PEIYATE  LIBRARY. 


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EED-TAPE 


AND 


PIGEON-HOLE  GENERALS 

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AS   SEEN    FROM    THE    BANKS 

DURING  A 


Campaign  tit  tlje  2trmg  0f  tlje  |)0t0mac, 


BT 

A  CITIZEN-SOLDIER 

^ 


Wo  mast  be  brief  when  Traitors  brave  the  Field.11 


NEW    YORK  : 

Carleton^  Publisher ^  413  Broadway. 


M  DCCC  LXIV. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  In  the  year  1864,  by 

GEO.  W.  CAKLETON, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States  for  the  Southern 
District  of  New  York. 


B.    CEAIOHEAD, 

Printer,  Stereotyper,  and  Electrotjrper 
Carton   Cuilliing, 

81,  88,  and  85  Centre  Street. 


E+/0 

'X 


PREFACE. 


"  GREEK-FIRE  has  shivered  the  statue  of  John  C.  Calhoun  in  the 
streets  of  the  City  of  Charleston," — so  the  papers  say.  Whether  true 
or  not,  the  Greek-fire  of  the  righteous  indignation  of  a  loyal  people  is 
fast  shattering  the  offspring  of  his  infamous  teachings, — the  armed 
treason  of  the  South,  and  its  more  cowardly  ally  the  insidious  treach 
ery  that  lurks  under  doubtful  cover  in  the  loyal  States.  In  thunder 
tones  do  the  masses  declare,  that  now  and  for  ever,  they  repudiate  the 
Treason  and  despise  the  Traitor.  Nobly  are  the  hands  of  our  Honest 
President  sustained  in  prosecuting  this  most  righteous  war. 

In  a  day  like  this,  the  least  that  can  be  expected  of  any  citizen  is — 
duty.  "We  are  all  co-partners  in  our  beneficent  government.  We 
should  be  co-laborers  for  her  defence.  Jealous  of  the  interests  of  her 
brave  soldiery  ;  for  they  are  our  own.  Proud  of  their  noble  deeds ; 
they  constitute  our  National  Heritage. 

If  these  campaign  sketches,  gathered  in  actual  service  during 
1862-3,  and  grouped  during  the  spare  hours  of  convalescence  from  a 
camp  fever,  correct  one  of  the  least  of  the  abuses  in  our  military 
machinery — if  they  lighten  -the  toil  of  the  humblest  of  our  soldiers, 
or  nerve  anew  the  resolves  of  loyalty  tempted  to  despair,  the  writer 
will  have  no  reason  to  complain  of  labor  lost.  Great  latitude  of 
excuse  for  the  existence  of  abuses  must  be  allowed,  when  we  con 
sider  the  suddenness  with  which  our  volunteers  sprang  into  ranks  at 
the  outset  of  the  Rebellion.  Now  that  the  warfare  is  a  system,  there 
is  less  reason  for  their  continuance.  Reformers  must,  however, 


IV  PREFACE. 

remember,  that  to  keep  our  citizen-soldiery  effective,  they  must  not 
make  too  much  of  the  citizen  and  too  little  of  the  soldier.  Abuses 
must  be  corrected  under  the  laws ;  but  to  be  corrected  at  all  they 
must  first  be  exposed. 

Drunkenness,  half-heartedness,  and  senseless  routine,  have  done 
much  to  cripple  the  patriotic  efforts  of  our  people.  The  patriotism 
of  the  man  who  at  this  day  doubts  the  policy  of  their  opeu  reproof 
can  well  be  questioned.  West  Point  has,  in  too  many  instances, 
nursed  imbecility  and  treason ;  but  in  our  honest  contempt  for 
the  small  men  of  whom,  in  common  with  other  institutions,  she 
has  had  her  share, — we  must  not  ignore  those  bright  pages  of 
our  history  adorned  with  the  skill  and  heroism  of  her  nobler  sous. 
McClellanism  did  not  follow  its  chief  from  Warrenton  ;  or  Burnside's 
earnestness,  Hooker's  dash,  and  Meade's  soldierly  stand  at  Gettys 
burg,  backed  as  they  were  by  the  heroic  fighting  of  the  Army  of  the 
Potomac,  would  have  had,  as  they  deserved,  more  decisive  results. 

The  Young  Men  of  the  Land  would  the  writer  address  in  the  follow 
ing  pages — "  because  they  are  strong,"  and  in  their  strength  is  the 
nation's  hope.  In  certain  prospect  of  victory  over  the  greatest  enemy 
we  have  yet  had  as  a  nation — the  present  infamous  rebellion — we  can 
well  await  patiently  the  correction  of  minor  evils. 

"Meanwhile  we'll  sacrifice  to  liberty, 

Remember,  0  my  friends !  the  laws,  the  rights, 
,  '   '  The  generous  plan  of  power  delivered  down 

From  age  to  age  by  your  renowned  forefathers, 
(So  dearly  bought,  the  price  of  so  much  blood ;) 
Oh,  let  it  never  perish  in  your  hands ! 
But  piously  transmit  it  to  your  children. 
Do  thou,  great  liberty !  inspir  e  our  souls, 
And  mnke  our  lives  in  thy  possession  happy. 
Or  our  deaths  glorious  in  thy  just  defence.1' 

February,  1864. 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

The  Advent  of  our  General  of  Division — Camp  near  Frederick 
City,  Maryland — The  t)ld  Revolutionary  Barracks  at  Frederick 
— An  Irish  Corporal's  Recollections  of  the  First  Regiment  of 
Volunteers  from  Pennsylvania — Punishment  in  the  Old  First, .  9 

CHAPTER    II. 

The  Treason  at  Harper's  Ferry — Rebel  Occupation  of  Frederic* 
— Patriotism  of  the  Ladies  of  Frederick — A  Rebel  Guard  non 
plussed  by  a  Lady — The  Approach  to  Antietam — Our  Brigadier 
cuts  Red -Tape — THE  BLUNDER  OF  THE  DAY  AFTER  ANTIETAM 
—The  Little  Irish  Corporal's  idea  of  Strategy, 15 

CHAPTER  III. 

The  March  to  the  River — Our  Citizen  Soldiery — Popularity  of 
Commanders,  how  Lost  and  how  Won — The  Rebel  Dead — How 
the  Rebels  repay  Courtesy, 27 

CHAPTER   IV. 

A  Regimental  Baker — Hot  Pies — Position  of  the  Baker  in  line  of 
Battle — Troubles  of  the  Baker — A  Western  Virginia  Captain 
on  a  Whiskey  Scent — The  Baker's  Story — How  to  obtain  Poli 
tical  Influence — Dancing  Attendance  at  Washington — What 
Simon  says — Confiscation  of  Whiskey, 33 

CHAPTER  V. 

The  Scene  at  the  Surgeon's  Quarters — Our  Little  Dutch  Doctor — 
Incidents  of  his  Practice — His  Messmate  the  Chaplain — The 
Western  Virginia  Captain's  account  of  a  Western  Virginia 
Chaplain — His  Solitary  Oath — How  he  Preached,  how  he 
Prayed,  and  how  he  Bush- whacked — His  Revenge  of  Snowden's 
Death — How  the  little  Dutch  Doctor  applied  the  Captain's 
Story, 4t 


VI  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  VI. 

PAGE 

A  Day  at  Division  Head-Quarters — The  Judge  Advocate — The 
tweedle-dum  and  tweedle-dee  of  Red-Tape  as  understood  by 
Pigeon-hole  Generals — Red  Tape  Reveries — French  Authori 
ties  on  Pigeon  hole  Investigations — An  Obstreperous  Court  and 
Pigeon-hole  Strictures — Disgusting  Head-Quarter  Profanity,. . .  59 

CHAPTER   VII. 

A  Picket-Station  on  the  Upper  Potomac — Fitz  John's  Rail  Order 
— Rails  for  Corps  Head-Quarters  versus  Rails  for  Hospitals — 
Tfie  Western  Virginia*Captain — Old  Rosy,  and  How  to  Silence 
Secesh  Women — The  Old  Woman's  Fixin's — The  Captain's 
Orderly, 70 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

The  Reconnoissance — Shepherdstown — Punch  and  Patriotism — 
Private  Tom  on  West  Point  and  Southern  Sympathy — The 
Little  Irish  Corporal  on  John  Mitchell — A  Skirmish — Hurried 
Dismounting  of  the  Dutch  Doctor  and  Chaplain — Battle  of 
Falling  Waters  not  intended — Story  of  the  Little  Irish  Corporal 
— Patterson^  Folly,  or  Treason, 83 

CHAPTER   IX. 

Reconnoissance  concluded — What  we  Saw  and  What  we  didn't 
See,  and  what  the  Good  Public  Read — Pigeon  hole  Generalship 
and  the  Press — The  Preacher  Lieutenant  and  how  he  Recruited 
— Comparative  Merits  of  Black  Union  Men  and  White  Rebels 
— A  Ground  Blast,  and  its  effect  upon  a  Pigeon-hole  General — 
Staff  Officers  Striking  a  Snag  in  the  Western  Virginia  Captain 
— Why  the  People  have  a  right  to  expect  Active  Army  Move 
ments — Red  Tape  and  the  Sick  List — Pigeon-holing  at  Division 
Headquarters, 100 

CHAPTER  X. 

Departure  from  Sharpsburg  Camp — The  Old  Woman  of  Sandy 
Hook — Harper's  Ferry — South  sewing  Dragon's  Teeth  by 
shedding  Old  John's  Blood — The  Dutch  Doctor  and  the  Boar — 
Beauties  of  Tobacco — Camp  Life  on  the  Character — Patrick, 
Brother  to  the  Little  Corporal — General  Patterson  no  Irishman 
— Guarding  a  Potato  Patch  in  Dixie — The  Preacher  Lieutenant 
on  Emancipation — Inspection  and  the  Exhorting  Colonel — The 
Scotch  Tailor  on  Military  Matters, 11G 


CONTENTS.  VU 

CHAPTER  XI. 

PAGE 

Snicker's  Gap — Private  Harry  on  ihe  "  Anaconda" — Not  inclined 
to  turn  Boot-Black — "  Oh  !  why  did  you  go  for  a  Soldier?' — 
The  ex-News  Boy — Pigeon-Hole  Generalship  on  the  March — 
The  Valley  of  the  Shenandoah — A  Flesh  Carnival — The  Dutch 
Doctor  on  a  Horse-dicker — An  Old  Rebel,  and  how  he  parted 
with  his  Apple-Brandy — Toasting  the  "  Union" — Spruce  Re 
treats  137 

CHAPTER    XII. 

The  March  to  Warren  ton — Secesh  Sympathy  and  Quarter-Master's 
Receipts — Middle- Borough — The  Venerable  Uncle  Ned  and  his 
Story  of  the  Captain  of  the  Tigers — The  Adjutant  on  Strategy 
— Red  Tapisrn  and  Mac-Napoleonistn — Movement  Stopped — 
Division  Head-Quarters  out  of  Whiskey — Stragglers  and 
Marauders — A  Summary  Proceeding — Persimmons  and  Picket- 
Duty— A  Rebellious  Pig— McUellauism, 160 

CHAPTER   XIII. 

Camp  near  Warrenton — Stability  of  the  Republic — Measures,  not 
Men,  regarded  by  the  Public — Removal  of  McClellan — Divi 
sion  Head-Quarters  a  House  of  Mourning — A  Pigeon-Hole 
General  and  his  West  Point  Patent-Leather  Cartridge-Box — 
Head-Quarter  Murmurings  and  Muti  erings — Departure  of  Little 
Mac  and  the  Prince — Cheering  by  Word  of  Command — The 
Southern  Saratoga — Rebel  Regret  at  McClellan's  Departure,. .  178 

CHAPTER   XTV. 

A  Skulker  and  the  Dutch  Doctor — A  Review  of  the  Corps  by  Old 
Joe — A  Change  of  Base;  what  it  means  to  the  Soldier,  and 
what  to  the  Public — Our  Quarter-Master  and  General  Hooker 
— The  Movement  by  the  Left  Flank — A  Division  General  and 
Dog  driving — The  Desolation  of  Virginia — A  Rebel  Lnnd- 
Ovvner  and  the  Quarter-Master — "No  Hoss,  Sir!1' — The  Poeti 
cal  Lieutenant  unappreciated — Mutton  or  Dog? — Desk  Drudg 
ery  and  Senseless  Routine, 193 

CHAPTER   XV. 

Red-Tape  and  the  Soldier's  Widow — Pigeon-holing  at  Head- 
Quarters  and  Weeping  at  the  Family  Fireside — A  Pigeon-hole 
Genenil  Outwitted- — Fishing  for  a  Discharge — The  Little  Irish 
Corporal  on  Topographical  Engineers — Guard  Duty  over  a 
Whiskey  Barrel, 210 


Vlli  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  XYI. 

PAGE 

The  Battle  of  Fredericksburg — Screwing  Courage  up  to  the  Stick 
ing  Poiut — Consolations  of  a  Flask — Pigeon-hole  Nervousness 
— Abandonment  of  Knapsacks — Incidents  before,  during,  and 
after  the  Fight, , 225 

CHAPTER   XVII. 

The  Sorrows  of  the  Sutler — The  Sutler's  Tent — Generals  manu 
factured  by  the  Dailies — Fighting  and  Writing — A  Glandered 
Horse — Courts-martial — Mania  of  a  Pigeon-hole  General  on 
the  Subject — Colonel  and  Lieutenant  Colonel  iu  Strait-Jackets,  247 

CHAPTER    XVIII. 

Dress  Coats  versus  Blouses — Military  Law — Bill  the  Cook — 
Courts-Martial — Important  Decision  in  Military  Law — A  Man 
with  Two  Blouses  on,  can  be  compelled  to  put  a  Dress  Coat  on 
top — A  Colored  French  Cook  and  a  Beefy  browed  Judge- Ad 
vocate — The  Mud  March — No  Pigeon-holing  on  a  "Whiskey 
Scent — Old  Joe  in  Command — Dissolution  of  Partnership 
between  the  Dutch  Doctor  and  the  Chaplain, 264 

CHAPTER  XIX. 

The  Presentation  Mania — The  Western  Virginia  Captain  in  the 
War  Department — Politeness  and  Mr.  Secretary  Stanton — Cap 
ture  of  the  Dutch  Doctor — A  Genuine  Newspaper  Sell, 283 

CHAPTER    XX. 

The  Army  again  on  the  Move — Pack  Mules  and  Wagon  Trains — 
A  Negro  Prophetess — The  Wilderness — Hooped  Skirts  and 
Black  Jack — The  Five  Days'  Fight  at  Chancellorsville — Terri 
ble  Death  of  an  Aged  Slave — A  Pigeon-hole  General's  "  Power 

.    in  Reserve," 295 

CHAPTER  XXI. 

The  Pigeon -Hole  General  and  his  Adjutant,  under  Charges 
— The  Exhorting  Colonel's  Adieu  to  the  Sunday  Fight  at 
Chancellorsville ;  Reasons  thereof — Speech  of  the  Dutch  Doc 
tor  in  Reply  to  a  Peace-Offering  from  the  Chaplain — The  Irish 
Corporal  stumping  for  Freedom — Black  Charlie's  Compliments 
to  his  Master — Western  Virginia  at  the  Head  of  a  Black  Regi 
ment,  . ,  .  313 


RED-TAPE 


PIGEON-HOLE  GENERALS 


CHAPTER    I. 

The  Advent  of  our  General  of  Division  —  Camp  near  Frederick 
City,  Maryland  —  The  Old  Revolutionary  Barracks  at  Frederick 
—  An  Irish  Corporal's  Recollections  of  the  First  Regiment  of 
Volunteers  from  Pennsylvania  —  Punishment  in  the  Old  First. 


new  Division-General,  boys  I"  exclaimed 
a  sergeant  of  the  ^Hftfe  Pennsylvania  Vol 
unteers,  whose  attention  and  head  were  turned  at  the 
clatter  of  horses'  hoofs  to  the  rear.  "  I  heard  an 
officer  say  that  he  would  be  along  to-day,  and  I  re 
cognise  his  description." 

The  men,  although  weary  and  route-worn,  straight 
ened  up,  dressed  their  ranks,  and  as  the  General  and 
Staff  rode  past,  some  enthusiastic  soldier  proposed 
cheers  for  our  new  Commander.  They  started  with 
a  will,  but  the  General's  doubtful  look,  as  interpreted 
by  the  men,  gave  little  or  no  encouragement,  and  tktf 
effort  ended  in  a  few  ragged  discordant  yells. 

"  He  is  a  strange-looking  old  covey  any  how," 
said  one  of  the  boys  in  an  undertone.  "  Did  you 

1* 


10  KED-TAPE   AND 

notice  that  red  muffler  about  his  neck,  and  how 
pinched  up  and  crooked  his  hat  is,  and  that  odd-look 
ing  moustache,  and  how  savagely  he  cocks  his  eyes 
through  his  spectacles?" 

"  They  say,"  replied  the  sergeant,  "  that  we  are 
the  first  troops  that  he  has  commanded.  He  was  a 
staff  officer  before  in  the  Topographical  Corps. 
Didn't  you  notice  the  T.C.  on  his  coat  buttons  ?" 

"  And  is  he  going  to  practise  upon  us?"  blurts  out 
a  bustling  red-faced  little  Irish  corporal.  "  Be 
Jabers,  that  accounts  for  the  crooked  cow  road  we 
have  marched  through  the  last  day — miles  out  of  the 
way,  and  niver  a  chance  for  coffee." 

"  You  are  too  fast,  Terence,"  said  the  sergeant;  "  if 
he  belongs  to  the  Topographical  Corps,  he  ought  at 
least  to  know  the  roads." 

"  And  didn't  you  say  not  two  hours  ago  that  we 
were  entirely  out  of  the  way,  and  that  we  had  been 
wandering  as  crooked  as  the  creek  that  flows  back  of 
the  old  town  we  are  from,  and  nearly  runs  through 
itself  in  a  dozen  places?" 

The  sergeant  admitted  that  he  had  said  so,  but  stated 
that  perhaps  the  General  was  not  to  blame,  and  added 
somewhat  jocosely :  "  At  any  rate  the  winding  of  the 
creek  makes  those  beautiful  walks  we  have  so  much 
enjoyed  in  summer  evenings." 

"Beautiful  winding  walks!  is  it,  sergeant!  Shure 
and  whin  you  have  your  forty  pound  wait  upon  your 
back,  forty  rounds  of  lead  and  powdher  in  your  car 
tridge-box,  and  twenty  more  in  your  pocket,  three  days' 
rations  in  your  haversack,  a  musket  on  your  shoulder, 
and  army  brogans  on  your  throtters,  you  are  just 
about  the  first  man  that  I  know  of  to  take  straight 
cuts."  *  *  * 

It  was  a  close  warm  day  near  the  middle  of  Sep- 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  11 

tember.  The  roads  were  dusty  and  the  troops  ex 
hausted.  Two  days  previously  the  brigade  to  which 
they  belonged  had  left  the  pleasantest  of  camps,  called 
u  Camp  Whipple"  in  honor  of  their  former  and  favor 
ite  Division  Commander.  Situated  in  an  orchard  on 
the  level  brow  of  a  hill  that  overlooked  Washington, 
the  imposing  Capitol,  the  broad  expanse  of  the  Poto 
mac  dotted  with  frequent  craft,  the  many  national 
buildings,  and  scenery  of  historic  interest,  the  men 
left  it  with  regret,  but  carried  with  them  recollections 
that  often  in  times  of  future  depression  revived  their 
patriotic  ardor. 

Over  dusty  roads,  through  the  muddy  aqueduct 
of  the  Chesapeake  and  Ohio  Canal,  hurried  on  over 
the  roughly  paved  streets  of  Georgetown,  and  through 
the  suburbs  of  Washington,  they  finally  halted  for  the 
night,  and.  as  it  chanced  through  lack  of  orders,  for 
the  succeeding  day  also,  near  Meridian  Hill.  Un 
der  orders  to  join  the  Fifth  Army  Corps  commanded 
by  Major-General  Fitz  John  Porter,  to  which  the 
Division  had  been  previously  assigned,  the  march  was 
resumed  on  the  succeeding  day,  which  happened  to 
be  Sunday,  and  in  the  afternoon  of  which  our  chapter 
opens. 

A  march  of  another  day  brought  the  Brigade  to  a 
recent  Rebel  camp  ground.  Traces  of  their  occu 
pancy  were  found  not  only  in  their  depredations  in 
the  neighborhood  destructive  of  railroad  bridges,  but 
also  in  letters  and  wall-paper  enveloped  adorned  with 
the  lantern-jawed  phiz  of  Jefferson  Davis.  The  latter 
were  sought  after  with  avidity  as  soon  as  ranks  were 
broken  and  tents  pitched ;  the  more  eagerly  perhaps 
for  the  reason  that  during  the  greater  part  of  their 
previous  month  of  service  they  had  been  frequently 
within  sound  of  rebel  cannon,  although  but  once 


12  BED-TAPE    AND 

under  their  fire.  During  the  previous  day,  in  fact, 
they  had  marched  to  the  music  of  the  artillery  of 
South  Mountain. 

That  night  awakened  lively  recollections  in  the 
mind  of  Terence  McCarty,  our  lively  little  Irish  cor 
poral.  His  duty  for  the  time  as  corporal  of  a  relief 
gave  him  ample  opportunity  to  indulge  them.  He 
had  belonged  to  the  old  First  Pennsylvania  Regiment 
of  three  months  men,  that  a  little  over  a  year  before, 
when  Maryland  was  halting  between  loyalty  and  dis 
loyalty,  had  spent  its  happiest  week  of  service  in  the 
yard  of  the  revolutionary  barracks  in  the  city  of  Frede 
rick.  Terence  was  but  two  short  miles  from  the  spot. 
Brimfull  of  the  memories,  he  turned  to  a  comrade, 
who  had  also  belonged  to  the  First,  and  who  with 
others  chanced  to  stand  near. 

"  I  say,  Jack  I  Do  you  recollect  the  ould  First  and 
Frederick,  and  do  you  know  that  we  are  but  two 
miles  and  short  ones  at  that  from  the  blissed  ould 
white-washed  barracks,  full  of  all  kind  of  quare  guns 
and  canteens  looking  like  barrels  cut  down  ;  and  the 
Parade  Ground  where  our  ould  Colonel  used  to  come 
his  '  Briskly,  men  !  Briskly,'  when  he'd  put  us  through 
the  manual,  and  where  so  many  ladies  would  come  to 
see  our  ivolutions,  and  where  they  set  the  big  table  for 
us  on  the  Fourth,  and  where — 

"  Hold  on,  corporal !  you  can't  give  that  week's  his 
tory  to-night." 

"  I  was  only  going  to  obsarve,  Jack,  that  I  feel . 
like  a  badly  used  man." 

"  How  so,  Terence  ?" 

"  Why  you  see  nearly  ivery  officer,  commissioned 
and  non-commissioned,  of  the  ould  First  has  been 
promoted.  -  The  Colonel  was  too  ould  for  service,  or 
my  head  on  it,  he  would  have  had  a  star.  Just  look 


PIGEOX-HOLE   GENERALS.  13 

at  the  captains  by  way  of  sample — Company  A,  a 
Lieutenant-Colonel,  expecting  and  desarving  an  eagle 
ivery  day ;  Company  B,  a  Lieutenant-Colonel ;  Com 
pany  C,  our  own  Lieutenant-Colonel ;  Company  D,  a 
Brigadier  for  soldierly  looks,  daring,  and  dash  ;  Com 
pany  E,  a  Captain  in  an  aisy  berth  in  the  regular  ser 
vice  ;  Company  F,  a  Colonel ;  Company  G,  a  Major ; 
Company  li,  a  Lieutenant-Colonel;  Company  1, 1  have 
lost  sight  of,  and  the  lion-hearted  captain  of  Com 
pany  K,  doing  a  lion's  share  of  work  at  the  head  of  a 
regiment  in  Tennessee.  Now,  Jack,  the  under  officers 
and  many  privates  run  pretty  much  the  same  way, 
but  not  quite  as  high.  Bad  luck  to  me,  I  was  fifth 
corporal  thin  and  am  eighth  now — promoted  crab- 
fashion.  Fortune's  wheel  gives  me  many  a  turn, 
Jack!  but  always  stops  with  rne  on  the  lower 
side." 

"  I  saw  you  on  the  upper  side  once,"  retorted  Jack 
roguishly. 

"  And  whin  ?  may  I  ask." 

"  When,  do  you  say  ?  why,  when  you  took  about 
half  a  canteen  too  much,  and  that  same  old  colonel 
had  you  tied  on  the  upper  side  of  a  barrel  on  the 
green  in  front  of  the  barracks." 

"  Bad  luck  to  an  ill-natured  memory,  Jack,  for  stir 
ring  that  up,"  replied  the  corporal,  breaking  in  upon 
the  laughter  that  followed,  u  but  I  now  recollect,  it 
was  the  day  before  you  slipped  the  guard  whin  the 
colonel  gave  you  a  barrel  uniform  with  your  head 
through  the  end,  and  kept  me  for  two  mortal  long 
hours  in  the  hot  sun,  a  tickling  of  you  under  the  nose 
with  a  straw,  and  daubing  molasses  on  your  chaps 
to  plaze  the  flies,  to  the  great  admiration  of  a  big 
crowd  of  ladies  and  gentlemen." 

Jack  subsided,  and  the  hearty  laughter  at  the  cor- 


14 


KED-TAPE   AND 


poral's  ready  retort  was  broken  a  few  minutes  later 
by  a  loud  call  for  the  corporal  of  the  guard,  which 
harried  Terence  away,  dispersed  the  crowd,  and  might 
as"  well  end  this  chapter. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  15 


CHAPTER  II. 

The  Treason  at  Harper's  Ferry — Rebel  Occupation  of  Frederick — 
Patriotism  of  the  Ladies  of  Frederick — A  Rebel  Guard  non 
plussed  by  a  Lady — The  Approach  to  Antietam — Our  Brigadier 
cuts  Red  Tape — The  Blunder  of  the  day  after  Antietam — The 
little  Irish  Corporal's  idea  of  Strategy. 

THE  Brigade  did  not  rest  long  in  its  new  camp. 
The  day  and  a  half,  however,  passed  there  had 
many  incidents  to  be  remembered  by.  Fish  were 
caught  in  abundance  from  the  beautiful  Monocacy. 
But  the  most  impressive  scene  was  the  long  proces 
sion  of  disarmed,  dejected  men,  who  had  been  basely 
surrendered  at  Harper's  Ferry,  and  were  now  on  their 
way  homeward,  on  parole.  Many  and  deep  were  the 
curses  they  uttered  against  their  late  commanders. 
"  Boys,  we've  been  sold !  Look  out,"  cried  a  comely 
bright-eyed  young  officer  of  eighteen  or  thereabouts. 
"That  we  have,"  added  a  chaplain,  who  literally  bore 
the  cross  upon  his  shoulders  in  a  pair  of  elegant  straps. 
When  will  earnest  men  cease  to  be  foiled  in  this  war 
by  treacherous  commanders?  was  an  inquiry  that 
pressed  itself  anxiously  home. 

But  the  thunders  of  Antietam  were  reverberating 
through  that  mountainous  region,  distinctly  heard  in 
all  their  many  echoes,  and  of  course  the  all-absorbiLg 
topic.  At  3  P.M.  orders  came  to  move  a  short  distance 


16  BED-TAPE   AND 

beyond  Frederick.  The  division  was  rapidly  formed, 
and  the  men  marched  joyously  along  through  the 
streets  of  Frederick,  already  crowded  with  our  own 
and  Rebel  wounded,  to  the  sound  of  lively  martial 
music ;  but  none  more  joyously  than  the  members  of 
the  old  First,  whose  recollections  were  brisk  of  good 
living  as  they  recognised  in  many  a  lady  a  former 
benefactress.  Bradley  T.  Johnson's  race,  that  com 
menced  with  his  infamously  prepared  and  lying  hand 
bills,  was  soon  run  in  Frederick.  JSTo  one  of  the 
border  cities  has  been  more  undoubtedly  or  devotedly 
patriotic.  •  Its  prominent  ministers  at  an  early  day 
took  bold  positions.  The  ladies  were  not  behind,  and 
many  a  sick  and  wounded  soldier  will  bless  them  to 
his  latest  hour.  The  world  has  heard  of  the  well 
deserved  fame  of  Florence  Nightingale.  History 
will  hold  up  to  a  nation's  gratitude  thousands  of  such 
ministering  angels,  who,  moving  in  humbler  circles, 
perhaps,  are  none  the  less  entitled  to  a  nation's  praise. 
"  Great  will  be  their  reward." 

To  show  the  spirit  that  emboldened  the  ladies  of 
Frederick,  a  notable  instance  is  related  as  having 
occurred  during  the  Rebel  occupation  of  the  city 
under  General  Stuart.  Many  Union  ladies  had  left  the 
place.  Not  so,  however,  with  Mrs.  D.,  the  lively,  witty, 
and  accomplished  wife  of  a  prominent  Lutheran  min 
ister.  The  Union  sick  and  wounded  that  remained 
demanded  attention,  and  for  their  sake,  as  well  as 
from  her  own  high  spirit,  she  resolved  to  stay.  Miss 
Annie  C.,  the  beautiful  and  talented  daughter  of  Ex- 
U.  S.  Senator  C.,  an  intimate  friend  of  Mrs.  D., 
through  like  devotion,  also  remained.  Rebel  officers, 
gorgeous  in  grey  and  gilt  lace,  many  of  them  old 
residents  of  the  place,  strutted  about  the  streets.  The 
ragged  privates  begged  from  door  to  door.  Mrs.  D., 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  17 

and  her  friend  had  been  separated  several  days — a 
long  period  considering  their  close  intimacy  and  their 
present  surroundings.  Mrs.  D.  resolved  to  visit  her, 
and  with  her  to  resolve  was  to  execute.  Threading 
her  way  through  the  crowded  streets,  heeding  not  the 
jeers  or  insults  of  the  rebel  soldiery,  she  soon  came 
in  front  of  the  Cooper  Mansion,  to  find  a  rebel  flag 
floating  from  an  upper  window,  and  a  well  dressed 
soldierly  looking  greyback,  with  bayonet  fixed, 
pacing  his  beat  in  front.  Nothing  daunted,  Mrs.  D. 
approached.  "  Halt,"  was  the  short  sharp  hail  of 
the  sentinel,  as  he  brought  his  bayonet  to  the  charge. 
"Who  is  quartered  here?''  asked  Mrs.  D.,  gradually 
nearing  the  sentry.  "  Maj.-Gen.-Stuart,"  was  the  brief 
reply,  "I  want  to  visit  a  lady  acquaintance  in  the 
house."  "  My  orders  are  strict,  madam,  that  no  one  can 
cross  my  beat  without  a  pass."  "  Pass  or  no  pass,  I 
must  and  will  go  into  that  house"  and  quick  as  thought 
this  frail  lady  dashed  aside  the  bayonet,  sprang  across 
the  beat,  and  entered  the  hall,  while  the  sentry  con 
fused,  uncertain  whether  he  sfeould  follow  or  not, 
stood  a  minute  or  two  before  resuming  his  step. 
From  an  upper  window  Gen.  Stuart  laughed  heartily 
at  the  scene,  and  was  loud  in  praise  of  her  tact  and  pluck. 

But  all  this  time  our  division  has  been  moving 
through  the  streets  of  Frederick,  in  fact  has  reached 
what  was  to  have  been  its  camping  ground  for  the 
night.  The  reader  will  excuse  me ;  older  heads  and 
more  exact  pens  have  frequently,  when  'ladies  inter 
vened,  made  much  longer  digressions. 

The  halt  was  but  for  a  moment.  An  aide-de-camp, 
weary-looking,  on  a  horse  covered  with  foam,  dashed 
up  to  the  division  commander,  bearing  an  order  from 
the  commander-in-chief  that  the  division  must  join 
its  corps  at  Antietam  without  delay.  The  fight  might 


18  BED-TAPE   AND 

be  renewed  in  the  morning,  and  if  so,  fresh  troops 
were  needed.  The  order  was  communicated  through 
the  brigade  commanders  to  commanders  of  regiments, 
while  the  subordinate  field  officers  went  from  com 
pany  to  company  encouraging  the  men,  telling  them 
that  a  glorious  victory  had  been  gained,  that  the 
rebels  were  hemmed  in  by  the  river  on  three  sides, 
and  our  army  in  front;  that  there  was  but  one 
ford,  and  that  a  poor  one,  and  that  the  rebels  must 
either  take  to  the  river  indiscriminately,  be  cut  to 
pieces,  or  surrender.  In  short,  that  we  had  them. 

These  statements  were  received  with  the  most 
enthusiastic  applause.  As  the  Division  proceeded  on  its 
march,  they  were  confirmed  by  reports  of  spectators 
and  wounded  men  in  ambulances.  What  was  the  most 
significant  fact  to  the  men  who  had  seen  the  thousands 
of  stragglers  and  skulkers  from  the  second  battle  of 
Bull  Run,  was  the  entire  absence  of  straggling  or  de 
moralization  of  any  kind.  Our  troops  must  have 
been  victorious,  was  the  ready  and  natural  suggestion. 
.The  thought  nerved  them,  and  pushing  up  their 
knapsacks,  and  hitching  up  their  pantaloons,  they 
trudged  with  a  will  up  the  mountain  slope. 

That  mountain  slope! — it  would  well  repay  a  visit 
from  one  of  our  large  cities,  to  descend  that  mountain 
a  bright  summer  afternoon.  A  sudden  turn  in  the  road 
brings  to  view  the  sun-gilded  spires  of  the  city  of 
Frederick,  rising  as  if  by  enchantment  from  one  of 
the  loveliest  of  valleys.  Manv  of  the  descriptions  of 
foreign  scenery  pale  before  the  realities  of  this  view. 
When  will  our  Hawthornes  and  our  Taylors  be  just 
to  the  land  of  their  birth  ? 

Scenery  on  that  misty  night  could  not  delay  the 
troops.  The  mountain-top  was  gained.  About  half 
way  down  the  northern  slope  of  the  mountain  the 


PIGEON-I10LE    GENERALS.  19 

Division  halted  to  obtain  the  benefits  of  a  spring 
fifty  yards  from  the  road.  A  steep  path  led  to  it,  and 
one  by  one  the  men  filed  down  to  fill  their  canteens. 
The  delay  was  terribly  tedious,  and  entirely  unneces 
sary,  as  five  minutes'  inquiry  among  the  men,  many 
of  whom  were  familiar  with  the  road,  would  have 
informed  the  Commanding  General  of  abundance  of 
excellent  water,  a  short  mile  beyond,  and  close  by  the 
wayside.  Pride,  which  prevails  to  an  unwarranted 
extent  among  too  many  regular  officers,  is  frequently 
the  cause  of  much  vexation.  Inquiry  and  exer 
tion  to  lighten  the  labors  of  our  brave  volunteers 
would,  with  every  earnest  officer,  be  unceasing.  A 
short  distance  further  a  halt  was  ordered  for  coffee, 
that  "  sublime  beverage  of  Mocha,"  indispensable  in 
camp  or  in  the  field.  Strange  to  say,  our  brigadier, 
who  habitually  confined  himself  closely  to  cold  water, 
was  one  of  the  most  particular  of  officers  in  ordering 
halts  for  coffee. 

South  Mountain  was  crossed,  but  in  the  dusky 
light  little  could  be  seen  of  the  devastation  caused  by 
the  late  battle.  "  Yonder,"  said  a  wounded  man  who 
chanced  to  be  passing,  "  our  gall  ant  General  lost  his 
life."  The  brave,  accomplished  Reno  !  How  dearly 
our  national  integrity  is  maintained  !  Brave  spirit, 
in  your  life  you  thought  it  well  worth  the  cost ;  your  ,, 
death  can  never  be  considered  a  vain  sacrifice ! 

Boonsboro'  was  entered  about  daybreak.  The  road 
to  Sharpsburg  was  here  taken,  and  at  7£  A.M.,  hav 
ing  marched  during  that  night  twenty-eight  miles,  the 
Division  stood  at  arms  near  the  battle-ground  along 
a  road  crowded  with  ammunition  trains.  Inquiry 
was  made  as  to  the  ammunition,  and  the-  number  of 
rounds  for  each  man  ordered  to  be  increased  immedi 
ately  from  forty  to  sixty. 


BED-TAPE    AND 


"  Pioneer  !  hand  me  that  axe,"  said  our  brigadier, 
dismounting.  "  Sergeant,"  addressing  the  sergeant  of 
the  ammunition  guard,  "  hand  out  those  boxes."  "  The 
Division  General  has  given  strict  orders,  if  you  please, 
General,  that  the  boxes  must  pass  regularly  through 
the  hands  of  the  ordnance  officer,"  said  the  sergeant, 
saluting.  "  I  am  acting  ordnance  officer  ;  hand  out 
the  boxes  !"  was  the  command,  that  from  its  tone  and 
manner  brooked  no  delay.  A  box  was  at  his  feet. 
In  an  instant  a  clever  blow  from  the  muscular  arm 
of  the  hero  of  Winchester  laid  it  open.  Another 
and  another,  until  the  orderly  sergeant  had  given  the 
required  number  of  rounds  to  every  man  in  the  bri 
gade.  "  Attention  !  Column  !  Shoulder  Arms  !  Eight 
Face  !  Eight  Shoulder  Shift  Arms  !"  and  at  a  quick 
step  the  brigade  moved  towards  the  field. 

After  passing  long  trains  of  ambulances  and  ammu 
nition  wagons,  the  boys  were  saluted  as  they  passed 
through  the  little  town  of  Keetysville  by  exhortations 
from  the  wounded,  who  crowded  every  house,  and 
forgot  their  wounds  in  their  enthusiasm.  "  Fellows, 
you've  got  'em  !  Give  'em  h  —  1  !"  yelled  an  artillery 
sergeant,  for  whom  a  flesh  wound  in  the  arm  was  being 
dressed  at  the  window  by  a  kind-hearted  looking 
country  woman.  "  Give  it  to  'em  !"  "  They're  fast  !" 
"  This  good  lady  knows  every  foot  of  the  ground, 
and  says  so."  The  good  lady  smiled  assent,  and  was 
saluted  with  cheer  upon  cheer.  Dead  horses,  a  few 
unburied  men,  marks  of  shot  in  the  "buildings,  now 
told  of  immediate  proximity  to  the  field.  A  short 
distance  farther,  and  the  Division  was  drawn  up  in 
line  of  battle,  behind  one  of  the  singular  ridges  that 
mark  this  memorable  ground.  Fragments  of  shells, 
haversacks,  knapsacks,  and  the  like,  told  how  hotly 
the  ground  had  been  contested  on  the  previous  day. 


PIGEOX-HOLE    GENERALS.  21 

The  order  to  load  was  quickly  obeyed,  and  the  troops, 
with  the  remainder  of  the  Fifth  Corps  in  their  imme 
diate  neighborhood,  stood  to  arms. 

A  large  number  of  officers  lined  the  crest  of  the 
ridge,  and  thither,  with  leave,  the  Colonel  and  Lieut- 
Colonel  of  the  210th  repaired.  The  scene  that  met 
their  view  was  grand  beyond  description.  Another 
somewhat  higher  and  more  uniform  ridge,  running 
almost  parallel  to  the  ridge  or  rather  connected  series 
of  ridges  on  one  of  which  the  officers  stood,  was  the 
strong  position  held  by  the  rebels  on  the  previous 
day.  Between  the  ridges  flowed  the  sluggish  Antie- 
tam,  dammed  up  for  milling  purposes.  Beyond,  on. 
the  crest  of  the  hill,  gradually  giving  way,  were  the 
rebel  skirmishers ;  our  own  were  as  gradually  creep-^ 
ing  up  the  slope.  The  skirmishers  were  well  deploy 
ed  upon  both  sides ;  and  the  parallel  flashes  and  con 
tinuous  rattle  of  their  rifles  gave  an  interest  to  the 
scene,  ineffaceable  in  the  minds  of  spectators. 

"Do  you  hear  that  shell,  you  can  see  the  smoke 
just  this  side  of  Sharpsburg  on  our  left,"  said  the 
Colonel,  addressing  his  companion.  "  There  it  bursts," 
and  a  puff  of  white  smoke  expanded  itself  in  the  air 
fifty  yards  above  one  of  our  batteries  posted  on  a  ridge 
on  the  left.  Two  pieces  gave  quick  reply.  "  Officers, 
to  your  posts,"  shouted  an  aide-de-camp,  and  forthwith 
the  officers  galloped  to  their  respective  commands. 

"Boys,  the  ball  is  about  to  open,  put  your  best 
foot  foremost,"  said  the  Colonel  to  his  regiment.  The 
men,  excited,  supposing  themselves  about  to  pass  their 
first  ordeal  of  battle,  straightened  up,  held  their  pieces 
with  tightened  grips,  and  nervously  awaited  the 
"forward."  Beyond  the  sharp  crack  of  the  rifles, 
however,  no  further  sound  was  heard.  Hour  after  hour 
passed.  At  length  an  aide  from  the  staff  of  the  Divi- 


22  RED-TAPE    AND 

sion  General  cantered  to  where  the  Brigadier,  con 
versing  with  several  of  his  field  officers,  stood,  and 
informed  him  that  it  was  the  pleasure  of  the  Division 
General  that  the  men  should  be  made. comfortable,  as 
no  immediate  attack  was  apprehended.  "No  immediate 
attack  apprehended !"  echoed  the  Colonel.  "  Of  course 
not.  W.hy  don't  we  attack  them  ?" 

The  aide  flushed,  said  somewhat  excitedly  :  "  That 
was  the  order  I  received,  sir." 

"  Boys,  cook  your  coffee,"  said  our  Brigadier,  some 
what  mechanically — a  brown  study  pictured  in  his 
face. 

The  field  officers  scattered  to  relieve  their  hunger, 
or  rather  their  anxiety  as  to  the  programme  of  the 
day. 

"  Charlie,"  said  the  Lieut.-CoL,  addressing  a  good- 
humored  looking  Contraband,  "get  our  coffee  ready." 

The  Colonel,  with  the  other  field  and  staff  officers, 
seated  themselves  upon  knapsacks  unslung  for  their 
accommodation,  silently,  each  apparently  waiting 
upon  the  other  to  open  the  conversation.  In  the 
meantime  several  company  officers  who  had  heard  of 
the  order  gathered  about  them. 

"I  don't  understand  this  move  at  all,"  at  length 
said  the  Colonel  nervously.  "Here  we  are,  with  a 
reserve  of  thirty  thousand  men  who  have  not  been  in 
the  fight  at  all,  with  ammunition  untouched,  perfectly 
fresh  and  eager  for  the  move.  The  troops  that  were 
engaged  yesterday  have 'for  the  most  part  had  a  good 
night's  rest  and  are  ready  and  anxious  for  a  brush 
today.  The  rebels,  hemmed  in  on  three  sides  by  the 
river — with  a  miserable  ford,  and  that  only  in  one 
place,  as  every  body  knows,  and  as  there  is  no  earthly 
excuse  for  our  generals  not  knowing,  as  this  ground 
was  canvassed  often  enough  in  the  three  months' 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  25 

service.  Why  don't  we  advance?"  continued  the 
Colonel,  rising.  "Their  sharpshooters  are  near  the 
woods  now,  and  when  they  reach  it,  they'll  run  like 
Devils.  Why  don't  we  advance  ?  We  can  drive  them 
into  the  river,  if  they  like  that  better  than  being 
shelled ;  or  they  can  surrender,  which  they  would 
prefer  to  either.  And  as  to  force,  I'll  bet  we  have 
one  third  more." 

The  Colonel,  an  impressive,  fine-looking  man,  six 
feet  clear  in  his  socks,  of  thirty-eight  or  thereabouts, 
delivered  the  above  with  more  than  his  usual  earnest 
ness. 

The  Adjutant,  of  old  Berks  by  birth,  rather  short 
in  stature,  thick-set,  with  a  mathematically  developed 
head,  was  the  first  to  rejoin. 

"  It  can't  be  for  want  of  ammunition,  Colonel  1  This 
corps  has  plenty.  An  officer  in  a  corps  engaged  yes 
terday  told  me  that  they  had  enough,  and  you  all 
saw  the  hundreds  of  loaded  ammunition  wagons  that 
we  passed  in  the  road  close  at  hand — and  besides, 
what  excuse  can  there  be  ?  The  Rebs  I  understand 
did  not  get  much  available  ammunition  at  the  ferry. 
They  are  far  from  their  base  of  supplies,  while  we  are 
scant  fifteen  miles  from  one  railroad,  and  twenty- 
eight  frem  another,  and  good  roads  to  both." 

"  Be  easy,"  said  the  Major,  a  fine  specimen  of  man 
hood,  six  feet  two  and  a  half  clear  of  his  boots,  an 
Irishman  by  birth,  the  brogue,  however,  if  he  ever 
had  any,  lost  by  an  early  residence  in  this  country. 
"  Be  easy.  Little  Mac  is  a  safe  commander.  We 
tried  him,  Colonel,  in  the  Peninsula,  and  I'll  wager  my 
pay  and  allowances,  and  God  knows  I  need  them, 
that  he'll  have  his  army  safe." 

"  Yes,  and  the  Rebel  army  too,"  snappishly  inter 
rupted  the  Colonel. 


24  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  I  have  always  thought,"  said  the  Lieut.-Col., 
"  that  the  test  of  a  great  commander  was  his  ability 
to  follow  up  and  take  advantage  of  a  victory.  One 
thousand  men  from  the  ranks  would  bear  that  test 
triumphantly  to-day.  It  is  a  wonder  that  our  Union 
men  stiffened  in  yesterday's  fight,  whose  blue  jackets 
we  can  see  from  yonder  summit  in  the  rear  of  our 
sharpshooters,  do  not  rise  from  the  dead,  and  curse 
the  halting  imbecility  that  is  making  their  heroio 
struggles,  and  glorious  deaths,  seemingly  vain  sacri 
fices.^ 

"  Too  hard,  Colonel,  too  hard,"  says  the  Major. 

"  Too  hard  1  when  results  are  developing  before 
our  eyes,  so  that  every  servant,  even,  in  the  regiment 
can  read  them.  Mark  my  word  for  it,  Major;  Lee 
commenced  crossing  last  evening,  and  by  the  time 
we  creep  to  the  river  at  five  hundred  yards  a  day,  if 
at  all,  indeed,  he  will  have  his  army  over,  horse,  foot, 
and  dragoons,  and  leave  us  the  muskets  on  the  field, 
the  dead  to  bury,  farm-houses  fall  of  Rebel  wounded 
to  take  care  of,  and  the  battle-ground  to  encamp 
upon — a  victory  barely  worth  the  cost.  Why  not 
advance,  as  the  Col.  says.  The  worst  they  can  do 
in  any  event  is  to  put  us  upon  the  defensive,  and 
they  can't  drive  us  from  this  ground.' ' 

"  If  old  Rosecranz  was  only  here,"  sang  out  a 
Captain,  who  had  been  itching  for  his  say,  and  who 
had  seen  service  in  Western  Virginia,  "  he  wouldn't 
let  them  pull  their  pantaloons  and  shirts  off  and  swim 
across,  or  wade  it  as  if  they  were  going  out  a  bobbing 
for  eels.  When  I  was  in  Western  Virginia " 

"  If  fighting  old  Joe  Hooker  could  only  take  his 
saddle  to-day,"  chimed  in  an  enthusiastic  company 
officer,  completely  cutting  off  the  Captaiu,  "  he  d  go 
in  on  his  own  hook."  ^ 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  25 

"And  it  would  be,"  sang  out  a  beardless  and 
thoughtless  Lieutenant — 

"  Old  Joe,  kicking  up  ahind  and  afore 
And  the  Butternuts  a  caving  in,  around  old  Joe." 

The  apt  old  song  might  have  given  the  Lieutenant 
a  little  credit  at  any  other  time,  but  the  matter  in 
hand  was  too  provokingly  serious.  Coffee  and 
crackers  were  announced,  the  field  officers  commenced 
their  meal  in  silence,  and  the  company  officers 
returned  to  their  respective  quarters. 

The  troops  rested  on  their  arms  all  that  afternoon, 
at  times  lounging  close  to  the  stacks.  Upon  the  face 
of  every  reflecting  officer  and  private,  deep  mortifica 
tion  was  depicted.  It  did  not  compare,  however, 
with  the  chagrin  manifested  by  the  Volunteer  Regi 
ments  who  had  been  engaged  in  the  fight,  and  whose 
thinned  ranks  and  comrades  lost  made  them  closely 
calculate  consequences.  Not  last  among  the  reflect 
ing  class  was  our  little  Irish  corporal. 

u  Gineral,"  said  he,  advancing  cap  in  hand,  to  our 
always  accessible  Brigadier,  as  he  sat  leisurely  upon 
his  bay — "  Gineral !  will  you  permit  a  corporal,  and 
an  Irishman  at  that,  to  spake  a  word  to  ye  ?" 

"  Certainly,  corporal !"  the  fine  open  countenance 
of  the  General  relaxing-into  a  smile. 

"  Gineral !  didn't  we  beat  the  Rebs  yesterday  ?" 

"  So  they  say,  corporal." 

"  Don't  the  river  surround  them,  and  can  they 
cross  at  more  than  one  place,  and  that  a  bad  one,  as 
an  ould  woman  whose  pig  I  saved -to-day  tould  me  ?" 

"  The  river  is  on  their  three  sides,  and  they  have 
only  one  ford,  and  that  a  bad  one,  corporal." 

"  Thin  why  the  Divil  don't  we  charge  ?" 
2 


26  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  Corporal !"  said  the  G-eneral,  laughing,  "I  am  not 
in  command  of  the  army,  and  can't  say." 

"  Bad  luck  to  our  stars  that  ye  aren't,  Gineral ! 
there  would  be  somebody  hurt  to-day  thin,  and  it 
would  be  the  bluidy  Butthernuts,  I'm  thinking." 
The  corporal  gave  this  ready  compliment  as  only  an 
Irishman  can,  and  withdrew. 

At  dusk  orders  were  received  for  the  men  to  sleep 
by  their  arms.  But  there  was  no  sleep  to  many  an 
eye  until  a  late  hour  that  night.  Never  while  life 
lasts  will  survivors  forget  the  exciting  conversations 
of  that  day  and  night.  "  Tired  nature,"  however, 
claimed  her  dues,  and  one  by  one,  officers  and 
privates  at  late  hours  betook  themselves  to  their 
blankets.  The  stars,  undisturbed  by  struggles  on  this 
little  planet,  were  gazed  at  by  many  a  wakeful  eye. 
Those  same  stars  will  look  down  as  placidly  upon 
the  future  faithful  historian,  whose  duty  it  will  be  to 
place  first  in  the  list  of  cold,  costly  military  mistakes, 
the  blunder  of  the  day  after  the  battle  of  Antietam. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  2Y 


CHAPTER  III. 

Tlie  March  to  the  River — Our  Citizen  Soldiery — Popularity  of 
Commanders  how  Lost  and  how  Won — The  Rebel  Dead — How 
the  Rebels  repay  Courtesy. 

AN"  early  call  to  arms  was  sounded  upon  the  suc 
ceeding  morning,  and  the  Division  rapidly  form 
ed.  The  batteries  that  had  been  posted  at  command 
ing  points  upon  the  series  of  ridges  during  the  pre 
vious  day  and  night  were  withdrawn,  and  the  whole 
Corps  moved  along  a  narrow  road,  that  wound  beau 
tifully  among  the  ridges. 

The  Volunteer  Regiments  were  unusually  quiet ; 
the  thoughts  of  the  night  previous  evidently  lingered 
with  them.  The  American  Volunteer  is  no  mere 
machine.  Rigorous  discipline  will  give  him  soldierly 
characteristics — teach  him  that  unity  of  action  with 
his  comrades  and  implicit  obedience  of  orders  are 
essential  to  success.  But  his  independence  of  thought 
remains;  he  never  forgets  that  he  is  a  citizen  soldier; 
he  reads  and  reflects  for  himself.  Few  observant  offi 
cers  of  volunteers  but  have  noticed  that  affairs  of 
national  polity,  movements  of  military  commanders, 
are  not  unfrequently  discussed  by  men  in  blouses, 
about  camp  fires  and  picket  stations,  with  as  much 
practical  ability  and  certainly  quite  as  courteously,  as 
in  halls  where  legislators  canvass  them  at  a  nation's 


28  BED-TAPE   AHD 

cost.  It  has  been  justly  remarked  that  in  no  army  in 
the  world  is  the  average  standard  of  intelligence  so 
high,  as  in  the  American  volunteer  force.  The  same 
observation  might  be  extended  to  earnestness  of  pur 
pose  and  honesty  of  intention.  The  doctrine  has  long 
since  been  exploded  that  scoundrels  make  the  best 
soldiers.  Men  of  no  character  under  discipline  will 
fight,  but  they  fight  mechanically.  The  determination 
so  necessary  to  success  is  wanting.  European  serfs 
trained  with  the  precision  of  puppets,  and  like  puppets 
unthinking,  are  wanting  in  the  dash  that  characterizes 
our  volunteers.  That  creature  of  impulse  the  French 
man,  under  all  that  is  left  of  the  first  Napoleon,  the 
shadow  of  a  mighty  name,  will  charge  with  desperation, 
but  fails  in  the  cool  and  quiet  courage  so  essential  in 
seeming  forlorn  resistance.  In  what  other  nation  can 
you  combine  the  elements  of  the  American  volunteer? 
It  may  be  said  that  the  British  Volunteer  Kifle  Corps 
would  prove  a  force  of  similar  character.  In  many 
respects  undoubtedly  they  would ;  as  yet  there  is  no 
basis  of  comparison.  Their  soldierly  attainments  have 
not  been  tested  by  the  realities  of  war. 

There  was  ample  food  for  reflection.  On  the  neigh 
boring  hills  heavy  details  of  soldiers  were  gathering 
the  rebel  dead  in  piles  preparatory  to  committing  them 
to  the  trenches,  at  which  details  equally  heavy,  vigor 
ously  plied  the  pick  and  spade.  Our  own  dead,  with 
few  exceptions,  had  already  been  buried ;  and  the  long 
rows  of  graves  marked  by  head  and  foot  boards, 
placed  by  the  kind  hands  of  comrades,  attested  but 
too  sadly  how  heavily  we  had  peopled  the  ridges. 

While  the  troops  were  en  route,  the  Commander-in- 
Chief  in  his  hack  and  four,  followed  by  a  staff  impos 
ing  in  numbers,  passed.  The  Eegulars  cheered  voci 
ferously.  The  applause  from  the  Volunteers 


PIGEOX-HOLE   GENERALS.  29 

brief,  faint,  and  a  most  uncertain  sound,  and  yet  many 
of  these  same  Volunteer  Regiments  were  rapturous  in 
applause,  previous  to  and  during  the  battle.  Attach 
ment  to  Commanders  so  customary  among  old  troops 
— so  desirable  in  strengthening  the  morale  of  the 
army — cannot  blind  the  intelligent  soldier  to  a  grave 
mistake — a  mistake  that  makes  individual  effort  con 
temptible.  True,  a  great  European  Commander  has 
said  that  soldiers  will  become  attached  to  any  Gene 
ral  ;  a  remark  true  of  the  times  perhaps — true  of  the 
troops  of  that  day. — but  far  from  being  true  of  volun 
teers,  who  are  in  the  field  from  what  they  consider 
the  necessity  of  the  country,  and  whose  souls  are 
bent  upon  a  speedy,  honorable,  and  victorious  termi 
nation  of  the  war. 

A  glance  at  the  manner  in  which  our  Volunteer 
Regiments  are  most  frequently  formed,  will,  perhaps, 
best  illustrate  this.  A  town  meeting  is  called,  speech 
es  made  appealing  to  the  patriotic,  to  respond  to 
the  necessities  of  the  country ;  lists  opened  and  the 
names  of  mechanics,  young  attorneys,  clerks,  mer 
chants,  farmers'  sons,  dry-goods-men  and  their  clerks, 
and  others  of  different  pursuits,  follow  each  other  in 
strange  succession,  but  with  like  earnestness  of  pur 
pose.  An  intelligent  soldiery  gathered  in  this  way, 
will  not  let  attachments  to  men  blind  them  as  to  the 
effects  of  measures. 

About  10  A.  M.,  our  brigade  was  drawn  up  in  line 
of  battle  on  a  ridge  overlooking  the  well  riddled  little 
town  of  Sharpsburg.  Arms  were  stacked,  and  privilege 
given  many  officers  and  men  to  examine  the  adjacent 
ground.  A  cornfield  upon  our  right,  along  which 
upon  the  north  side  ran  a  narrow  farm  road,  that  long 
use  had  sunk  to  a  level  of  two  and  in  most  places 
three  feet,  below  the  surface  of  the  fields,  had  been 


30  RED-TAPE    AND 

contested  with,  unusual  fierceness.  Blue  and  grey  lay 
literally  with  arms  entwined  as  they  fell  in  hand  to 
hand  contest,  The  fence  rails  had  been  piled  upon 
the  north  side  of  the  road,  and  in  the  rifle  pit  formed 
to  their  hand  with  this  additional  bulwark,  they 
poured  the  most  galling  of  fires  with  comparative  im 
punity  upon  our  troops  advancing  to  the  charge.  A 
Union  battery,  however,  came  to  the  rescue,  and  an 
enfilading  fire  of  but  a  few  moments  made  havoc  un 
paralleled.  Along  the  whole  line  of  rebel  occupation, 
their  bodies  could  have  been  walked  upon,  so  closely 
did  they  lie.  Pale-faced,  finely  featured  boys  of  six 
teen,  their  delicate  hands  showing  no  signs  of  toil, 
hurried  by  a  misguided  enthusiasm  from  fond  friends 
and  luxurious  family  firesides,  contrasted  strangely 
with  the  long  black  hair,  lank  looks  of  the  Louisiana 
Tiger,  or  the  rough,  bloated,  and  bearded  face  of  the 
Backwoodsman  of  Texas.  A  Brigadier,  who  looked 
like  an  honest,  substantial  planter,  lay  half  over  the 
rails,  upon  which  he  had  doubtless  stood  encouraging 
his  men,  while  lying  half  upon  his  body  were  two  beard 
less  boys,  members  of  his  staff,  and  not  unlikely  of  his 
family.  Perhaps  all  the  male  members  of  that  family 
had  been  hurried  at  once  from  life  by  that  single  shell. 
The  sight  was  sickening.  Who,  if  privileged,  would  be 
willing  to  fix  a  limit  to  God's  retributive  justice  upon 
the  heads  of  the  infamous,  and  in  many  instances 
cowardly  originators  of  this  Rebellion ! 

Cavalry  scouting  parties  brought  back  the  word 
that  the  country  to  the  river  was  clear  of  the  rebels, 
and  in  accordance  with  what  seemed  to  be  the  pre 
vailing  policy  of  the  master-mind  of  the  campaign, 
immediate  orders  to  move  were  then  issued.  The 
troops  marched  through  that  village  of  hospitals, — 
Sharpsburg — and  halted  within  a  mile  and  a  half  of 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  31 

the  river,  in  the  rear  of  a  brick  dwelling,  which  was 
then  taken  and  subsequently  used  as  the  Head-Quar 
ters  of  Major-General  Fitz  John  Porter.  A  line  of 
battle  was  again  formed,  arms  stacked,  and  an  order 
issued  that  the  ground  would  be  occupied  during  the 
night. 

In  the  morning  the  march  was  again  resumed  by 
a  road  which  wound  around  the  horseshoe-shaped 
bend  in  the  river.  When  approaching  the  river, 
firing  was  heard,  apparently  as  if  from  the  other  side, 
and  a  short  distance  further  details  were  observed 
carrying  wounded  men  and  ranging  them  comforta 
bly  around  the  many  hay  and  straw  stacks  of  the 
neighborhood.  Inquiry  revealed  that  a  reconnoi 
tring  party,  misled  by  the  apparent  quiet  of  the  other 
side,  had  crossed,  fallen  into  an  ambuscade,  and  under 
the  most  galling  of  fires,  artillery  and  musketry,  kept 
up  most  unmercifully  by  the  advancing  rebels,  who 
thus  ungraciously  repaid  the  courtesy  shown  them  the 
day  after  Antietam — had  been  compelled  to  recross 
that  most  difficult  ford.  Our  loss  was  frightful — one 
new  and  most  promising  regiment  was  almost  entirely 
destroyed. 

The  men  thought  of  the  dead  earnestness  of  the 
rebels,  and  as  they  moved  forward  around  the  wind 
ing  Potomac — deep,  full  of  shelving,  sunken  rocks, 
from  the  dam  a  short  distance  above  the  ford,  that 
formerly  fed  the  mill  owned  by  a  once  favorably 
known  Congressman,  A.  K.  Boteler,  to  where  it  wa's 
touched  by  our  line — they  reviewed  with  redoubled 
force,  the  helplessness  of  the  rebels  a  few  days  pre 
viously,  and  to  say  the  least,  the  carelessness  of  the 
leader  of  the  Union  army. 

The  regimental  camp  was  selected  in  a  fine  little 
valley  that  narrowed  into  a  gap  between  the  bluffs, 


32  BED-TAPE   Ain> 

bordering  upon  the  canal,  sheltered  by  wood,  and  hav 
ing  every  convenience  of  water.  The  rebels  had  used  it 
but  a  few  days  previously,  and  the  necessity  was  im 
mediate  for  heavy  details  for  police  duty.  And  here 
we  passed  quite  unexpectedly  six  weeks  of  days  more 
pleasant  to  the  men  than  profitable  to  the  country, 
and  of  which  something  may  be  said  in  our  two  suc 
ceeding  chapters. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENEliALS.  33 


CHAPTER  IV. 

A  Regimental  Baker — Hot  Pies — Position  of  the  Baker  in  line  of 
Battle  — Troubles  of  the  Baker — A  Western  Virginia  Captain 
on  a  Whiskey  Scent — The  Baker  s  Story — How  to  obtain  Poli 
tical  Influence — Dancing  Attendance  at  Washington —  What 
Simon  says — Confiscation  of  Whiskey. 

BESIDES  the  indispen sables  of  quartermaster  and 
sutler  the  210th  had  what  might  be  considered 
a  luxury  in  the  shape  of  a  baker,  who  had  volunteered 
to  accompany  the  regiment,  and  furnish  hot  cakes, 
bread,  and  pfes.  Tom  Hudson  was  an  original  in  his 
way,  rather  short  of  stature,  far  plumper  and  more 
savory-looking  than  one  of  his  pies,  with  a  pleasing 
countenance  and  twinkling  black  eye,  that  meant 
humor  or  roguishness  as  circumstances  might  demand, 
and  a  never-ending  supply  of  what  is  always  popular, 
dry  humor.  He  was  just  the  man  to  manage  the  thou 
sand  caprices  of  appetite  of  a  thousand  different  men. 
While  in  camps  accessible  to  the  cities  of  Washing 
ton  and  Alexandria,  matters  moved  smoothly  enough. 
His  zinc-plated  bakery  was  always  kept  fired  up,  and 
a  constant  supply  of  hot  pies  dealt  out  to  the  long 
strings  of  men,  who  would  stand  for  hours  anxiously 
awaiting  their  turn.  A  movement  of  the  baker's 
interpreted  differently  by  himself  and  the  men,  at  one 
time  created  considerable  talk  and  no*  little  feeling. 

2* 


34  RED-TAPE   AND 

On  several  occasions  the  trays  were  lifted  out  of  the 
oven,  and  the  pies  dashed  upon  the  outspread  expect 
ant  hands,  with  such  force  as  to  break  the  too  often 
half-baked  undercrust.  In  consequence  the  juices 
would  ooze  out,  trickle  scalding  hot  between  the  fin 
gers,  and  compel  the  helpless  man  to  drop  the  pie. 
One  unfortunate  fellow  lost  four  pies  in  succession.  As 
they  cost  fifteen  cents  apiece,  the  pocket  was  too 
much  interested  to  let  the  matter  escape  notice.  A 
non-commissioned  officer,  who  had  lost  a  pie,  savagely 
returned  to  the  stand,  and  demanded  another  pie  or 
his  money.  The  baker  was  much  too  shrewd  for  that. 
The  precedent,  if  set,  would  well  nigh  exhaust  his 
stock  of  pies,  and  impoverish  his  cash  drawer. 

"  I  say,"  said  the  officer,  turning  to  the  men,  "  it  is  a 
trick.  He  wants  to  sell  as  many  pies  as  he  can.  He 
knows  well  enough  that  when  one  falls  in  this  mud 
fifteen  cents  are  gone  slap." 

"  Now,  boys,"  said  the  baker  blandly,  "  you  know 
me  better  than  that.  I'd  scorn  to  do  an  act  of  that 
kind  for  fifteen  cents.  You  know  how  it  is — what  a 
rush  there  always  is  here.  You  want  the  pies  as  soon 
as  baked,  and  baking  makes  them  hot.  Now  I  want 
to  accommodate  you  all  as  soon  as  possible,  and  of 
course  I  serve  them  out  as  soon  as  baked.  You  had 
better  all  get  tin-plates  or  boards." 

"  That  won't  go  down,  old  fellow,"  retorted  the 
officer.  "  You  know  that  there  is  hardly  a  tin-plate  in 
camp,  and  boards  are  not  to  be  had." 

A  wink  from  the  baker  took  the  officer  to  the  pri 
vate  passage  in  the  rear  of  his  tent.  What  happened 
there  is  known  but  to  the  two,  but  ever  after  the  offi 
cer  held  his  peace.  Not  so  with  the  men.  However, 
as  the  pies  were  not  dealt  out  as  hot  in  future,  the  mat 
ter  gradually  "passed  from  their  minds. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  35 

To  make  himself  popular  with  the  men,  Tom  re 
sorted  to  a  variety  of  expedients,  one  of  which  was 
to  assure  them  that  in  case  of  an  enterprise  that  pro 
mised  danger,  he  would  be  with  them.  He  was  taken 
up  quite  unexpectedly.  An  ammunition  train  on  the 
morning  of  the  second  battle  of  Bull  Kun,  bound  to 
the  field,  required  a  convoy.  The  regiment  was  de 
tailed.  Tom's  assertions  had  come  to  the  ears  of 
the  regimental  officers,  and  without  being  consulted, 
he  was  provided  with  a  horse,  and  told  to  keep  near 
the  Adjutant.  There  was  a  drizzling  rain  all  day 
long,  but  through  it  came  continually  the  booming  of 
heavy  ordnance. 

"  Colonel !  how  far  do  you  suppose  that  firing  is  ?" 
"And  are  they  Rebel  cannon?"  were  frequent  in 
quiries  made  by  Tom  during  the  day.  About  noon, 
he  asserted  that  he  could  positively  ride  no  further. 
But  ride  he* must  and  ride  he  did.  The  Regiment 
halted  near  Centreville,  having  passed  Porter's  Corps 
on  the  way  and  convoyed  the  Train  to  the  required 
point.  After  a  shorj;  halt  the  homeward  route  was 
taken  and  Tom  placed  in  the  rear.  By  some  accident, 
frequent  when  trains  take  up  the  road,  he  became 
separated  from  the  .Regiment  and  lost  among  the  teams. 
The  Regiment  moved  on,  and  as  it  was  now  growing 
dark,  turned  into  a  wood  about  half  a  mile  distant,  for 
the  night.  Tom  had  just  learned  his  route,  when 
"  ping  !"  came  a  shell  from  a  Rebel  battery  on  a  hill 
to  the  left,  exploded  among  some  team  horses,  and 
created  awful  confusion.  He  suddenly  forgot  his 
soreness,  and  putting  spurs  to  his  horse  at  a  John 
Gilpin  speed,  rode  by,  through  and  over,  as  he  after 
wards  said,  the  teams.  The  shells  flew  rapidly.  Tom 
dodged  as  if  every  one  was  scorching  his  hair,  at  the 
same  time  giving  a  vigorous  kick  to  the  rear  with 


36  EED-TAPE    AND 

both  heels.  At  his  speed  he  was  soon  by  the  teams ; 
in  fact  did  not  stop  until  he  was  ten  Virginia  miles 
from  that  scene  of  terror.  But  we  will  meet  him  again 
in  the  morning. 

The  Eegiment  was  soon  shelled  out  of  the  wood, 
and  compelled  to  continue  its  march.  Three  miles 
further  they  encamped  in  a  meadow,  passed  a  wet 
night  without  shelter,  and  early  next  morning  were 
again  upon  the  road.  Thousands  of  stragglers  lined 
the  way,  living  upon  rations  plundered  from  broken- 
down  baggage  wagons — lounging  lazily  around  fires 
that  were  kept  in  good  glow  by  rails  from  the  fences 
near  which  they  were  built.  The  preceding  day  these 
stragglers  and  skulkers  were  met  in  squads  at  every 
step  of  the  road.  At  a  point  sufficiently  remote  from 
danger,  their  camps  commenced.  In  one  of  these 
camps,  situated  in  a  fence  corner,  the  baker  was  espied, 
stretched  at  full  length  and  fast  asleep,  upon  two  rails 
placed  at  a  gentle  slope  at  right  angles  to  the  fence. 
Surrounding  him  were  filthy,  mean-looking  represen 
tatives  of  half-a-dozen  various  regiments — the  Zouave 
more  gay  than  gallant  in  flaming  red  breeches — 
blouses,  dress  coats,  and  even  a  pair  of  shoulder  straps, 
assisted  to  complete  the  crowd.  Near  by  was  tied  his 
jaded  horse. 

The  baker  was  awakened.  To  his  surprise,  as  he 
said,  he  saw  the  regiment,  as  he  had  supposed  them  to 
be  much  nearer  hoine  than  himself.  One  of  his 
graceless  comrades,  however,  bluntly  contradicted 
this,  and  accused  him  of  being  mortally  frightened 
when  he  halted  the  night  before,  as  although  they 
assured  him  that  he  was  full  ten  miles  from  danger, 
he  insisted  that  these  rifled  guns  had  terribly  long 
range.  The  baker  remonstrated,  and  quietly  resumed 
his  place  by  the  Adjutant  and  Colonel. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENEKALS.  37 

"  I  have  been  thinking,  Colonel,"  said  he,  in  the 
course  of  a  half  hour,  riding  alongside  of  the  Colonel, 
and  speaking  in  an  undertone,  "  that  I  ran  a  great 
risk  unnecessarily." 

"  Why  ?  "  asked  the  Colonel. 

"  You  see  my  exhortations  are  worth  far  more  to 
the  men  than  my  example.  When  they  crowd  my 
quarters,  as  they  do  every  morning,  I  never  fail 
to  deal  out  patriotic  precepts  with  my  pies." 

"Bnt  particularly  the  pies,"  retorted  the  Colonel. 

"  That  is  another  branch  of  my  case,"  slily  con 
tinued  the  baker.  "  Suppose,  if  such  a  calamity  can  be 
dwelt  upon,  that  I  had  been  killed,  and  there  was  only 
one  mule  between  me  and  death,  who  would  have 
run  my  bakery  ?  who,"  elevating  his  voice,  "  would 
have  furnished  hot  rolls  for  the  officers,  and  warm 
bread  cakes  and  pies  for  the  men  ?  Eiding  along  last 
night,  these  matters  were  all  duly  reflected  upon,  and 
I  wound  up,  by  deciding  that  the  regiment  could  not 
afford  to  lose  me." 

"  But  you  managed  to  lose  the  regiment,"  replied 
the  Colonel. 

"  Pure  accident  that,  I  assure  you,  upon  honor. 
Now  in  line  of  battle  I  have  taken  pains  to  ascertain 
my  true  position,  but  this  confounded  marching  by 
the  flank  puts  me  out  of  sorts.  In  line  of  battle  the 
quartermaster  says  he  is  four  miles  in  the  rear — the 
sutler  says  that  he  is  four  miles  behind  the  quartermas 
ter,  and  as  it  would  look  singular  upon  paper  to  short 
en  the  distance  for  the  baker,  besides-other  good  rea 
sons,  I  suppose  I  am  four  miles  behind  the  sutler." 

"Completely  out  of  range  for  all  purposes,"  ob 
served  the  Adjutant,  who  had  slily  listened  with 
interest. 

"  There  is  a  good  reason  for  that  position,  it  is  well 


88  BED-TAPE   AND 

chosen,  and  shows  foresight,"  continued  the  baker, 
dropping  his  rein,  and  enforcing  his  remarks  by  apt 
gestures.  "  Suppose  we  are  in  line  of  battle,  and  the 
Rebels  in  line  facing  us  at  easy  rifle  range.  Their 
prisoners  say  that  they  have  lived  for  a  month  past 
on  roasted  corn  and  green  apples.  Now  what  will 
equal  the  daring  of  a  hungry  man !  These  Kebel 
Commanders  are  shrewd  in  keeping  their  men  hun 
gry  ;  our  men  have  heart  for  the  fight,  it  is  true,  but 
the  rebels  have  a  stomach  for  it — they  hunger  for  a 
chance  at  the  spoils.  The  quartermaster  then  with 
his  crackers,  as  they  must  not  be  needlessly  inflamed, 
must  be  kept  out  of  sight — the  sutler,  too,  with  his 
stores,  must  be  kept  shady — but  above  all  the  baker. 
Suppose  the  baker  to  be  nearer,"  said  he,  with  increased 
earnestness,  "  and  a  breeze  should  spring  up  towards 
their  lines  bearing  with  it  the  smell  of  warm  bread, 
the  rebels  would  rise  instanter  on  tiptoe,  snuff  a 
minute — concentrate  on  the  bakery,  and  no  two  ranks 
or  columns  doubled  on  the  centre,  could  keep  the 
hungry  devils  back.  Our  line  pierced,  we  might  lose 
the  day — lose  the  day,  sir." 

"  And  the  baker,"  said  the  Major,  joining  in  tHe 
laugh  caused  by  his  argument. 

Shortly  after  that  march,  matters  went  indifferently 
with  the  baker.  Camp  was  changed  frequently,  and 
over  the  rough  roads  he  kept  up  with  difficulty. 

A  week  after  the  battle  of  Antietam,  after  satisfy 
ing  himself  fully  of  the  departure  of  the  Eebels,  he 
arrived  in  camp.  He  had  picked  up  by  the  way  an 
ill-favored-  assistant,  whose  tent  stood  on  the  hill  side 
some  little  distance  from  the  right  flank  of  the  regi 
ment. 

Two  nights  after  his  arrival  there  was  a  commotion 
in  camp.  A  tonguey  corporal,  slightly  under  regula- 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  39 

tion  size,  in  an  exuberance  of  spirits,  had  mounted  a 
cracker-box  almost  immediately  in  front  of  the  sut 
ler's  tent,  and  commenced  a  lively  harangue.  He 
told  how  he  had  left  a  profitable  grocery  business  to 
serve  his  country — his  pecuniary  sacrifices — but  above 
all,  the  family  he  had  left  behind. 

"  And  you've  blissed  them  by  taking  your  charac- 
ther  with 'you, "  chimed  in  the  little  Irish,  corporal. 

"  Where  did  you  steal  your  whiskey  ?"  demanded 
a  second. 

The  confusion  increased,  the  crowd  was  dispersed 
by  the  guard,  all  at  the  expense  of  the  sutler's  credit, 
as  it  was  rumored  that  he  had  furnished  the  stimu 
lant. 

The  sutler  indignantly  demanded  an  investigation, 
and  three  officers,  presumed  to  possess  a  scent  for 
whiskey  above  their  fellows,  were  detailed  for  the 
duty.  One  of  these  was  our  friend  the  Virginia  cap 
tain. 

Under  penalty  of  losing  his  stripes,  the  corporal 
confessed  that  he  had  obtained  the  liquor  at  the 
baker's.  Thither  the  following  evening  the  detail 
repaired.  The  assistant  denied  all  knowledge  of  the 
liquor.  He  was  confronted  with  the  corporal,  and 
admitted  the  charge,  and  that  but  three  bottles 
remained. 

"  By ,"  said  our  Western  Virginia  captain, 

hands  in  pocket,  "  I  smell  ten  more.  There  are  just 
thirteen  bottles  or  I'll  lose  my  straps." 

The  confidence  of  the  captain  impressed  the  detail, 
and  they  went  to  work  with  a  will — emptying  bar 
rels  of  crackers,  probing  with  a  bayonet  sacks  of 
flour,  &c.  A  short  search,  to  the  pretended  amaze 
ment  of  the  assistant,  proved  the  correctness  of  the 
captain's  scent.  The  baker  was  sent  for,  and  with 


40  RED-TAPE   AND 

indignant  manner  and  hands  lifted  in  holy  horror,  he 
poured  volley  after  volley  of  invective  at  the  con 
founded  assistant. 

"But,  gentlemen,"  said  the  baker,  dropping  his 
tone,  "I've  known  worse  things  than  this  to  happen. 
I've  known  even  bakers  to  get  tight." 

"  And  your  bacon  would  have  stood  a  better 
chance  of  being  saved  if  you  had  got  tight,  instead  of 
putting  a  non-commissioned  officer  in  that  condition," 
said  one  of  the  detail.  "  The  Colonel,  I  am  afraid, 
Tom,  will  clear  you  out." 

"  Well,"  sighed  the  baker,  after  a  pause  of  a 
moment,  "  talk  about  Job  and  all  the  other  unfortu 
nates  since  his  day,  why  not  one  of  them  had  my 
variety  of  suffering.  Did  you  ever  hear  any  of  my 
misfortunes  ?" 

"  We  see  one." 

"  My  life  has  been  a  series  of  mishaps.  I  prosper 
occasional^  in  small  things,  but  totals  knock  me. 
God  help  me  if  I  hadn't  a  sure  port  in  a  storm — a 
self-supporting  wife.  For  instance — but  I  can't  com 
mence  that  story  without  relieving  my  thirst."  A 
bottle  was  opened,  drinks  had  all  around,  and  the 
baker  continued — 

"  You  see,  gentlemen,  when  Simon  was  in  political 
power,  I  waggled  successfully  and  extensively  among 
the  coal  mines  in  Central  Pennsylvania.  In  those  local 
ities  voters  are  kept  underground  until  election  day, 
and  they  then  appear  above  often  in  such  unexpected 
force  as  to  knock  the  speculations  of  unsophisticated 
politicians.  But  Simon  was  not  one  of  that  stripe. 
He  knew  his  men — the  real  men  of  influence ;  not 
men  that  have  big  reputations  created  by  active  but 
less  widely  known  under-workers,  but  the  under- 
workers  themselves.  Simon  dealt  with  these,  and  he 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  41 

rarely  mistook  his  men.  Now  I  was  well  known  in 
those  parts — kept  on  the  right  side  of  the  boys,  and 
the  boys  tried  to  keep  on  the  right  side  of  me,  and 
Simon  knew  it.  No  red  tape  fettered  Simon,  as  the 
boys  say  it  tied  our  generals  the  other  side  of  Sharps- 
burg  in  order  to  let  the  Rebs  have  time  to  cross.  If 
the  measures  that  his  shrewd  foresight  saw  were  ne 
cessary  for  the  suppression  of  this  Rebellion,  at  its 
outbreak,  had  been  adopted,  we  would  be  encamped 
somewhat  lower  down  in  Dixie  than  the  Upper  Poto 
mac — if  indeed  there  wo  aid  be  any  necessity  for  our 
being  in  service  at  all. 

"  He  was  not  a  man  of  old  tracks,  like  a  ground  mole ; 
indeed  like  some  military  commanders  who  seem 
lost  outside  of  them*  but  of  ready  resources  and 
direct  routes,  gathering  influence  now  by  one  means 
and  then  by  another,  and  perhaps  both  novel,  Now 
Simon  set  me  at  work  in  this  wise. 

" ;  Tom,'  one  morning,  says  aa  old  and  respected 
citizen  of  our  place,  who  Knew  my  father  and  my 
father's  father,  and  me  as  an  unlucky  dog  from  my 
cradle,  l  Tom,  did  ever  any  idea  of  getting  a  perma 
nent  and  profitable  position — say,  as  you  are  an  excel 
lent  penman — as  clerk  in  one  of  the  departments  at 
Harrisburg  or  Washington,  enter  your  head  ?' 

"  At  this  I  straightened  up,  drew  up  my  shirt  collar, 
pulled  down  my  vest,  and  said  with  a  sort  of  hopeful* 
inquiry,  *  Why  should  there  ?' 

"  *  Tom,  you  are  wasting  your  most  available  talent. 
Do  you  know  that  you  have  influence — and  political 
influence  at  that  ?' 

"Another  hitch  at  my  shirt  collar  and  pull  at  my 
vest,  as  visions  of  the  Brick  Capitol  at  Harrisburg 
and  the  White  one  at  Washington  danced  before  my 
eyes. 


42  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  '  Did  you  ever  reflect,  Tom,  upon  the  source  of 
political  power?'  continued  the  old  gentleman,  and 
without  waiting  for  an  answer,  fortunately,  as  I  was 
fast  becoming  dumbfoundered,  '  the  people,  Tom,  the 
people ;  not  you  and  I,  so  much  as  that  miner,'  said 
he,  pointing  to  a  rough  ugly-looking  fellow  that  I  had 
kicked  out  of  my  wife's  bar-room — or,  rather,  got  my 
ostler  to  do  it — two  nights  before,  '  That  man,  Tom, 
is  a  representative  of  thousands ;  we  may  represent 
but  ourselves.  Now  these  people  are  controlled. 
They  neither  think  nor  act  for  themselves,  as  a  general 
rule;  somebody  does  that  for  them.  Now,'  as  he  spoke, 
trying  to  take  me  by  a  pulled-out  button-hole,  '  you 
might  as  well  be  that  somebody  as  any  man  I  know.' 

"  'Why,  Lord  bless  you,  Mr.  Simpson,  I  can't  do  my 
own  thinking,  and  as  to  acting,  my  wife  says  I  am, 
acting  the  fool  all  day  long.' 

"  '  Tom,  you  don't  comprehend  me,  you  know  our 
county  sends  three  members  to  the  State  Legislature, 
and  that  they  elect  a  United  States  Senator.' 

"'Yes.' 

"  *  Well,  now,  our  county  can  send  Simon  C 

to  the  United  States  Senate.' 

"  '  But  our  county  oughtn't  to  do  it,' — my  whig  pre 
judices  that  I  had  imbibed  with  my  mother's  milk 
coming  up  strong. 

"  '  Tut,  tut,  Tom,  didn't  I  stand  shoulder  to  shoulder 
with  your  father  in  the  old  Clay  Legion?  Whiggery 
has  had  its  day,  and  Henry  Clay  would  stand  with  us 
now.' 

'"But  with  Simon's?' 

"  '  Yes,  Simon's  principles  have  undergone  a  whole 
some  change.' 

"  I  couldn't  see  it,  but  didn't  like  to  contradict  the 
old  man,  and  he  continued. 


•PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  43 

"  '  Now,  Thomas,  be  a  man ;  you  have  influence.  I 
know  you  have  it.'  Here  I  straightened  up  again. 
1  Just  look  at  the  miners  who  frequent  your  hotel, 
each  of  them  has  influence,  and  don't  you  think  that 
you  could  control  their  votes  ?  Should  you  succeed, 
Simon's  Scotch  blood  will  never  let  him  forget  a  friend.' 

"  *  Or  forgive  an  enemy,'  I  added. 

"  *  Tom,  don't  let  your  foolish  prejudices  stand  in 
the  way  of  your  success.  Your  lather  would  advise 
as  I  do.' 

"  '  Mr.  S.,  I'll  try.' 

"  '  That's  the  word,  Tom,'  said  the  old  man,  patting 
me  on  the  shoulder.  'It  runs  our  steam-engines, 
builds  our  factories,  in  short,  has  made  our  country 
what  it  is.' 

u  I  took  Mr.  S.'s  hand,  thanked  him  for  his  sugges 
tions,  with  an  effort  swallowed  my  prejudices 
against  the  old  Chieftain,  and  resolved  to  work  as 
became  my  new  idea  of  my  position. 

"By  the  way,  the  recollection  of  that  effort  to  swal 
low  makes  my  throat  dry,  and  it's  a  long  time  between 
drinks." 

Another  round  at  the  bottle,  and  Tom  resumed. 

"  *  Well,  work  I  did,  like  a  beaver ;  there  wasn't  a 
miner  in  my  neighborhood  that  I  didn't  treat,  and  a 
miner's  loaby  that  I  didn't  kiss,  and  often  their  wives, 
as  some  unprincipled  scoundrel  one  day  told  Mrs. 
Hudson,  to  the  great  injury  of  my  ears  and  shins 
for  almost  a  week,  and  the  upshot  of  the  business 
was,  that  my  township  turned  a  political  somerset. 
Friends  of  Simon's,  in  disguise,  went  to  Harrisburg, 
were  successful,  and  I  was  not  among  the  last  to  con 
gratulate  him. 

"  '  Mr.  Hudson,'  said  the  Prince  of  politicians,  *  how 
can  I  repay  you  for  your  services  ?' 


44  BED-TAPE   AND 

"Like  a  fool,  as  my  wife  always  told  me  I  was,  I 
made  no  suggestion,  but  let  the  remark  pass  with  the 
tameness  of  a  sheep — merely  muttering  that  it  was  a 
pleasure  to  serve  him.  Simon  went  to  Washington 
— made  no  striking  hits  on  the  floor,  but  was  great  on 
committees. 

"  Another  idea  entered  my  noddle,  this  clip  without 
the  aid  of  Mr.  S.  My  penmanship  came  into  play. 
Days  and  nights  of  most  laborious  work  produced  a 
full  length  portrait  of  Simon,  that  at  the  distance  of 
ten  feet  could  not  be  distinguished  from  a  fine  en 
graving.  I  seized  my  opportunity,  found  Simon  in 
cozy  quarters  opposite  Willard's,  and  presented  it  in 
person.  He  was  delighted — his  daughter  was  de- 
"  lighted — a  full-faced  heavily  bearded  Congressman 
present  was  delighted,  and  after  repeated  assuran 
ces  of  *  thine  to  serve,'  on  the  part  of  the  Senator,'  I 
crossed  to  my  hotel — not  Willard's — hadn't  as  yet 
sufficient  elevation  of  person  and  depth  of  purse  for 
that, — but  an  humbler  one  in  a  back  street.  Next 
day  I  saw  my  handiwork  in  the  Kotunda — the  admi 
ration  of  all  but  a  black  long-haired  puppy,  an  M.  C. 
and  F.  F.  V.,  as  I  afterwards  learned,  who  said  to 
a  lady  at  his  elbow  who  had  admired  it,  "  Practice 
makes  some  of  the  poor  clerks  at  the  North  tolerably 
good  pensmen."  I  could  have  kicked  him,  but  thought 
it  might  interfere  with  the  little  matter  in  hand. 

"  i  Tom,'  said  the  senatorial  star  of  my  hopes  one 
day,  when  my  purse  had  become  as  lean  as  a  June 
shad,  *  Tom,  there  is  'a  place  of  $800  a  year,  I  have 
in  view.  A  Senator  is  interfering,  but  I  think  it  can 
be  managed.  You  must  have  patience,  these  things 
take  time.  I  will  write  to  you  as  early  as  any  definite 
result  is  attained.' 

"  Belying  on  Simon's  management,  which  in  his  own 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  45 

case  had  never  failed,  next  morning  saw  me  in  the 
cars  with  light  heart  and  lighter  purse,  bound  for 
home  and  Mrs.  H.,  who  I  am  always  proud  to  think 
regretted  my  absence  more  than  my  presence,  al 
though  she  would  not  admit  it. 

"  Days  passed ;  months  passed ;  my  wife  reproached 
me  with  lost  time — my  picture  was  gone ;  I  had  not 
heard  from  Simon ;  I  ventured  to  write ;  next  mail 
brought  a  letter  rich  in  indefinite  promises. 

"  Years  passed,  and  Simon  was  Secretary  of  War  at 
a  time  when  the  office  had  influence,  position,  and  pa 
tronage,  unequalled  in  its  previous  history.  'Now  is 
your  time,  Tom,'  something  within  whispered — not 
conscience — for  that  did  not  seem  to  favor  my  con 
nection  with  Simon. 

"  I  wrote  again.  Quartermasters,  Clerks  by  the 
thousands,  Paymasters — I  was  always  remarkably 
ready  in  disposing  of  funds — and  Heaven  only 
knows  what  not  were  wanted  in  alarming  num 
bers.  Active  service  was  proposed  by  Simon ; 
but  you  know,  gentlemen,  I  am  constitutionally  dis 
qualified  for  that.  And  after  tediously  waiting 
months  longer,  I  succeeded  without  Simon's  aid  in 
obtaining  my  present  honorable  but  unfortunate 
position. 

"  And  that  reminds  me  of  the  whiskey,  another 
round,  men/'  It  was  taken  ;  Tom's  idea  was  to 
drink  the  detail  into  forgetfulness  of  their  errand. 
But  he  missed  his  men.  He  might  as  well  have 
tried  to  lessen  a  sponge  by  soaking  it.  The  Virginia 
Captain  announced  that  the  Colonel  had  ordered  them 
to  confiscate  the^whiskey  for  the  use  of  the  Hospital, 
and  to  the  Surgeon's  quarters  the  detail  must  next 
proceed.  The  Captain  gathered  up  the  bottles.  The 
detail  bowed  themselves  out  of  the  tent,  and  poor 


46  BED-TAPE   AND 

Tom  thought  his  misfortunes  crowned,  as  he  saw 
them  leave  labouring  under  a  load  of  liquor  inside 
and  out.  At  the  Surgeon's  tent  we  will  again  see 
them. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  47 


CHAPTER  V. 

The  Scene  at  the  Surgeon's  Quarters  —  Our  Little  Dutch  Doctor 
—  Incidents  of  his  Practice  —  His  Messmate  the  Chaplain  — 
The  Western  Virginia  Captain's  account  of  a  Western  Vir 
ginia  Chaplain  —  His  Solitary  oath  —  How  he  preached,  how 
he  prayed,  and  how  he  Bush-whacked  —  His  revenge  of  Snow- 
den's  death  —  How  the  little  Dutch  Doctor  applied  the  Captain's 
Story. 


had  already  been  sounded  before  the  detail 
JL    arrived  at  the  Surgeon's  tent.  The  only  Surgeon 
present  had  retired  to  his  blankets.    Aroused  by  the 
blustering,  he  soon  lit  a  candle,  and  sticking  the  camp 
candlestick  into  the  ground,  invited  them  in. 

And  here  we  must  introduce  the  Assistant-Surgeon, 
or  rather  the  little  Dutch  Doctor  as  he  was  familiarly 
called  by  the  men.  Considering  his  character  and  early 
connexion  with  the  regiment,  we  are  at  fault  in  not 
giving  him  an  earlier  place  in  these  pages. 

The  Doctor  was  about  five  feet  two  in  height,  hard 
ly  less  in  circumference  about  the  waist,  of  an  active 
habit  of  body  and  turn  of  mind,  eyes  that  winked 
rapidly  when  he  was  excited,  and  a  movable  scalp 
which  threw  his  forehead  into  multiform  wrinkles  as 
cogitations  beneath  it  might  demand.  A  Tyrolese  by 
birth,  he  was  fond  of  his  Father-land,  its  mountain 
songs,  and  the  customs  of  its  people.  Topics  kindred 


48  BED-TAPE   AND 

to  these  were  an  unfailing  fund  of  conversation  with 
him.  Thoroughly  educated,  his  conversation  in  badly 
broken  English,  for  he  made  little  progress  in  ac 
quiring  the  language,  at  once  amused  and  instructed. 
Among  his  fellow  surgeons. and  officers  of  his  ac 
quaintance,  he  ranked  high  as  a  skilful  surgeon  on 
account  of  superior  attainments,  acquired  partly 
through  the  German  Universities  and  partly  in  the 
Austrian  service,  during  the  campaign  of  Magenta, 
Solferino,  and  the  siege  of  Mantua.  "With  a  Ger 
man's  fondness  for  music,  he  beguiled  the  tedium  of 
many  a  long  winter  evening.  With  his  German 
education  he  had  imbibed  radicalism  to  its  full  extent. 
Thoroughly  conversant  with  the  Sacred  Scriptures 
he  was  a  doubter,  if  n6t  a  positive  unbeliever,  from  the 
Pentateuch  to  Revelation.  In  addition  to  this,  his 
flings  at  the  Chaplain,  his  messmate,  made  him  un 
popular  with  the  religiously  inclined  of  the  regiment. 
He  had  besides,  the  stolidity  of  the  German,  and  their 
cool  calculating  practicalism.  This  did  not  always 
please  the  men.  They  thought  him  unfeeling. 

"  What  for  you  shrug  your  shoulders  ?'  said  he  on 
one  occasion  to  a  man  from  whose  shoulders  he  was 
removing  a  large  fly  blister. 

"  It  hurts." 

"  Bah,  wait  till  I  cuts  your  leg  off— and  you  know 
what  hurts." 

"  Here,  you  sick  man,  here  goot  place,"  said  he, 
addressing  a  man  just  taken  to  the  hospital  with  fever, 
in  charge  of  an  orderly  sergeant,  at  surgeon's  call, 
"  goot  place,  nice,  warm,  dead  man  shust  left."  Re 
marks  such  as  these  did  not,  of  course,  tend  to  increase 
the  comfort  of  the  men  ;  they  soon  circulated  among 
the  regiment,  were  discussed  in  quarters,  and  as  may 
be  supposed  greatly  exaggerated,  and  all  at  the  Doc- 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  49 

tor's  cost.  But  the  Doctor  pursued  the  even  tenor  of 
his  way,  entirely  unmindful  of  them. 

About  the  time  of  which  we  write,  a  clever,  honest 
man  died  of  a  disease  always  sudden  in  its  termination, 
rheumatic  attack  upon  the  heart  The  Doctor  had 
informed  him  fully  of  his  -disease,  and  that  but  little 
could  be  done  for  it.  The  poor  man,  however,  was 
punctual  in  attendance  at  Surgeon's  Call,  and  insisted 
upon  some  kind  of  medicine.  Bread  pills  were  fur 
nished.  One  morning,  after  great  complaint  of  pain 
about  the  heart,  and  a  few  spasms,  he  died.  His  com 
rades,  shocked,  thought  his  death  the  effect  of  improper 
medicine.  The  Doctor's  pride  was  touched.  He  in 
sisted  upon  calling  in  other  surgeons;  the  pills  found 
in  his  pocket  were  analyzed,  and  discovered  to  be 
only  bread.  The  corpse  was  opened,  and  the  cause  of 
death  fully  revealed.  As  the  Doctor  walked  away  in 
stately  triumph,  some  of  the  men  who  had  been  bois 
terous  against  him,  approached  by  way  of  excusing 
their  conduct,  and  said  that  now  they  were  perfectly 
satisfied.  "  What  you  know  !"  was  his  gruff  reply, 
"  you  not  know  a  man's  heart  from  a  pig's." 

Many  like  incidents  might  be  told — but  we  must 
not  leave  these  Captains  standing  too  long  at  the  door 
of  the  tent ;  with  the  production  of  the  light  in  they 
came,  with  the  remark  that  they  had  brought  hospital 
supplies.  In  the  meantime  several  officers,  field  and 
company,  attracted  by  the  noise  and  whiskey,-  came 
in  from  regimental  headquarters. 

"  Must  see  if  goot,"  and  the  Doctor  applied  the 
bottle  to  his  lips ;  it  was  not  a  favorite  drink  of  his, 
and  tasted  badly  in  lieu  of  Khine  wine  or  lager. 

"  May  be  goot  whiskey." 

"Let  practical  whiskey  drinkers  have  a  chance," 
said  two  or  three  at  once,  and  the  bottle  went  its  round. 


50  RED-TAPE   AXB 

The  test  was  not  considered  satisfactory  until 
another  and  another  had  been  emptied. 

The  increasing  confusion  aroused  the  Chaplain, 
who  hitherto  had  been  snugly  ensconced  beneath  his 
blankets  in  the  corner  opposite  the  Doctor. 

u  Here,  Chaplain,  your  opinion,  and  don't  let  us  hear 
anything  about  putting  the  bottle  to  your  neighbor's 
•  lips,"  said  a  rough  voice  in  the  crowd.  The  Chaplain 
politely  declined,  with  the  remark  that  they  appeared 
too  anxious  to  put  the  bottle  to  their  own  lips  to 
require  any  assistance  from  their  neighbors. 

"  Chaplain  not  spiritually  minded,"  muttered  the 
Doctor,  "  so  far  but  three  preaches,  and  every  preach 
cost  government  much  as  sixty  tollar."  The  calcu 
lation  at  the  Chaplain's  expense,  amused  the  crowd, 
and  annoyed  the  Chaplain,  who  resumed  his  blankets: 

"  When  I  was  in  Western  Yirginny,  under  Eose- 
crans," — 

"  The  old  start  and  good  for  a  yarn,"  said  an  officer. 

"  Good  for  facts,"  replied  the  Chief  of  the  Detail. 

"Never  mind,  Captain,  we'll  take  it  as  fact,"  said 
the  Adjutant. 

"  We  had  a  chaplain  that  was  a  chaplain  in  every 
sense  of  the  word." 

"  Did  he  drink  and  swear  ?  "  inquired  a  member  of 
the  Detail. 

"  On  long  marches  and  in  fights  he  had  a  canteen 
filled  with  what  he  called  chaplain's  cordial,  about 
one  part  whiskey  and  three  water.  I  tasted  it,  but 
with  little  comfort.  One  day,  a  member  of  Eosy's 
staff  seeing  him  pulling  at  it,  asked  for  it,  and  after  a 
strong  pull,  told,  the  chaplain  that  he  was  weak  in 
spiritual  things.  *  Blessed  are  the  poor  in  .  spirit,' 
was  the  quick  answer  of  the  chaplain.  As  to  swear 
ing,  he  was  never  known  to  swear  but  once. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  51 

"I heard  an  officer  tell  the  Adjutant  a  day  or  two 
ago,  that  what  was  considered  the  prettiest  sentence  in 
the  English  language,  had  been  written  by  a  smutty 
preacher.  I  don't  recollect  the  words  as  he  repeated 
it,  but  it  was  about  an  old  officer,  who  nursed  a  young 
one,  and  some  one  told  him  the  young  one  would  die. 
The  old  officer  excited,  said,  '  By  G-d,  he  sha'nt  die.' 
It  goes  on  to  say  then  that  an  Angel  flew  up  to 
heaven,  to  enter  it  in  the  great  Book  of  Accounts, 
and  that  the  Angel  who  made  the  charge  cried  over 
it  and  blotted  it  out.  That  is  the  substance  anyhow. 
Well,  sir,  if  the  Third  Yirginny's  Chaplain's  oath 
was  ever  recorded  it  is  in  the  same  fix." 

"  Well,  tell  us  about  it,  how  it  happened,"  exclaim 
ed  several. 

"  Why  you  see,  Rosy  sent  over  one  day  for  a  Major 
who  had  lately  come  into  the  Division,  and  told  him  that 
300  rebels  were  about  six  miles  to  our  left,  in  the  bushes 
along  a  creek,  and  that  he  should  take  300  men,  and 
kill,  capture,  or  drive  them  off.  The  Major  was  about 
to  make  a  statement.  *  That's  all,  Major,'  with  a  wave 
of  his  hand  for  him  to  leave,  '  I  expect  a  good  account.' 

"  That  was  Rosy's  style  :  he  told  an  officer  what  he 
wanted,  and  he  supposed  the  officer  had  gumption 
enough  to  do  it,  without  bothering  him,  as  some  of  our 
red-tape  or  pigeon-hole  Generals,  as  the  boys  call  them, 
do  with  long  written  statements  that  a  memory  like  a 
tarred  stick  couldn't  remember — telling  where  these 
ten  men  must  be  posted,  those  twenty-five,  and  another 
thirty,  etc.  I  wonder  what  such  office  Generals  think 
— that  the  Rebels  will  be  fools  enough  to  attack  us 
when  we  want  them  to,  or  take  ground  that  we  would 
like  to  have  them  make  a  stand  on." 

"  Captain,  we  talk  enough  ourselves  about  that ;  on 
with  the  story." 


52  RED-TAPE   AXD 

"Well,  four  companies,  seventy-five  strong  each, 
were  detailed  to  go  with  him,  and  mine  among  the 
number,  from  our  regiment.  The  chaplain  got  wind  of 
it,  and  go  he  would.  By  the  time  the  detail  was 
ready,  he  had  his  bullets  run,  his  powder-horn  and 
fix in's  on,  and  long  Tom,  as  he  called  his  Kentucky 
rifle,  slung  across  his  shoulder." 

"  His  canteen?"  inquired  an  officer  disposed  to  be  a 
little  troublesome. 

"  Don't  recollect  about  that,"  said  the  Captain,  some 
what  curtly. 

"  On  the  march  he  mized  with  the  men,  talked 
with  them  about  all  kinds  of  useful  matters,  and  gave 
them  a  world  of  information. 

"  We  had  got  about  a  mile  from  where  we  supposed 
the  Rebels  were ;  jnj  company,  in  advance  as  skir 
mishers,  had  just  cleared  a  wood,  and  were  ten  yards 
in  the  open,  when  the  Butternuts  opened  fire  from  a 
wood  ahead  at  long  rifle  range.  One  man  was  slight 
ly  wounded.  We  placed  him  against  a  tree  with  his 
back  to  the  Rebels,  and  under  cover  of  the  woods 
were  deciding  upon  a  plan  of  attack,  when  up  gallops 
our  fat  Major  with  just  breath  enough  to  say,  'My 
God,  what's  to  be  done  V 

"  I'll  never  forget  the  chaplain's  look  at  that.  He 
had  unslung  long  Tom ;  holding  it  up  in  his  right  hand, 
lie  fairly  yelled  out,  '  Fight,  by  Gr — d !  Boys,  follow  me.' 
And  we  did  follow  him.  Skirting  around  through 
underbrush  to  our  left,  concealed  from  the  Rebs,  we 
came  to  an  open  again  of  about  thirty  yards.  The 
Rebs  had  retired  about  eighty  yards  in  the  wood  to 
where  it  was  thicker. 

"  Out  sprang  the  Chaplain,  making  a  worm  fence, 
Indian  fashion,  for  a  big  chestnut.  We  followed  in 
same  style.  My  orderly  was  behind  another  chestnut 


PIGEON-HOLE  GENEBALS.  63 

about  ten  feet  to  the  Chaplain's  left,  and  slightly  to 
his  rear.  There  was  for  a  spell  considerable  random 
firing,  but  no  one  hurt,  and  the  Rebs  again  retired  a 
little.  We  soon  saw  what  the  Chaplain  was  after. 
About  eighty-five  yards  in  his  front  was  another  big 
chestnut,  and  behind  it  a  Rebel  officer.  They  blazed 
away  at  each  other  in  fine  style — both  good  shots,  as 
you  could  tell  by  the  bark  being  chipped,  now  just 
where  the  Chaplain's  head  was,  and  now  just  where 
the  officer's  was.  The  officer  was  left-handed.  The 
Chaplain  could  fire  right  or  left  equally  well.*  By  a 
kind  of  instinct  for  fair  play  and  no  gouging  that 
even  the  Rebs  feel  at  times,  the  rest  on  both  sides 
looked  at  that  fight,  and  wouldn't  mix.  My  orderly 
had  several  chances  to  bring  the  Rebel.  Their  rifles 
cracked  in  quick  succession  for  quite  a  spell.  The 
Chaplain,  at  last,  not  wanting  an  all-day  "affair  of  it, 
carefully  again  drew  a  bead  on  a  level  with  the  chip 
marks  on  the  left  of  the  Rebel  tree.  He  had  barely 
time  to  turn  his  head  without  deranging  the  aim, 
when  a  ball  passed  through  the  rim  of  his  hat.  As 
he  turned  his  head,  he  gave  a  wink  to  the  orderly,  who 
was  quick  as  lightning  in  taking  a  hint.  A  pause  for 
nearly  a  minute.  By  and  by  the  Rebel  pokes  his 
head  out  to  see  what  was  the  matter.  Seeing  the  gun 
only,  and  thinking  the  Chaplain  would  give  him  a 
chance  when  he'd  take  aim,  he  did  not  pull  it  in  as* 
quick  as  usual.  My  orderly  winked, — a  sharp  crack, 
and  the  Rebel  officer  threw  up  his  hands,  dropped  his 
rifle,  and  fell  backward,  with  well  nigh  an  ounce 
ball  right  over  his  left  eye,  through  and  through  his 
head.  Our  men  cheered  for  the  Chaplain.  The  Rebs 
fired  in  reply,  and  rushed  to  secure  the  body.  That  cost 
them  three  more  men,  but  they  got  their  bodies,  and 
fast  as  legs  could  carry  them,  cut  to  their  fort  about 


54  RED-TAPE   AND 

three  miles  to  their  rear.  We  of  course  couldn't 
attack  the  fort,  and  returned  to  camp.  The  boys 
were  loud  in  praise  of  the  Chaplain.  Their  chin  music, 
as  they  called  camp  rumors,  had  it  that  the  officer 
killed  was  a  Eebel  chaplain.  Old  Rosy,  when  he 
heard  of  it,  laughed,  and  swore  like  a  trooper.  I 
hear  he  has  got  over  swearing  now — but  it  couldn't 
have  been  until  after  he  left  Western  Virginny.  I 
heard  our  Chaplain  say  that  he  heard  a  brother  chap 
lain  say,  and  he  believed  him  to  be  a  Christian, — that 
he  believed  that  the  Apostle  Paul  himself  would  learn 
to  swear  inside  of  six  months,  if  he  entered  the  ser 
vice  in  Western  Yirginny.  Washington  prayed  at 
Trenton,  and  swore  at  Monmouth,  and  I  don't  believe 
that  the  War  Department  requires  Chaplains  to  be 
better  Christians  than  Washington.  Our  old  Chaplain 
used  to  say  that  there  were  many  things  worse 
than  swearing,  and  that  he  didn't  believe  that  men 
often  swore  away  their  chances  of  heaven." 

"  Comforting  gospel  for  you,  captain,"  said  that  trou 
blesome  officer. 

"  He  was  a  bully  chaplain,"  continued  the  captain, 
"  becoming  more  animated,  probably  because  the  regi 
mental  chaplain,  turtle-like,  had  again  protruded  his 
head  from  between  the  blankets.  "  He  had  no  long 
tailed  words  or  doctrines  that  nobody  understood, 
that  tire  soldiers,  because  they  don't  understand  them, 
and  make  them  think  that  the  chaplain  is  talking 
only  to  a  few  officers.  That's  what  so  often  keeps 
men  away  from  religious  services.  Our  chaplain 
used  to  say  that  you  could  tell  who  Paul  was  talking 
to  b}'  his  style  of  talk.  I  can't  say  how  that  is  from 
my  own  reading ;  but  I  always  heard  that  Paul  was 
a  sensible  man,  and  if  so  he  certainly  would  suit  him 
self  to  the  understanding  of  his  crowd." 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  55 

"  Our  old  chaplain  talked  right  at  you.  No  mis 
take  he  meant  you — downright,  plain,  practical,  and 
earnest.  He'd  tell  his  crowd  of  backwoodsmen, 
flatboatmen  and  deck  hands — the  hardest  customers 
that  the  gospel  was  ever  preached  to, — '  That  the  war 
carried  on  by  the  Government  was  the  most  righteous 
of  wars ;  they  were  doing  God's  service  by  fighting 
in  it.  On  the  part  of  the  rebels  it  was  the  most  un 
natural  and  wicked  of  wars.  They  called  it  a  second 
Revolutionary  War,  the  scoundrels !  when  my  father 
and  your  father,  Tom  Hulzman,'  said  he,  addressing 
one  of  his  hearers,  '  fought  in  the  Revolution,  they 
fought  against  a  tyrannical  monarchy  that  was  founded 
upon  a  landed  aristocracy — that  is,  rich  big  feeling 
people,  that  owned  very  big  farms.  The  Govern 
ment  stands  in  this  war,  if  any  thing,  better  than  our 
fathers  stood.  We  fight  against  what  is  far  worse 
than  a  landed  aristocracy,  meaner  in  the  sight  of  God 
and  more  hated  by  honest  men,  this  accursed  slave 
aristocracy,  that  will,  if  they  whip  us — (Can't  do  that, 
yell  the  crowd.)  No,  they  can't.  If  they  should,  we 
would  be  no  better  than  the  poor  whites  that  are  per 
mitted  to  live  a  dog's  life  on  some  worn-out  corner  of 
a  nigger-owner's  plantation.  Would  you  have  your 
children,  Joe  Dixon,  insulted,  made  do  the  bidding  of 
some  long-haired  lank  mulatto  nabob  ?  (Never,  says 
Joe.)  Then,  boys,  look  to  your  arms,  fire  low,  and  don't 
hang  on  the  aim.  We  must  fight  this  good  fight  out, 
and  thank  God  we  can  do  it.  If  we  die,  blessed  will  be 
our  memory  in  the  hearts  of  our  children.  If  we  live 
and  go  to  our  firesides  battle-scarred,  our  boys  can  say, 
"  See  how  dad  fought,  and  every  scar  in  front,"  and  we'll 
be  honored  by  a  grateful  people.'  And  he'd  tell  of  the 
sufferings  of  their  parents,  wives,  and  children,  if  we 
didn't  succeed,  till  the  water  courses  on  the  dirty  faces 
of  his  crowd  would  be  as  plain  as  his  preaching. 


56  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  And  pray  !  he'd  pray  with  hands  and  eyes  both 
open,  in  such  a  way  that  every  one  believed  it  would 
have  immediate  attention ;  that  God  would  damn  the 
Rebellion ;  and  may  be  next  day  he'd  have  Long  Tom 
doing  its  full  share  in  hurrying  the  rebels  themselves 
to  damnation. 

"  And  kind  hearted !  why  old  Tim  Larkins,  who  had 
a  wound  on  the  shin  that  wouldn't  heal,  told  me  with 
tears  in  his  eyes  that  he  had  been  mother,  wife,  and 
child  to  him.  He  went  about  doing  good. 

"  And  now  I  recollect,"  and  the  Captain's  eye 
glistened  as  he  spoke,  "  how  he  acted  when  young 
Snowden  was  wounded.  Snowden  was  a  slender,  pale- 
faced  stripling  of  sixteen,  beloved  by  every  body  that 
knew  him,  and  if  ever  a  perfect  Christian  walked  this 
earth,  he  was  one,  even  if  he  was  in  service  in  Western 
Virginny.  The  chaplain  was  fond  of  company,  and,  as 
was  his  duty,  mixed  with  the  men.  Snowden  was  reserv 
ed,  much  by  himself,  and  had  little  or  no  chance  to  learn 
bad  habits  ;  that  is  the  only  way  I  can  account  for  his 
goodness.  I  often  heard  the  chaplain  tell  the  boys  to 
imitate  Snowden,  and  not  himself;  i  you'll  find  a  pure 
mouth  there,  boys,  because  the  heart  is  pure ;  you'll 
see  no  letters  of  introduction  to  the  devil,'  as  the 
chaplain  called  cards,  'in  his  knapsack.'  By  the  way, 
he  was  so  hard  on  cards,  that  even  the  boatmen,  who 
knew  them  better  than  their  A  B  C's,  were  ashamed 
to  play  them.  He  would  say,  c  Snowden  is  brave  as 
man  can  be;  he  has  a  right  to  be,  he  is  prepared  for 
every  fate.  A  Christian,  boys,  makes  all  the  better 
soldier  for  his  being  a  Christian,'  and  he  would  tell  us 
of  Washington.  Col.  Gardner,  that  preacher  that 
suffered,  fought  and  died  near  Elizabeth,  in  the  Jerseys, 
and  others. 

"  In  bravery,  none  excelled  Snowden.     We  were 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  57 

lying  down  once,  but  about  sixty  yards  from  a  wood 
chuck  full  of  rebels,  when  word  was  sent  that  our 
troops  on  the  left  must  be  signalled,  to  charge  in  a 
certain  way.  Several  understood  the  signs,  but  Snowv- 
den  first  rose,  mounted  a  stump,  and  did  not  get  off 
although  receiving  flesh  wounds  in  half-a-dozen  dif 
ferent  places,  and  his  clothing  cut  to  ribands,  until  he 
saw  the  troops  moving  as  directed.  How  we  gritted 
our  teeth  as  we  heard  the  bullets  whiz  by  that  brave 
boy.  I  have  the  feeling  yet.  We  thought  his  goodness 
saved  him.  His  was  goodness !  Not  that  kind  that  will 
stare  a  preacher  full  in  the  face  from  a  cushioned  pew 
on  Sunday,  and  gouge  you  over  the  counter  on  Mon 
day,  but  the  genuine  article.  His  time  was  yet  to 
come. 

"  One  day  we  had  driven  the  rebels  through  a 
rough  country  some  miles,  skirmishing  with  their  rear 
guard  ;  the  Chaplain  and  Snowclen  with  my  company 
foremost.  We  neared  a  small  but  deep  creek  the 
rebels  had  crossed,  and  trying  to  get  across,  we  were 
scattered  along  the  bank.  I  heard  a  shot,  and  as  I 
turned  I  saw  poor  Snowden  fall,  first  on  his  knee  and 
then  on  his  elbow.  I  called  the  Chaplain.  They 
were  messmates — he  loved  Snowden  as  his  own  child, 
and  always  called  him  '  my  boy.'  He  rushed  to  him, 
*  My  boy,  who  fired  that  shot  ?'  The  lad  turned  to  a 
clump  of  bushes  about  80  yards  distant  on  the  other 
side  of  the  creek.  Long  Tom  was  in  hand,  but  the 
rebel  was  first,  and  a  ball  cut  the  Chaplain's  coat  col 
lar.  The  flash  revealed  him ;  in  an  instant  long  Tom 
was  in  range,  and  another  instant  saw  a  Butternut 
belly  face  the  sun.  Dropping  his  piece,  falling  upon 
his  knee,  he  raised  Snowden  gently  up  with  his  left 
hand.  'I  am  dying,'  whispered  the  boy,  'tell  my 
mother  I'll  meet  her  in  heaven.'  The  Chaplain  raised 


58  RED-TAPE   AND 

his  right  hand,  his  eyes  swimming  in  tears,  and  in 
tones  that  I'll  never  forget,  and  that  make  me  a  better 
man  every  time  I  think  of  them,  he  said,  '  0  God,  the 
pure  in  heart  is  before  thee,  redeem  thy  promise,  and 
reveal  thyself.'  A  slight  gurgle,  and  with  a  pleasant 
smile  playing  upon  his  countenance,  the  soul  of 
John  Snowden,  if  there  be  justice  in  heaven,  went 
straight  up  to  the  God  who  gave  it."  Tears  had  come 
to  the  Captain's  eyes,  and  were  glistening  in  the  eyes 
of  most  of  the  crowd. 

The  Dutch  doctor  alone  was  unmoved.  Stoically  he 
remarked,  "  Yery  goot  story,  Captain,  goot  story,  do 
our  Chaplain  much  goot." 

The  crowd  left  quietly — all  but  the  Captain,  who, 
never  forgetting  business  in  the  hurry  of  the  moment, 
drew  a  receipt  for  the  transfer  of  thirteen  bottles  of 
whiskey  to  the  hospital  department,  which  the  doctor 
signed  without  reading. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENEIIALS.  59 


CHAPTER  VI. 

A  Day  at  Division  Head- Quarters — The  Judge  Advocate — 
The  tweedle-dum  and  tiveedle-dee  of  Red- Tape  as  understood 
by  Pigeon-hole  Generals — Red-tape  Reveries — French  Author 
ities  on  Pigeon-hole  Investigations- — An  Obstreperous  Court  and 
Pigeon-hole  Strictures — Disgusting  Head*  Quarter  Profanity. 

^  ^  npHE  General  commanding  Division  desires  to 
I  see  Lieutenant  Colonel ,  210th  Regi 
ment,  P.  V.,  Judge  Advocate,  immediately,"  were 
words  that  met  the  eye  of  the  latter  officer,  as  he 
unfolded  a  note  handed  him  by  an  orderly.  It  was 
about  nine  in  the  forenoon  of  a  fine  day  in  Octo 
ber.  Buckling  on  his  sword,  and  ordering  his 
horse,  he  rode  at  a  lively  canter  to  the  General's 
Head-Quarters. 

"  Colonel,"  said  the  General,  pulling  vigorously 
at  the  same  time  at  the  left  side  of  his  moustache,  as 
if  anxious  that  his  teeth  should  take  hold  of  it,  "  I 
have  sent  for  you  in  regard  to  this  Record,  Do  you 

know,  sir,  that  this  Record  has  given  me  a  d d 

sight  of  trouble ;  why,  sir,  I  consulted  authorities  the 
greater  part  of  last  night,  French  and  American." 

"  In  regard  to  what  point,  General?" 

"  In  regard  to  what  point  ?  In  regard  to  all  the 
points,  sir.  There,  sir,  is  the  copy  made  of  that  or 
der  detailing  the  Court.  It  reads,  *  Detailed  for  the 
Court,'  whereas  it  should  be  '  Detail  for  the  Court.' 


60  RED-TAPE   AND 

My  mind  is  not  made  up  fully  as  to  whether  the  vari 
ance  vitiates  the  Eecord  or  not.  The  authorities  ap 
pear  to  be  silent  upon  that  point.  To  say  the  least,  it 
is  d d  awkward." 

"  General,  the  copy  is  a  faithful  one  of  the  order 
issued  from  your  Head-Quarters." 

"  From  my  Head-Quarters,  sir  ?  By  G — d,  Colo 
nel,  that  can't  be.  If  I  have  been  particular,  and 
have  prided  myself  upon  any  one  thing,  it  has  been 
upon  having  papers  drawn  strictly  according  to  the 
[Regulations.  And  I  have  tried  to  impress  it  upon 
my  clerks.  That  infernal  blunder  made  at  my  Head- 
Quarters  !  I'll  soon  see  how  that  is."  And  the 
General,  Kecord  in  hand,  took  long  strides,  for  a  lit 
tle  man,  towards  the  Adjutant's  tent. 

"  Captain,"  said  he,  addressing  an  officer  who  was 
best  known  in  the  Division  as  a  relative  of  a  leading 
commander,  and  whose  only  claim  to  merit — in  fact, 
it  had  to  counterbalance  many  habits  positively  bad — • 
consisted  of  his  reposing  under  the  shadow  of  a 
mighty  name,  "  where  is  the  original  order  detailing 
this  Court?"  "  Here,  General,"  said  a  clerk,  producing 
the  paper.  The  General's  eye  rested  for  a  moment 
upon  it,  then  throwing  it  upon  the  table,  he  burst 

out  passionately  :  "  Captain,  this  is  too  G 

bad  after  all  my  care  and  trouble  in  giving  you  full 
instructions.  Is  it  possible  that  the  simplest  order 
can't  be  made  out  without  my  supervision,  as  if,  by 
G — d,  it  was  my  business  to  stand  over  your  desks 
all  day  long,  see  every  paper  folded,  endorsement 
made,  and  the  right  pigeon-hole  selected?  This 
won't  do.  I  give  full  instructions,  and  expect  them 
carried  out.  By  G — d,"  continued  the  General,  strid 
ing  vehemently  across  to  his  marquee,  "  they  must 
be  carried  out. 


PIGEON- FI OLE    GENERALS.  61 

"  Colonel,  I  see  that  you  are  not  accountable  for  this. 

If  the  d d  fool  had  only  made  it  '  Detail  of  the 

Court/  it  might  have  passed  unnoticed." 

"  General,"  suggested  the  Colonel,  "  would  not  that 
have  been  improper  ?  Would  it  not  have  im 
plied  an  already  existing  organization  of  the  court  ? 
whereas  the  phrase  in  the  order  is  intended  merely  to 
indicate  who  shall  compose  the  court." 

"  It  would  have  looked  better,  sir,"  said  the  Gene 
ral,  somewhat  sharply.  "Colonel,  you  are  not  to 
blame  for  this ;  you  can  return  to  quarters,  sir." 

The  Colonel  bowed  himself  out,  remounted  his 
black  horse,  and  while  riding  at  a  slow  walk,  could 
not  but  wonder  if  the  Government  would  not  have 
been  the  gainer  if  it  had  made  it  the  business  of  the 
General  to  fold  and  endorse  papers,  and  dust  pigeon 
holes.  It  was  generally  understood  that  this  occupa 
tion  had  been,  previous  to  his  being  placed  in  com 
mand  of  the  Division,  the  sum-total  of  the  General's 
military  experience.  And  how  high  above  him  did 
this  red-tapism  extend  ?  The  General  had  been  on 
McClellan's  staff,  and  through  his  influence,  doubtless, 
acquired  his  present  position.  Were  its  trifling  de 
tails  detaining  the  grand  army  of  the  Potomac  from 
an  onward  movement  in  this  most  favorable  weather, 
to  the  great  detriment  of  national  finances,  the  en 
couragement  of  the  Rebellion,  and  the  depression  of 
patriots  everywhere?  Must  the  earnestness  of  the 
patriotic,  self-sacrificing  thousands  in  the  field,  be 
fettered  by  these  cobwebs,  constructed  by  men  in 
terested  in  pay  and  position  ?  If  so,  then  in  its  widest 
sense,  is  the  utterance  of  an  intelligent  Sergeant,  made 
a  few  days  previous,  true,  that  red-tape  was  a  greater 
curse  to  the  country  than  the  rebellion.  The  loyal 
earnest  masses  would  soon,  if  unfettered,  have  found 


62  BED-TAPE   AND 

leaders  equally  loyal  and  earnest — Joshuas  born  in 
the  crisis  of  a  righteous  cause,  whose  unceasing  blows 
would  not  have  allowed  the  rebels  breathing  spells. 
It  is  not  too  late ;  but  how  much  time,  blood,  to  say 
nothing  of  money,  have  been  expended  in  ascer 
taining  that  a  great  Union  military  leader  thought 
the  war  in  its  best  phase  a  mere  contest  for  bounda 
ries. 

The  black  halted  at  the  tent  door,  was  turned  over 
to  his  attendant,  and  the  Lieut. -Colonel  joined  his  tent 
companion  the  Colonel, 

His  stay  was  brief.  In  the  course  of  a  few  minutes 
an  orderly  in  great  haste  handed  him  the  following 
note : 

"  The  General  commanding  Division  desires  to  see 
Lieut.-Colonel without  delay."  • 

The  saddle,  not  yet  off  the  black,  was  readjusted, 
and  again  the  Judge- Advocate  cantered  over  the 
gentle  bluffs  to  Division  Head-Quarters. 

"Colonel,"  said  the  General,  hardly  waiting  for 
his  entrance,  "  these  mistakes  multiply  so,  as  I  proceed 
in  my  duty  as  Keviewing  Officer,  that  I  am  utterly 
confounded  as  to  what  course  to  pursue," 

"  Will  you.  please  point  them  out,  General?" 

"  Point  out  the  Devil ! — will  you  point  to  something 
that  is  strictly  in  accordance  with  the  regulations? 
Here  you  have  'Private  John  W.  Holman,  Co.  I,  212th 
Kegt.  P.  V.,'  and  then  not  two  lines  below,  it  is,  John 
W.  Holman,  Private,  Co.  I,  212th  Keg,  P.  Y.7  Now,  by 
G —  Colonel,  one  is  certainly  wrong,  and  that  blunder 
did  not  come  from  Division  Head-Quarters." 

"  Will  the  General  please  indicate  which  is  cor 
rect?" 

"Indicate!  that's  the  d— 1  of  it,  that  is  the  per 
plexing  question ;  my  French  authorities  are  silent  on 


PIGEON-HOLE    GEXEKALS.  63 

the  subject,  and  yet,  sir,  you  must  see  that  one  must 
be  wrong." 

"  That  does  not  follow,  General ;  it  would  be  con 
sidered  a  mere  clerical  error.  Records  that  I  have 
Seen  have  titles  preceding  and  following  both." 

"  There  is  no  such  thing  in  military  law  as  a  mere 
clerical  error.  Every  thing  is  squared  here  by  the 
regulations  and  military  law.  The  General  or  Colonel 
who  is  unfortunate  in  consequence  of  strictly  following 
these,  will  not,  by  military  men,  regular  officers  at 
least,  be  held  accountable.  Do  not  understand  me  as 
combating  your  knowledge  of  the  law,  Colonel ;  you 
may  have  excused,  in  your  practice,  bad  records 
successfully  on  the  ground  of  *  clerical  errors,'  but  it 
will  not  do  in  the  army.  There's  where  volunteer 
officers  make  their  mistakes ;  they  don't  think  and 
act  concertedly  as  regulars  do.  Individual  judgment 
steps  in  too  often,  and  officers'  judgments  play  the 
D — 1  in  the  army.  Now,  in  France,  their  rules  in 
regard  to  this,  are  unusually  strict." 

"  They  order  this-  matter  better  in  France  then," 
observed  the  Colonel,  mechanically  making  use  of 
the  hackneyed  opening  sentence  of  "  The  Sentimental 
Journey."  "  And  they  manage  them  better,  Sir ; — 
Another  thing,  Colonel,"  quickly  added  the  General, 
"  t's  must  be  crossed  and  i's  carefully  dotted.  There 
are  several  omissions  of  this  kind  that  might  have 
sent  the  Record  back.  By  the  way,  whose  hand 
writing  is  this  copy  in?"  said  the  General,  looking 
earnestly  at  the  Colonel.  ""A  clerk's,  sir."  "  A  clerk ! 
Another  d — d  pretty  piece  of  business,"  continued 
the  General,  rising.  "  Colonel,  that  record  is  not  worth 

a  G not  a  G ,  Sir !  Who  ever  heard  of  a  clerk 

being  employed?  no  clerk  has  a  right  to  know  any 
thing  of  the  proceedings." 


64  BED-TAPE   AND 

"I  have  been  informed.  General,  and  have  ob 
served  from  published  reports  of  proceedings  of 
courts-martial,  that  clerks  are  in  general  use." 

"  Can't  be !  Colonel,  can't  be !  By  G— d,  there  is 
another  perplexing  matter  for  my  already  over-taxed 
time,  and  yet  the  senseless  people  expect  Generals  to 
move  large  armies,  and  plan  big  battles,  when  their 
hands  are  full  of  these  d — d  business  details  that 
cannot  be  neglected  or  delayed." 

The  General  resumed  his  seat,  ran  his  fingers 
through  his  hair  with  frightful  rapidity,  as  if  gather 
ing  disconcerted  and  scattered  ideas,  for  a  moment  or 
two,  and  then  looking  up  dismissed  the  Colonel. 

The  black  was  again  in  requisition  ;  and  again  the 
Colonel's  thoughts,  with  increased  feelings  of  disgust, 
were  directed  to  what  he  •  could  not  but  think  the 
trifling  details  that,  as  the  General  admitted,  delay  the 
movements  of  great  armies,  and  the  striking  of  heavy 
blows.  T's  must  be  crossed  when  we  ought  to  be  cross 
ing  the  Potomac ;  i's  dotted  when  we  ought  to  be 
dotting  Virginia  fields  with  our  -tents.  And  war  so 
proverbially,  so  historically  uncertain,  has  its  rules, 
which,  if  adhered  to,  will  save  commanders  from  cen 
sure — -judgment  not  allowed  to  interfere.  It  would 
appear  so  from  many  movements  in  the  history  of 
the  Army  of  the  Potomac.  What  would  that  despiser 
of  senseless  details,  defier  of  rules  laid  down  by  in 
ferior  men,  and  cutter  of  red  tape,  as  well  as  master- 
genius  in  the  art  of  war,  the  Great,  the  First  Napo 
leon,  have  said  to  all  this.  Shades  of  Washington, 
Marion,  Morgan,  all  the  Eevolutionary  worthies, 
Jackson,  all  our  Volunteer  Officers,  of  whose  military 
records  we  are  justly  proud — 

"  Of  the  mighty  can  it  be 
That  this  is  all  remains  of  thee !" 


PIGEON-HOLE  GENERALS.  65 

Generals  leading  armies  such  as  the  world  never 
before  saw,  fettering  movements  on  the  field  by  the 
movements  of  trifling  office  details  at  the  desk, 
which  viewed  in  f!ie  best  light  are  the  most  con 
temptible  of  excuses  for  delay. 

This  time  the  old  black  was  not  unsaddled ; — a  for 
tunate  thought,  as  another  request  for  the  immediate 
presence  of  the  Judge  Advocate  compelled  him  to 
take  his  dinner  of  boiled  beans  hasty  and  hot. 

Whatever  the  reader  may  think  of  the  General's 
condition  of  mind  during  the  preceding  interviews,  it 
was  to  reach  its  fever  heat  in  this.  The  Colonel  saw, 
as  he  entered  the  marquee,  that  his  forced  calmness 
of  demeanor  portended  a  storm.  Whether  the  Colo 
nel  thought  that  a  half-emptied  good-sized  tumbler 
of  what  looked  like  clear  brandy  which  stood  on  the 
table  before  hinij  had  anything  to  do  with  it,  the 
reader  must  judge  for  himself. 

"  Colonel,  I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  forward  that 
Record  with  the  mistakes  I  have  already  indicated  to 
you,  but  after  all  I  am  pained  to  state  that  the  total 
disregard  of  duty  by  the  Court,  and  perhaps  by 
yourself,  in  trifling — yes,  by  G — d  — "  here  the  Ge 
neral  could  keep  in  no  longer,  and  rising  with  hand 
clinching  the  Kecord  firmly,  continued, — "  trifling 
with  a  soldier's  duty,  the  regulations,  and  the  safety 
of  the  army  will  not  allow  it.  Colonel,  you  are  a 
lawyer,  and  is  it  possible  that  you  can't  see  what  that 
d d  Court  has  done  ?" 

"  I  would  be  happy  to  be  informed  in  what  respect 
they  have  erred,  General." 

u Happy  to  be  informed!  how  they  have  erred! 
By  G — d,  Colonel,  you  take  this  outrageous  matter 
cool.  That  Record,"  said  the  General,  holding  it  up, 
and  waving  it  about  his  head, — the  red  tape  with 


66  RED-TAPE   AXD 

•which  the  Judge  Advocate  had  adorned  it  plentifully, 
if  for  no  other  purpose  than  to  cover  a  multitude  of 
mistakes,  all  the  while  streaming  in  the  air, — "that 
Kecord  is  a  disgrace  to  the  Division.  What  does  that 
Record  show?  At  this  he  threw  it  violently  into  a 
corner  of  the  tent.  "  It  shows,  by  G — d,  that  here  was 
an  enlisted  soldier  in  the  United  States  Army,  found 
sleeping  on  his  post  in  the  dead  hour  of  night,  in  the 
presence  of  the  enemy,  and  yet — "  said  the  General, 
lifting  both  hands  clenched,  "  a  pack  of  d — d  volunteer- 
officers  detailed  as  a  court  let  him  off.  Yes,  I'll  be 

Gr ,"  and  his  arms  came  down  slapping  against  his 

hips,  "  let  him  off,  with  what?  why  a  reprimand  at  dress 
parade,  that  isn't  worth  a  d — n  as  a  punishment. 
Here  was  a  chance  to  benefit  the  Division;  yes,  sir,  a 
military  execution  would  do  this  Division  good.  It 
needs  it ;  we'll  have  a  d — d  sight  now  to  be  court-mar 
tialed.  What  will  General  McClellan  say  with  that 
record  before  him  ?  Think  of  that,  Colonel.' 

"  I  would  be  much  more  interested  in*  what  Judge 
Advocate  Holt  would  say,  General,  on  account  of  his 
vastly  superior  ability  in  that  department ;  and  as  to 
the  death  penalty,  General,  I  conscientiously  think 
it  would  be  little  short  of,  if  not  quite,  murder."  The 
General  had  resumed  his  seat,  but  now  arose'  as  if 
about  to  interrupt ; — but  the  Colonel  continued  :— 

"  General,  that  boy  is  but  seventeen,  with  a  look 
that  indicates  unmistakably  that  he  is  half  an  idiot. 
He  has  an  incurable  disease  that  tends  to  increase  his 
imbecility.  His  memory,  if  he  ever  had  any,  is  com 
pletely  gone.  The  Articles  of  War,  or  instructions 
of  officers  as  to  picket  duty,  would  not  be  remembered 
by  him  a  minute  after  utterance,  and  not  understood 
when  uttered.  I  have  thought  since  that  I  should 
have  entered  a  plea  of  insanity  for  him.  He  had  not 


PIGEOK-HOLE   GENERALS.  67 

previously  been  upon  duty  for  a  month,  and  was  that 
day  placed  on  by  mistake.  The  Court,  if  it  had  had 
the  power,  would  have  punished  the  officer  that  re 
cruited  him  severely.  He  ought  to  be  discharged;  and 
the  Court  was  informed  that  his  application  for  dis 
charge,  based  upon  an  all-sufficient  surgeon's  certifi 
cate,  was  forwarded  to  your  head-quarters  a  month 
ago,  and  has  not  since  been  heard  from.  Besides,  this 
was  not  a  picket  station,  but  a  mere  inside  regimental 
camp  guard." 

The  Colonel  spoke  rapidly,  but  with  coolness  ; — all 
the  while  the  General's  eyes,  fairly  glowing,  were 
gazing  down  intently  upon  him. 

"  Colonel,  if  your  manner  was  not  respectful,  I 
would  think  that  you  intended  insulting  me  by  your 

d d  provoking  coolness.  Conscience!"  said  the 

General,  sneeringly,  "conscience  or 'no  conscience,  that 
man  must  be  duly  sentenced.  By  G — d,  I  order  it. 
You  must  reconvene  the  Court  without  delay.  It  is 
well  seen  it  is  not  a  detail  of  Kegulars.  Conscience 

wouldn't  trouble  them  when  a  d d  miscreant  was 

upon  trial.  A  boy  of  seventeen !  Seventeen  or  thirty- 
seven  !  By  G — d  !  he  is  a  soldier  in  the  Army  of  the 
United  States,  and  must  be  tried  and  punished  as  a 
soldier.  An  idiot !  What  need  you  care  about  the 
brains  of  a  soldier  ?  If  he  has  the  army  cap  on  his 
head,  that's  all  you  need  require.  Plea  of  insanity, 
indeed !  We  want  no  lawyer's  tricks  here.  And  as  to 
that  discharge,  if  it  is  detained  at  my  head-quarters,  it 
is  because  it  was  not  properly  folded  or  endorsed — 
may  be  will  not  fit  neatly  in  the  pigeon-hole.  Colo 
nel,"  continued  the  General,  moderating  his  tone 
somewhat,  "  I  must  animadvert — by  G — d,  I  must 
animadvert  severely  upon  that  Kecord." 

"  General,"  quietly  interrupted  the  Colonel,  "  you 


68  BED-TAPE   AND 

will  publish  your  animadversion,  I  trust,  so  that  it  can 
be  read  at  dress  parades,  and  the  Division  have  the 
benefit  of  it." 

"  There,  Colonel,"  said  the  General,  twitching  his 
moustache  violently,  "  there  it  is  again.  You  appear 
perfectly  courteous — but  that  remark  is  cool  contempt. 
I  want  you  to  understand,"  his  tones  louder,  and  gesti 
culations  violent,  "  that  you  must  take  my  strictures, 
tell  the  court  that .  they  must  impose  the  sentence  I 

direct,  and  leave  conscience  to  me,  and  no  d d 

plea  of  insanity  about  it." 

".General,"  observed  the  Colonel,  rising,  "I  am  the 
counsel  of  the  prisoner  as  well  as  of  the  United  States. 
I  cannot  and  will  not  injure  my  own  conscience, 
wrong  the  prisoner,  or  humiliate  the  Government  by 
insisting  upon  a  death  penalty." 

"  Kead  my  strictures  to  the  court,  and  do  your  duty, 
sir,  or  I'll  court-martial  the  whole  d d  establish 
ment.  Go  and  re-assemble  your  court  forthwith." 

As  he  said  this  he  handed  a  couple  of  closely  writ 
ten  sheets  of  large  sized  letter-paper,  tied  with  the 
inevitable  red-tape,  to  the  Colonel.  The  Colonel  bow 
ed  himself  out,  and  the  chair  in  front  of  the  pigeon 
holes  of  the  camp  desk  was  again  occupied  by  a 
living  embodiment  of 'red-tape. 

The  court  was  forthwith  notified.  It  immediately 
met.  The  strictures  were  read,  and  in  case  of  many 
sentences,  especially  towards  the  close,  from  necessity 
re-read  by  the  Judge  Advocate.  After  Considerable 
laughter  over  the  document,  and  some  little  indigna 
tion  at  the  unwarranted  dictation  of  u  their  command 
ing  General,"  of  -which  title  the  General  had  taken 
especial  pains  to  remind  them "  at  least  every  third 
sentence,  the  court  decided  not  to  change  the  sentence, 
and  directed  the  Judge  Advocate  to  embody  their 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  69 

reasons  for  the  character  of  the  sentence  in  his  report. 
The  reasons,  much  the  same  as  those  stated  to  the 
General  by  the  Judge  Advocate,  were  reduced  to 
writing,  and  duly  forwarded,  with  the  record  signed 
and  attested,  to  their  "  commanding  General."  That 
record,  like  some  other  court-martial^  records  of  the 
Division,  has  not  since  been  heard  of  as  far  as  the 
Judge  Advocate  or  any  member  of  the  court  is  in 
formed.  The  poor  boy  a  few  days  afterwards  entered 
a  hospital,  not  again  to  rejoin  his  regiment.  His  ap 
plication  for  discharge  has  not  been  heard  of.  With 
.no  prospect  of  being  fit  for  active  service — dying  by 
inches  in  fact, — he  is  compelled  at  Government  ex 
pense  to  follow  the  regiment  in  an  ambulance  from 
carnp  to  camp,  and  on  all  its  tedious  marches. 

The  profanity  in  the  foregoing  chapter  has  doubt 
less  disgusted  the  reader  quite  as  much  as  its  utterance 
did  the  Judge  Advocate.  And  yet  hundreds  of  the 
Division  who  have  heard  the  General  on  hundreds 
of  other  occasions,  the  writer  feels  confident  will  cer 
tify  that  it  is  rather  a  mild  mood  of  the  General's  that 
has  been  described.  The  habit  is  disgusting  at  all 
times.  Many  able  Generals  are  addicted  to  the  habit ; 
but  they  are  able  in  spite  of  it.  That  their  influence 
would  be  increased  without  it,  cannot  be  denied.  It 
has  been  well  said  to  be  "  neither  brave,  polite,  nor 
wise."  But  now  when  the  hopes  of  the  nation  centre 
in  the  righteousness  of  their  cause,  and  thousands  of 
prayers  continually  ascend  for  its  furtherance  from 
Christians  in  and  out  of  uniform,  how  utterly  contemp 
tible  1  how  outrageously  wicked !  for  an  officer  of 
elevated  position,  to  profane  the  Name  under  which 
those  prayers  are  uttered,  and  upon  which  the  nation 
relies  as  its  "  bulwark,"  "  its  tower  of  strength,"  a  very 
"present  help  in  this  its  time  of  trouble." 


70  RED-TAPE   AND 


CHAPTER  VII. 

A  Picket- Station  on  the  Upper  Potomac— Fitz  John's  Rail  Or 
der- — Rails  for  Corps  Head-  Quarters  versus  Rails  for  Hospi 
tals — The  Western  Virginia  Captain — Old  Rosy,  and  How" 
to  Silence  Secesh  Women— The  Old  Woman's  Fixiris—The 
Captain's  Orderly. 

PICKET  duty,  while  in  this  camp,  was  light. 
Even  the  little  tediousness  connected  with  it 
was  relieved  by  the  beautifully  romantic  character 
of  the  scenery.  Confined  entirely  to  the  river  front, 
the  companies  detailed  were  posted  upon  the  three 
bluffs  that  extended  the  length  of  that  front,  and  on 
the  tow-path  of  the  canal  below. 

The  duty,  we  have  said,  was  light.  It  could  hardly 
be  considered  necessary,  in  fact,  were  it  not  to  disci 
pline  the  troops.  The  bluffs  were  almost  perpendi 
cular,  varying  between  seventy-five  and  one  hundred 
feet  in  height.  Immediately  at  their  base  was  the 
Chesapeake  and  Ohio  canal,  averaging  six  feet  in 
depth,  A  narrow  towing-path  separated  it  from  the 
Potomac,  which,  in  a  broad,  placid,  but  deep  stream, 
broken  occasionally  by  the  sharp  points  of  shelving 
rocks,  mostly  sunken,  that  ran  in  ridges  parallel  with 
the  river  course,  flowed  languidly ;  the  water  being 
dammed  below  as  before  mentioned. 

On  one  of  the  most  inclement  nights  of  the  season, 


PIGEOX-HOLE   GENERALS.  71 

the  Company  commanded  by  our  Western  Virginia 
captain  bad  been  assigned  the  towing-path  as  its  sta 
tion.  No  enemy  was  in  front,  nor  likely  to  be,  from 
the  manner  in  which  that  bank  of  the  river  was  com 
manded  by  our  bakeries.  In  consequence,  a  few 
fires,  screened  by  the  bushes  along  the  river  bank, 
were  allowed.  Around  these,  the  reserve  and  offi 
cers  not  on  duty  gathered. 

In  a  group  standing  around  a  smoky  fire  that 
struggled  for  existence  with  the  steadily  falling  rain, 
stood  our  captain.  His  unusual  silence  attracted  the 
attention  of  the  crowd,  and  its  cause  was  inquired 
into. 

"Boys,  I'm  disgusted  ;  for  the  first  time  in  my  life 
since  I  have  been  in  service;  teetotally  disgusted 
with  the  way  things  are  carried  on.  I'm  no  green 
horn  at  this  business  either,"  continued  the  captain, 
assuming,  as  he  spoke,  the  position  of  a  soldier,  and 
although  somewhat  ungainly  when  off  duty,  no  man 
in  the  corps  could  take  that  position  more  correctly, 
or  appear  to  better  advantage.  "  I  served  five  years 
as  an  enlisted  man  in  an  artillery  regiment  in  the 
United  States  army,  and  left  home  in  the  night  when 
I  wasn't  over  sixteen,  to  do  it ;  part  of  that  time  was 
in  the  Mexican  war.  Yes,  sir,  I  saw  nearly  the 
whole  of  that.  Since  then,  I've  been  in  service  near 
ly  ever  since  this  Kebellion  broke  out,  and  the  hard 
est  kind  of  service,  arid  under  nearly  all  kinds  of 
officers,  and  by  all  that's  holy,  I  never  saw  anything 
so  mean  nor  was  as  much  disgusted  as  I  was  to-day. 
Boys !  when  shoulder-straps  with  stars  on  begin  to 
think  that  we  are  not  human  beings,  of  flesh  and 
blood,  liable  to  get  sick,  and  when  sick,  needing  at 
tention  like  themselves,  it's  high  time  those  straps 
change  shoulders.  These  damp  days  we,  and  espe- 


72  KED-TAPE   AND 

cially  our  sick,  ought  to  be  made  comfortable.  One 
great  and  good  soldier  that  I've  often  heard  tell  of, 
wounded,  of  high  rank,  and  who  lived  a  long  time  .ago, 
across  the  ocean,  refused,  although  dying  for  want  of 
drink,  to  touch  water,  until  a  wounded  private  near 
him  first  had  drunk.  That's  the  spirit.  A  man 
that'll  do  that,  is  right,  one  hundred  chances  to  "one  in 
other  respects.  We  have  had  such  Generals,  we  have 
them  now,  and  some  may  be  in  this  corps,  but  it 
don't  look  like  it." 

"  Well,  Captain,  what  did  you  see  ?" 

"  Well,  I  had  sent  my  Sergeant  to  get  a  few  rails 
to  keep  a  poor  boy  comfortable  who  had  a  high  fe 
ver,  and  who  could  not  get  into  the  hospital  for  want 
of  room.  The  wood  that  was  cut  from  the  hill  was 
green,  and  the  poor  fellow  had  been  nearly  smoked 
to  death.  The  Sergeant  went  with  a  couple  of  men, 
and  was  coming  back,  the  men  having  two  rails 
apiece,  when  just  as  they  got  the  other  side  of  the 
Toll-gate  on  the  hill,  the  Provost-Guard  stopped 
them,  told  them  there1  was  an  order  against  their  us 
ing  rails,  and  they  must  drop  them.  It  did  no  good 
to  say  that  they  were  for  a  sick  man,  that  was  no  go. 
They  thought  they  had  to  do  it,  and  did  it.  They 
hadn't  come  fifty  yards  toward  camp,  before  one  of 
those  big  six-mule  corps-teams  that  have  been  haul 
ing  rails  for  the  last  four  days,  came  along,  and  the 
rails  were  pitched  into  the  wagon.  When  I  heard 
of  it  I  was  wrothy.  I  cut  a  bee-line  for  the  Adjutant 
and  got  the  Order,  and  there  it  was  in  black  arid 
white,  that  no  more  fences — rebel  fences — should  be 
destroyed,  and  no  more  rails  used.  Now,  I  knew 
well  that  these  corps- teams  had  hauled  and  hauled 
until  the  whole  establishment,  from  General  Porter 
down  to  his  Darkies,  were  in  rails  up  to  their  eyes, 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS. 


and  then,  when  they  had  their  own  fill,  this  order 
comes,  and  we,  poor  devils,  might  whistle.  Here 
were  our  hospitals  like  smoke-houses,  not  fit  for  hu 
man  beings,  and  especially  the  sick.  It  was  a  little 
too  d  -  -d  mean.  I  couldn't  stand  it  The  more  I 
thought  of  it  the  madder  I  got,  and  I  got  fighting 
mad,  when  I  thought  how  often  that  same  General 
in  his  kid  gloves,  fancy  rig,  and  cloak  thrown  back 
from  his  shoulders  to  show  all  the  buttons  and  stars, 
had  passed  me  without  noticing  my  salute.  He  never 
got  a  second  chance,  and  never  will.  I  started  off, 
took  three  more  men  than  the  Sergeant  had  ;  went  to 
the  first  fence  I  could  find,  and  that  was  about  two 
miles  —  for  the  corps-teams  had  made  clean  work  —  • 
loaded  my  men  and  myself,  and  started  back.  The 
Provost-Guard  was  at  the  old  place  ;  I  was  bound  to 
pass  them  squarely. 

"  *  Captain,'  said  the  Sergeant,  <  we  have  orders  to 
stop  all  parties  carrying  rails.' 

"  *  Bv  whose  orders  ?' 

"  '  General  Porter's.' 

"  '  I  am  one  of  General  Porter's  men.  I  have  author 
ity  for  this,  sir,'  said  I,  looking  him  full  in  the  eye. 

"  *  Boys,  move  on  !'  and  on  we  did  move.  When 
the  Lieut,  saw  us  filing  left  over  the  hill  towards 
camp,  he  sent  a  squad  after  us.  But  it  was  too  late. 
The  Devil  himself  couldn't  have  had  the  rails  in  sight 
of  my  company  quarters,  and  I  told  him.  so. 

"  '  I'll  report  you  to  the  Division  General,  and  have 
you  court-martialled,  sir.' 

"  l  Yery  well,'  although  I  knew  the  General  had  a 
mania  for  courts-martial.  1  1  have  been  court-mar 
tialled  four  times,  and  cleared  every  clip.' 

"  l  Now  let  that  court-martial  come  ;  somebody's 
meanness  will  see  the  light,'  thought  L 

4 


f  4  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  Old  Rosy,  boys,  was  the  man.  I  said  I  was  dis 
gusted,  but  we  mustn't  get  discouraged.  We  have 
some  earnest  men — yes,  I  believe,  plenty  of  them  ;  but 
they're  not  given  a  fair  show.  It'll  all  come  right, 
though,  I  believe.  Men  with  hearts  in  them ;  and 
Rosy,  let  me  tell  you,  is  no  runt  in  that  litter. 

"  '  Captain,'  said  he  to  me  one  day  when  I  had  gone 
to  his  head-quarters  according  to  orders,  '  I  have 
sonething  that  must  be  done  without  delay,  and  from 
what  I've  seen  of  you,  you  are  just  the  man  for  the 
work.  I  passed  our  hospital  a  few  minutes  ago,  and 
'  I  thought  it  was  about  to  blaze ;  the  smoke  came  out 
of  the  windows,  chimney,  doors,  and  every  little  crack 
so  damnably.  I  turned  around  and  went  in,  and 
found  that  the  smoke  had  filled  it,  and  that  the  poor 
fellows  were  suffering  terribly.  Now,  Captain,  they 
have  no  dry  wood,  and  they  must  have  some  forth 
with,  and  111  tell  you  where  to  get  it 

"  '  The  other  day  I  rode  by  a  nest  of  she-rebels,  and 
found  that  .they  had  cord  upon  cord  of  the  best  hick 
ory  piled  up  in  the  yard,  as  if  cut  by  their  husbands, 
before  leaving,  for  use  this  winter.  They  have  made 
provision  enough  for  our  hospital  too.  Now  take 
three  army  wagons,  as  many  men  as  you  need,  and 
go  about  three  miles  out  the  Little  Gap  Road  till  you 
come  to  a  new  weather-boarded  house  at  the  Forks. 
Make  quick  work,  Captain.' 

"  I  did  make  quick  work  in  getting  there,  for  that 
was  about  ten,  and  about  half-past  eleven  the  govern 
ment  wagons-  were  in  the  yard  of  the  house  and  my 
company  in  front. 

" '  We  have  no  chickens,'  squalled  an  old  woman 
from  a  second-story  window,  *  nor  pigs,  nor  anything 
— all  gone.  We  are  lone  women.' 

"  '  Only  in  the  day- time,  I  reckon,'  said  my  orderly; 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  75 

the  same  fellow  that  winked  at  the  chaplain.  He  was 
one  of  the  roughest  fellows  that  ever  kept  his  breath 
over  night.  Long,  lank,  ill-favored,  a  white  scrawny 
beard,  stained  from  the  corners  of  his  mouth  with 
tobacco  juice  ;  but  for  all,  I'd  pick  him  out  of  a 
thousand  for  an  orderly.  He  was  always  there,  and 
his  rifle— he  always  carried  his  own — a  small  bore, 
heavy  barrel,  rough-looking  piece,  never  missed. 

"  As  the  old  woman  was  talking  from  the  window, 
a  troop  of  women,  from  eighteen  to  forty  years  old — 
but  I  am  a  better  judge  of  horses'  ages  than  women's ; 
they  slip  us  up  on  that  pint  too  often — came 
rushing  out  of  the  door.  They  made  all  kinds  of  in 
quiries,  but  I  set  my  men  quietly  to  work  loading  the 
wood. 

"  *  Now,  Captain,  you  shan't  take  that  wood,'  said 
a  well-developed  little,  rather  pretty,  black -haired 
woman,  but  with  those  peculiar  black  eyes,  full  of  the 
devil,  that  you  only  see  among  the  Rebels,  and  that 
the  Almighty  seems  to  have  set  in  like  lanterns  in 
lighthouses  to  show  that  their  bearers  are  not  to  be 
trusted.  '  You  shan't  take  that  wood  !'  raising  her 
voice  to  a  scream.  The -men  worked  on  quietly,  and 
I  overlooked  the  work. 

"  '  You  dirty,  greasy -looking  Yankee,'  said  another, 
1  born  in  some  northern  poor-house.' 

"  '  And  both  parents  died  in  jail,  I'll  bet.' 

"  ( If  our  Jim  was  only  here,  he'd  handle  the  cow 
ardly  set  in  less  time  than  one  of  them  could  pick  up 
that  limb.' 

"  *  You  chicken  thief,  you  come  by  it  honestly. 
Your  father  was  a  thief  before  you,  and  your 
mother — ' 

"  This  last  roused  me.  I  could  hear  nothing  bad 
of  her  from  man  or  woman. 


76  RED-TAPE   AND 

"  '  You  she-devil,'  said  I,  turning  to  her,  '  not  one 
word  more.'  She  turned  toward  the  house. 

"But  they  annoyed  the  men,  and  I  concluded  to 
keep  them  still. 

"  '  Sergeant,'  said  I,  addressing  the  orderly,  and  near- 
ing  the  house,  the  women  close  at  my  heels.  '  Ser 
geant,  as  our  regiment  will  camp  near  here  to-mor 
row,  we  might  as  well  look  out  for  a  company  hospi 
tal.  How  big  is  that  house  ?' 

"  '  Large  enough,  Captain;  thirty  by  fifty  at  least.' 

"  '  How  many  rooms?' 

"  *  About  three,  I  reckon,  on  first  floor,  and  I  guess 
the  upper  story  is  all  in  one,  from  its  looks  through 
the  window.  Plenty  of  room.  Bully  place,  and 
what  is  more,  plenty  of  ladies  to  nurse  the  poor  boys. 

"The  noses  of  the  women  not  naturally  cocked, 
became  upturned  at  this  last  remark  of  the  sergeant's. 
But  they  had  become  silent,  and  looked  anxious. 

"  *  Sergeant,  here's  paper  and  pencil,  just  note  down 
the  names  of  the  sick,  and  the  rooms  we'll  put  them 
in,  so  as  to  avoid  confusion.' 

"  The  sergeant  ran  the  sharp  end  of  the  pencil  half 
an  inch  in  his  mouth,  and  on  the  palm  of  his  horny 
hand  commenced  the  list,  talking  all  the  while  aloud 
— slowly,  just  as  if  writing — 'Let  me  see.  My  mem'y 
isn't  more  than  an  inch  long,  and  there's  a  blasted  lot 
f  'em. 

"  'Jim  Smith,  Bob  Biley,  Larry  Clark,  got  small 
pox  ;  Larry  all  broke  out  big  as  old  quarters,  put  'em 
in  back  room  down  stairs.'  The  women  got  pale, 
but  small-pox  had  been  common  in  those  parts. 
'  George  Johnson,  Bill  Davis,  got  the  mumps.7  '  The 
mumps,  Sally,  the  mumps,  them's  what  killed  George, 
and  they're  so  catchin' — whispered  one  of  the  women 
— and  continued  the  sergeant,  '  Bill  Thatcher,  George 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  77 

Clifton  the  chicken-pox.'  '  0  Lord,  the  chicken-pox,' 
said  another  woman,  '  it  killed  my  two  couskis  before 
they  were  in  the  army  a  week. — (  Put  them  four,' 
said  the  sergeant,  '  in  the  middle  room  down  stairs. 
Save  the  kitchen  for  cookin',  and  up  stairs  put  Jim 
Williams,  Spooky  Johnson,  Tom  Hardy,  Dick  Cra 
mer,  and  the  little  cook  boy ;  all  got  the  measles.' 
'  The  measles !'  screamed  out  half-a-dozen  together. 
*  Good-Lord,  we'll  be  killed  in  a  week.'  *  They  say,' 
said  another  black  eye,  '  that  that  crack  Mississippi 
Brigade  took  the  measles  at  Harper's  Ferry,  and  died 
like  flies.  They  had  to  gather  them  from  the 
bushes,  and  all  over.  Brother  Tom  told  me.  He  said 
our  boys  were  worked  nearly  to  death  digging  graves.' 

"  '  That  was  a  good  thing,'  observed  the  sergeant. 

'  You  beast !'  said  the  little  old  woman  advancing 
towards  him,  and  shaking  her  fist  in  his  face. 

"  '  And  what  will  become  of  us  women?'  screamed 
she. 

"'A  pretty  question  for  an  old  lady ;  we  calculate 
that  you  ladies  will  wait  on  the  sick,'  drily  remarked 
the  sergeant. 

"  At  this  the  women,  thinking  their  case  hopeless, 
with  downcast  looks  quietly  filed  into  the  house. 

"  The  boys  by  this  time  had  about  done  loading  the 
teams.  All  the  while  I  had  watched  the  manners  of 
the  women  closely  and  the  house,  and  I  came  to  the 
conclusion  that  it  would  pay  to  make  a  visit  inside. 

"  A  guard  was  placed  on  the  outside,  and  telling 
the  sergeant  and  two  men  to  follow,  I  entered.  It  was 
all  quiet  below,  but  we  found  when  we  had  reached  the 
top  of  the  steps,  and  stood  in  the  middle  of  the  big 
room  up  stairs,  the  women  in  great  confusion,  some 
in  a  corner  of  the  room,  and  a  few  sitting  on  the  beds. 
Among  the  latter,  sitting  as  we  boys  used  to  say  on 


78  RED-TAPE    AND 

her  hunkers,  with  hands  clasped  about  her  knees,  was 
the  old  woman.  Besides  the  beds  the  only  furniture 
in  the  room  was  a  large,  roughly  made,  doiible-doored 
wardrobe  that  stood  in  one  corner. 

"  We  hadn't  time  to  look  around  before  the  old  wo 
man  screeched  out — 

"  *  You  won't  disturb  my  private  fixin's,  will  you  ?' 

"  *  I  rather  think  not,'  slowly  said  the  sergeant, 
giving  her  at  the  same  time  a  comical  look. 

"Notwithstanding  repeated  and  tearful  assurances 
that  there  was  nothing  there,  that  the  men  had  taken 
off  all  the  arms,  hadn't  left  lead  enough  to  mend  a 
hole  in  the  bottom  of  the  coffee-pot,  etc.,  etc.,  we  be 
gan  to  search  the  beds,  commencing  at  one  corner. 
There  were  two  beds  between  us  and  the  old  woman's, 
and  although  we  shook  ticks  and  bolsters,  and  made 
otherwise  close  examination,  we  discovered  nothing 
beyond  the  population  usually  found  in  such  localities 
in  Western  Virginia. 

"  The  old  woman  was  fidgety.  Her  face,  that  at 
two  reflections  would  have  changed  muscatel  into  crab 
apple  vinegar,  was  more  than  usually  wrinkled.  *  O 
Lord,  nothing  here,'  groaned  she,  as  she  sat  with  her 
back  to  the  head-board.  She  did  not  budge  an  inch 
as  we  commenced  at  her  bed. 

"  The  sergeant  had  gone  to  the  head-board,  I  to  the 
foot.  I  saw  a  twinkle  in  his  eye  as  he  turned  over 
the  rough  comfort,  his  hand  reached  down — he  drew 
it  up  gradually,  and  the  old  woman  slid  as  gradually 
from  the  lock  to  the  muzzle  of  a  long  Kentucky  rifle. 
*  O  Lord,'  groaned  she,  as  she  keeled  over  on  her  right 
side  at  the  foot  of  the  bed. 

"  A  glow  of  admiration  overspread  the  Sergeant's 
face  as  he  looked  at  that  rifle. 

44  Well,  I  swow,  old  woman,  is  this  what  you  call  a 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  79 

private  fixin*  ?  '  said  the  Sergeant.  'A  queer  bed-fel 
low  you've  got ;  and  just  look,  Captain, '  said  he,  trying 
the  ramrod,  '  loaded,  capped,  and  half  cocked.' 

"  The  heavy  manner  in  which  the  old  lady  fell  over 
satisfied  me  that  we  hadn't  all  the  armory,  and  I  di 
rected  her  to  leave  the  bed  and  stand  on  the  floor. 

"  *  Can't,  can  I,  Ann  ?'  addressing  one  of  the  women. 

"  No,  marm  can't,  she  is  helpless.' 

"  *  Got  the  rheumatics,  had  em  a  year  and  better,' 
groaned  the  old  woman. 

"  *  Hadn't  'em  when  you  shook  your  fist  under  my 
nose  in  the  yard,'  said  the  Sergeant.  *  Get  off  the  bed ; ' 
catching  the  old  woman  by  the  arm,  he  helped  her 
off.  She  straightened  up  with  difficulty,  holding  her 
clothes  at  the  hips  with  both  hands.  *  Hold  up  your 
hands,'  said  the  Sergeant.  He  was  about  to  assist  her, 
when  not  relishing  that,  she  lifted  them  up  ;  as  she  did 
so,  there  was  a  heavy  rattling  sound  on  the  floor. 
The  old  woman  jumped  about  a  foot  from  the  floor 
clear  out  of  a  well  filled  pillow  cushion,  dancing  and 
yelling  like  an  Indian.  Some  hardware  must  have 
struck  her  toe  and  made  her  forget  her  rheumatism. 

"  That  bag  had  two  Colt's  navy  size, two  pistols  Eng 
lish  make,  with  all  the  trappings  for  both  kinds,  and 
two  dozen  boxes  of  best  make  English  water  proof 
caps. 

"  '  Old  woman,'  said  the  Sergeant  with  a  chuckle, 
1  your  private  fixin's  as  you  call  'em,  are  worth  hunting 
for.' 

"  But  the  old  woman  had  reached  the  side  of  a  bed, 
and  was  too  much  engaged  in  holding  her  toe,  to 
notice  the  remark. 

u  The.other  beds  were  searched,  but  with  no  success. 
[  had  noticed  while  the  old  woman  was  hopping 
about  a  short  fat  woman  getting  behind  some  taller 


80  BED-TAPE   AND 

ones  in  the  corner  and  arranging  her  clothing.  The 
old  woman's  contrivance  made  me  think  the  corner 
worth  looking  at. 

"The  women  sulkily  and  slowly  gave  way,  and 
another  pillow-case  was  found  on  the  floor,  from 
which  a  brace  of  pistols,  one  pair  of  long  cowhide 
riding  boots,  three  heavy-bladed  bowie  knives,  and 
some  smaller  matters,  were  obtained. 

"  The  wardrobe  was  the  only  remaining  thing,  and 
on  it  as  a. centre  the  women  had  doubled  their  columns. 

"  '  Oh,  Captain,  don't,'  said  several  at  once  beseech 
ingly,  *  we're  all  single  women,  and  that  has  our 
frocks  and  fixin's  in  it,'  as  I  touched  the  wardrobe. 

'"As  far  as  I've  seed  there  is  not  much  difference 
between  married  women's  fixin's  and  single  ones,' 
coolly  said  the  Sergeant. 

"  '  There  is  not  one  of  us  married,  Captain.' 

"  '  Sorry  for  that,'  said  the  Sergeant,  leisurely  eye 
ing  the  women.  'If  you'd  take  advice  from  a 
Yankee,  some  of  you  had  better  hurry  up.' 

"  The  women  were  indignant,  but  smothered  it, 
having  ascertained  that  a  passionate  policy  would  not 
avail. 

"  By  this  time  one  of  the  men  had  succeeded  with 
his  bayonet  in  forcing  a  door.  The  Sergeant  had 
laid  his  hand  on  the  door,  when  a  pretty  face,  lit  up 
with  those  same  devilish  black  eyes,  was  looking  into 
his  half  winningly,  and  a  pair  of  small  hands  were 
clasping  his  arm.  The  Sergeant's  head  gradually  fell 
as  it  to  hear  what  she  had  to  say,  when  magnetism,  a 
desire  to  try  experiments,  or  call  it  what  you  will,  as 
'love,'  although  said  to  'rule  the  camp,'  has  little 
really  to  do  with  the  monotony  of  actual  camp  scenes, 
or  the  horrors  of  the  field  itself, — at  any  rate  the  Ser 
geant's  head  dropped  suddenly, — a  loud  smack,  fol- 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  81 

lowed  instantly  by  the  dull  sound  of  a  blow, — and 
the  Sergeant  gently  rubbed  an  already  blackening  eye, 
while  the  woman  was  engaged  in  drawing  her  sleeve 
across  her  mouth.  Like  enough  some  tobacco  juice 
went  with  the  sleeve,  for  the  corners  of  the  Sergeant's 
mouth  were  regular  sluices  for  that  article. 

"  The  Sergeant's  eye  did  not  prevent  him  from  open 
ing  the  door,  however. 

"  '  Well,  I  declare,  brother  Jim's  forgot  his  clothes 
and  sword,'  said  one  of  the  women,  manifesting  much 
surprise. 

"  4Do  you  call  that  brother  Jim's  clothes?'  said  the 
Sergeant,  grasping  a  petticoat,  above  which  appeared 
the  guard  of  a  cavalry  sabre,  and  holding  both  up  to 
view.  *  I  tell  you  it's  no  use  goin'  on,'  said  th  Ser 
geant,  somewhat  more  earnestly,  his  eye  may  be 
smarting  a  little,  '  we're  bound  to  go  through  it  if  it 
takes  the  hair  off.'  The  women  squatted  about  on 
the  beds,  down-hearted  enough. 

"  And  through  it  we  went,  getting  five  more  sabres 
and  belts,  and  two  Sharp's  rifles  complete  in  that 
side,  and  a  cavalry  saddle,  holsters  with  army  pistols, 
bridles,  and  a  rifled  musket,  in  the  other  side*;  all 
bran  new.  There  was  nothing  in  the  lower  story  or 
cellar. 

"  When  I  showed  Rosy  our  plunder  —  and  it 
hadn't  to  be  taken  to  his  tent  either — when  he  heard 
of  it,  he  came  out  as  anxious  and  pleased  as  any  of 
the  boys, — he  was  a  General  interested  in  our  luck 
more  than  his  own  pay, — he  clapped  me  on  the  shoul 
der  right  before  my  men,  and  all  the  officers  and 
men  looking  on,  and  said  :  *  Captain,  you're  a  regular 
trump.  Three  cheers,  boys,  for  the  Captain  and  com 
pany.'  And  as  he  started  them  himself,  the  boys  did 
give  'em,  too.  '  Captain,  you'll  not  be  forgotten — be 

4* 


82  BED-TAPE   AND 

5 

easy  on  that  point.'  An<J  I  was  easy,  until  a  fit 
of  sickness  that  I  got  put  my  fortune  for  the  time 
out  of  Rosy's  hands.  The  men  never  forgot  that 
trip.  The  Sergeant  often  said  though,  it  was  the  only 
trip  he  wasn't  altogether  pleased  with,  because,  I  sup 
pose,  his  black  eye  was  a  standing  joke." 

Just  then,  a  sentinel's  hail  and  the  reply,  "  Grand 
Bounds,"  "Field  Officer  of  the  day,"  hurried  the  Cap 
tain  off,  and  the  crowd  to  their  posts. 


PIGEOX-HOLE    GJENEEALS.  83 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

The  Reconnaissance — Shepherdstown — Punch  and  Patriotism — 
Private  Tom  on  West  Point  and  Southern  Sympathy — The 
Little  Irish  Corporal  on  John  Mitchel — A  Skirmish — Hurried 
Dismounting  of  the  Dutch  Doctor  and  Chaplain — Battle  of 
Falling  Waters  not  intended —Story  of  the  Little  Irish  Cor 
poral—Patterson's  Folly,  or  Treason. 

AN  old  German  writer  has  said  that  "  six  months 
are  sufficient  to  accustom  an  individual  to 
any  change  in  life."  As  he  might  fairly  be  supposed 
to  have  penned  this  for  German  readers  and  with  the 
fixed  habits  and  feelings  of  a  German,  if  true  at  all, 
it  ought  to  hold  good  the  world  over.  As  we  are 
more  particularly  interested  in  camps  at  present,  we 
venture  the  assertion  that  six  weeks  will  make  a  sol 
dier  weary  of  any  camp.  With  our  Sharpsburg 
camp,  however,  perhaps  this  feeling  was  assisted '  by 
the  consciousness  so  frequently  manifested  in  the  con 
versation  of  the  men  that  the  army  should  be  on  the 
move. 

Hundreds  of  relatives  and  friends  had  taken  ad 
vantage  of  the  proximity  of  the  camp  to  a  railroad 
station  to  pay  us  a  visit,  and  with  them  of  course 
came  eatables — not  in  the  army  rations — and  delica 
cies  of  all  kinds  prepared  by  thoughtful  heads  and 
willing  hands  at  home.  Not  unfrequeutly  the  mar- 


84  RED-TAPE   AND 

quees  of  the  officers  were  occupied  by  their  families, 
•who,  in  their  enjoyment  of  the  novelties  of  camp  life, 
the  drills,  and.  dress  parades  of  the  regiment,  trea 
sured  up  for  home  consumption,  brilliant   recollec 
tions  of  the  sunny  side  of  war.     All  this,  to  say  no 
thing   of  the  scenery,  the  shade  of  the  wood,  that 
from  the  peculiar  position  of  the  camp,  so  gratefully 
from  early  noon  extended  itself,  until  at  the  hour  for 
dress  parade  the  regiment .  could  come  to  the  usual 
"parade  rest"  entirely  in  the  shade.     But  the  roads 
were  good,  the  weather  favorable,  the  troops  effec 
tive,  and  the  inactivity  was  a  "  ghost  that  would  not 
down"  in  the  sight  of  men  daily  making  sacrifices 
for  the  speedy  suppression  of  the  Eebellion.     The 
matter  was  constantly  recurring  for  discussion  in  the 
shelter  tent  as  well  as  in  the  marquees,  in  all  its  va 
rious  forms.     A  great  nation  playing  at  war  when  its 
capital  was  threatened,  and  its  existence  endangered. 
A  struggle  in  which  inert  power  was  upon  one  side, 
and  all  the  earnestness  of  deadly  hatred  and  blind 
fanaticism  upon  the  other.     An  enemy  vulnerable  in 
many  ways,  and  no  matter  how  many  loyal  lives  were 
lost,  money  expended  by  the  protraction  of  the  war, 
but  to  be  assailed  in  one.     But  why  multiply  ?  Ten 
thousand  reasons  might  be  assigned  why  a  military 
leader,  without  an  aggressive  policy  of  warfare,  un 
willing  to  employ  fully  the  resources  committed  to 
him,  should  not  succeed  in  the  suppression  of  a  Ee 
bellion.     The  nation  suffered  much  in  the  treason 
that  used  its  high  position  to  cloak  the  early  rebel 
movement  to  arms,  ancl  delayed  our  own  preparations ; 
but  more  in  the  incapacity  or  half-heartedness  that 
made  miserable  use  of  the  rich  materials  so  sponta 
neously  furnished. 

In  the  improvement  of  the  Regiment  the  delay  at 


PIGEON-HOLE    GEXERA.LS.  85 

the  Sharpsburg  camp  was  not  lost.  The  limited 
ground  was  well  used,  and  Company  and  Battalion 
drills  steadily  persevered  in,  brought  the  Kegirnent  to 
a  proficiency  rarely  noticed  in  regiments  much  longer 
in  the  field. 

"  Three  days'  cooked  rations,  sixty  rounds  of  am 
munition,  ancl  under  arms  at  four  in  the  morning. 
How  do  you  like  the  smack  of  that,  Tom  ?  " 

"  It  smacks  of  war,"  says  Tom,  "  and  it's  high  time." 
The  first  speaker  had  doffed  the  gown  of  the  student 
in  his  senior  year,  greatly  against  the  wishes  of  parents 
and  friends,  to  don  the  livery  of  Uncle  Sam.  One 
would  scarcely  have  recognised  in  the  rough  sun 
burned  countenance,  surmounted  by  a  closely  fitting 
cap,  once  blue  but  now  almost  red,  and  not  from  the 
blood  of  any  battle-field — in  the  course  slovenlv  worn 
blue  blouse  pantaloons,  unevenly  suspended,  and 
wide  unblacked  army  shoes,  the  well  dressed,  grace 
ful,  accomplished  student  that  commended  himself  to 
almost  universal  admiration  among  the  young  ladies 
of  his  acquaintance.  The  sqcond  speaker,  thinking 
that  a  more  .opportune  war  had  never  occurred  to  de 
mand  the  silence  of  the  Jaw  amid  resounding  arms,  had 
left  his  desk  in  an  attorney's  office,  shelved  his  Black- 
stone,  and  with  a  courage  that  never  flinched  in  the 
field  of  strife  or  in  toilsome  marches  where  it  can  per 
haps  be  subjected  to  a  severer  test,  had  thoroughly 
shown  that  the  resolution  with  which  he  committed 
himself  to  the  war  was  one  upon  whijsh  no  backward 
step  would  be  taken.  They  were  old  friends,  and  fast 
messmates.  Their  little  dog- tent,  as  the  shelter 
tents  were  called,  had  heard  from  each  many  an 
earnest  wish  that  their  letters  might  smell  of  pow 
der. 

The  feeling  then  with  which  George  uttered  this 


86  BED-TAPE   AND 

piece  of  news,  and  the  joy  of  Tom  as  he  heard  it,  can 
be  appreciated. 

"  What  authority  have  you,  George  ?" 

"  Old  Pigeon-hole's.  I  heard  him,  while  on  duty 
about  his  Headquarters  to-day,  tell  a  Colonel,  that  the 
move  had  been  ordered;  that  the  War  Department 
had  been  getting  uncommonly  anxious,  and  that  it 
interfered  with  certain  examinations  he  was  making 
into  very  important  papers." 

"  I'll  warrant  it.  1  would  like  to  see  any  move  in  a 
forward  direction  that  would  not  interfere  with  some 
arrangement  of  his.  His  moves  are  on  paper,  and  a 
paper  General  is  just  about  as  valuable  to  the  coun 
try  as  a  paper  blockade." 

"Is  the  movement  general?" 

"  I  think  it  is." 

"  Of  course  then  it  interferes.  George,  did  you  ever 
hear  any  patriotism  about  those  Headquarters  ?  You 
have  been  a  great  deal  about  them." 

"No,  but  I  have  seen  a  good  deal  of  punch  in  that 
neighborhood."  $  $; 

"  I'll  warrant  it — more  punch  than  patriotism.  A 
great  state  of  affairs  this.  There  are  too  many  of 
these  half-hearted  Headquarters  in  the  army.  They 
ought  to  be  cleaned  out,  and  I  believe  that  before 
this  campaign  is  through  it  will  be  done.  If  it  is  not 
done,  the  country  is  lost." 

"  Country  lost !  why  of  course ;  that  is  almost  ad 
mitted  about  that  establishment.  They  say  we  may 
be  able  to  pen  them  up,  and  as  they  don't  say  any 
more  they  must  think  that  is  about  all.  I  heard  a 
young  officer — a  Regular— who  seems  to  be  intimate 
up  there  say :  that  fhere  was  no  use  of  talking — that 
men  that  fought  the  way  the  Southerners — he  didn't 
use  the  word  Kebels — did,  could  not  be  conquered, 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  87 

: — that  they  were  too  much  for  our  men,  &c.,  &c.  I 
sould  have  kicked  the  shoulder-strapped  coward  or 
traitor,  may  be  both,  but  if  I  had,  old  Pigeon-hole 
would  have  had  a  military  execution  for  the  benefit 
of  the  Volunteers  in  short  order.  And  then  he  strutted, 
talking  treason  and  squirting  tobacco  juice — and  all 
the  while  our  Government  supporting  the  scoundrel. 
West  Point  was  on  his  outside,  but  his  conversation, 
and  vacant  look  told  me  plainly  enough  that  outside 
of  a  Government  position  the  squirt  had  not  brains 
enough  to  gain  a  day's  subsistence.  But  he's  one  of 
Pigey's  *  my  Kegulars,'  and  to  us  Volunteers  he  can 
put  himself  on  his  dignity  with  a  '  Procul,  Procul, 
este  ProfanC  " 

"  George,  don't  stir  me  up  on  that  subject  any  more. 
I  get  half  mad  when  I  think  that  Uncle  Sam's  worst 
enemies  are  those, of  his  own  household.  We  had 
better  anticipate  the  Captain's  order  about  this  in  our 
preparations,  and  not  be  up  half  the  night." 

"Even  so,  Tom." 

George  was  correct ;  as  to  a  move  at  least,  for  early 
dawn  saw  the  Division  and  a  detachment  from  another 
Division,  en  route  to  the  river.  There  was  the  usual 
quiet  in  the  camps  along  which  they  passed,  showing 
that  George  was  mistaken  as  to  the  move  being  gene 
ral.  The  troops  marching  through  a  winding  and 
wooded  defile,  passed  the  deservedly  well  known 
Brigade  of  General  Meagher.  "  Here's  Ould  Ireland 
Boys,"  said  the  little  Irish  Corporal,  pointing,  as  his 
face  glowed  with  pride,  to  the  flag  adorned  with  "  The 
Harp  of  Ould  Ireland,  and  the  Shamrock  so  green," 
the  emblems  of  the  Emerald  Isle. 

"  Their  General  is  an  Irishman  thrue  to  the  sod," 
"  none  of  your  rinegade  spalpeens  like  John  Mitchel — 
fighting  for  slave-holders  in  Ameriky,  and  against  the 


88  BED-TAPE   AND 

Lords  and  Dukes  in  Ould  Ireland,  and  the  slave 
holders  as  Father  Mahan  tould  me  the  worst  of  the 
two,  more  aristocratic,  big-feeling,  and  tyrannical  than 
the  English  nobility.  He  said,  too,  that  the  blackguard 
could  never  visit  the  ould  sod  again  unless  he  landed 
in  the  night-time,  and  hid  himself  by  day  in  a  bog  up 
to  his  eyes,  and  even  then  the  Father  said  he  believed 
the  blissed  mimory  of  St.  Patrick, 

'  "Who  drove  the  Frogs  into  the  Bogs, 
And  banished  all  the  Varmint,' 

would  clean  him  out  after  the  rist  of  the  varmin." 

"  Three  cheers  for  the  Irish  Brigade  "  greeted  the 
Corporal's  remarks. 

The  troops  crossed  with  difficulty  and  delay  at  the 
only  ford— and  wondered  with  reason  at  the  activity 
of  the  Rebels  in  having  transported  across  not  only 
their  army  and  baggage,  but  hundreds  if  not  thou 
sands  of  their  dead  and  wounded.  The  road  winding 
around  the  high  rocks  on  the  Virginia  side,  must  have 
been  in  more,  peaceful  times  a  favorite  drive  for  the 
gentry  of  the  neighborhood.  Shepherdstown  itself 
adorns  a  most  commanding  position.  On  the  occasion 
of  this  Union  visit  its  inhabitants  appeared  intensely 
Secesh.  Not  so  in  the  early  history  of  the  rebellion ; 
when  Patterson's  column  "  dragged  its  slow  length 
along"  through  the  valley  of  the  Shenandoah.  Scout 
ing  parties  then  saw  Union  flags  from  many  a  window. 
True,  they  streamed  from  dwellings  owned  by  the 
merchants,  mechanics,  and  laborers,  the  real  muscle 
of  the  country  ;  but  this  was  true  of  most  of  the  towns 
of  the  Border  States,  and  more  early  energetic  action 
in  affording  these  classes  protection  would  have 
secured  us  the  aid  of  their  strong  hands.  As  it  was, 
these  resources  were  in  great  measure  frittered  away 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  89 

— gradually  drawn  by  what  appeared  an  irresistible 
influence  into  the  vortex  of  the  Rebellion — or  scatter 
ed  wanderingly  through  the  Loyal  States,  and  worn 
down  and  exhausted  in  the  support  of  dependent  and 
outcast  families. 

Sharpsburg  was  greatly  altered.  The  yellow  Rebel 
Flag  designated  almost  every  other  building  as  a 
Hospital.  Their,  surgeons  in  grey  pompously  pa 
raded  the  streets.  As  the  troops  marched  through,  they 
were  subjected  to  almost  every  description  of  insult. 
One  interesting  group  of  Rebel  petticoated  humanity 
standing  in  front  of  premises  that  would  not  have  pass 
ed  inspection  by  one  of  our  Pennsylvania  Dutch 
housewives,  held  their  noses  by  way  of  showing  con 
tempt. 

"  Guess  you  have  to  do  that,  about  them  diggins. 
When  did  you  scrub  last?"  said  a  bright-eyed  officer's 
servant,  whom  a  few  years'  service  as  a  news-boy  had 
taught  considerable  shrewdness. 

To  annoy  others  "My  Maryland"  "and  John 
Brown  "  were  sung  by  the  men.  Around  a  toll-house 
at  the  west  end  of  town,  occupied  by  an  old  lady  whose 
husband  had  been  expelled  with  a  large  number  of 
other  patriotic  residents,  had  congregated  some  wives 
of  exiled  loyal  husbands,  who  were  not  afraid  to  avow 
their  attachment  for  the  old  Union,  by  words  of  en 
couragement  and  waving  of  handkerchiefs.  They 
were  backed  by  a  reserve  force  of  negroes  of  both 
sexes,  whose  generous  exhibition  of  polished  ivories, 
to  say  the  least,  did  not  represent  any  great  displea 
sure  at  the  appearance  of  the  troops. 

"There  are  the .  Reserves,"  said  one  of  the  boys, 
pointing  to  where  the  negroes  stood. 

"  Yes,  and  if  they  were  called  in  the  issue  of  this 
Rebellion  would  be  speedy  and  favorable,"  said  a 


90  RED-TAPE  AND 

Captain  in  musical  tones,  "  and  I  can't  think  but  that 
this  costly  child's  play  will  drive  the  nation  into  their 
use  much  sooner  than  many  expect.  Let  them  un 
derstand  that  they  are  the  real  beneficiaries  of  this 
war,  and  they  will  not  stay  their  hands.  And  why 
shouldn't  we  use  them  ?  *  They  are  one  of  the  means 
that  God  and  nature  have  placed  in  our  hands,'  and 
old  Virginia  can't  object  to  that  doctrine." 

"  But,  Captain,"  said  his  First  Lieutenant,  "  would 
you  fight  alongside  of  a  darkie  ?" 

"  Would  you  drive  a  darkie  away  if  he  came  to 
assist  you  in  a  struggle  for  life  ?" 

"Yes,  but  we  have  men  enough  without  their  aid." 

"  You  forget,  Lieutenant,  that,  as  matters  now  are, 
we  have  them  fighting  against  us." 

"  How  so?  " 

"  They  raise  the  crops  that  feed  the  Rebel  army. 
They  are  just  as  much,  perhaps  not  as  directly,  but 
just  as  really  fighting  against  us  as  the  founders 
who  cast  their  cannon.  And  as  to  fighting  alongside 
of  them,  they  may  have  quite  as  many  prejudices 
against  righting  alongside  of  us.  There  is  no  ne 
cessity  of  interfering  with  either.  Organize  colored 
regiments;  appoint  colored  line  officers  if  efficient, 
and  white  field  and  staff  officers,  until  they  attain, 
sufficient  proficiency  for  command.  As  to  their  fight 
ing  qualities,  military  records  attest  them  abundantly. 
The  shrewd  '  nephew  of  his  uncle '  has  used  them  for 
years." 

The  earnest  argument  of  the  Captain  made  a  deep 
impression  upon  the  men.  The  desperation  of  our 
case,  depressed  finances,  heavy  hospital  lists,  and  many 
other  causes,  independently  of  abstract  justice,  are  fast 
removing  that  question  beyond  the  pale  of  prejudice. 

A  halt  was  ordered,  and  the  men  rested  on  the 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  91 

sward  that  bordered  the  hard  pike,  and  in  the  im 
mediate  neighborhood  of  the  village  cemetery.  It  was 
literally  crowded  with  graves,  many  of  them  fresh. 
Large  additions  had  been  made  from  surrounding 
fields,  and  they  too  were  closely  taken  up  by  ridges 
covering  the  dead  of  Antietam. 

The  surrounding  country  had  suffered  little  from 
the  ravages  of  war.  Visited  occasionally  by  scouting 
parties — principally  cavalry — of  both  sides,  there  had 
been  none  of  the  occupation  by  large  bodies  of  troops, 
which  levels  fences,  destroys  crops,  and  speedily  gives 
the  most  fertile  of  countries  the  seeming  barrenness  of 
the  desert.  The  valley  had  a  reputation  that  ran  back 
to  an  ante-Revolutionary  date  for  magnificence  of 
scenery  and  fertility  of  soil.  Washington,  with  all  the 
enthusiasm  of  ardent  youth,  paid  it  glowing  encomiums 
in  his  field-notes  of  the  Fairfax  surveys.  In  later 
times,  when  the  destinies  of  our  struggling  colonies 
rested  upon  his  ample  shoulders,  the  leaders  of  the 
faction  opposed  to  him — for  great  and  good  as  he  was, 
he  had  jealous,  bitter,  and  malignant  enemies — settled 
a  few  miles  beyond  Shepherdstown,  at  what  has  since 
been  known  as  Leetown.  The  farms,  with  few  ex 
ceptions,  had  nothing  of  the  slovenly  air,  dilapidated, 
worn-out  appearance,  that  characterized  other  parts 
of  Virginia.  Upon  inquiry  we  found  that  the  large 
landowners  were  in  the  habit  of  procuring  tenants 
from  the  lower  counties  of  Pennsylvania,  and  that  the 
thrift  and  close  cultivation  were  really  imported.  In 
the  course  of  time  these  tenants,  with  their  customary 
acquisitiveness,  became  landowners  themselves,  and 
their  farms  were  readily  distinguishable  by  the  farm 
buildings,  and  particularly  by  the  large  substantial 
red  bank  barns. 

The  troops  moved  on  to  a  wood,  skirting  either  side 


92  BED-TAPE   AND 

of  the,  road,  and  were  thrown  into  line  of  battle.  The 
country  was  gently  rolling,  and  the  woods  in  front 
that  crowned  the  summit  of  the  low  ridges  were  shell 
ed  before  advancing.  Occasionally  Rebel  horsemen 
could  be  seen  rapidly  riding  from  one  wood  to 
another,  making  observations  from  some  commanding 
point. 

In  line  of  battle  by  Brigade,  flanked  by  skirmish 
ers,  the  advance  was  made.  To  the  troops  this,  al 
though  toilsome,  was  unusually  exciting.  Through 
woods,  fields  of  corn  whose  tall  tops  concealed  even 
the  mounted  officers,  and  made  the  men,  like  quails  in 
standing  grain,  be  guided  by  the  direction  of  the  sound 
of  the  command,  rather  than  by  the  touch  of  elbows 
to  the  centre, — over  the  frequent  croppings  out  of 
ledges  of  rock,  through  the  little  streams  of  this  plenti 
fully  watered  country,  the  movement  slowly  progress 
ed.  They  had  not  advanced  far  when  a  shell  scream 
ed  over  their  heads,  uncomfortably  close  to  the  Sur 
geon  and  Chaplain,  some  fifty  yards  in  the  rear,  and 
mangled  awfully  a  straggler  at  least  half  a  mile  further 
back.  As  may  be  supposed,  his  fate  was  a  standing 
warning  against  straggling  for  the  balance  of  the 
campaign. 

Notwithstanding  further  compliments  from  the 
rebels,  who  appeared  to  have  our  range,  a  roar  of 
laughter  greeted  the  dexterity  with  which  the  Chap 
lain  and  Surgeon  ducked  and  dismounted  at  the 
sound  of  the  first  shell.  Of  about  a  size,  and  both 
small  men,  they  fairly  rolled  from  their  horses.  The 
boys  had  it  that  the  little  Dutch  Doctor  grabbed  at 
his  horse's  ear,  or  rather  where  it  ought  to  have  been  ; 
as  the  horse  was  formerly  in  the  Rebel  service,  and 
was  picked  up  by  the  Doctor  after  the  battle  of 
Antietam,  minus  an  ear,  lost  perhaps  through  a  cut 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  93 

from  an  awkward  sabre,  and  missing  it  fell  upon  his 
hands  and  knees  in  front  of  the  horse's  feet. 

As  the  shells  grew  more  frequent  and  direct  in 
range,  the  men  were  ordered  to  halt  and  lie  down. 
The  field  officers  dismounted,  and  were  joined  by  the 
Chaplain  and  Doctor  leading  their  horses. 

"  Colonel,  I  no  ride  that  horse,"  said  the  Doctor, 
sputtering  and  brushing  the  dust  off  his  clothes. 

"Why  not,  Doctor?" 

"  Too  high — very  big — "  touching  the  top  of  the 
shoulder  of  the  bony  beast,  and  almost  on  tip-toe  to 
do  it,  "  had  much  fall,  ground  struck  me  hard,"  con 
tinued  he,  his  eyes  snapping  all  the  while. 

"  Well,  Doctor,"  remarked  one  of  the  other  field 
officers,  "  we  have  told  you  all  along  that  if  you  ever 
got  in  range  with  that  horse,  your  life  would  hardly 
be  worth  talking  about." 

"  They  not  know  him,"  anxiously  said  the  Doc 
tor. 

"  Of  course  they  know  him.  He  has  the  best  and 
plainest  earmark  in  the  world." 

"  Pretty  close  shoot  that,  anyhow." 

The  result  of  this  conversation  was,  that  in  the  fur 
ther  movement  the  Doctor  led  his  horse  during  the 
day. 

The  firing  ceased  with  no  damage,  save  the  bruises 
of  the  Doctor,  and  those  received  by  our  tonguey  lit 
tle  Corporal,  who  asserted  that  the  windage  of  a  shell 
knocked  him  off  a  fence.  As  he  fell  into  a  stone 
heap,  it  is  more  than  probable  that  he  had  some  good 
reason  for  the  movement — besides,  why  cannot  Cor 
porals  suffer  from  wounds  of  that  kind,  frequently  so 
fashionable  among  officers  of  higher  grade  ? 

The  onward  movement  was  resumed.  In  the 
course  of  half  an  hour  the  cannonading  again  opened, 


94  RED-TAPE  AND 

interspersed  with  occasional  volleys  of  muskefoy. 
The  rattling  of  musketry  became  incessant.  Advanc 
ing  under  cover  of  rocky  bluffs,  the  shells  passed 
harmlessly  over  the  Brigade.  We  soon  ascertained 
that  the  Rebels  had  made  a  stand  at  a  point  where 
our  advance,  from  the  character  of  the  country,  neces 
sarily  narrowed  into  the  compass  of  a  strip  of  mea 
dow-land.  Here  a  brigade  of  Rebel  infantry  were 
drawn  up  in  line  of  battle.  Their  batteries  posted  on 
a  neighboring  height,  were  guided  by  signals,  the 
country  not  admitting  of  extended  observation.  The 
contest  was  brief.  The  gleam  of  the  bayonets  as  they 
fell  for  the  charge,  broke  the  Rebel  line,  and  they 
retired  .in  considerable  confusion  to  the  wood  in  their 
rear.  Our  batteries  soon  shelled  them  from  those 
quarters,  and  the  advance  continued— the  skirmish 
ers  of  both  sides  keeping  up  a  rattling  fire.  Some 
Rebel  earth-works  were  passed,  and  late  in  the  after 
noon  the  track  of  the  Baltimore  and  Ohio  railroad 
was  crossed.  The  Rebels,  before  leaving,  had  done 
their  utmost  to  complete  the  destruction  of  that  much, 
abused  road.  At  intervals  of  every  one  hundred 
yards,  piles  of  ties  surmounted  by  rails  were  upon 
fire.  These  were  thrown  down  by  our  men.  About 
half  a  mile  beyond  the  road,  in  a  finely  sodded  val 
ley,  the  troops  were  halted  for  the  night,  pickets 
posted,  and  the  men  prepared  their  meals  closely  in 
the  rear  of  their  stacks.  The  night  jvas  a  pleasant 
one.  An  open  air  encampment  upon  such  a  night  is 
one  of  the  finest  phases  of  a  soldier's  life.  Meals  over, 
the  events  of  the  day  were  discussed,  or  such  matters 
as  proved  of  interest  to  the  different  groups. 

One  group  we  must  not  pass  unnoticed.  The 
majority  lounged  lazily  upon  the  grass,  some  squatted 
upon  their  knapsacks,  while  a  large  stone  was  given 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  95 

by  common  consent  to  a  tall,  fine-looking  Lieutenant, 
the  principal  officer  present. 

"  Corporal,"  said  be,  addressing  the  little  Irish  Cor 
poral,  "  do  you  know  how  near  we  are  to  Martins- 
burg?" 

"  Faith  I  don't,  Lieutenant." 

"  I  do  not  know  the  exact  distance  myself,  but  we 
are  not  over  three  or  four  miles  from  the  road  that 
we  took  when  we  guarded  the  ammunition  train 
from  Martinsburg  to  Charlestown." 

"  Oh,  it's  the  ould  First  ye  are  spaking  about,  is  it  ? 
Ov  coorse  I  ricollect  Martinsburg,  and  the  markit- 
house  where  I  guarded  the  fifty  nagurs  that  Gineral 
Patterson  had  ordered  to  be  arrested  for  having 
stripes  on  their  pantaloons,  Uncle  Sam's  buttons  on 
their  caps,  and  belts  with  these  big  brass  U.  S.  plates 
on.  Oh,  but  it  was  a  swate  crowd.  The  poor  divils 
were  crowded  like  cattle  on  cars,  and  it  was  one  of 
the  hot  smothering  nights.  I  couldn't  help  thinking 
that  by  and  by,  if  our  armies  didn't  move  faster,, the 
nagurs  would  have  little  trouble  gettin'  into  uniforms. 
They  have  a  nat'ral  concate  about  such  things.  One 
poor  fellow  rolled  the  whites  of  his  eyes  awfully,  and 
almost  cried  when  I  ordered  him  out  of  his  red 
breeches." 

"  The  day  has  not  come  yet,  and  need  not,"  rejoined 
the  Lieutenant,  "  if  our  generals  do  their  duty.  Don't 
you  recollect  how  we  were  hurried  from  Frederick, 
and  after  marching  seven  miles  out  of  the  way,  made 
good  time  for  all  to  Williamsport — how  bayonets  ap 
peared  to  glisten  upon  every  road  leading  into  the 
town ;  and  then  our  crossing  the  river,  the  band  all 
the  while  playing  ( The  Star-spangled  Banner,'  and 
the  march  we  made  to  Martinsburg,  passing-  over  the 
ground  where  the  battle  of  Falling  Waters  had  but  a 


98  RED-TAPE   AND 

few  days  before  been  fought?  If  that  battle  had  been 
followed  up  as  it  should  have  been,  Johnson  would 
never  have  reached  Bull  Run." 

"  Be  jabers !  do  }rou  know,  Lieutenant,  that  that 
fight  was  all  a  mistake  upon  our  part?  Shure,  our 
ginerals  niver  intended  it." 

A  laugh,  with  the  inquiry  "  how  he  knew  that?" 
followed. 

"  Didn't  I  hear  a  Big  Gineral,  that  I  was  acting  as 
orderly  for  while  in  Martinsburg — for  they  made  or 
derlies  of  corporals  thirn  days — tell  a  richly-dressed 
old  lady,  '  That  it  was  our  policy  to  teach  our  mis 
guided  Southern  brethren,  by  an  imposing  show  of 
strength,  how  hopeless  it  would  be  to  fight  against 
the  Government.'  The  lady  said,  '  That  would  save 
much  bloodshed,  would  become  a  Christian  nation  * 
and  would  return  them  as  friends  to  their  old  way  of 
thinking.  '  Yes,  madam  !'  said  the  Gineral,  *  there  is 
no  bitter  feeling  in  our  breasts,'  clasping  his  breast. 
1  The  masses  south  will  soon  see  their  country  sur 
rounded  by  volunteers  in  great  numbers,  and  that  the 
war,  if  protracted,  must  involve  them  all  in  ruin. 
"When  the  war  is  over,  madam,  fanatics  on  both  sides 
can  be  hung.' 

" '  That  was  a  dreadful  affair  at  Falling  Waters, 
General,'  said  the  lady,  with  a  strange  twinkle  in  her 
eyes. 

" '  Yes,  madam,'  replied  the  General,  coloring  up 
to  his  ears,  *  a  blunder  of  some  of  our  volunteer  offi 
cers.  Ordinary  military  prudence  made  us  send  for 
ward  some  force  to  reconnoitre  before  crossing  the 
main  army.  These  troops  were  to  fall  back  if  the 
enemy  appeared  in  force.  Not  understanding  their  or 
ders,  or  carried  away  by  the  excitement  of  the  moment, 
they  engaged  the  enemy  with  the  unfortunate  results 
to  which  you  allude.' 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  9 7 

*» 

"  Av  it  would  have  been  proper  for  a  corporal,  I 
would  have  asked  the  Gineral  what  Johnny  Eeb 
would  do  while  we  were  taching  him  all  that.  Thim's 
the  Grmeral's  exact  words,  for  I  paid  particular  atten 
tion.  I  put  them  thegither  with  what  I  had  heard 
from  a  Wisconsin  boy,  and  I  got  the  whole  history  of 
that  fight." 

"  Let's  have  it,"  shouted  the  crowd,  now  consider 
ably  increased,  "  at  once  1" 

"  Well,  you  see,  they  were  sent  forward  to  recon 
noitre,  as  the  GHneral  said,  and  there  was  a  Wisconsin 
regiment  of  bear  hunters  and  the  like,  and  a  Penn 
sylvania  regiment  of  deer  hunters  and  Susquehannah 
raftsmen  pretty  well  forward.  These  Wisconsin  chaps, 
in  dead  earnest,  brought  their  rifles  along  all  the  way 
from  Wisconsin,  and,  like  the  Susquehannah  fellows, 
they  couldn't  kape  hands  off  the  -trigger  if  there  was 
any  game  about.- 

"  Well,  they  got  to  Falling  Waters  without  stirring 
up  anything  ;  you  recollect,  Lieutenant,  where  that 
rebel  officer  s  house  was  burned  down,  and  then  the 
battery  that  was  along  with  them,  seeing  some  suspi 
cious-looking  Grey  Backs  dodging  in  and  out  of  a 
wood,  let  them  have  a  few  round  of  shells  just  to 
see  whether  they  were  in  force  or  not,  according  to 
orders.  The  Rebs  made  tracks  for  a  low  piece  of 
ground  behind  a  ridge,  and  then  formed  line  of  battle. 
Our  men,  with  a  yell,  went  forward,  and  when  they 
saw  the  Rebs  in  line,  these  two  Colonels,  thinking  they 
had  been  sent  out  to  fight,  and  that  their  men  didn't 
carry  guns  for  nothing,  ordered  them  to  fire;  and  then 
they  ordered  them  to  load  again,  in  order  to  relave 
their  hips  as  much  as  possible  from  the  load  of  ammu 
nition  ;  and  then  they  fired  again ;  and  then,  gittin' 
excited,  and  thinkin'  this  work  too  slow,  and  that  it 

5 


98  RED-TAPE   AND 

^ 

wouldn't  do  to  take  such  bright  bayonets  home,  they 
ordered  a  charge,  and  cheering,  yelling,  and  howling, 
our  boys  went  at  the  Eebs.  The  Kebs  didn't  stand  to 
meet  them,  but  fell  back  behind  a  barn.  The  batteries 
burned  that, — and  then  they  tried  to  form  line  again, 
but  no  use.  As  soon  as  our  fellows  gave  the  yell,  they 
were  off  like  all  possessed.  They  had  prepared  to  run 
by  tearing  the  fences  down  ;  and  then  it  was  trying 
to  form  line,  and  breaking  as  soon  as  our  fellows 
howled  a  little,  all  the  way  for  five  long  miles  to  Mar- 
tinsburg ;  and  the  last  our  boys  saw  of  the  Kebs  was 
their  straight  coat-tails  at  the  south  end  of  the  town. 
And  that  was  the  whole  battle  of  Falling  Waters ; 
and  may  be  Ould  Patterson  wouldn't  have  got  to 
Martinsburg  if  them  Colonels  had  reported  the  Kebs 
in  force,  and  not  got  excited. 

"  But  how  did  you  hear  all  this  ?  You  forget  that 
part  of  it." 

"And  couldn't  you  let  that  go  ?  I  thought  I  could 
concale  that. 

"  Well,  you  know,  Lieutenant,  our  ould  Colonel 
boarded  at  the  Brick  Hotel,  along  the  Kailroad, 
above  where  the  long  strings  of  locomotives  were 
burned,  as  the  Gineral  says,  by  our  *  misguided  south 
ern  friends ;'  and  I  was  about  there  considerably  on 
duty.  One  afternoon,  a  jolly -looking  little  chap,  one 
of  the  Wisconsin  boys,  and  one  after  my  own  heart 
— and  he  proved  it,  too,  by  trating  me  to  several 
drinks — came  along  with  a  Kebel  Artillery  officer's 
coat  under  his  arm.  And  we  looked  at  the  coat,  and 
talked  and  drank,  and  drank  and  talked,  until  the 
Wisconsin  chappy  put  it  on,  just  to  show  me  how  the 
Kebel  officer  looked  in  it.  It  was  a  fine  grey,  trim 
med  with  gold  lace  and  scarlet,  and  the  Wisconsin 
chappy  looked  gay  in  it,  barring  the  sleeves  were 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS. 


several  inches  too  long,  and  the  waist  buttons  came 
down  nearly  a  foot  too  far,  and  it  was  too  big  round 
the  waist.  And  he  showed  me  after  every  drink  what 
he  did  and  what  the  Officer  did, — and,  to  tell  the 
plain  truth,  we  got  a  drop  too  much, — and  the  Wis 
consin  chappy  got  turning  back-hand  springs  against 
the  side  of  the  hotel,  and  I  tried  to  do  the  same,  to  the 
great  sport  of  the  crowd.  But  it  didn't  last  long.  A 
corporal's  guard  took — or  rather  carried — us  to  the 
guard-house,  and  towards  morning,  when  we  sobered 
up,  he  tould  me  the  whole  story." 
"  Pretty  well  put  together,  Terry." 
"  And  the  blissed  truth,  ivery  word  of  it." 
The  night  was  wearing  away — work  before  them  in 
the  morning — and  the  group  dispersed  for  their  blan 
kets,  from  which  we  will  not  disturb  them  until  the 
succeeding  chapter. 


100  RED-TAPE    AND 


CHAPTER  IX. 

Reconnaissance  concluded.  What  we  Saw  and  What  we  didrit 
See,  and  what  the  Good  Public  Read — Pigeon-hole  Generalship 
and  the  Press — The  Preacher  Lieutenant  and  how  he  Recruited 

—  Comparative  Merits  of  Black  Union  Men  and  White  Rebels — 
A  Ground  Blast,  and  its  effect  upon  a  Pigeon-hole  General — 
Staff  Officers  Striking  a  Snag  in  the  Western  Virginia  Captain 

—  Why  the  People  have  a  right  to  expect  active  Army  Move 
ments — Red  Tape  and  the  /Sick  List — Pigeon-holing  at  Division 
Headquarters. 

IN  the  misty  morning  arms  were  taken  and  the 
forward  resumed.  Occasional  Rebel  corpses  passed 
showed  the  work  of  our  sharp-shooters*  In  a  short 
time  the  ground  again  prevented  the  movement  in 
line  of  battle,  and  the  troops  marched  by  the  flank 
over  a  road  well  wooded  on  each  side,  until  they 
reached  what  proved  to  be  the  farthest  point  made  by 
fthe  reconnoissance — a  large  open  plateau,  bounded 
on  the  north  and  west  by  a  wooded  ridge  to  which  it 
gradually  rose,  and  which  was  said  to  border  the 
Oppequan.  On  the  south,  at  an  average  distance  of 
five  hundred  yards  from  the  road,  was  a  strip  of  tim 
ber  land.  Slightly  west  by  south,  but  upon  the  north 
side  of  the  road,  was  a  rise  of  ground,  in  the  rear  of 
which,  but  upon  the  south  side  of  the  road,  were 
a  farmer's  house  and  out-buildings.  The  troops  pur 
sued  their  march  until  the  headtof  the  column  ar- 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  101 

rived  opposite  the  house.  Suspicious-looking  horse 
men  were  discovered  on  the  edge  of  the  woods  that 
crowned  the  ridge.  The  order  was  given  that  the 
troops  should  leave  the  road  and  take  cover  on  its 
south  side,  a  position  not  commanded  by  the  ridge. 
The  order  was  not  executed  before  a  Eebel  officer,  on 
a  white-tailed  dun  horse,  the  tail  particularly  conspic 
uous  against  the  dark  background  of  the  wood,  was 
observed  signalling  to  the  extreme  right  of  what  was 
now  supposed  to  be  the  Kebel  line.  Almost  instantly 
some  half  a  dozen  pieces  of  artillery  were  placed  in 
position,  at  various  points  on  the  brow  of  the  circular 
ridge,  completely  commanding,  in  fact  flanking  our 
position.  Our  troops,  however,  were  not  disturbed, 
although  every  instant  expecting  a  salute  from  the 
batteries,  as  the  range  was  easy  and  direct.  While 
the  troops  were  being  placed  in  position  behind  the 
house  the  batteries  were  posted  on  the  rise.  A  few 
hours  passed  in  this  position.  The  Eebel  batteries  in 
plain  view,  horsemen  continually  emerging  and  disap 
pearing  in  the  wood.  Was  it  the  force  that  we  had 
driven  before  us  ?  or  were  the  Eebels  in  force  upon 
that  ridge,  making  the  Oppequan  their  line  of  defence  ? 
Better  ground  upon  which  to  be  attacked  could  not 
be  chosen.  The  long  distance  to  be  traversed  under 
fire  of  any  number  of  converging  batteries,  would 
have  slaughtered  men  by  the  thousands.  But  again, 
if  the  Eebels  were  in  force,  why  did  they  not  attack 
us  ?  Outflanking  us  was  easy.  With  a  superior  force 
our  retreat  could  easily  be  intercepted,  and  if  we 
escaped  at  all,  it  would  be  with  heavy  loss.  Their 
batteries  threatened,  but  no  firing.  All  was  quiet, 
save  the  noise  made  by  the  men  in  stripping  an 
orchard  in  their  immediate  front,  and  the  commands 
of  their  officers  in  ordering  them  back  to  the  ranks. 


102  RED-TAPE   AND 

The  quiet  was  provoking,  and  all  manner  of  dis 
cussion  as  to  the  Kebel  force,  movements,  etc.,  was 
indulged  in.  Many  contended  that  they  were  but 
threatening — others,  that  they  were  in  force,  that  was 
their  line  of  defence,  and  the  plateau  in  front  their 
battle-ground.  This  decision  the  General  in  com 
mand  seems  to  have  arrived  at,  as  the  flaming  tele 
grams  in  the  Dailies,  in  the  course  of  a  day  or  two, 
announced  that  the  Kebels  were  discovered  in  great 
force,  strongly  posted  in  a  most  defensible  position. 
After  the  lapse  of  an  hour  or  two,  the  order  for  the 
homeward  march  was  given,  and  strange  to  say,  that 
although  marching  by  the  flank  the  last  man  had  dis 
appeared  from  their  view,  behind  the  cover  of  the 
wood,  before  they  opened  fire.  They  then  com 
menced  shelling  the  woods  vigorously,  and  continued 
firing  at  a  respectful  distance,  doing  no  damage,  until 
night  set  in.  In  the  course  of  the  afternoon  it  com 
menced  raining,  and  continued  steadily  throughout 
the  night.  The  troops  encamped  for  the  night  in 
Egyptian  darkness,  and  what  was  worse,  in  a  meadow 
fairly  deluged  with  water. 

"Well,  what  does  all  this  mean?"  inquired  one  of 
a  crowd,  huddled  together,  hooded  by  blanket  and 
oil-cloth,  protecting  themselves  as  best  they  could 
from  the  falling  rain,  for  sleep  was  out  of  question  to 
all  but  the  fortunate  few  who  can  slumber  in  puddles. 

"  What  does  it  all  mean,  Charlie  ?  Why  it  means 
a  blind  upon  Uncle  Abraham  and  his  good  people. 
That's  what  it  means." 

"  Wei),  Lieutenant,  I  am  surprised  that  a  man  of 
your  usual  reserve  and  correct  conversation,  should 
talk  in  that  style  about  our  commander." 

u  Sergeant,  it  is  high  time  that  not  only  individu 
als,  whether  reserved  or  not,  but  the  people  at  large 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  103 

should  denounce  this  delay  that  is  wearing  out  the 
life  of  the  nation.  Weeks  have  passed  since  the 
battle  of  Antietam,  and  after  repeated  urgings  on  the 
part  of  the  President,  and  repeated  promises  on  the 
part  of  our  commander,  we  have  this  beggarly  apology 
for  a  movement.  Yes,  sir,  apology  for  a  movement. 
To-morrow's  Dailies  will  tell  in  flaming  capitals, 
how  the  Rebels  were  posted  in  large  force  in  a  strong 
position,  and  in  line  of  battle  upon  the  Oppequan, 
intimating  thereby  that  further  delay  will  be  unavoid 
able  to  make  our  army  equal  to  a  movement.  Now 
this  humbugging  an  earnest  people  is  unfair,  un 
worthy  of  a  great  commander,  and  if  he  be  hum 
bugged  himself  again  as  with  the  Quaker  guns  at 
Manassas,  the  sooner  the  country  knows  it  the  better 
for  its  credit  and  safety.  How  can  any  living  man 
tell  that  the  batteries  we  saw  to-day  upon  the  ridge, 
are  not  the  batteries  we  drove  before  us  yesterday  ? 
The  probability  is  that  they  are." 

The  speaker,  as  intimated  by  the  Sergeant,  was  a 
man  of  reserve,  quiet,  and  to  the  last  degree  inoffen 
sive  in  his  manner.  A  professing  Christian,  consist 
ent  in,  and  not  ashamed  of  his  profession,  he  had  the 
respect  of  his  command,  and  a  friend  in  every  ac 
quaintance  in  the  regiment.  Educated  for  the  min 
istry,  he  threw  aside  his  theological  text  books  on  the 
outbreak  of  the  Eebellion,  and  bringing  into  requisi 
tion  some  earlier  lessons  learned  at  a  Military  Acade 
my,  he  opened  a  recruiting  list  with  the  zeal  of  a 
Puritan.  It  was  not  circulated,  as  is  customary,  in 
bar-rooms,  but  taking  it  to  a  rural  district,  he  called 
a  meeting  in  the  Township  Church,  and  in  the  faith 
of  a  Christian  and  the  earnestness  of  a  patriot,  he 
eloquently  proclaimed  his  purpose  and  the  righteous 
ness  of  the  war.  Success  on  a  smaller  scale,  but  like 


104  BED-TAPE  AND 

that  of  Peter  the  Hermit,  followed  his  endeavor,  and 
his  quota  of  the  Company  was  soon  made  up  by  the 
enlistment  of  nearly  every  able-bodied  young  man  in 
the  Township.  His  recruits  fairly  idolized  him,  and 
in  their  rougher  and  more  unlettered  way,  were 
equally  earnest  advocates  of  the  suppression  of  the 
Eebellion  by  any  and  every  means. 

"Your  Abolitionism  will  crop  out  from  time  to 
time,  like  the  ledges  of  rock  in  the  country  we 
have  just  been  passing  through,"  said  a  Junior 
Lieutenant. 

"  Call  it  Abolitionism,  or  what  you  will,"  replied 
his  Senior.  "  I  am  for  the  suppression  of  the  Rebel 
lion  by  the  speediest  means  possible.  I  am  for  the 
abolition  of  everything  in  the  way  of  its  suppression." 

"You  would  abolish  the  Constitution,  I  suppose, 
if  you  thought  it  in  the  way." 

"  I  would  certainly  amend  the  Constitution,  had  I 
the  power,  to  suit  the  exigencies  of  the  times.  What 
is  the  Constitution  worth  without  a  country  for  it  to 
control ?" 

"  There  it  comes.     Anything  to  ease  the  nigger." 

"  Yes,  sir,  I  thank  God  that  this  Eebellion  strikes  a 
death-blow  at  slavery.  That  wherever  a  Federal 
bayonet  gleams  in  a  slave  State,  we  can  see  a  gleam 
of  eternal  truth  lighting  up  the  gloom  of  slavery. 
The  recent  Proclamation  of  the  President  was  all  that 
was  needed  to  place  our  cause  wholly  upon  the  rock 
of  God's  justice,  and  on  that  base  the  gates  of  the 
hell  of  slavery  and  treason  combined,  shall  not  pre 
vail  against  it." 

"  Preaching  again,  Lieutenant,"  said  our  Western 
Virginia  Captain,  who  was  the  Lieutenant's  Senior 
officer,  as  he  strolled  leisurely  toward  the  crowd.  "  I 
tell  you,  Lieutenant,  if  Old  Abe  don't  make  better 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  105 

i 

preparations  to  carry  out  his  Proclamation,  he  had 
better  turn  Chinese  General  at  once." 

"  Give  him  time,  Captain.  January  1  may  bring 
preparations  that  we  little  dream  of.  At  any  rate,  it 
places  us  in  a  proper  position  before  the  world. 
What  ground  had  we  to  expect  sympathy  from  the 
anti-slavery  people  of  Europe,  when  we  made  no 
effort  to  release  the  millions  enslaved  in  the  South 
from  bondage  ?" 

"  As  far  as  Busing  the  negroes  as  soldiers-  is  con 
cerned,  it  seems  a  day  behind  the  fair.  It  should 
have  been  issued  earlier.  Why,  we  could  have  had 
them  by  thousands  in  Western  Virginny,  and  officers 
in  our  regiment,  who  were  with  him,  tell  me  that 
Patterson  could  have  mustered  an  army  of  them. 
Instead  of  that  they  were  driven  from  his  lines,  and 
when  they  brought  him  correct  information  as  to  the 
Eebels  at  Winchester,  i t  was 'don't  believe  the  d — d 
nigger,'  and  all  this  while  he  dined  and  wined  with 
the  Rebel  nabobs  about  Charlestown.  Boys,  we  com 
menced  this  war  wrong.  I'm  a  Democrat,  and  al 
ways  have  been  one ;  but  I'm  not  afraid  to  say  that 
we've  all  along  been  trying  our  best  to  make  enemies 
of  the  only  real  friends  we  have  inside  of  Rebel  lines. 
Now,  I  don't  like  the  nigger  better  than  some  of  my 
neighbors;  but  in  my  opinion,  a  black  Union  man 
is  better  than  a  white  Rebel  any  day.  To  say  nothing 
of  their  fighting,  why  don't  our  Generals  use  them  as 
servants,  and  why  are  they  not  our  teamsters  and 
laborers  ?  Look  at  our  able-bodied  men  detailed  for 
servants  about  Pigeon-hole's  Headquarters." 

"Well,  Captain,"  interrupted  the  Sergeant,  "Pigey 
has  a  big  establishment,  and  see  if  the  papers  don't 
make  him  out  a  big  General  for  this  daring  reconnois- 


eance." 


106  BED-TAPE    AND 

"This  daring  tomfoolery!  If  he'd  come  back  to 
old  Rosecrans  with  his  story  about  a  few  pieces  of  ar 
tillery  posted  on  a  ridge,  Rosy  would  want  to  know 
why  the  d — 1  he  didn't  find  out  what  was  behind 
them." 

"  He  showed  great  experience  a  few  weeks  ago,"  con 
tinued  the  Sergeant,  "  when  the  Western  fellows  let 
off  one  of  their  ground  blasts.  *  Where  did  that  shell 
explode?'  inquired  Pigey,  galloping  up  with  his  staff 
and  orderlies  to  our  Regimental  Headquarters.  '  I 
heard  no  shell,'  says  the  Colonel.  'Nor  I,'  says  the 
Lieut.-Colonel.  *  I  did  hear  a  ground  blast,'  said  the 
Lieut.-Colonel,  '  such  as  the  boys  in  the  Regiment  be 
low  occasionally  make  from  the  rebel  cartridges  they 
find.'  *  Ground  blast !  h — 1 !'  says  the  General,  exci 
tedly,  his  eyes  flashing  from  under  his  crooked  cocked 
hat;  *  Don't  you  think  that  an  officer  of  my  experi 
ence  and  observation  would  be  able  to  distinguish  the 
explosion  of  a  shell  from  that  of  a  ground  blast?' 
'No  shell  exploded,  General,'  said  the  Colonel,  *  with 
in  the  limits  of  my  regiment.'  l  The  d — 1  it  didn't — 
would  you  have  me  disbelieve  my  own  ears  ?  Now, 
I  have  issued  orders  enough  about  permitting  these 
unexploded  shells  to  lie  about,  and  I  purpose  holding 
the  Colonels  responsible  for  all  damage.  Suppose 
that  explosion  was  heard  at  corps  headquarters,  as  it 
doubtless  was,  and  the  inquiry  is  made  from  what 
quarter  the  rebels  threw  the  shell,  what  reply  am  I, 
as  the  commanding  General  of  this  division,  to  make  ?' 

"  '  Tell  them  that  it  was  a  ground  blast,'  said  a  Sec 
ond  Lieutenant,  politely  saluting.  1 1  have  just  been 
down  and  saw  the  hole  it  made.' 

"'You  saw  the  hole!  and  just  below  here!  The 
d — 1  you  did!  D — n  the  ground  blasts!'  and  the 
General  turned  his  horse's  head  and  started  towards 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  107 

division  headquarters  at  a  full  gallop,  followed  by  his 
grinning  staff." 

"  He's  not  to  blame  so  much,  boys,"  remarked  the 
Captain.  "  He  was  a  quiet  clerk  in  the  Topographi 
cal  Department  when  the  war  broke  out,  I've  been 
told,  and  I've  no  doubt  he  dusted  the  pigeon-holes  in 
his  charge  carefully,  and  folded  the  papers  neatly. 
When  McClellan  looked  about  for  material  to  fill  up 
his  big  staff  with,  who  was  so  well  calculated  to  at 
tend  to  the  topography  of  his  battle-fields,  considering 
that  he  fought  so  few,  and  most  of  those  he  had  to 
fight  on  the  Peninsula,  the  rebels  got  next  day,  as 
our  Division  General.  Now,  as  Little  Mac  is  not 
particularly  noted  for  close  acquaintance  with  rebel 
shells,  the  General  has  had  small  chance  of  knowing 
what  kind  of  noise  they  do  make  when  they  burst. 
His  great  blunder,  or  rather,  the  Government's,  is  his 
taking  command  of  a  division,  if  it  has  but  two  bri 
gades.  I  heard  a  Major  say  he  had  greatness  thrust 
upon  him.  He's  a  small  man  in  a  big  place.  West 
Point  has  turned  out  some  big  men,  like  Rosecrans, 
Grant,  Hooker,  and  many  others  that  are  a  credit  to 
the  country — men  of  genuine  talent,  who  have  none 
of  those  foolish  prejudices,  that  the  regulars  are  the 
only  soldiers,  and  that  volunteers  are  a  mere  make 
shift,  that  can't-be  depended  upon.  And  West  Point, 
like  all  other  institutions,  has  had  its  share  of  small 
men,  that  come  from  it  with  just  brains  enough  to 
carry  a  load  of  prejudice  against  volunteers  and  the 
volunteer  service,  and  a  very  little  knowledge  of  the 
ordinary  run  of  military  matters.  An  officer  of  real 
ability  will  never  be  a  slave  to  prejudice.  These 
small  men  are  the  Red-Tapists  of  the  army — the 
Pigeon-Hole-Paper  Generals,  and  being  often  elevated 
and  privileged  unduly,  because  they  are  from  West 


108  BED-TAPE   AND 

Point,  they  play  the  very  devil  in  their  commands. 
Our  corps  commander,  who  was  a  teachei4  there,  has 
brought  a  full  share  of  the  last  kind  into  the  corps. 

"  I  wander  about  a  good  deal  among  other  camps  of 
this  corps,  pick  up  information  and  make  myself  ac 
quainted  without  standing  on  ceremony.  I  never 
wait  for  that.  I  always  had  a  habit  of  doing  it,  and 
I  honestly  believe,  from  what  I  see  and  hear,  there 
has  been  a  studied  effort,  from  some  high  commander, 
to  teach  these  young  regular  officers  treason, — yes, 
boys,  treason, — because  when  a  man  tells  me  that  we 
can't  conquer  the  Rebels,  and  that  after  a  while  we'll 
have  to  make  peace,  etc.,  I  set  him  down  for  a  trai 
tor  ;  he  is  aiding  andi/abetting  the  enemies  of  his  coun 
try.  If  that  ain't  treason  I'd  like  to  know  what  is." 

"  The  Captain  headed  off  a  lot  of  young  regu 
lars  the  other  evening  a  little  the  prettiest,"  said  the 
Sergeant. 

"Let's  have  it!"  said  a  dozen  in  the  crowd,  now 
considerably  increased. 

"  The  Captain,"  continued  the  Sergeant,  "  had  asked 
me  to  take  a  walk  with  him  after  dress-parade,  and 
we  strolled  along  the  Sharpsburg  road  towards  Corps 
Headquarters.  As  we  got  just  beyond  the  house  and 
barn  where  the  Rebel  wounded  are,  we  came  upon  a 
crowd  of  officers,  commissioned  and  non-commis 
sioned,  and  some  privates.  A  quite  young  officer, 
with  a  milk-and-water  face  and  a  moustache  like  mil 
dew  on  a  damp  Hardee,  was  talking  very  excitedly 
about  the  Administration  not  appreciating  General 
McClellan  ;  that  there  wasn't  intellect  enough  there  to 
appreciate  a  really  great  military  genius;  that  Euro 
pean  officers  praised  him  as  our  greatest  General,  and 
that  even  the  Rebel  officers  said  that  they  feared  him 
more  than  any  of  our  Commanders ;  and  yet  all  the 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  109 

while  the  Abolition  Administration  tied  his  hands  and 
fettered  his  movements,  and  all  because  Little  Mac 
wasn't  crazy  enough  to  say  that  the  Rebels  could  be 
subjugated  and  their  armies  exterminated,  as  some 
fanatical  Regulars  and  nearly  all  the  Volunteer  offi 
cers  pretend  to  say.  *  Now,  I  believe,'  said  the  offi 
cer,  thrusting  his  thumbs  between  his  armpits  and  his 
vest,  and  puffing  out  his  breast  pompously, 1 1  believe.5 
as  Little  Mac  says,  "  we  can  drive  them  to  the  wall ;" 
we  can  lessen  the  limits  of  their  country ;  but,  gentle 
men,  after  all,  there  will  have  to  be  a  peace.' 

" I  thought,"  said  the  Sergeant,  "the  Captain  was 
going  to  break  in  upon  him  here.  He  threw  back  his 
cap  till  the  rim  was  on  top  of  his  head,  rammed  his 
hands  into  his  pockets,  and  edged  his  way  a  little  fur 
ther  into  the  crowd,  towards  the  speaker;  but  he 
didn't,  and  the  speaker  went  on  to  say : 

"  '  There  are  the  people,  too,  crazy  about  a  forward 
movement.  Why  don't  they  come  down  and  shoul 
der  muskets  themselves?' 

"  The  Captain  could  hold  in  no  longer.  He  drew 
his  hands  out  of  his  pockets,  straightened  them  along 
his  side,  like  a  game  rooster  stretching  his  wings  just 
before  a  fight,  and  sidling  up  to  the  officer,  looking  at 
him  out  of  the  corner  of  his  eye,  he  burst  out — 

"  'Why  don't  they  shoulder  muskets  themselves? 
I'll  tell  you  why, — because  we  are  here  to  do  it  for 
them.  They  have  sent  us,  they  pay  us,  and  they've 
a  right  to  talk,  and  I  hope  they  will  talk.  Anything 
like  a  decent  forward  movement  of  this  Corps  would 
have  saved  the  disgrace  of  the  second  Bull  Run  battle. 
We  all  know  how  the  Corps  lagged  along  the  road 
side,  .and  the  Rebel  cannon  all  the  while  thundering 
in  the  ears  of  its  Commander.' 

"  'A  Yolunteer  officer,  I  suppose,'  said  the  young 


110  BED-TAPE   AND 

officer,  somewhat  sneeringly.   "  Where  have  you  ever 
seen  service  ?" 

"  '  Yes,  sir,  a  Volunteer  officer,'  said  the  Captain 
straightening  up,  facing  full  the  officer,  and  eyeing 
him  until  his  face  grew  paler.  '  Where  have  I  seen 
service  ?  In  Mexico,  as  private  in  the  4th  Regular 
Artillery,  while  you  were  eating  pap  with  a  spoon, 
you  puppy !  You  had  better  have  stayed  at  that  busi 
ness ;  it  was  an  honest  one,  at  any  rate,  and  Uncle 
Sam  would  have  been  saved  some  pay  that  you  draw, 
while,  like  a  dishonest  sneak,  you  preach  treason." 

'"How  dare  you  insult  a  Regular  officer?'  said  a 
gold-striped,  dandified  fellow,  as  he  twisted  the  ends 
of  his  moustache  into  rat-tails. 

"  'Who  the  d — 1  are  you?'  said  the  Captain,  turning 
on  him  so  suddenly  that  the  officer  commenced  to 
back;  *  with  your  gold  lace  on  your  shoulders  that 
may  mean  anything  or  nothing.  What  are  you  any 
how  ?  Captain  ?  Lieutenant  ?  Clerk  ?  or  Orderly  ? 
Those  straps  are  a  good  come  off,  boys.'  The  crowd 
laughed.  'I  suppose  he  thinks  he's  a  staff  officer." 

"  '  I  am,  and  a  Lieutenant  in  the  Regular  army/ 
said  the  officer  angrily,  and  giving  the  word  '  Regular  J 
the  full  benefit  of  his  voice. 

"  *  Regular  and  be  d — d,'  retorted  the  Captain.  ( I 
want  you  both  to  understand  that  I  am  a  Captain  in 
the  Volunteer  service  of  the  United  States  ;  that  that 
service  is  by  Act  of  Congress  on  a  footing  with  the 
Regular  service,  and  that  I'll  always  talk  in  this  style 
when  I  hear  treason.  I  am  the  superior  officer  of  you 
both,  and  have  a  right  to  talk  to  you.  I've  been  in 
service  since  the  Rebellion  broke  out,  and  by  the 
mother  of  Moses,  I  never  heard  treason  preached  by 
officers  in  Uncle  Sam's  uniform  till  I  got  into  this 
Corps.  It  makes  my  blood  boil,  and  I  won't  stand  it. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  Ill 

Pretty  doctrine  you  are  trying  to  teach  these  soldiers ; 
but  I  know  by  their  faces  they  understand  the  matter 
better  than  you,  and  you  can't  do  them  any  damage.7 
'That's  so,'  sang  out  several  of  the  crowd.  'You  fel 
lows  all  talk  alike.  I  have  heard  dozens  of  you  talk 
in  the  same  way,  and  I  believe  your  ideas  are  stocked 
from  a  higher  source.  There  is  something  wrong  in 
the  head  of  this  Grand  Army  of  the  Potomac.  The 
way  it's  managed,  grand  only  in  reviews.' 

"  *  We  shall  report  you,  sir,'  said  the  Hat-tailed 
Moustache,  l  for  speaking  disrespectfully  of  your  su 
perior  officers.' 

"  *  Report  as  quick  as  you  please.  About  that  time 
you'll  find  another  report  at  the  War  Department, 
against  two  Regular  Lieutenants,  for  speaking  dis 
couraging  and  disloyal  sentiments.' 

"  *  A  Volunteer  officer  would  stand  a  big  chance  at 
the  Department  making  a  complaint  against  Regulars,' 
said  the  officer,  as  they  both  backed  out  of  the  crowd, 
followed  by  a  couple  of  non-commissioned  officers 
and  privates. 

"  *  Yon  d — d  butterflies,"  roared  the  Captain  after 
them.  'I'll  bet  ten  dollars  to  one  that  you  only 
stayed  in  service  when  the  war  broke  out,  because 
you  thought  you  could  trust  greenbacks  better  than 
Confederate  scrip.' 

"  *  You  shall  hear  from  us,'  replied  Rat-tail,  as  they 
walked  on. 

"  *  Am  ready  to  hear  from  both  at  once  now,  you 
cowardly  sneaks,'  sang  out  the  Captain.  *  Don't 
believe  you  ever  smelt  powder,  or  ever  will,  if  you  can 
help  it.' 

14 '  Boys/  said  the  Captain,  who  had  the  sympathies 
of  the  crowd  that  remained  strongly  with  him.  '  These 
shallow-brained  fellows  and  some  older  ones  that 


112  RED-TAPE    AND 

wear  stars,  that  havn't  head  enough  to  cut  loose  from 
the  Red-tape  prejudice  against  us  Volunteers,  are  a 
curse  to  the  Army  of  the  Potomac.  Is  it  any  wonder 
that  this  Grand  Army,  burdened  with  squirts  of  that 
stripe,  is  a  burlesque  and  a  disgrace  to  the  country  for 
its  inefficiency.  In  the  West,  where  Eegular  officers, 
unprejudiced,  go  hand  in  hand  with  Volunteers,  we 
make  progress.  But  what's  the  use  of  talking,  the 
body  won't  move  right  if  the  heart's  rotten.' 

"  '  True  as  preachin','  said  one  of  the  men,  and  the 
sentiment  seemed  approved  by  the  crowd,  as  we  gra- 
-dually  took  up  the  homeward  step." 

"Has  the  Sergeant  •  told  'the  whole  truth/  and 
nothing  but  the  truth  ?"  inquired  a  Lieutenant,  a 
lawyer  at  home,  of  the  Captain. 

uYes,  sir,"  replied  the  Captain  firmly,  "and  I'll 
stick  by  the  whole  df  it,  and  a  good  deal  more." 

•"  Well,  I've  been  slow  about  believing  many  state 
ments  that  I  have  heard,"  continued  the  Lieutenant ; 
"  but  to-day  I  heard  some  facts  from  a  Colonel  in  the 
Second  Brigade  that  fairly  staggered  me.  His  Regi 
ment,  through  some  Red-tape  informality,  has  been 
without  tents.  In  consequence,  considerable  sickness, 
principally  fever,  has  prevailed.  Some  time  ago  he 
made  a  request  to  Division  Head-quarters,  for  permis 
sion  to  clean  out  and  use  the  white  house  that  stands 
near  his  Regiment,  and  that,  until  lately,  was  full  of 
wounded  rebels,  as  a  hospital.  Corps  Head-quarters 
must  be  heard  from.  After  considerable  delay,  the 
men  in  the  meanwhile  sickening  and  dying,  the  request 
was  denied.  The  sickness,  through  the  rains,  increased, 
and  the  application  was  renewed  with  like  success. 
The  owner,  who  was  a  Rebel  sympathizer,  was  op 
posed,  and  other  like  excuses,  that  in  the  urgency  of 
the  case  should  not  have  been  considered  at  all,  were 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  113 

given.  The  sickness  became  alarming  in  extent. 
The  Regiment  was  entirely  without  shelter,  save  that 
made  from  the  few  pine  boughs  to  be  had  in  the 
neighborhood.  The  Colonel  took  some  boards  that 
the  rebels  had  spared  from  the  fence  surrounding  the 
house,  and  with  them  endeavored  to  increase  the  com 
fort  of  the  men.  In  the  course  of  a  dajr  or  two,  a  bill 
was  sent  to  him  from  Head-quarters,  with  every  board 
charged  at  its  highest  value,  with  the  request  to  pay, 
and  with  notice  that  in  failure  of  immediate  payment 
the  amount  would  be  charged  upon  his  pay-roll.  This 
treatment  disgusted  the  Colonel,  who  is  a  gentleman 
of  high  tone  and  the  kindliest  feelings,  and  angered  by 
the  heartlessness  that  denied  him  'proper  shelter  for 
his  sick,  now  increased  to  a  number  frightfully  large, 
with  a  heavy  share  of  mortality,  he  cut  red-tape,  sent 
over  a  detail  to  the  house,  had  it  cleansed  of  Rebel 
filth,  and  filled  it  with  the  sick.  The  poor  fellows 
were  hardly  comfortable  in  their  new  quarters,  before 
an  order  came  from  Division  Head-quarters  for  their 
immediate  removal. 

"  '  I  have  no  place  to  take  them  to ;  they  are  sick, 
and  must  be  under  shelter,'  was  the  Colonel's  reply. 

"  4  The  Commanding  General  of  the  Division  orders 
their  instant  removal,'  was  the  order  that  followed. 

"  '  The  Commanding  General  of  Division  must  take 
the  responsibility  of  their  removal  on  his  own  head,' 
was  the  spirited  reply  of  the  Colonel. 

"  That  evening  towards  sunset,  the  second  edition 
of  Old  Pigeon,  'Squab,'  as  the  boys  called  him, 
rode  up  with  the  air  of  '  one  having  authority,'  and 
in  a  conceited  manner  informed  the  Colonel  that  the 
General  commanding  the  Division  had  directed  him 
to  place  him  under  arrest.  Now  these  things  I  know 
to  be  facts.  I  took  pains  to  inform  myself." 


114  BED-TAPE   AND 

The  Lieutenant's  story  elicited  many  ejaculations 
of  contempt  for  the  heartlessness  of  some  in  high 
places ;  but  they  were  cut  short  by  the  Captain's  stat 
ing  that  he  knew  the  circumstances  to  be  true,  and 
that  Old  Pigeon  stated  the  Colonel  should  wait  for 
his  hospital  tents,  the  requisition  for  which  had  been 
sent  up  months  before.  It  was  shelved  in  some 
pigeon-hole,  and  the  Colonel  was  to  stand  by  and  see 
his  men  sicken  and  die,  while  a  rebel  farmer's  house 
near  by  would  have  saved  many  of  them. 

"But  we're  in  for  it,  boys.  No  use  of  talking. 
Obedience  is  lesson  No.  1  of  the  soldier,  and  you 
know  that  we  must  not  'mutter  or  murmur'  against 
our  Commanding  General,  which  position  Old  Pigey 
so  often  reminds  us  he  holds.  The  old  fellow  half 
suspects  that  if  he  didn't,  we'd  forget  it  from  day  to 
day  ;  for  Lord  knows  there  is  nothing  about  the  man 
but  his  position  to  make  any  one  remember  it.  Now 
I  am  determined  to  have  some  sleep." 

"Sleep!  such  a  night  as  this?"  said  one  of  the 
crowd. 

u  Of  course ;  we'll  need  it  to-morrow,  and  an  old  sol 
dier  ought  to  be  able  to  sleep  anywhere,  in  any  kind 
of  weather." 

The  Captain  left.  There  was  a  partial  dispersing 
of  the  crowd,  but  many  a  poor  fellow  shivered  in  that 
pelting  rain  the  night  long. 

The  morning  found  the  enemy  at  a  respectful  dis 
tance,  and  the  homeward  route  was  quietly  resumed. 
Late  in  the  afternoon  the  advance  entered  Shepherds- 
town.  At  this  time  the  rear  was  shelled  vigorously, 
and  as  the  troops  continued  their  passage  through  the 
town  cavalry  charges  were  made  upon  both  sides. 
That  only  ford  was  again  crossed,  and  the  evening  was 
well  advanced  ere  the  troops  regained  their  camps. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  115 

.  A  day  later,  and  the  Dailies,  through  their  respect 
ive  reporters,  told  an  astonished  public  how  the  bril 
liant  and  daring  reconnoissance  had  discovered  qual 
ities  of  great  generalship  in  a  man  who  but  a  short 
time  before  had  figured  as  a  quiet  literary  man  in  the 
seclusion  of  an  office. 

"And,  be  jabers,"  said  our  little  Irish  Corporal,  on 
hearing  it  read,  "  Uncle  Sam  would  have  gained  by 
paying  him  to  stay  in  that  office." 


116  BED-TAPE  AXD 


CHAPTER  X. 

Departure  from  Sharpsburg  Camp — The  Old  Woman  of  Sandy 
Hook — Harper's  Ferry — South  sewing  Dragon's  Teeth  by 
shedding  Old  John's  Blood — The  Dutch  Doctor  and  the  Boar 
— Beauties  of  Tobacco —  Camp  Life  on  the  Character — Patrick, 
Brother  to  the  Little  Corporal —  General  Patterson  no  Irishman 
—  Guarding  a  Potatoe  Patch  in  Dixie — The  Preacher  Lieute 
nant  on  Emancipation — Inspection  and  dhe  Exhorting  Colonel — 
The  Scotch  Tailor  on  Military  Matters. 

OCTOBER  was  drawing  to  a  close  rapidly,  when, 
at  last,  after  repeated  false  alarms,  the  actual 
movement  of  the  army  commenced.  No  one,  unless 
himself  an  old  campaigner,  can  appreciate  the  feelings 
of  the  soldier  at  the  breaking  up  of  camp.  Anxious 
for  a  change  of  scenery  as  he  may  be,  the  eye  will 
linger  upon  each  familiar  spot,  the  quarters,  the 
parade  ground,  and  rocky  bluff  and  wooded  knoll, 
until  memory's  impress  bears  the  lasting  distinctness 
of  a  lifetime.  Those  leaving  could  not  banish  from 
their  minds,  even  if  disposed,  the  thought  that,  al 
though  but  a  temporary  sojourn  for  them,  it  had 
proved  to  be  the  last  resting-place  of  many  of  their 
comrades.  The  hospital,  more  dreaded  than  the  field, 
had  contributed  its  share  to  the  mounds  that  dotted 
the  hills  from  the  strife  of  Antietam. 

"  There  is  riot  an  atom  of  this  earth 
But  once  was  living  man — " 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  117 

was  a  day  dream,  doubtless,  of  the  poetic  boy  of 
eighteen  ;  but  how  suggestive  it  becomes,  when 
we  consider  how  many  thousands  and  hundreds 
of  thousands  of  mounds  rising  upon  every  hill  in  the 
border  States,  attest  devotion  to  the  cause  of  the  Union, 
or  treason,  in  this  foulest  of  Kebellions. 

The  route  lay,  after  passing  the  village  of  Sharps- 
burg,  through  a  narrow  valley,  lying  cosily  between 
the  spurs  of  two  ridges  that  appeared  to  terminate  at 
the  Ferry.  On  either  hand  the  evidences  of  the  occupa 
tion  of  the  country  by  a  large  army  were  abundant. 
Fences  torn  down,  ground  trampled,  and  fields  desti 
tute  of  herbage.  The  road  bordering  the  canal,  along 
which  is  built  the  straggling  village  of  Sandy  Hook, 
was  crowded  with  the  long  wagon  trains  of  the  dif 
ferent  Corps.  A  soldier  could  as  readily  distinguish  the 
Staff  from  the  Regimental  wagons,  as  the  Staff  them 
selves  from  Regimental  officers.  The  slick,  well  fed 
appearance  of  the  horses  or  mules  of  Staff  teams, 
usually  six  in  number,  owing  to  abundance  of  forage 
and  half  loaded  wagons,  were  in  striking  contrast  with 
the  four  half  fed,  hide-bound  beasts  usually  attached 
to  the  overloaded  Regimental  wagons.  Order  after 
order  for  the  reduction  of  baggage,  that  would  reduce 
field  officers  to  a  small  valise  apiece,  while  many 
line  officers  would  be  compelled  to  march  without  a 
change  of  clothing,  did  not  appear  to  lessen  the  length 
of  Staff  trains.  That  the  transportation  was  unneces 
sarily  extensive,  cannot  be  doubted.  That  the  heav 
iest  reduction  could  have  been  made  with  Head 
quarter  trains,  is  equally  true. 

"  Grey  coats  one  day  and  blue  coats  the  next,"  said 
an  old  woman  clad  in  homespun  grey,  who  came  out 
of  a  low  frame  house  as  the  troops  slowly  made  their 
way  past  the  teams  through  the  village  of  Sandy  Hook. 


118  BED-TAPE  AND 

"  Right  on  this  rock  is  where  General ,  Jackson 
rested  hisself,"  continued  the  old  woman. 

"  Were  there  many  Rebs  about  ?"  inquired  one  of 
the  men. 

"  Right  smart  of  them,  I  reckon ;"  replied  the  old 
woman;  "but  Lord!  what  a  lookin'  set  of  critters. 
Elbows  and  knees  out ;  many  of  them  hadn't  shoes, 
and  half  of  them  that  had  had  their  toes  out.  You 
boys  are  dandies  to  them.  And  tired  too,  and  hungry. 
Gracious !  the  poor  fellows,  when  their  officers  weren't 
about,  would  beg  for  anything  almost  to  eat.  Why, 
my  daughter  Sal  saw  them  at  the  soap-fat  barrel ! 
They  said  they  were  nearly  marched  and  starved  to 
death.  And  their  officers  didn't  look  much  better. 
Lord  I  it  looks  like  a  pic-nic  party  to  see  you  blue 
coats,  with  your  long  strings  of  wagons,  and  all  your 
other  fixins.  You  take  good  care  of  your  bellies,  the 
way  you  haul  the  crackers  and  bacon.  Old  Jackson 
never  waits  for  wagons.  That's  the  way  he  gets 
around  you  so  often." 

"Look  here,  old  woman,"  roared  out  one  of  the  men, 
"you  had  better  dry  up." 

"  Yes,  and  he'll  get  around  you  again,"  continued 
the  old  woman  in  a  louder  key.  "  You  think  you're 
going  to  bag  him,  do  you.  You're  some  on  baggin' ; 
but  he'll  give  you  three  days'  start  and  beat  you  down 
the  valley.  They  acted  like  gentlemen,  too,  didn't 
touch  a  thing  without  leave,  and  you  fellows  have 
robbed  me  of  all  I  have." 

"  They  were  in  '  My  Maryland,'  and  wanted  to  get 
the  people  all  straight,"  suggested  one  of  the  boys. 

The  old  lady  did  not  take  the  hint,  but  kept  on 
berating  the  fresh  men  as  they  passed — taunting  them 
by  disparaging  comparison  with  the  Rebel  troops. 
A  neighbor,  by  informing  them  of  the  fact  of  her 


PIGEOK-HOLE   GEXERALS.  119 

having  two  sons  in  the  Rebel  service,  imparted  the 
secret  of  her  interest. 

And  there  is  the  Ferry,  so  often  pictured,  or 
attempted  to  be,  by  pen  and  pencil.  Either  art  has 
iailed,  and  will  fail,  to  do  justice  to  that  sublimely 
grand  mountain  scenery.  Not  quite  three  years  ago, 
an  iron  old  man,  who  perished  with  the  heroism  of  a 
Spartan,  or  rather,  to  be  just,  the  faith  of  a  Christian  ; 
but  little  more  than  a  year  in  advance  of  the  dawn 
of  the  day  of  his  hope,  centred  upon  this  spot  the 
eyes  of  a  continent.  A  crazy  fanatic,  was  the  cry, 
but— 

"  Thy  scales,  Mortality,  are  just 
To  all  that  pass  away." 

Time  will  reveal  that  it  was  not  the  freak  of  a  mad 
man,  but  rather  a  step  in  the  grand  progress  of  uni 
versal  emancipation,  and  that  Old  John  had  founda 
tions  for  his  purposed  campaign,  quite  as  substantial 
as  those  upon  wnich  better  starred  enterprises  have 
succeeded. 

"  Lor,  Massa^  if  Old  John  had  only  had  these  men," 
said  a  wench  to  one  of  Patterson's  Captains,  as  he 
paused  for  a  few  moments  while  drilling  his  command 
at  Charlestown,  during  that  fruitless  campaign,  so  for 
midable  in  preparation,  and  so  much  more  disgraceful 
than  that  of  Old  John  in  its  termination,  for  the  latter, 
in  his  dying  heroism,  won  the  admiration  of  a  world. 

"  Why,  what  could  Old  John  have  done  with 
them  ?"  replied  the  Captain. 

"  Golly,  Massa,"  said  the  wench,  with  a  knowing 
grin ;  "  he  would  have  walked  right  through  Virginny, 
and  he'd  have  had  plenty  of  help  too.  I  knows, 
many  a  nigger  about  here  that  didn't  say  nuthin', 
would  have  jined  him." 


120  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  Why  didn't  they  join  him  ?" 

"  Lor,  Massa,  they  didn't  know  it  in  time.  Hadn't 
any  chance.  Massa  Wanted  us  to  go  see  him  hung  ; 
but  only  the  youngsters  went.  We  colored  pusson3 
neber  forget  Old  John.  No  sah!" 

The  men  wound  their  way  as  best  they  could  be 
neath  the  precipitous  and  towering  rocks  of  the  Mary 
land  Heights,  through  the  teams  that  blocked  up  the 
road,  and  a  short  distance  above  the  Railroad  Bridge, 
filed  to  the  left,  and  crossed  upon  the  pontoons.  As 
they  passed  the  Engine  House,  the  utmost  endeavors 
of  the  officers  could  not  prevent  a  bulge  to  the  right, 
so  great  was  the  anxiety  to  see  the  scene  of  Old  John's 
heroic  but  hopeless  contest.  Denounced  by  pro-slav 
ery  zealots  as  a  murderer,  by  the  community  at  large 
as  a  fanatic,  who  fifty  years  hence  will  deny  him  hon 
orable  place  in  the  list  of  martyrs  for  the  cause  of 
eternal  truth ! 

The  town  itself  was  almost  a  mass  of  ruins ;  both 
sides,  at  various  stages  of  the  war,  having  endeavored 
to  effect  its  destruction.  Another  pontoon  bridge  was 
crossed,  bridging  the  Shenandoah — sparkling  on  its 
rocky  bed — the  Dancing  Water,  as  termed  by  the  Abo 
rigines,  with  their  customary  graceful  appropriateness. 
To  one  fond  of  mountain  scenery,  and  who  is  not? 
the  winding  road  that  follows  the  Shenandoah  to  its 
junction^  then  charmingly  bends  to  the  course  of  the 
Potomac,  is  intensely  interesting.  But  why  should 
an  humble  writer  weary  the  reader's  patience  by  ex 
patiating  upon  scenery,  the  sight  of  which  Jefferson 
declared  well  worth  a  visit  across  the  Atlantic,  at  a 
day  when  such  visits  were  tedious  three  month  affairs, 
and  uncertain  at  that?  War  now  adds  a  bristling 
horror  to  the  shaggy  mountain  tops,  and  from  the 
hoarse  throats  of  heavy  cannon  often  "leap  from  rock 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  121 

to  rock  the  beetling  crags  among"  well  executed 
counterfeits  of  "  live  thunder." 

The  Potomac  is  followed  but  a  short  distance,  the 
road  winding  by  an  easy  ascent  up  the  mountain 
ridge,  arid  descending  as  easily  into  a  narrow  and 
fruitful  valley.  In  this  valley,  four  miles  from  the 
Ferry,  a  halt  was  ordered,  and  the  Division  rested  for 
the  night  and  succeeding  day,  in  a  large  and  well 
sodded  field. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  our  Brigadier,  in  a  sly,  good- 
humored  way,  as  he  rode  up  to  the  field  officers  of  the 
Regiment,  "the  field  upon  which  you  are  encamped, 
and  all  the  land,  almost  as  far  as  you  can  see,  on  the 
left  of  yon  fence,  belong  to  a  Kebel  now  holding  the 
rank  of  Major  in  the  Rebel  service.  All  I  need  say, 
I  suppose,  gentlemen,"  and  the  General  left  to  com 
municate  the  important  information  to  the  other  Regi 
ments  of  the  Brigade.  As  a  fine  flock  of  sheep, 
some  young  cattle,  a  drove  of  porkers  that  from  a 
rear  view  gave  promise  of  prime  Virginia  hams,  and 
sundry  flocks  of  chickens,  had  been  espied  as  the  men 
marched  into  the  field,  the  General's  remarks  were 
eminently  practical  and  suggestive. 

"  Charlie,  what's  the  state  of  the  larder  ?"  said  the 
Major,  with  his  usual  thoughtf illness,  addressing  the 
cheerful  mess  cook. 

"  Some  boiled  pork  and  crackers.  Poor  show,  sir !" 
Such  fare,  after  a  hard  day's  march,  in  sight  of  a  liv 
ing  paradise  of  beef,  mutton,  pork,  and  poultry,  would 
have  been  perfectly  inexcusable;  and  forthwith,  the 
Major,  "the  little  Dutch  Doctor,"  and  a  short,  stoutly- 
built  Lieutenant,  all  armed  to  the  teeth,  started  off  to 
reconnoitre,  and  ascertain  in  what  position  the  Rebel 
property  was  posted.  As  they  went  they  canvassed 
the  respective  merits  of  beef,  mutton,  pork  and  poul- 

6 


122  BED-TAPE  AND 

try,  until  a  short  grunt  from  a  porker,  as  he  crossed 
the  Doctor's  path,  ended  the  discussion.  The  Major 
and  Lieutenant  cocked  their  pistols,  but  withheld  tir 
ing,  as  they  saw  the  Doctor  prostrate,  holding  by  both 
hands  the  hind  leg  of  a  patriarch  of  the  flock. 

"Oh,  Heavens  !  we  don't  want  that  old  boar!"  cried 
out  at  once  both  the  Major  and  Lieutenant. 

"Goot  meat,  make  strong,  goot  for  health,  very," 
said  the  Doctor,  holding  on  with  the  grasp  of  a  vice, 
while  the  boar  fairly  dragged  him,  face  to  the  ground, 
"after  the  manner  of  all  creeping  things."  The 
Doctor  was  in  a  fix.  Help  his  companions  would  not 
give.  He  could  not  hold  the  boar  by  one  hand  alone. 
After  being  considerably  bruised,  he  was  compelled  to 
release  his  hold,  to  his  intense  disgust,  which  he 
evinced  as  he  raised  himself  up,  puffing  like  a  por 
poise,  by  gesticulating  furiously,  and  muttering  a  jar 
gon  in  which  the  only  thing  intelligible  was  the  oft- 
repeated  word,  "  tarn."  A  well-directed  shot  from  the 
Major,  shortly  afterwards,  brought  down  a  royal 
"Virginia  mutton,"  as  the  camp  phrase  is.  Another 
from  the  Lieutenant  grazed  the  rear  of  a  fine  young 
porker's  ham ;  but  considerable  firing,  a  long  chase, 
and  many  ludicrous  falls  occurred,  before  that  pig  was 
tightly  gripped  between  the  legs  of  the  Lieutenant. 

The  expedition  was  so  successful  that  the  aid  of 
some  privates  was  called  in  to  help  carry  to  quarters 
the  rich  spoils  of  the  chase.  As  for  the  Doctor, — after 
the  refusal  of  assistance  in  his  struggle,  he  walked 
homeward  in  stately  but  offended  dignity,  and  shocked 
the  Chaplain,  as  he  was  occasionally  in  the  habit  of 
doing,  by  still  muttering  "tarn." 

A  person  enjoying  the  comforts  of  home,  testy  as 
to  the  broiling  of  a  mutton-chop  perhaps,  for  real,  un 
alloyed  enjoyment  of  appetite  should  form  one  of  a 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  123 

camp  circle,  toasting,  at  a  blazing  fire,  as  the  shades 
of  evening  gather  round,  steaks  freshly  cut  with  a 
camp-knife  from  flesh  that  quivered  with  remaining 
life  but  a  moment  before,  assisting  its  digestion  by 
fried  Hardees,  and  washing  both  down  by  coffee  inno 
cent  of  cream.  That  is  a  feast,  as  every  old  cam 
paigner  will  testify ;  but  to  be  properly  appreciated  a 
good  appetite  is  all  essential.  To  attain  that,  should 
other  resources  fail,  the  writer  can*  confidently  recom 
mend  a  march,  say  of  about  fifteen  miles,  over  rough 
or  dusty  roads. 

And  then,  as  the  appetites  of  the  men  are  sated  by 
the  hardy  provender  of  Uncle  Sam,  varied,  as  in  this 
instance,  by  Virginia  venison,  and  they  respectively 
fall  back  and  take  to 

"  Sublime  Tobacco  I  glorious  in  a  pipe  ;" 

_what  more  pleasant  than  the  discussion  of  the 
doings  of  the  day,  or  of  the  times,  the  recital  of  oft- 
repeated  and  ever-gaining  yarns,  or  the  heart-stirring 
strains  of  national  ballads,  while  each  countenance  is 
lit  with  the  ever-varying  glow  of  the  fire. 

Upon  this  evening  not  only  Headquarters  but  the 
Kegiment  was  exultant  in  the  feast  upon  the  fat  of  a 
rebellious  land.  To  add  to  their  comfort  several  large 
stacks  of  hay  and  straw  had  been  deprived  of  their 
fair  proportions,  and  preparations  had  been  made  for 
the  enjoyment  of  rest  upon  beds  that,  kings  would 
envy,  could  they  but  have  the  sleepers'  sound  repose. 

The  morrow  had  been  set  apart  as  a  day  of  rest — a 
fact  known  to  the  Regiment,  and  their  fireside  enjoy 
ment  was  accordingly  prolonged. 

The  camp,  more  than  any  other  position  in  life,  de 
velops  the  greatest  inconsistencies  in  poorliuman  na 
ture.  The  grumbler  of  the  day's  march  is  very  fre- 


124  RED-TAPE    AND 

quently  the  joker  of  the  bivouac.  The  worse,  at  the 
expense  of  man's  better  qualities,  are  rapidly  strength 
ened,  and  the  least  particle  of  selfishness,  however 
concealed  by  a  generous  nature  at  the  period  of  enlist 
ment,  fearfully  increases  its  power  with  every  day  of 
service.  The  writer  remembers  well  a  small,  slightly- 
built,  bow-legged  fellow,  who  would  murmur  without 
ceasing  upon  the  route,  continually  torment  his  offi 
cers  for  privilege  to  fall  out  of  ranks  to  adjust  his 
knapsack,  fasten  a  belt,  or  some  such  like  purpose, 
who,  on  the  halt,  would  amuse  his  comrades  for 
hours  in  performing  gymnastic  feats  upon  out-spread 
blankets.  Another,  who  at  home  flourished  deserv 
edly  under  the  sobriquet  of  "  Clever  Billy,"  became, 
in  a  few  brief  months  of  service,  the  most  surly,  snap 
pish,  and  selfish  of  his  mess. 

Pipe  in  mouth,  their  troubles  are  puffed  away  in  the 
gracefully  ascending  smoke.  Many  a  non-user  of  the 
weed  envies  in  moody  silence  the  perfect  satisfaction 
resting  upon  the  features  of  his  comrade  thus  engaged. 
Non-users  are  becoming  rare  birds  in  the  army.  So 
universal  is  the  habit,  that  the  pipe  appears  to  belong 
to  the  equipment,  and  the  tobacco-pouch,  suspended 
from  a  button-hole  of  the  blouse,  is  so  generally  worn 
that  one  would  suppose  it  to  have  been  prescribed  by 
the  President  as  part  of  the  uniform. 

The  crowd  gathered  about  the  Headquarters  had 
largely  increased,  and  while  luxuriating  upon  the 
straw,  time  passed  merrily.  The  Colonel,  who  never 
let  an  opportunity  to  improve  the  discipline  of  his 
command  pass  unimproved,  seized  the  occasion  of  the 
presence  of  a  large  number  of  officers  to  impress  upon 
them  the  necessity  of  greater  control  of  the  men  upon 
the  march.  •  The  easy,  open,  but  orderly  route-step  of 
the  Kegulars  was  alluded  to — their  occupying  the 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENEKALS.  125 

road  alone,  and  not  spread  out  and  straggling  like  a 
drove  of  cattle.  A  stranger  seeing  our  Volunteers 
upon  the  march  would  not  give  them  credit  for  the 
soldierly  qualities  they  really  possess.  Curiosity,  so 
rampant  in  the  Yankee,  tempts  him  continually  to 
wander  from  the  ranks  to  one  or  other  side  of  the 
road. 

"Well,  Colonel,"  said  a  tall  Lieutenant,  "the  Kegu- 
lars  look  prim  and  march  well,  but  they  have  done 
little  fighting,  as  yet,  in  this  Army  of  the  Potomac." 

"  You  forget  the  Peninsula,"  replied  the  Colonel. 

"Oh,  there  they  were  caught  unexpectedly,  and 
forced  into  it.  In  this  Corps  they  are  always  in  re 
serve  ;  and  that's  what  their  officers  like, — everything 
in  reserve  but  pay  and  promotion.  It  is  rather  doubt 
ful  whether  they  will  fight." 

"  Ov  coorse  they'll  fight,"  said  the  little  Irish  Cor 
poral,  half  rising  from  his  straw  on  the  outskirts  of 
the  crowd  ;  "  Ov  coorse  they  will.  They're  nearly 
all  my  own  countrymen.  I  know  slathers  of  them  ; 
and  did  you  iver  in  your  born  days  know  an  Irish 
man  that  wouldn't  fight,  anywhere,  any  time,  and  for 
anything,  if  he  had  anybody  to  fight?" 

"  And  a  quart  of  whiskey  in  him,"  interrupts  the 
Adjutant.  "  As  Burns  says  of  the  Scotch — 

"  '"WT  Tippeny  they  fear  nae  evil, 

Wi'  Usquebagh  they'll  face  the  Devil.'  " 

"Now,  don't  be  comparing  an  Irishman,  if  you 
plaze,  Adjutant,  to  a  scratch-back  Scotchman.  The 
raal  Irishman  has  fire  enough  in  his  bluid ;  but  there's 
no  denying  a  glass  of  potheen  is  the  stuff  to  regulate 
it.  Talk  about  Rigulars  or  Volunteers  fighting ; — it's 
the  officers  must  do  their  duty,  and  there's  no  fear 
thin  of  the  men." 


126  BED-TAPE  AND 

"What  did  you  enlist  for,  anyway,  Terence?" 
broke  in  a  Second  Lieutenant. 

"  It's  aisy  seeing  that  it  wasn't  for  a  Lieutenant's 
pay,"  retorted  Terence,  to  the  amusement  of  the 
crowd,  and  then,  as  earnestness  gathered  upon  his 
countenance,  he  continued :  "  I  enlisted  for  revinge, 
and  there's  little  prospect  of  my  seeing  a  chance 
for  it." 

"For  revenge?"  said  several. 

"  Yis,  for  revinge.  I  had  worked  early  and  late 
at  a  liv'ry  stable,  like  a  nagur,  to  pay  the  passage 
money  of  my  only  brother  to  this  country.  Faith,  he 
was  a  broth  of  a  boy,  the  pride  of  all  the  McCarthy's," 
— tears  welled  in  his  eyes  as  he  continued, — "just 
three  years  younger  than  mysilf,  a  light,  ruddy,  nately 
put  togither  lad  as  iver  left  the  bogs ;  and  talk  about 
fightin' ! — the  divil  was  niver  in  him  but  in  a  fight, 
and  thin  you'd  think  he  was  all  divil.  That  was  Pat 
rick's  sport,  and  fight  he  would,  ivery  chance,  from, 
the  time  whin  he  was  a  bit  of  a  lad,  ten  years  ould, 
and  bunged  the  ould  schoolteacher's  eyes  in  the 
parish  school-house.  Will,  he  got  a  good  berth  in  a 
saloon  in  the  Bowery,  where  they  used  Patrick  in 
claning  out  the  customers  whin  they  got  noisy,  and 
he'd  do  it  nately  too,  to  the  satisfaction  of  his  em 
ployer.  He  did  well  till  a  recruiting  Sergeant — bad 
luck  to  him — that  knew  the  McCarthys  in  the  ould 
country,  found  him  out,  and  they  drank  and  talked 
about  ould  times,  and  the  Sergeant  tould  him  that  the 
army  was  the  place  for  Irishmen, — that  there  would 
'be  lots  of  fightin'.  The  chance  of  a  fight  took  Patrick, 
and  nixt  day  he  left  the  city  in  a  blouse,  as  Fourth 
Corporal  in  an  Irish  Rigiment,  and  a  prouder  looking 
chappie,  as  his  own  Captain  tould  me,  niver  marched 
down  Broadway.  And  thin  to  think  he  was  mur- 
thered  by  my  own  Gineral." 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  12 Y 

"  Who  ?  How  was  that  ?"  interrupted  half  a  dozen 
at  once. 

"  Gineral  Patterson,  you  see,  to  be  shure." 

"Why,  Terence,"  broke  in  the  Lieutenant,  "you 
shouldn't  be  so  hard  upon  General  Patterson ;  he's  of 
an  Irish  family." 

"The  Gineral  an  Irishman!  Niver!  Of  an  Irish 
family  !  must  have  been  hundreds  of  years  back,  and 
the  bluid  spoiled  long  before  it  got  into  his  veins,  bv 
bad  whiskey  or  something  worse.  It  takes  the  raal 
potheen,  that  smacks  of  the  smoke  of  the  still,  to  keep 
up  the  bluid  of  an  Irishman.  Rot-gut  would  ruin  St. 
Patrick  himself  if  he  were  alive  and  could  be  got  to 
taste  it.  Gineral  Patterson  an  Irishman  !  no,  sir ;  or 
there  would  have  been  bluidy  noses  at  Bunker's  Hill 
or  Winchester,  and  that  would  have  saved  some  at 
Bull  Run." 

"  On  with  your  story,  Terence,"  said  the  crowd. 

"  Beggin'  your  pardon,  there's  no  story  about  it, — 
the  blissid  truth,  ivery  word  of  it. 

"  Will,  you  see,  while  our  ould  Colonel,  under  the 
Gineral's  orders,  had  me  guarding  a  pratie  patch — " 

"  Set  an  Irishman  to  guard  a  potato  patch !"  laughed 
the  Second  Lieutenant. 

"  It  wasn't  much  use,"  said  Terence,  smiling,  "  for 
they  disappeared  the  first  night,  and  the  slim  college 
student  that  was  Sergeant  of  that  relief  was  put  under 
guard  for  telling  the  officer  of  the  guard,  next  morn 
ing,  that  there  had  been  a  heavy  dew  that  night,  and 
it  evaporated  so  fast  that  it  took  the  praties  along. 
We  lived  on  praties  nexttlay,  but  the  poor  Sergeant" 
had  to  foot  the  bill. 

"  Well,  as  I  was  going  on  to  say,  while  I  was  help 
ing  guard  a  pratie  patch,  an  ice-house,  corn-crib, 
smoke-house,  and  other  such  things  that  were  near 


128  RED-TAPE   AND 

our  camp  ground,  and  that  belonged  to  a  Eebel  Col 
onel,  under  Johnston ; — Johnston  himself  was  staling 
away  with  all  his  army  to  help  fight  the  battle  of  Bull 
Run.  Patrick — pace  to  his  sowl — was  in  that  battle 
and  fought  like  a  tiger,  barrin'  that  he  would  have 
done  better,  as  his  Captain  tould  me,  if  he  hadn't  for 
got  the  balls  in  his  cartridge-box,  and  took  to  his 
musket  like  a  shelaleh  all  day  long.  Patrick's  regi 
ment  belonged  to  a  Brigade  that  was  ordered  to  keep 
Johnston  in  check,  and  there  stood  Patrick  in  line, 
like  a  true  lad  as  he  was,  clubbing  back  the  Butter 
nuts,  striking  them  right  and  left — maybe  the  fellows 
belonged  to  this  same  Eebel  Colonel's  regiment — 
until  a  round  shot  struck  him  full  in  the  breast, 
knocking  the  heart  out  of  as  true  an  Irishman  as  iver 
lived,  and  killing  dead  the  flower  of  the  McCar 
thys. 

"  I  didn't  know  it  till  we  got  to  Baltimore,  and 
thin  whin  I  riflicted  how  the  poor  boy  marched  up  to 
fight  the  bluidy  Eebels,  and  how  they  killed  him,  my 
own  brother,  while  I — I,  who  would  have  given  my 
right  hand  to  save  him, — yis,"  said  Terence,  rising, 
and  tears  streaming  from  his  eyes,  "would  have  waded 
through  fire  and  bluid  to  help  the  darlin',  the  pride 
of  his  mother, — I  was  guarding  a  Eebel  Colonel's 
property,  whin  the  whole  of  us,  if  we  had  fought 
Johnston,  as  we  ought  to  have  done,  might  have  kept 
him  back  and  saved  our  army,  and  that  would  have 
saved  me  my  brother.  And  thin  whin  I  rernimbered 
how  thick  the  Gineral  was  with  the  Eebel  gentry,  and 
how  fine  ladies  with  the  divil  in  their  eyes  bowed  to 
him  in  Charlestown,  and  spit  at  and  cocked  up  their 
noses  at  us  soldiers,  while  their  husbands  were  off, 
maybe,  murthering  my  brother;  and  how  the  Gineral, 
proud  as  a  pay  cock  on  his  prancing  chestnut  sorrel, 


PIGEOX-HOLE    GENERALS.  129 

tould  us  in  the  meadow  that  Johnston  was  too  strong 
for  us  to  attack,  but  that  if  he  would  come  out  from 
behind  his  big  guns  the  Gineral  would  lay  his  body 
on  the  sod  before  he'd  lave  it,  whin  he  intended  his 
body  to  lie  on  a  soft  bed  the  rest  of  his  life,  and  how 
he  said  and  did  all  this  while  our  men,  and  my 
brother  among  them,  were  being  murthered  by  this 
same  Johnston  that  he  was  sent  to  hould  back, — I 
couldn't  keep  down  my  Irish  bluid.  I  cursed  him 
and  all  his  tribe  by  all  the  Saints  from  St.  Peter  to 
St.  Patrick,  until  good  ould  Father  Mao  an  tould  me, 
whin  I  confessed,  that  he  was  afraid  I  would  swear 
my  own  sowl  away,  and  keep  Patrick  in^Purgatory  ; 
and  the  Father  tould  me  that  I  should  lave  off  cursin' 
Patterson,  for  the  Americans  thimselves  would  attend 
to  that,  and  take  to  fighting  the  Rebels  for  revinge  ; 
and  he  said  by  way  of  incouragement  that  at  the  same 
time  I'd  be  sarving  God  and  my  adopted  country. 
And  here  I  am,  under  another  safe  Commander. 
Four  months  and  no  fight, — nearly  up  to  the  ould 
First,  that  sarved  three  months  without  sight  of  a 
Rebel,  barrin'  he  was  a  prisoner,  or  in  citizen  dress, 
like  some  we  have  left  behind  us." 

"Boys,  Terence  tells  the  truth  absut  Patterson's 
movements,"  said  the  tall  Lieutenant.  "  The  day  be 
fore  we  left  we  were  ordered  to  be  ready  to  move  in 
the  morning,  with  three  days'  cooked  rations.  *We 
were  told  that  our  Regiment  was  assigned  a  place  in 
the  advance,  and  it  was  semi-officially  rumored  that  a 
flank  attack  would  be  made  upon  Winchester.  At 
this  day  the  whole  affair  appears  ridiculous,  as  John 
ston  had  at  that  very  time  left  Winchester,  leaving 
only  a  trifling  show  of  force,  and  he  never,  at  his  best, 
had  a  force  equal  to  Patterson's.  Half  of  his  troops 
were  the  raw  country  militia.  But  we  under-omcera 


130  BED-TAPE   AND 

were  none  the  wiser.  It  was  rumored  that  Bill  Mc- 
Mullen's  Rangers  had  found  charts  that  informed  the 
General  of  the  extent  and  strength  of  the  Rebel  works 
and  muster-rolls,  that  showed  his  force  to  be  over 
50,000.  That  those  works  had  no  existence  to  the 
extent  alleged,  and  that  the  muster-rolls  were  false,  are 
now  well  known.  But  that  night  it  was  all  dead 
earnest  with  us.  Rations  were  cooked  and  the  most 
thorough  preparations  made  for  the  expected  work 
of  the  morrow.  Sunrise  saw  the  old  First  in  line, 
ready  for  the  move.  Eight  o'clock  came  ;  no  move, 
Nine — Ten,  and  yet  no  move.  Arms  had  been  stacked, 
and  the  men  lounged  lazily  about  the  stacks.  Eagle 
eyes  scanned  the  surrounding  country  to  ascertain 
what  other  Brigades  were  doing.  At  length  troops 
were  seen  in  motion,  but  the  head  of  the  column  was 
turned  towards  the  Feny.  'What  does  this  mean?' 
was  the  inquiry  that  hastily  ran  from  man  to  man  ; 
and  still  they  marched  towards  the  Ferry*  By  and 
by  an  aide-de-camp  directed  our  Brigade  to  fall  into 
the  column,  and  we  then  discovered  that  the  whole 
army  was  in  line  of  march  for  the  Ferry,  with  a  for 
midable  rear-guard  to  protect  it  from  an  enemy  then 
triumphing  al^Bull  Run. 

"  Well,  Patterson's  inertness,  to  speak  of  it  tenderly, 
cost  the  country  much  blood,  millions  of  money,  and 
a  record  of  disgrace ;  but  it  gave  a  Regiment  of  Mas 
sachusetts  Yankees  opportunity  to  whittle  up  for 
their  home  cabinets  of  curiosities  a  large  pile  of  wal 
nut  timber  which  had  formed  John  Brown's  scaffold, 
and  to  make  extensive  inroads  in  prying  with  their 
bayonets  from  the  walls  of  the  jail  in  which  he  had 
been  confined  pieces  of  stone  and  rnortar.  Guards 
were  put  upon  the  Court  House  in  which  old  John 
heard  his  doom  with  the  dignity  of  a  Cato,  at  an  early 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENEKALS.  131 

date,  or  it  would  have  been  hewn  to  pieces.  A  fine 
crop  of  corn  in  full  leaf  was  growing  upon  the  field 
of  execution,  and  for  a  space  of  ten  feet  from  the  road 
side  the  leaves  had  been  culled  for  careful  preserva 
tion  in  knapsacks.  The  boys  had  the  spirit.  Their 
Commander  lacked  capacity  or  will  to  give  it  effect. 
A  beggarly  excuse  was  set  up  after  the  campaign  was 
over, — that  the  time  of  service  of  many  of  the  Regi 
ments  was  about  expiring,  and  that  the  men  would 
not  reenlist, — not  only  beggarly,  but  false.  The  great 
mass  volunteered  to  remain  as  it  was,  with  no  pros 
pect  of  service  ahead.  All  would  have  stayed  had 
the  General  shown  any  disposition  for  active  work, 
or  made  them  promise  of  a  fight." 

"  Golly,"  said  a  tall,  raw-boned  Darkie,  showing  his 
ivories  to  a  crowd  of  like  color  about  him,  as  the  fine 
band  of  the  Fencibles  played  in  front  of  the  General's 
Head-quarters.  "  Dese  Union  boys  beat  de  Mississippi 
fellurs  all  hollur  playing  Dixie." 

Hardly  a  face  was  to  be  seen  upon  the  streets,  but 
those  of  these  friendly  blacks.  They  thronged  about 
the  camps,  to  be  repulsed  by  stringent  orders  at  all 
quarters.  Property  they  were,  reasoned  the  com 
mander,  and  property  must  be  respected.  And  it 
was ;  even  pump  handles  were  tied  down  and  placed 
under  guard.  Oh  !  that  a  Ben  Butler  had  then  been 
in  command,  to  have  pronounced  this  living  property 
contraband  of  war,  and  by  that  sharp  dodge  of  a  pro- 
slavery  Democrat,  to  have  given  Uncle  Sam  the  ser 
vices  of  this  property.  Depend  upon  it,  that  would 
nave  ended  campaigning  in  the  valley  of  the  Shenan- 
doah,  that  store-house  of  Rebel  supplies,  as  it  has 
turned  out  to  be ;  supplies  too,  gathered  and  kept  up 
by  the  negroes  that  Patterson  so  carefully  excluded 
from  his  lines. 


132  RED-TAPE   AND 

"  And  would  have  saved  us  this  march,"  says  the 
Colonel,  "  a  goose  chase  at  any  rate." 

"  Yes,  and  had  the  policy  of  using  the  negro  been 
general  at  the  commencement  of  this  Rebellion,  troops 
would  not  be  in  the  field  at  this  day,"  responded  the 
Lieutenant. 

"  Why  do  they  not  now,  come  boldly  out  and  ac 
knowledge  that  slavery  is  a  curse  to  any  nation?"  said 
the  Preacher  Lieutenant.  u  It  caused  the  Rebellion, 
and  its  downfall  would  be  the  Rebellion's  certain  and 
speedy  death.  Thousands  of  years  ago,  the  Almighty 
cursed  with  plagues  a  proud  people  for  refusing  to 
break  the  bonds  of  the  slave.  The  day  of  miracles  is 
past.  But  war,  desolating  war,  is  the  scourge  with 
which  He  punishes  our  country.  The  curse  of  blood 
is  upon  the  land  ;  by  blood  must  it  be  expiated.  We 
in  the  North  have  been  guilty,  in  common  with  the 
whole  country,  in  tolerating,  aiding,  and  abetting  the 
evil.  We  must  have  our  proportion  of  punishment. 
Why  cannot  the  whole  country  meet  the  issue  boldly 
as  one  man,  and  atone  for  past  offence  by  unanimity 
in  the  abolition  of  the  evil  ?" 

"  On  the  nigger  again,"  said  his  Junior  Lieutenant, 
assuming,  as  he  spoke,  an  oratorical  attitude.  "  Why 
do  you  not  go  on  and  talk  about  them  working  out 
their  own  salvation,  with  muskets  on  their  shoulders 
and  bayonets  by  their  sides,  and  with  fear  and  trembling 
too,  I  have  no  doubt  it  would  be.  Carry  out  your 
Scripture  parallels.  Tell  how  the  walls  of  Jericho 
fell  by  horns  taken  from  the  woolly  heads  of  rams ; 
but  now  that  miracles  are  no  more,  how  the  walls  of 
this  Jericho  of  Rebeldom  are  destined  to  fall  before 
the  well-directed  butting  of  the  woolly  heads  them 
selves.  You  don't  ride  your  hobby  with  a  stiff  rein 
to-night,  Lieutenant." 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  133 

The  taunting  air  and  strained  comparison  of  the 
Lieutenant  enlivened  the  crowd,  but  did  not  in  the 
least  affect  the  Senior,  who  calmly  replied : 

"If  our  Government  does  not  arm  the  negro  on 
the  basis  of  freedom,  the  Kebels  in  their  desperation 
will,  and  although  we  have  the  negro  sympathy,  we 
may  lose  it  through  delay  and  inattention,  and  in  that 
event,  prepare  for  years  of  conflict.  The  negroes,  at 
the  outset  of  this  Rebellion,  were  ripe  for  the  contest. 
Armies  of  thousands  of  them  might  have  been  in  the 
field  to-day.  Now  the  President's  Proclamation  finds 
them  removed  within  interior  Rebel  lines,  and  to 
furnish  them  arms,  will  first  cost  severe  contests  with 
the  Rebels  themselves." 

The  toil  of  the  day  and  the  drowsiness  caused 
by  huge  meals,  gradually  dispersed  the  crowd ; 
but  the  discussion  was  continued  in  quarters  by 
the  various  messes,  until  their  actual  time  of  re 
tiring.  * 

"Inspection!  inspection!"  said  the  Adjutant,  on 
the  succeeding  afternoon,  to  the  Lieutenant-Colonel 
for  the  time  being  in  command  of  the  Regiment,  hand 
ing  him,  at  the  same  time,  an  order  for  immediate  in 
spection.  "Six  inspections  in  two  weeks  before 
marching,"  continued  the  Adjutant,  "and  another 
after  a  day's  march.  I  wonder  whether  this  Grand 
Army  of  the  Potomac  wouldn't  halt  when  about 
going  into  battle,  to  see  whether  the  men  had  their 
shoe-strings  tied  ?" 

The  Adjutant  had  barely  ceased,  when  the  Inspect 
ing  officer,  the  ranking  Colonel  of  the  Brigade,  de 
tailed  specially  for  the  duty,  made  his  appearance. 
He  was  a  stout,  full-faced  man  of  fifty  or  upwards, 
with  an  odd  mixture  in  his  manner  of  piety  and  pre 
tension.  Report  had  it  that  his  previous  life  had  been 


134  BED-TAPE    AND 

one  of  change, — stock-jobber,  note-shaver,  temperance 
lecturer,  and  exhorter — 

"  All  things  by  turns,  and  nothing  long." 

The  latter  quality  remained  with  him,  and  it  was  a 
rare  chance  that  he  could  pass  a  crowd  of  his  men 
without  bringing  it  into  play.  His  "  talks,"  as  the 
boys  called  them,  were  more  admired  than  his  tactics, 
and  from  their  tone  of  friendly  familiarity,  he  was 
called  by  the  fatherly  title  of  "  Pap  "  by  his  Kegiment, 
and  known  by  that  designation  throughout  the 
Brigade. 

The  Regiment  was  rapidly  formed  for  inspection, 
and  after  passing  through  the  ranks  of  the  first  Com 
pany,  the  Colonel  pompously  presented  himself  before 
its  centre,  and  with  sober  tones  and  solemn  look,  de 
livered  himself  as  follows : 

"  Boys,  have  your  hearts  right,"  the  Colonel  clap 
ping,  at  the  same  time,  his  right  hand  over  his 
diaphragm.  "  If  your  hearts  are  right  your  muskets 
will  be  bright."  The  men  stared,  the  movement  not 
being  laid  down  in  the  Eegulations,  and  not  exactly 
understanding  the  connexion  between  the  heart  and  a 
clean  musket ;  but  the  Colonel  continued,  "  the  heart 
is  like  the  mainspring  of  a  watch,  if  it  beats  right, 
the  whole  man  and  all  about  him  will  be  right. 
There  is  no  danger  of  our  failing  in  this  war,  boys. 
We  have  a  good  cause  to  put  our  hearts  in.  The  Eebels 
have  a  bad  cause,  and  their  hearts  cannot  be  right  in 
it.  Good  hearts  make  brave  men,  brave  men  win  the 
battles.  That's  the  reason,  boys,  why  we'll  succeed." 

"Can't  see  it!"  sang  out  some  irreverent  fellow  in 
the  rear  rank. 

The  Colonel  didn't  take  the  hint ;  but  catching  at 
the  remark  continued,  "  You  do  not  aeed  to  see  it, 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  185 

boys,  you  can  feel  whether  your  heart  is  right."  This 
provoked  a  smile  on  the  faces  of  the  more  intelligent 
of  the  officers  and  men,  which  the  Colonel  noticed. 
u  No  laughing  matter,  boys,"  he  said  emphatically,  at 
the  same  time  earnestly  gesticulating,  "your  lives,, 
your  country,  and  your  honor  depend  upon  right 
hearts."  And  thus  the  old  Colonel  exhorted  each 
Company  previous  to  its  dismissal,  amusing  some 
and  mystifying  others.  The  heart  was  his  theme,  and 
time  or  place,  a  court-martial  or  a  review,  did  not  pre 
vent  the  introduction  of  his  platitudes. 

Said  the  Major,  after  inspection,  "The  Colonel,  in  the 
prominence  he  gives  the  heart  in  its  control  of  mili 
tary  affairs,  rather  reverses  a  sentiment  I  once  heard 
advanced  by  a  little  Scotch  tailor,  who  had  just  been 
elected  a  militia  colonel." 

"Let's  have  it,  Major,"  said  the  Adjutant. 

"  The  little  Scotchman,"  continued  the  Major,  "  had 
been  a  notorious  drunkard  and  profane  swearer. 
Through  the  efforts  of  a  travelling  Evangelist,  he  be 
came  converted  and  joined  a  prominent  denomination. 
His  conversion  was  a  remarkable  instance,  and  gave 
him  rapid  promotion  and  a  prominent  position  in  the 
church.  While  at  his  height,  through  some  scheme 
of  the  devil,  I  suppose,  he  was  elected  colonel  of 
militia.  The  elevation  overcame  him.  Treat  he  must 
and  treat  he  did,  and  to  satisfy  the  admiring  crowd  in 
front  of  the  bar  drank  himself,  until  reason  left,  pre 
ceded  by  piety,  and  his  old  vice  'of  profanity  returned, 
with  seven-fold  virulence.  He  was  discovered  by  a 
brother  of  the  church,  steadying  himself  by  the  rail 
ing  of  the  bar,  and  rehearsing,  amid  volleys  of  oaths, 
the  fragments  that  remained  in  his  memory  of  an  old 
Fourth  of  July  speech.  '  Brother,'  said  his  fellow 
church-member,  as  he  gently  nudged  his  arm. 


1S6 


RED-TAPE   AND 


*  Brother !'  in  a  louder  key,  and  with  a  more  vigorous 
nudge,  'have  you  forgotten  your  sacred  obligations  to 
the  church,  your  position  as  a — ' 

<; '  The  chtarch !'  echoed  the  tailor,  all  the  blood  of 
the  MacGregor  rising  in  his  boots,  with  an  oath  that 
shocked  the  brother  out  of  all  hope — '  What's  the 
church  to  military  matters?'  " 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  187 


CHAPTER  XI. 

Snicker's  Gap  —  Private  Harry  on  the  "Anaconda"  —  Not  in 
clined  to  turn  Boot-Black  —  "  Oh  !  why  did  you  go  for  a  Srt 
dier  ?"  The  ex-News-Boy  —  Pigeon-Jlole  Generalship  on  the 
March—  The  Valley  of  the  Shcnandoah  —  A  Flesh  Carnival  — 
The  Dutch  Doctor  on  a  Horse-dicker  —  An  Old  Rebel,  and  how 
he  parted  with  his  Apple-Brandy  —  Toasting  the  "  Union1 
—  Spruce  Retreats. 


movement  down  the  Valley  was  one  of  those 
at  that  time  popular  "  bagging  "  movements,  pe 
culiar  to  the  Grand  Army  of  the  Potomac,  and  in 
their  style  of  execution,  or  to  speak  correctly,  intended 
execution  —  for  the  absence  of  that  quality  has  ren 
dered  them  ridiculous  —  original  with  its  Commander. 
Semi-official  reports,  industriously  circulated  from  the 
gold-striped  Staff  to  the  blue-striped  Field  Officer,  and 
by  the  latter  whispered  in  confidence  in  the  anxious 
ears  of  officers  of  the  line,  and  again  transferred  in 
increasing  volume  to  the  subs,  and  by  them  in  know 
ing  confidence  to  curious  privates,  had  it  that  the 
principal  rebel  force  would  be  hemmed  in,  in  the 
Valley  of  the  Shenandoah,  by  our  obtaining  com 
mand  of  the  Gaps,  and  then  we  would  be  nearest 
their  Capital  in  a  direct  line  —  we  would  compel  them 
to  fight  us,  where,  when,  and  how  we  pleased,  or  else 
beat  them  in  a  race  to  Kichmond,  and  then  -  .  The 


138  BED-TAPE   AST) 

reader  must  imagine  happy  results  that  could  not 
consistently  be  expected,  while  to  gain  the  same 
destination  over  equidistant  and  equally  good  roads, 
Strategy  moved  by  comparatively  slow  marches  and 
easy  halts,  while  Desperation  strained  every  nerve, 
with  rattling  batteries  and  almost  running  ranks. 

"  But,  Lieutenant,  if  that's  so,"  alluding  to  the  pur 
pose  of  their  march,  "  why  are  we  halting  here  ?" 

"  Our  troops  block  up  the  roads,  I  suppose." 

"  We  could  march  in  the  fields,"  rejoined  the  anx 
ious  private,  "  by  the  roadside ;  they  are  open  and 
firm." 

u  We'll  see,  Harry,  in  a  day  or  two,  what  it  all 
amounts  to.  May  be  the  '  Anaconda '  that  is  to 
smash  out  the  rebellion,  is  making  another  turn,  or 
i  taking  in  a  reef,'  as  the  Colonel  says." 

"  Well,"  rejoined  the  Private,  "  I  have  endeavored 
to  book  myself  up,  as  far  as  my  advantages  would 
allow,  in  our  army  movements ;  and  the  nearest 
approach  to  anything  like  an  anaconda,  that  I  can 
see  or  hear  of,  is  that  infernal  Eed-tape  worm  that  is 
strangling  the  soul  out  of  the  army.  What  inex 
cusable  nonsense  to  attempt  to  apply  to  an  immense 
army  in  time  of  war,  such  as  we  have  now  in  the 
field,  the  needless,  petty  pigeon-hole  details  that  regu 
lated  ten  thousand  men  on  a  peace  establishment. 
And  to  carry  them  out,  look  how  many  valuable  offi 
cers,  or  officers  who  ought  to  be  valuable,  from  the 
expense  Uncle  Sam  has  been  at  to  give  them  educa 
tional  advantages,  are  doing  clerkly  duty — that  civi 
lians,  our  business  men,  our  accountants,  could  as 
well,  if  not  better,  attend  to — in  the  offices  of  the 
Departments  at  Washington,  in  the  Commissary  and 
Quarter-Master's  Departments, — handling  quills  and 
cheese-knives  instead  of  swords,  and  never  giving 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  139 

1  the  villainous  smell  of  saltpetre  '  the  slightest  chance 
'  to  come  betwixt  the  wind  and  their  nobility.' " 

Harry,  at  the  time  of  his  volunteering  was  an  asso 
ciate  editor  of  a  well  established  and  ably  conducted 
country  newspapej.  He  had  thrown  himself  with  suc 
cessful  energy  into  the  formation  of  the  regiment  to 
which  he  belonged.  A  prominent  position  was  prof 
fered  him,  but  he  sturdily  refused  any  place  but  the 
ranks,  alleging  that  he  had  never  drilled  a  day  in  his 
life,  and  particularly  insisting  that  those  who  had 
seen  service  and  were  somewhat  skilled  in  the  tac 
tics,  although  many  of  them  were  far  his  inferiors 
in  intelligence,  should  occupy  the  offices.  From 
his  gentlemanly  deportment  and  ability  he  was  on 
familiar  terms  with  the  officers,  and  popular  among 
the  men.  Withal,  he  was  a  finely  formed,  soldierly- 
looking  man.  In  the  early  part  of  his  service  he 
was  reserved  in  his  comments  upon  the  conduct 
of  the  war,  and  considered,  as  he  was  in  fact,  con 
servative, — setting  the  best  possible  example  of 
taciturnity,  subordinate  to  the  wisdom  of  his  supe 
riors. 

"  Harry,  you  have  been  detailed  as  a  clerk  about 
Brigade  Head  Quarters,"  said  the  Orderly  Sergeant 
of  his  company,  one  morning,  after  he  had  been  in 
service  about  two  months. 

Harry  did  not  like  the  separation  from  his  Com 
pany  in  the  least,  but  notwithstanding,  quietly  re 
ported  for  duty.  Several  days  of  desk  drudgery, 
most  laborious  to  one  fresh  from  out-door  exercise, 
had  passed,  when  one  morning  about  eight  o'clock,  a 
conceited  coxcomb  of  an  aid,  in  slippers,  entered  the 
office-tent,  and  holding  a  pair  of  muddy  boots  up, 
with  an  air  of  matter-of-course  authority — ordered 
Harry  to  blacken  them,  telling  him  at  the'same  time, 


140  BED-TAPE   AND 

in  a  milder  and  lower  tone,  that  black  Jim  the  cook 
had  the  brush  and  blackening. 

"  What,  sir  ?  "  said  Harry,  rising  like  a  rocket,  his 
Saxon  blood  mounting  to  the  very  roots  of  his  red  hair. 

"  I  order  you  to  black  those  boots,  sir,"  was  the 
repeated  and  more  insolent  command. 

"  And  I'll  see  you  d d  first,"  retorted  Harry, 

doubling  his  fist. 

The  aid  not  liking  the  furious  flush  upon  Harry's 
face,  with  wise  discretion  backed  out,  muttering  after 
he  was  fairly  outside  of  the  tent,  something  about  a 
report  to  the  Brigadier.  Keport  he  did,  and  very 
shortly  after  there  was  a  vacancy  in  his  position  upon 
the  Staff  of  that  Officer.  Harry,  at  his  own  request, 
was  in  the  course  of  a  week  relieved  from  duty,  and 
restored  to  his  Company.  Ever  after  he  had  a  tongue. 

The  reply  of  the  Lieutenant  to  Harry's  remarks 
has  all  this  time  been  in  abeyance,  however. 

"  Harry,"  said  that  officer,  "  we  must  follow  the 
stars  without  murmuring  or  muttering  against  the 
judgment  of  superiors, — but  one  can't  help  surmis 
ing,  and,"  the  Lieutenant  had  half  mechanically 
added  when  the  Sergeant-Major  saluted  him. 

"Where  is  the  Captain,  Lieutenant?" 

"  Not  about,  at  present." 

11  Well,"  continued  the  Sergeant,  "  reveille  at  four, 
and  in  line  at  five  in  the  morning." 

Those  beds  of  thickly  littered  straw  were  hard  to 
leave  in  the  chill  mist  of  the  morning.  The  warning 
notes  of  the  reveille  trilling  in  sweetest  melody  from 
the  fife  of  the  accomplished  fife-major,  accompanied 
by  the  slumber-ending  rattle  of  the  drum,  admitted 
of  no  alternative.  Many  a  brave  boy  as  he  stood  in 
line  that  morning,  ready  for  the  march,  the  first 
sparkle  of  sunrise  glistening  upon  his  bayonet,  won- 


PIGEON-HOLE  GENEKALS.  141 

dered  whether  father  or  mother,  sister  or  brother, 
yet  in  their  slumbers,  doubtless,  in  the  dear  old  home 
stead,  knew  that  the  army  was  on  the  move,  and  that 
the  setting  sun  might  gild  his  breast-plate  as  in  his 
last  sleep  he  faced  the  sky. 

"  Oh  I  why  did  you  go  for  a  soldier  ?  "  sang  our 
little  newsboy,  tauntingly,  as  he  capered  behind  a  big 
burly  Dutchman  in  the  rear  rank,  who  had  encoun 
tered  all  manner  of  misfortune  that  morning, — miss 
ing  his  coffee — and  what  is  a  man  worth  on  a  day's 
march  without  coffee — because  it  was  too  hot  to  drink, 
when  the  bugle  sounded  the  call  to  fall  in,  his  meat 
raw,  not  even  the  smell  of  fire  about  it,  and  his 
crackers  half  roasted ;  his  clothes,  too,  half  on,  belts ^ 
twisted,  knapsack  badly  made  up.  As  he  grumbled 
over  his  mishaps,  in  his  peculiar  .vernacular,  laughter 
commenced  with  the  men,  and  ended  in  a  roar  at  the 
song  of  the  newsboy. 

A  crowd  gathers  food  for  mirth  from  the  most  tri 
vial  matters.  Incidents  that  would  not  provoke  a 
smile  individually,  convulse  them  collectively.  Men 
under  restraint  in  ranks  are  particularly  infectious 
from  the  influence  of  the  passions.  With  lightning- 
like  rapidity,  to  misapply  a  familiar  line — 

"  They  pass  from  grave  to  gay,  from  lively  to  severe." 

Snicker's  Gap,  which  drew  its  euphoneous  name 
from  a  First  Virginia  family  that  flourished  in  the 
neighborhood,  was  one  of  the  coveted  points.  In  the 
afternoon  our  advance  occupied  it,  and  the  neighbor 
ing  village  of  Snickersville  ;  fortunately  first  perhaps, 
in  force,  or  what  is  most  probable,  considering  re 
sults,  amused  by  a  show  of  resistance  to  cover  the 
main  Bebel  movement  then  rapidly  progressing 
further  down  the  valley.  From  whatever  cause, 


142  KED-TAPE   AND 

firing — musketry  and  artillery — was  heard  at  inter 
vals,  all  the  latter  part  of  the  afternoon ;  and  as  the 
troops  neared  the  Gap,  they  were  told  that  the  Rebels 
had  been  driven  from  it  across  the  river,  and  that  it 
was  now  in  our  possession.  Night  was  rapidly  setting 
in  as  the  division  formed  line  of  battle  on  the  borders 
of  the  village.  A  halt  but  for  a  few  moments.  Their 
position  was  shortly  changed  to  the  mountain  slope 
below  the  village.  Down  the  valley  sudden  flashes 
of  light  and  puffs  of  smoke  that  gracefully  volumed 
upwards,  followed  by  the  sullen  roar  of  artillery, 
revealed  a  contest  between  the  advancing  and  retreat 
ing  forces.  That  fire4it  scene  must  be  a  life  picture 
to  the  fortunate  beholders.  Directly  in  front  and  on 
the  left,  thousands  of  camp  fires  burning  in  the 
rear  of  stacks  made  from  line-of-battle,  blazed  in 
parallel  rows,  regular  as  the  gas-lights  of  the  avenues 
of  a  great  city,  and  illumining  by  strange  contrasts  of 
light  and  shade  the  animated  forms  that  encircled 
them.  Far  down  to  the  right,  the  vertical  flashes 
from  the  cannon  vents  vivid  as  lightning  itself, 
instantly  followed  by  horizontal  lurid  flames,  belched 
forth  from  their  dread  mouths,  lighting  for  the  instant 
wood  and  field,  formed  the  grandest  of  pyrotechnic 
displays.  Bare  spectacle — in  one  magnificent  pano 
rama,  gleaming  through  the  dark  mantle  of  night, 
were  the  steady  lights  of  peaceful  camps,  and  the 
fitful  flashing  of  the- hostile  cannon. 

"  Fall  in,  fall  in  !  "  cried  the  officers,  at  the  bugle 
call,  and  in  a  few  moments  the  Brigade  was  in  motion. 
Some  in  the  ranks,  with  difficulty,  at  the  same  time 
managing  their  muskets  and  pails  of  coffee  that  had  not 
had  time  to  cool ;  others  munching,  as  they  marched, 
their  half- fried  crackers,  and  cooling  with  hasty  breath 
smoking  pieces  of  meat,  while  friendly  comrades  did 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  143 

double  duty  in  carrying  their  pieces.  The  soldier 
never  calculates  upon  time ;  the  present  is  his  own 
when  off  duty,  and  he  is  not  slow  to  use  it ;  the  next 
moment  may  see  him  started  upon  a  long  march,  or 
detailed  for  fatigue  duty,  and  with  a  philosophy  apt 
in  his  position,  he  lives  while  he  can. 

The  road  through  Snickersville,  and  up  the  roman 
tic  gorge  or  gap  between  the  mountains,  was  a  good 
pike,  and  in  the  best  marching  condition.  At  the  crest 
the  Brigade  undoubled  its  files,  and  entered  in  double 
ranks  a  narrow,  tortuous,  rocky  road,  ascending  the 
mountain  to  the  left,  leading  through  woods  <ind  over 
fields  so  covered  with  fragments  of  rock,  that  a 
country  boy  in  the  ranks,  following  up  a  habit,  how 
ever,  not  by  any  means  confined  to  the  country,  of 
giving  the  embodiment  of  evil  the  credit  of  all  un 
pleasant  surroundings,  remarked  that  "  the  Devil's 
apron-strings  must  have  broke  loose  here."  That 
night  march  was  a  weary  addition  to  the  toil  of  the 
day.  A  short  cut  to  the  summit,  which  existed,  but 
a  mile  in  length,  and  which  the  Commander  of  the 
Force  to  which  the  Brigade  formed  part,  could  readily 
have  ascertained  upon  inquiry,  would  have  saved  a 
great  amount  of  grumbling,  many  hard  oaths,  for 
Uncle  Toby's  army  that  "  swore  so  terribly  in  Flan 
ders,"  could  not  outdo  in  that  respect  our  Grand  Army 
of  the  Potomac, — and  no  trifling  amount  of  shoe- 
leather  for  Uncle  Sam.  The  night  was  terribly  cold, 
and  the  wind  in  gusts  swept  over  the  mountain -top 
with  violence  sufficient  to  put  the  toil-worn  man,  un 
steady  under  his  knapsack,  through  the  facings  in 
short  order.  Amid  stunted  pines  and  sturdy  under 
growth,  the  Eegiments  in  line  formed  stacks,  and  the 
men,  debarred  fire  from  the  exposed  situation,  pro 
vided  what  shelter  they  coulcl,  and  endeavored  to 


144  BED-TAPE    AND 

compose  themselves  for  the  night.  Vain  endeavor. 
So  closely  was  that  summit  shaved  by  the  pitiless 
blasts,  that  a  blanket  could  only  be  kept  over  the 
body  by  rolling  in  it,  and  lying  face  downwards,  hold 
ing  the  ends  by  the  hands,  with  the  forehead  resting 
on  the  knapsack  for  a  pillow.  Some  in  that  way,  by 
occasionally  drumming  their  toes  against  the  rocks 
managed  to  pass  the  night;  many  others  sought 
warmth  or  amusement  in  groups,  and  others  gazed 
silently  on  the  camp-fires  of  the  enemy,  an  irregular 
reflex  of  those  seen  on  the  side  they  had  left — here 
glimmering  faintly  at  a  picket  station,  and  there  at  a 
larger  encampment,  glowing  first  in  a  circle  of  blaze, 
then  of  illumined  smoke,  that  in  its  upward  course 
gradually  darkened  into  the  blackness  of  night.  To 
men  of  contemplative  habits,  and  many  such  there 
were,  though  clad  in  blouses,  the  scene  was  strongly 
suggestive.  Our  states  emblemed  in  the  lights  of  the 
valleys  and  the  mountain  ridge  as  the  much  talked  of 
"impassable  barrier."  But  faith  in  the  success  of  a 
cause  Heaven  founded,  saw  gaps  that  we  could  con 
trol  in  that  mountain  ridge  which  would  ultimately 
prove  avenues  of  success. 

"  Captain,  where  did  you  make  the  raise  T1  inquired 
a  young  Lieutenant,  on  the  following  day, — one  of  a 
group  enjoying  a  blazing  fire,  for  the  ban  had  been 
removed  at  early  dawn— of  a  ruddy-faced,  sturdy -look 
ing  officer,  who  bore  on  his  shoulder  a  tempting  hind 
quarter  of  beef. 

"  There  is  a  little  history  connected  with  this  beef," 
as  he  lowered  his  load,  "Lieutenant,"  replied  the  Cap 
tain,  interlarding  his  further  statement  with  oaths, 
to  which  justice  cannot  and  ought  not  to  be  done 
in  print,  and  which  were  excelled  in  finish  only  by 
some  choice  ones  of  the  Division  General.  "  I  went 


PIGEOX-IIOLE    GENERALS.  145 

out  at  sunrise,  thinking  that  by  strolling  among  the 
rocks  I  might  stir  up  a  rabbit.  I  saw  several,  but  got 
a  fair  shot  at  one  only,  and  killed  it.  While  going  into 
a  fence  corner,  in  which  were  some  thorn  bushes,  that 
I  thought  I  could  stir  another  cotton  tail  from,  I  saw 
a  young  bullock  making  for  me,  with  lowered  horns 
and  short  jumps.  I  couldn't  get  through  the  thorn 
bushes,  and  the  fact  is,  being  an  old  butcher  I  didn't 
care  much  about  it,  so  I  faced  about,  looked  the  bul 
lock  full  in  the  eyes,  and  the  bullock  eyed  me,  giving 
at  the  same  time  an  occasional  toss  of  his  short  horns. 
Now  I  was  awful  hungry,  never  was  more  hollow 
in  my  life — the  hardees  that  I  swallowed  dry  in  the 
morning  fairly  rattled  inside  of  me.  By-and-by  I 
smelt  the  steaks,  and  a  minute 'more  I  felt  sure-  that 
he  was  a  Kebel  beast.  Our  young  cattle  up  North 
don't  corner  people  in  that  way.  What's  the  use, 
thought  I,  and  out  came  my  Colt,  and  I  planted  a 
ball  square  between  his  eyes.  As  I  returned  the  pis 
tol  he  was  on  his  side  kicking  and  quivering.  While 
looking  at  him,  and  rather  coming  to  the  conclusion 
that  I  had  bought  an  elephant  after  all,  as  I  had  not 
even  a  penknife  to  skin  it  with,  I  spied  that  sucker- 
mouthed  Aid  of  Old  Pigeon-Hole  coming  from  ano 
ther  corner  of  the  field,  cantering  at  full  jump.  I  left, 
walking  towards  Camp." 

"  Captain,  where  was  that  picket-firing?" 

"  I  pointed  towards  the  wood,  and  told  him  that  I 
thought  it  was  along  the  picket-line." 

"  It  must  have  been,  I  suppose,"  said  the  Aid,  in  a 
drawling  manner.  "  The  General  was  sure  it  was  a 
rifle.  The  rest  of  us  thought  it  a  pistol  shot,"  he 
said,  as  he  rode  off. 

"  When  he  got  into  the  wood  I  returned  to  the  bul 
lock,  cursing  Old  Pigey's  ears  for  want  of  experience 

7 


146  RED-TAPE    AND 

in  shots.  They  made  me  come  mighty  close  to  being 
arrested  for  marauding." 

"Oh!  whar  did  you  git  the  jump-high?"  said  a 
darkie,  who  came  up  suddenly,  pointing  to  the  rabbit 
which  I  had  put  on  the  fence,  with  mouth  open  and 
a  big  show  of  the  whites  of  his  .eyes.  When  he  saw 
the  carqass  he  fairly  jumped.'' 

"  *  Massa  has  had  me  shinning  it  round  de  rocks  all 
morning.  When  I'm  on  de  one  side  de  jump-high 
is  on  de  oder ;  and  if  I  go  back  widout  one  he'll  cuss 

me  for  a  d d  stumbling  woolly-head.  Dat's  his 

name  for  me  any  way.'  r 

"  I  struck  a  bargain  with  the  boy ;  he  loaned  me 
his  jack-knife,  and  held  the  legs,  and  I  had  the  skin 
off  as  soon  as  a  two-inch  blade  (hacked  at  that)  would 
allow,  and  I  gave  him  the  jump-high,  and  told  him 
if  he'd  watch  the  beef  till  I  carried  this  quarter  home, 
I'd  give  him  a  fore  quarter.  I  knew  his  Master  was 
as  bad  off  as  myself,  and  would  ask  no  questions,  and 
then  I  sneaked  up  in  rear  of  the  General's  quarters." 

"  That's  what  I'd  call  Profane  History,"  said  the 
Lieutenant,  as  the  Captain  resumed  his  load. 

u  Well,  boys !  Go  into  the  Third  Cavalry  four 
months,  as  I  did ;  and  if  any  of  you  swear  less  than 
I  do,  I'll  treat." 

"  One  fault  with  the  story,  Captain,"  said  another 
Lieutenant,  detaining  him  ;  "  you  make  no  applica 
tion." 

"  I  didn't  intend  it  as  a  sermon  ;  what  application 
would  you  make  ?  " 

"  A  very  practical  one,  Captain.  I  would  apply 
half  a  quarter  to  one  man,  half  a  quarter  to  another. 
Make  a  distribution  among  your  friends." 

The  Captain,  somewhat  sold,  told  them  to  send 
down  a  detail,  and  he  would  distribute. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  147 

The  detail  returned,  well  loaded,  having  performed 
their  duty  faithfully,  with  the  exception  of  trimming 
Sambo's  fore-quarter  "  mighty  close,"  as  he  phrased  it. 

That  bullock  turned  out  to  be  merely  the  first 
course  of  a  grand  flesh  carnival,  which  lasted  the 
remaining  two  days  of  the  stay  on  Snicker's  sum 
mit.  The  wood  and  fields  almost  swarmed  with  rab 
bits  and  quails ;  but  although  furnishing  amusement 
to  all,  they  were  but  titbits  for  the  delicate.  By 
some  remissness  of  vigilance  under  the  stringent 
orders,  cattle,  sheep,  and  hogs  were  slaughtered  on 
all  sides.  There  was  an  abundance  of  them;  the 
farmers  in  the  valley  having  driven  them  up,  as  was 
their  custom,  for  the  pasture  and  mast  to  be  found  in 
the  fields  and  woods.  Half  wild,  the  flavor  of  their 
flesh  was  a  close  approach  to  that  of  game.  As  may 
be  supposed,  where  licence  was  untrammelled,  there 
was  much  needless  slaughter.  Fine  carcasses  were 
left  as  they  fell,  with  the  loss  only  of  a  few  choice 
cuts.  As  the  beasts,  especially  the  pigs,  which  looked 
like  our  ordinary  porkers  well  stretched,  could  run 
with  great  speed,  the  chase  was  amusing  as  well  as 
excitingk  Ked  breeches  and  blue  fraternized  and  vied 
with  each  other  in  the  sport,  to  quarrel,  perhaps, 
over  the  spoils. 

Few  will  fail  to  carry  to  their  homes  recollections 
of  that  pleasing  episode  in  the  history  of  the  Eegi- 
mentt.  the  feasts  of  fat  things,  the  space-built  inclo- 
sures  around  the  camp-fires  that  sheltered  them  from 
the  blast,  and  were  amphitheatres  of  amusement — 
recollections  that  will  interest  many  a  future  fireside, 
destined,  with  the  lapse  of  time,  to  become  sacred  as 
family  traditions  of  the  Revolution.  And  have  they 
not  equal  claims?  The  Revolution  founded  the 
country  ;  this  struggle  must  save  it  from  the  infamous 


148  RED-TAPE   AND 

and  despotic  demands  of  a  most  foul  and  unnatural 
Rebellion. 

''Halloo!  Doctor!  where  did  that  '  animile  '  come 
from,  "  inquired  the  Major,  who  formed  one  of  a 
crowd,  on  the  afternoon  of  the  last  day  of  their  stay 
in  the  Head  Quarters  Spruce  Retreat,  as  the  little 
Dutch  Doctor  strutted  alongside  of  a  Corporal  of  an 
adjoining  regiment,  who  led  by  a  halter,  extemporized 
from  a  musket-strap  and  a  cross-belt,  a  small  light 
dun  horse. 

"Mine,  Major!'  Pay  forty-five  tollar — have  pay 
five,  only  forty  yet  to  get.  How  you  like  him  ? 
What  you  tink?*' 

The  "only  forty  yet  to  get"  amused  the  crowd, 
but  the  Major,  with  the  gravity  of  a  connoisseur, 
walked  around  the  beast,  nipped  his  legs,  and  opened 
his  mouth. 

"  Doctor,  it's  a  pity  to  use  this  beast — only  two 
years  old,  and  never  shod.  Is  he  broke  ?  " 

"  No.  No  broke  anywhere.  Have  look  at  whole 
of  him." 

The  crowd  laughed,  and  the  Major  with  them. 

"  You  don't  understand  me.     Can  you  ride  him  ?  " 

"  Me  no  ride  him,  no  saddle.  Corporal,  him  ride 
all  round. " 

t  The  Corporal  stated  that  he  was  broken  in  so  far 
as  to  allow  riding,  and  was  very  gentle,  as  indeed  was 
apparent  from  the  looks  of  the  animal. 

"  When  did  you  get  him,  Corporal  ?  "  was  the  query 
of  one  of  the  crowd. 

"  I  bought  four  yesterday  for  four  hundred  and 
seventy-five  dollars  Confederate  scrip." 

"  Why,  where  did  you  get  that?" 

"Bought  it  in  Washington,  when  we  first  went 
through,  of  a  boy  on  the  Avenue  for  fifteen  cents.  I 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENEKALS.  149 

thought  there  might  be  a  show  for  it  some  day  or 
other." 

The  Corporal  was  a  slender,  lantern-jawed,  weasel- 
faced  Monongahela  raftsman,  sharp  as  a  steel-trap. 

"  The  old  fellow,"  continued  he,  "hung  on  to  five 
hundred  dollars  for  about  an  hour.  lie  took  me  into 
his  house,  gave  me  a  nip  of  old  apple  brandy,  and 
then  he'd  talk  about  his  horses  and  then  another  nip, 
till  we  felt  it  a  little,  but  no  go.  I  had  to  jew,  for  it 
was  all  I  had.  I'd  just  as  leave  have  given  him 
another  hundred,  but  I  didn't  tell  him  so.  I  told  him 
I  got  it  at  Antietam." 

"  You  d — d  rascal,"  said  he,  "  I  had  a  son  killed 
and  robbed  there,  ma3rbe  it's  his  money.  It  looks  as 
if  it  had  been  carried  a  good  while." 

"I  had  played  smart  with  it,  rubbed  it,  wet  it,  and 
in  my  breast  pocket  on  those  long  marches  it  was 
well  sweated." 

"  Suppose  it  was  your  son's,"  said  I,  "  all  is  fair  in 
war." 

"That's  so,"  said  the  old  Kebel,  "I  have  two 
other  sons  there;  I  would  go  myself,  it  I  wasn't 
seventy-eight  and  upwards." 

"Well,  looky  here,"  said  I,  "this  isn't  talking 
horse ;  we'll  manage  your  sons,  and  you,  too,  if  you 
don't  dry  up  on  your  treason  slang.  Now,  old  covey, 
four  hundred  and  seventy-five  or  I'm  back  to  camp 
without  them/' 

"  I  turned  and  got  about  ten  steps,  when  he  called  me 
back  and  told  me  to  take  them.  I  got  a  bully  pair 
of  matches,  fine  blacks,  that  a  Colonel  in  the  Begi- 
ment  paid  me  one  hundred  and  twenty rfive  for  at  first 
sight,  and  a  fine  pacing  bay  that  our  Major  gave  me 
seventy-five  for,  and  this  one's  left." 

"  Doctor,  I'm  about  tired  of  trotting  around  after 


150  BED-TAPE   AND 

them  other  forty.  They're  givin'  out  cracker  rations, 
and  I  don't  want  to  be  cheated  out  of  mine,  and  I  must 
go,"  said  the  Corporal,  turning  quickly  to  the  Doctor. 

The  latter  personage  snapped  his  eyes,  and  kept 
his  cap  bobbing  up  and  down,  by  wrinkling  his  fore 
head,  as  he  somewhat  plaintively  asked  the  crowd  for 
the  funds. 

"  Good  Lord !  l)octor,  you  might  as  well  try  to 
milk  a  he-goat  with  a  bramble  bush  as  to  get  money 
in  camp  now,"  said  the  Major. 

"  Corporal,"  said  the  Adjutant,  a  fast  friend  of  the 
Doctor's,  and  being  of  a  musical  turn,  his  partner  in 
many  a  Dutch  duet,  as  a  bright  idea  struck  him, 
"you  don't  want  the  money  now — there  are  no  sut 
lers  about,  suppose  the  Doctor  gives  you  an  order  on 
the  Pay-Master." 

"  Well,"  said  the  Corporal,  after  some  little  study, 
and  keeping  a  sharp  look-out  on  the  Adjutant,  whose 
features  were  fixed,  "  that's  a  fact,  I  have  no  use  for 
the  money  now.  If  one  of  you  Head-Quarter  officers 
endorses  it,  I  will.  'Spose  it's  all  straight." 

The  Adjutant  drew  the  order,  and  one  of  the  Field- 
Officers  endorsed  it,  after  the  manner  of  documents 
forwarded  through  regular  military  channels  : 

"  Approved  and  respectfully  forwarded." 

It  was  handed  to  the  Corporal,  and  he  turned  to  go, 
leaving  the  horse  with  the  Doctor,  and  giving  the 
crowd  an  opportunity  for  their  laugh,  so  far  suppressed 
with  difficulty.  He  had  gone  but  a  few  paces  when 
an  exclamation  from  the  quondam  Third  (Sfeval- 
ryman  called  him  back,  and  ended  for  the  moment  the 
laughter. 

"  Where  does  the  old  fellow  live,  Corporal  ?  " 

"  Keep  out  that  lane  to  the  left,  then  across  lots  by 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  151 

a  narrow  path.     Can't  miss  it.     He  has  no  more 
horses." 

"  Don't  want  horses." 

"  That  apple  brandy  it's  no  use  trying  for." 

"  Boys,"  said  the  Captain,  "  I'm  good  for  half  a 
dozen  canteens  of  the  stuff,  I'll  bet  my  boots  on  it. 
Who'll  go  along  ?" 

"  I,"  replied  a  sturdy  brother  Captain. 

"  Recollect  now.  All  here  at  nine  to-night  to 
receive  our  report.  No  use  to  tell  you  that,  though, 
when  whiskey  is  about,"  said  the  first  Captain,  as  the 
crowd  dispersed. 

And  that  report  was  given  by  his  comrade  to  the 
punctual  crowd  as  follows : 

"  When  I  came  out  to  the  charred  pine  stumps  on 
the  lane,  where  I  was  to  meet  the  Captain,  it  was  a 
little  before  dusk.  I  was  just  about  clear  of  the 
wood,  when  the  Colonel's  big  black  mare,  ridden  by 
the  Captain,  came  bouncing  over  a  scrub  pine  and 

lit  right  in  front  of  me.     The  d 1  himself  couldn't 

have  made  me  feel  a  colder  shudder. 

"  '  What's  the  matter  ?     Where's  your  horse  ?' 

"  ll  thought  we  had  better  walk,'  said  I,  recovered 
a  short  distance.' 
There  must  be  some  style 
about  this  matter.' 

"  I  had  noticed  that  the  Captain  had  on  the  Colonel's 
fancy  Regulation  overcoat,  a  gilt  edged  fatigue  cap, 
his  over-long  jingling  Mexican  spurs,  and  the  Major's 
sabre  dangling  from  his  side.  I  came  back,  got  the 
.Adjutant's  horse,  and  rejoined  him, 

"  '  Now,  I  want  you  to  understand,'  said  the  Cap 
tain,  putting  on  his  prettiest,  as  we  jogged  along  the 
lane,  '  that  I'm  General  Burnside.  How  does  that 
strike  you  ? ' 


J.     IsU.W.gLllI      VV  ^>     11OAA       M^U 

from  the  fright ;  '  it's  only 
"  *  That  ain't  the  thing. 


152  BED-TAPE    AND 

"  '  That  you  don't  look  a  d n  bit  like  Burney. 

He  is  no  fancy  man.  Your  style  is  nearer  the  Prince's, 
— Fitz  John.  All  you  want  are  the  yellow  kids,'  re 
joined  I. 

"  ' Too  near  home,  that.  How  will  Gen.  Franklin 
do?' 

"  As  I  knew  nothing  about  Franklin's  appearance,  I 
said  I  supposed  that  would  do.  Before  respectable 
people  I'd  have  hated  to  see  any  of  our  Generals 
wronged  by  the  Captain's  looks,  but  as  it  was  only  a 
Rebel,  it  didn't  make,  any  difference.  And  then  the 
object  overcame  all  scruples. 

"  'Well,'  continued  the  Captain,  'you  are  to  be 
one  of  my  aids.  When  we  get  near  the  house,  just 
fall  back  a  pace  or  two.' 

"  And  off  he  rode,  the  big  mare  trotting  like  an  ele 
phant,  and  keeping  my  nag  up  to  a  gallop.  Keeping 
back  a  pace  or  two  was  a  matter  of  necessity.  The 
Captain  was  full  a  hundred  yards  ahead  when  he  halted 
near  the  house  to  give  me  time  to  get  in  position, 
his  black  mare  prancing  and  snorting  under  the 
Mexican  ticklers  in  a  manner  that  would  have  done 
credit  to  Bucephalus.  He  pranced  on  up  towards  the 
house,  which  was  a  long  weatherboarded  structure,  a 
story  and  a  half  high,  with  a  porch  running  its  entire 
length.  The  building  was  put  up,  I  should  judge, 
before  the  war  of  1812,  and  not  repaired  since.  A 
crabbed  old  man  in  a  grey  coat,  with  horn  buttons, 
and  tan-colored  pantaloons,  looking  as  if  he  didn't 
know  what  to  make  exactly  of  the  character  of  his 
visitors,  was  on  the  porch.  Near  him,  and  somewhat 
in  his  rear,  was  a  darkie  about  as  old  as  himself. 

"  'Won't  you  get  off  your  critters?'  at  length  said 
the  old  man,  his  servant  advancing  to  hold  the  horses. 

"  The  Captain  dismounted,  and  as  his  long  spurs 


PIGEOX-IIOLE    GENERALS.  153 

jingled,  and  the  Major's  sabre  clattered  on  the  rotten 
porch  floor,  the  old  fellow  changed  countenance  con 
siderably,  impressed  with  the  presence  of  greatness. 

"  '  I  am  Major-General  Franklin,  sir,  commander  of 
a  Grand  Division  of  the  Grand  Army  of  the  Poto 
mac,'  pompously  said  the  Captain,  at  the  same  time 
introducing  me  as  his  Aid,  Major  Kennedy. 

".„*  Well,  gentlemen  officers,'  stammers  the  old  man, 
confusedly,  and  bowing  repeatedly,  *  I  always  liked 
the  old  Union.  I  fit  for  it  in  the  milish  in  the  last 
war  with  the  Britishers.  Walk  in,  walk  in,'  con-' 
tinued  he,  pointing  to  the  door  which  the  darkie  had 
opened. 

"  We  went  into  a  long  room  with  a  low  ceiling, 
dirty  floor  with  no  carpet  on,  a  few  old  chairs^  with 
rand  without  backs,  and  a  walnu't  table  that  looked  as 
.if  it  once  had  leaves.  In  one  corner  was  a  clock, 
that  stopped  sometime  before  the  war  commenced,  as 
the  old  man  afterwards  told  us,  and  in  the  opposite 
corner  stood  a  dirty  pine  cupboard.  While  taking 
seats,  I  couldn't  help  thinking  how  badly  the  room 
would  compare  with  a  dining  room  of  one  of  the  neat 
little  farm  houses  that  you  can  see  in  any  of  our 
mountain  gaps,  where  the  land  produces  nothing  but 
grasshoppers  and  rocks,  and  the  farmers  hav.e  to  get 
along  by  raising  chickens  to  keep  down  the  swarms 
of  grasshoppers,  and  by  peddling  huckleberries,  and 
the}^  say,  but  I  never  saw  them  at  it,  by  holding  the 
hind  legs  of  the  sheep  up  to  let  them  get  their  noses 
between  the  rocks  for  pasture. 

"This  latter  assertion  was  indignantly  denied  by  an 
officer  who  had  his  home  in  one  of  the  gaps. 

"  '  Well,'  continued  the  Captain,  '  I  only  give  it  as 
I  heard  it.  The  old  man  talked  Union  awhile,  said 
he  tried  to  be  all  right,  but  that  his  sons  had  run  off 


154  BED-TAPE   AND 

'with  the  Rebels ;  and  he  hemmed  and  hawed  about 
his  being  all  right  until  the  Captain,  who  had  been 
spitting  fips  a  long  time,  got  tired,  especially  after 
what  the  Corporal  had  said. 

"  '  Well,  my  old  brother  patriot,'  said  the  Captain, 
bending  forward  in  his  chair,  and  putting  on  a  stern 
look,  ;  it  don't  look  exactly  right.' 

"  *  Plow !  What !  gentlemen  officers,'  said  th$  old 
Rebel,  pretending,  as  he  raised  his  hand  to  his  ear,  not 
to  hear  the  Captain. 

"  The  Captain  repeated  it  louder  in  his  gruff  voice, 
and  with  a  few  more  airs. 

"  '  Why,  gentlemen  officers  ?  '  said  the  old  man, 
rising,  half  bowing,  and  looking  about,  ready  to  do 
anything. 

"  *  You  know  as  well  as  we  do,'  said  the  Captain; 
1  that  you  wouldn't  let  two  of  your  neighbors  be  this 
long  in  the  house  without  offering  them  something  to 
drink.  Now,  my  old  friend,  as  you  say  you're  all 
right,  we're  neighbors  in  a  good  cause,  and  one  neigh 
borly  act  deserves  another  ;  you  might  be  wanting  to 
have  your  property  protected,  or  to  go  to  the  Ferry, 
or  to  send  something,  and  you  could  hardly  get  a  pass 
without  a  Major-General  having  something  to  do 
with  it.' 

"  At  this  last  the  old  fellow's  face  brightened  up 
somewhat. 

"  '  I'll  lose  a  right  smart  lot  of  crops,'  said  the  old 
man,  drawing  his  chair  close  to  the  Captain  in  a  half 
begging,  confidential  sort  of  a  way,  '  if  I  don't  get  to 
the  Ferry  this  fall.  They're  stored  up  there,  and  I 
want  to  go  up  and  show  them  I  am  a  Union  man  all 
right.  George,'  turning  to  the  darkie,  who,  cap  in 
hand,  stood  at  the  door,  '  strike  a  light  and  get  the 
waiter,  and  three  glasses,  and  bring  up  some  of  the 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  155 

old  apple  in  a  pitcher.  Be  careful  not  to  spill  any. 
Liquor  is  mighty  scarce,'  continued  he,  turning  to  us, 
4  in  these  parts  since  the  war.  This  'ere  I've  saved 
over  by  hard  .squeezin'.  It  was  stilled  seven  years 
ago  this  fall — the  fall  apples  were  so  plent}^.' 

u  George  had  the  tallow-dip,  a  rusty  waiter,  three 
small  old-fashioned  blue  glass  tumblers,  and  a  pitcher 
with  the  handle  knocked  off,  on  the  table  in  good 
time.  We  closed  around  it  with  our  chairs,  and  the 
Captain  filled  the  glasses,  and  rising,  gave  for  the 
first  round  '  The  old  Union. '  Our  glasses  were 
emptied  ;  the  old  man  had  but  sipped  of  his. 

"  *  My  old  friend,  you  fought  in  1812,  you  say,  and 
hardly  touch  your  tumbler  to  the  old  Union.  Come, 
it  must  have  a  full  glass. '  .  The  authority  in  the 
tone  of  the  Captain  made  the  old  man  swallow  it,  but 
as  he  did  so  he  muttered  something  about  its  being 
very  scarce, 

"  ;  Now,'  said  the  Captain,  refilling  the  glasses, 
*  Here  is  The  Union  as  it  is.' 

"The  old  Kebel  feeling  his  first  glass  a  little,  and 
they  say  anyway  when  wine  goes  in  the  truth  comes 
out,  said  in  rather  a  low,  trembling  tone, 

"  'Now,  the  fact  is,  gentlemen  officers,  some  Yan 
kees — not  you !  not  you  !  but  some  Yankees  way  up 
North,  acted  kind  of  bad.' 

"  '  That's  not  the  questipnt5  said  the  Captain,  -there 
are  bad  men  all  oyer,  and  lots  of  them  in  Virginia. 
The  tpast  *is  before  the  house,' — the  Captain  had 
already  swallowed  his — (  and  it  must  be  drunk  ;' 
and  the  Major's  sabre  struck  the  floor  till  the  table 
shook. 

"  With  a  shudder  at  the  sound  the  old  man  gulped  it 
down.  The  glasses  were,  refilled  and  the  pitcher 
emptied. 


156  RED-TAPE   AND 

"  '  Here's  to  The  blessed  Union  as  it  will  be,  after  all 
the  d d  Kebels  are  either  under  the  sod  or  swing 
ing  in  hemp  neck-ties  about  ten  feet  above  it,"  the 
Captain  shouted,  waving  at  the  same  time  his  up 
lifted  glass  in  a  way  that  brought  a  grin  on  George's 
face,  and  made  the  old  man  look  pale. 

"'Now!  now!  now!  gentlemen  officers/  gasped 
the  old  traitor,  as  if  his  breath  was  coining  back  by 
jerks,  'that  is  pretty  hard,  considerin' — considerin' 
my  two  sons  ran  off  'gainst  my  will — 'gainst  my  will, 
gentlemen  officers,  understand,  and  jined  the  Rebels;' 
and  then,  as  the  liquor  worked  up  his  pluck  and  pride, 
he  went  on,  '  and  old  Stonewall  when  he  was  here 
last,  told  me  himself  at  this  very  table  that  such  sol 
diers  the  South  could  be  proud  of;  and  Turner 
Ashby  told  me  the  same  thing,  and  it  would  be  agin 
all  natur  for  an  old  man  not  to  feel  proud  of  such 
boys,  after  hearing  all  that  from  such  men,  and  now 
you  want  me  to  drink  such  a  toast.  That J 

"  '  Yes,  sir,'  broke  in  the  Captain,  who  had  emptied 
his  glass,  '  and  it  must  be  done.'  • 

"  '  The  fact  is,  gentlemen  officers,'  the  liquor  still 
working  up  his  pluck,  '  we  Southerners  had  to  fit  you. 
You  sent  old  Brown  down  to  run  off  our  niggers, 
and  then  when  we  hung  hjm,  you  come  yourselves. 
Every  cussed  nigger— and  I  had  forty-three  in  all — 
has  left  me  and  ran  away  but  old  Greorge  and  two 
old. wenches  that  can't  run,  and  are  good  for  nothin' 
but  to  chaw  corndodgers.'  The  whiskey  now 
worked  fast  on  the  old  man,  and  making  half  a  fist, 
he  said,  'I  reckon  when  hangiri'  day  comes  some 
Blue  Bellies  will  have  an  airinV 

"  '  You  d d  grey-headed  old  traitor ! '  roared  out 

the  Captain,  '  the  liquor  has  let  the  treason  out. 
Now,  by  all  that's  holy,  drink  that  toast  standing, 


PIGEON-HOLH   GEXEKALS.  157 

bead  up,  as  if  there  was  patriotic  blood  in  your  veins 
— as  if  you  lived  in  the  State  Washington  was  born 
in — or  you'll  find  out  what  it  is  to  talk  treason  before 
a  Major-General  of  the  army  of  the  United  States. ' 
Another  stroke  of  the  sabre  on  the  floor  that  rattled 
the  broken  glass  in  the  windows  followed.  The  old 
man  gave  another  shudder,  straightened  up,  steadied 
himself  at. the  table  with  his  left  hand,  and  with  a 
swallow  that  nearly  strangled  him,  drank  off  his 
glass. 

"  '  Ha !  old  fellow,'  said  the  Captain,  grinning, 
'  you  came  near  cheating  hemp  that  clip.' 

"  '  George,  show  us  where  the  apple  brandy  is,'  he 
continued,  addressing  the  darkie. 

"  The  darkie  bowed,  grinned,  and  pointed  to  the 
door  leading  to  the  cellar  way. 

"  *  Oh,  Lord  !  my  spirits !  Don't  take  it,  gentlemen 
officers,  I  must  have  a  morning  dram,  and  it's  all  I've 
got.  Let  me  keep  the  spirits.' 

"  ( You  old  d 1 !  '  exclaimed  the  Captain,  as  he 

eyed  him  savagely,  *  spirits  have  made  all  the  trouble 
in  the  country.  Yes,  sir.  Bad  whiskey  and  worse 
preaching  of  false  spiritual  doctrines,  such  as  slavery 
being  a  Divine  institution,  and  what  not,  started  the 
Rebellion,  and  keep  it  up.  Spirits  are  contraband  of 
war,  just  as  Ben  Butler  says  niggers  are,  and  we'll 
confiscate  it' — here  the  Captain  gave  me  a  sly  look 
— '  in  the  name  and  by  the  authority  of  the  President 
of  the  United  States.  Major,  where's  your  canteens  ?  ' 

"  I  produced  three  that  had  been  slung  under  my 
cape,  and  the  Captain  as  many  more. 

"  As  the  old  Rebel  saw  the  preparations  he  groaned 
out, . '  My  God !  and  only  four  inches  in  the  barrel 
George !  mind,  the  barrel  in  the  corner.' 

"  Knowing  the  darkie  would  be  all  right,  we  followed 


158  RED-TAPE   AND 

under  pretty  stiff  loads,  the  old  man  bringing  up  the 
rear,  staggering  to  the  door  and  getting  down  the 
steps  on  his  hands  and  knees. 

"  The  Captain  tasted  both  barrels.  One  in  a  corner 
was  commissary  that  the  darkie  said  '  Massa  had 
dickered  for  just  the  day  afore.'  The  other  was  well 
nigh  empty.  George,  old  as  he  was,  had  the  steadiest 
hands,  and  he  filled  the  canteens  one  by  one,  closing 
their  mouths  on  the  cedar  spigot.  As  he  did  it,  he 
whispered,  'Dis'll  make  de  ole  nigger  feel  good. 
Massa  gets  flustered  on  dis  and  'buses  de  ole  wimin. 
De  commissary  fotcbes  him — can't  hurt  nuffin  wid 
dat.' 

"  '  There's  devilish  little  to  fluster  him  now,'  said 
the  Captain,  as  he  tipped  the  barrel  to  fill  the  last 
canteen. 

"  The  old  man  had  stuck  at  the  bottom  of  the  steps. 
George  fairly  carried  him  up,  and  he  lay  almost  help 
less  on  the  floor. 

"  '  That  last  toast,5  said  the  Captain,  as  we  left  the 
room,  f  will  knock  any  Rebel/ 

"  George  held  the  horses,  and  I  rather  guess  steadied 
our  legs  as  we  got  on,  well  loaded  with  apple  juice 
inside  and  out.  The  Captain's  spurs  sent  the  black 
mare  off  at  a  gallop,  over  rocks  and  bushes,  and  he  left 
me  far  behind  in  a  jiffy.  But  I  did  in  earnest  act  as 
an  aid  before  we  got  to  camp.  I  found  him  near  the 
place  where  we  turn  in,  fast  between  two  scrub  oaks, 
swearing  like  a  trooper  at  the  pickets,  as  he  called  the 
bushes,  for  arresting  him,  and  unable  to  get  backwarct 
or  forward.  His  swearing  saved  him  that  clip,  as  i,is 
was  dark,  and  I  would  have  gone  past  if  I 
heard  it." 

"  I  move  the  adoption  of  the  report,  with  the  t^a 
of  the  meeting  to    Major-General  Franklin^  and 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  159 

genuine  Aid,"  said  the  Adjutant,  after  a  stiff  drink 
all  around. 

"  I  move  that  it  be  referred  back  for  report  on  the 
Commissary,  "  said  a  Lieutenant,  after  another  equally 
stiff  round. 

The  Adjutant  would  not  withdraw  his  motion, — no 
chairman  to  preserve  order, — brandy  good, — drinks 
frequent,  and  in  the  confusion  that  ensued  we  close  the 
chapter,  remarking  only  that  the  Commissary  was 
spared  to  the  old  Kebel,  through  an  order  to  march 
at  four  next  morning,  that  came  to  hand  near  mid 
night. 


160  BED-TAPE   AND 


CHAPTER    XII. 

The  March  to  Warrenton — Secesh  Sympathy  and  Quarter- 
Master  s  Receipts — Middle- Borough — The  Venerable  Uncle 
Ned  and  his  Story  of  the  Captain  of  the  Tigers — The  Adjutant 
on  Strategy — Rtd-Tapism  and  Mac-Napoleonism — Movement 
Stopped — Division  Head-  Quarters  out  of  Whiskey — Stragglers 
and  Marauders — A  Summary  Proceeding — Persimmons  and 
Picket-Duty — A  Rebellious  Pig — McCldlanism. 

HTVEIE  order  to  march  at  four  meant  moving  at  six, 
I  as  was  not  unfrequentlj  the  case,  the  men  being 
too  often  under  arms  by  the  hour  shivering  for  the 
step,  while  the  Staff  Officers  who  issued  the  orders 
were  snoozing  in  comfortable  blankets.  Be  the  cause 
what  it  might  that  morning,  the  soldiers  probably  did 
not  regret  it,  as  it  gave  them  opportunity  to  see  the 
^lovely  valley  of  the  Shenandoah  exposed  to  their 
view  for  the  last  time,  as  the  fog  gradually  lifted  be 
fore  the  rays  of  the  rising  sun.  The  Shenandoah, 
like  a  silver  thread  broken  by  intervening  foliage,  lay 
at  their  feet.  Far  to  the  right,  miles  distant,  was 
Charlestown,  where  old  John's  soul,  appreciative  of 
the  beauties  of  nature  at  the  dread  hour  of  execution, 
seeing  in  them  doubtless  the  handiwork  of  nature's 
God,  exclaimed  "  This  is  indeed  a  beautiful  country." 
In  the  front,  dim  in  the  distance,  was  Winchester, 
readily  discovered  by  the  bold  mountain  spur  in  its 
rear.  Smaller  villages  dotted  the  valley,  variegated 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  161 

by  fields  and  woods — all  rebellious  cities  of  the  plain, 
nests  of  treason  and  granaries  of  food  for  traitors.  A 
blind  mercy  that,  on  the  part  of  the  Administration, 
that  procured  its  almost  total  exemption  from  the 
despoiling  hand  of  war. 

Some  in  the  ranks  on  Snicker's  Summit  that  fine 
morning  could  remember  the  impudent  Billingsgate  of 
look  and  tongue  with  which  Mrs.  Faulkner  would 
fling  in  their  faces  a  general  pass,  from  a  wagon  loaded 
with  garden  truck  for  traitors  in  arms  at  Bunker 
Hill — but  an  instance  of  long  continued  good-nature, 
to  use  a  mild  phrase,  of  the  many  that  have  charac 
terized  our  movements  in  the  field.  Well  does  the 
great  discerner  of  the  desires  of  men  as  well  as  de 
lineator  of  the  movements  of  their  passions,  make 
Crook  Eichard  on  his  foully  usurped  and  tottering 
throne  exclaim, 

•'"War  must  be  brief  when  traitors  brave  the  field." 

At  a  later  day,  in  a  holier  cause,  the  line  remains  an 
axiom.  Nor  at  the  time  of  which  we  write  was  the 
policy  much  changed.  While  all  admit  the  necessity, 
for  the  preservation  of  proper  discipline,  of  having 
Kebel  property  for  the  use  of  the  army  taken  formally 
under  authorities  duly  constituted  for  the  purpose, 
and  not  by  indiscriminate  license  to  the  troops,  none 
can  be  so  blind  as  to  fail  to  see  the  bent  of  the  sym 
pathies  controlling  the  General  in  command.  During 
the  march  to  Middle-Borough,  horses  were  taken 
along  the  route  to  supply  deficiencies  in  the  teams, 
and  forage  for  their  use,  but  in  all  cases  the  women 
who  claimed  to  represent  absent  male  owners — absent 
doubtless  in  arms — and  who  made  no  secret  of  their 
own  Kebel  inclinations,  received  Quarter-Master's 
receipts  for  their  full  value — generally,  in  fact,  their 


162  EED-TAPE   AND 

own  valuation.  These  receipts  were  understood  to 
be  presently  payable.  The  interests  of  justice  and 
our  finances  would  have  been  much  better  subserved 
had  their  payment  been  conditioned  upon  the  loyalty 
of  the  owner.  A  different  policy  would  not  have 
comported,  however,  with  that  which  at  an  earlier 
day  placed  Lee's  mansion  on  the  Peninsula  under 
double  guard,  and  when  you  give  it  the  in  that  case 
sorry  merit  of  consistency,  its  best  excuse  is  given. 

Beyond  some  lives  lost  by  a  force  of  Regulars  who 
ventured  too  near  the  river  without  proper  precautions 
the  day  after  we  occupied  the  Gap,  and  the  loss  of  a 
Regimental  head-quarters  wagon,  loaded  with  the 
officers'  baggage,  broken  down  upon  a  road  on 
which  the  exhorting  Colonel,  after  deliberate  survey, 
had  set  his  heart  as  the  safest  of  roads  from  the  Sum 
mit,  nothing  of  note  occurred  during  the  stay.  Our 
evacuation  of  the  Gap  was  almost  immediately  fol 
lowed  by  Rebel  occupation. 

The  statement  that  nothing  of  note  occurred  may, 
perhaps,  be  doing  injustice  to  our  little  Dutch  Doctor, 
who  had  the  best  of  reasons  for  remembering  the 
morning  of  our  departure  from  Snicker's  Summit. 
To  the  Doctor  the  mountain,  with  its  rocks,  seemed 
familiar  ground.  A  Tyrolese  by  birth,  he  loved  to 
talk  of  his  mountain  home  and  sing  its  lively  airs. 
But  that  sweet  home  had  one  disadvantage.  Their 
beasts  of  draught  and  burden  were  oxen,  and  the 
only  horse  in  the  village  was  a  cart-horse  owned  by 
the  Doctor's  father.  Of  necessity,  therefore,  his  horse 
manship  was  defective,  an  annoying  affair  in  the 
army."  Many  officers  and  men  were  desirous  of  seeing 
the  Doctor  mount  and  ride  his  newly  purchased  horse, 
and  the  Doctor  was  quite  as  anxious  to  evade  obser 
vation.  His  saddle  was  on  and  blankets  strapped  as 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  163 


he  surveyed  the  beast,  now  passing  to  this  side  and 
now  to  that,  giving  wide  berth  to  heels  that  never 
kicked,  and  with  his  servant  at  hand,  waiting  until  the 
last  files  of  the  Regiment  had  disappeared  in  the 
woods  below.  Not  unobserved,  however,  for  two 
of  the  Field  and  Staff  had  selected  a  clump  of 
scrub  pines  close  at  hand  for  the  purpose  of  witness 
ing  the  movement.  A  rock  near  by  served  him  as  a 
stand  from  which  to  mount.  The  horse  was  brought 
up,  and  the  Doctor,  after  patting  his  head  and  rubbing 
his  neck  to  assure  himself  of  the  good  intentions  of 
the  animal,  cautiously  took  his  place  in  the  saddle 
and  adjusted  his  feet  in  the  stirrups. 

The  animal  moved  off  quietly  enough,  until  the 
Doctor,  to  increase  his  speed,  touched  him  in  the  flank 
with  his  spur,  when  the  novel  sensation  to  the  beast 
had  the  effect  of  producing  a  sudden  flank  movement, 
which  resulted  in  the  instant  precipitation  of  the 
Doctor  upon  his  back  among  the  rocks  and  rough  un 
dergrowth.  The  horse  stood  quietly ;  there  was  no 
movement  of  the  bushes  among  which  the  Doctor 
fell,  and  the  mirth  of  the  observers  changed  to  fear 
lest  an  accident  of  a  serious  nature  had  occurred. 
The  officers  and  servant  rushed  to  the  spot.  Fortu 
nately  the  fall  had  been  broken  somewhat  by  the 
bushes,  but  nevertheless  plainly  audible  groans  in 
Dutch  escaped  him,  and  when  aware  of  the  presence 
of  the  observers,  exclamations  in  half  broken  English 
as  to  what  the  result  might  have  been.  The  actual 
result  was  that  the  horse  was  forthwith  condemned 
as  "  no  goot"  by  the  Doctor ;  an  ambulance  sent 
for,  and  necessity  for  the  first  time  made  him  take  a 
seat  during  the  march  in  that  vehicle,  a  practice  dis 
gracefully  common  among  army  surgeons.  The  horse 
iu  charge  of  the  servant  followed,  but  was  ever 


164  RED-TAPE    AND 

after  used  as  a  pack.  No  amount  of  persuasion,  even 
when  way-worn  and  foot-sore  from  the  march,  could 
induce  the  Doctor  to  remount  his  charger. 

Middle-Borough,  a  pretty  place  near  the  Bull  Run 
Range  of  mountains,  was  reached  about  ten  o'clock 
in  the  forenoon  of  the  day  after  leaving  the  Gap. 
After  the  first  Bull  Run  battle  the  place  was  made 
use  of,  as  indeed  were  all  the  towns  as  far  up  the  coun 
try  as  Marti nsburg,  as  a  Rebel  hospital.  Some  of 
the  inmates  in  butternut  and  grey,  with  surgeons  and 
officers  on  parole  in  like  color,  but  gorgeous  in  gild 
ing,  were  still  to  be  seen  about  the  streets.  Grey 
headed  darkies  and  picaninnies  peered  with  grinning 
faces  over  every  fence.  The  wenches  were  busily 
employing  the  time  allowed  for  the  halt  in  baking 
hoe-cakes  for  the  men. 

In  front  of  the  principal  mansion  of  the  place, 
owned  by  a  Major  in  the  Rebel  service  under  Jack 
son,  a  small  group  of  officers  and  men  were  interest 
ing  themselves  in  the  examination  of  an  antique  naval 
sword  that  had  just  been  purchased  by  a  Sergeant 
from  a  venerable  Uncle  Ned,  who  stood  hat  in  hand, 
his  bald  head  exposed  to  the  sun,  bowing  as  each  new 
comer  joined  the  crowd. 

"Dat  sword,  gemmen,"  said  the  negro,  politely  and 
repeatedly  bowing,  "belonged  to  a  Captain  ob  de 
Louisiana  Tigers'  dat  Hannar  Amander  and  me 
nussed,  case  he  came  late  and  couldn't  get  into  de 
hospitals  or  houses,  dey  was  so  full  right  after  de 
fust  big  Bull  Run  fight.  His  thigh  was  all  shot  to 
pieces.  He  hadn't  any  money,  and  didn't  seem  to 
hab  any  friends*but  Hannar  Amander." 

"Who  is  Hannah  Amanda?"  said  one  of  the 
crowd. 

"  My  wife,  sah, "  said  the  old  man,  crossing  his 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  165 

breast  slowly  with  his  right  hand  and  profoundly 
bowing. 

"Hannar  Amander  said  de  young  man  must  be 
cared  for,  dat  de  good  Lor  would  hold  us  'countable 
if  we  let  him  suffer^  so  we  gab  him  our  bed,  shared 
our  little  hoe-cake  and  rye  coffee  wid  him,  and  Susan 
Matildar,  rny  darter,  and  my  wife  dressed  de  wound 
as  how  de  surgeon  would  tell  us.  But  after  about 
five  days  de  surgeon  shook  his  head  and  told  de  Cap 
tain  he  couldn't  lib.  De  poor  young  man  failed  fast 
arter  dat ;  he  would  moan  and  mutter  all  time  ober 
ladies'  names. 

"  ' Beckon  you  hab  a  moder  and  sisters?'  said  my 
wife  to  him  one  morning. 

"  'Oh,  God!  yes,'  said  de  fine  looking  young  man, 
for,  as  Hannar  Amander  said,  he  was  purty  as  a  pic- 
tur,  and  she'd  often  say  how  much  would  his  moder 
and  sisters  gib  if  dey  could  only  nuss  hirn  instead  of 
us  poor  culled  pussons.  He  said,  too,  he  was  no 
Rebel  at  heart — dat  he  was  from  de  Norf,  and  a  clerk 
in  a  store  at  New  Orleans,  and  dey  pressed  him  to  go, 
and  den  he  thought  he'd  better  go  as  Captain  if  he 
had  to  go,  and  dey  made  him  Captain.  '  And  now 
I  must  die  a  traitor  !  My  God  !  when  will  my  moder 
and  sisters  hear  of  dis,  and  what  will  dey  say  ?  '  and 
he  went  on  so  and  moaned  ;  and  when  we  found  out 
he  was  from  up  Norf,  and  sorry  at  dat  for  being  a 
Rebel,  we  felt  all  de  warmer  toward  him.  He  called 
us  bery  kind,  but  moaned  and  went  on  so  dreadfully 
dat  my  wife  and  darter  didn't  know  what  to  do  to 
comfort  him.  Dey  bathed  his  he"ad  and  made  him 
cool  drinks,  but  no  use.  'It's  not  de  pain  ob  de 
body/  said  Hannar  Amander  to  me,  '  it's  ob  de  heart 
— dat's  what's  de  matter.' 

"  '  Hab  you  made  your  peace  wid  God,  and  are 


166  RED-TAPE   AND 

you  ready  for  eberlasting  rest?'  said  my  wife  to 
him. 

"  '  My  God! '  groaned  he,  'dere's  no  peace  or  rest 
for  me.  I'm  a  sinner  and  a  Kebel  too.  Oh,  I  can't 
die  in  such  a  cause  I '  and  he  half  raised  up,  but  soon 
sunk  down  again. 

"  '  We'm  all  rebels  to  de  bressed  God.  His  Grace 
alone  can  sab  us,'  said  my  wife,  and  she  sung  from 
dat  good  hymn 

"  'Tie  God  alone  can  gib 

De  bliss  for  which  we  sigh." 

"  'Susan  Matildar,  bring  your  Bible  and  read 
some.'  While  she  said  dis,  de  poor  young  man's  eyes 
got  full  ob  tears. 

"  *  Oh,  my  poor  moder !  how  she  used  to  read 
to  me  from  dat  book,  and  how  I've  neglected  it,' 
said  he. 

"  Den  Susan  Matildar — she'd  learned  to  read  from 
her  missus'  little  girls — read  about  all  de  weary  laden 
coming  unto  de  blessed  Sabiour.  Wheneber  she 
could  she'd  read  to  him,  and  I  went  and  got  good 
old  Brudder  Jones  to  pray  for  him.  By  un  by  de 
young  man  begin  to  pray  hisself,  and  den  he  smiled, 
and  den,  oh,  I  neber  can  forget  how  Hannar  Aman- 
der  clapped  her  hands  and  shouted  *  Now  I  know 
he's  numbered  wid  de  army  ob  de  Lor' !  kase  he 
smiles. '  Dat  was  his  first  smile  ;  but  I  can  tell  you, 
gemmen,  it  grew  brighter  and  brighter,  and  by  un  by 
his  face  was  all  smiles,  and  he  died  saying  he'd  meet 
his  moder  and  all  ob  us  in  Hebben,  and  praising  de 
bressed  Lor'  1 " 

The  old  man  wiped  his  eyes,  and  there  was  a  brief 
pause,  none  caring  even  in  that  rough,  hastily  col- 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  167 

lected  crowd  to  break  the  silence  that  followed  his 
plain  and  pathetic  statement. 

"But  how  did  you  get  the  sword?"  at  last  in 
quired  one. 

"  Before  he  died  he  said  he  was  sorry  he  could  not 
pay  us  for  our  kindness,"  resumed  the  old  man. 
"  Hannar  Amander  said  dat  shouldn't  trouble  him, 
our  pay  would  be  entered  up  in  our  'ternal  count. 

"  And  den  he  gab  me  dis  sword  and  said  I  should 
keep  it  and  sell  it,  and  dat  would  bring  me  suffin'. 
And  he  gab  Susan  Matildar  his  penknife..  De  Secesh 
am  'quiring  about  de  sword.  I'd  like  to  keep  it,  to 
mind  de  young  man  by,  but  we've  all  got  him  here," 
said  the  old  man,  pointing  to  his  heart.  "  I'd  sooner 
gib  it  to  you  boys  dan  sell  it  to  de  Kebels,  but  de 
Sargeant  yer  was  good  enough  to  pay  me  suffin  for 
it,  and  den  I  cant  forget  dat  good  young  man,  I  see 
his  grave  every  day.  We  buried  him  at  de  foot  ob 
our  little  lot,  and  Susan  Matildar  keeps  flowers  on 
his  grave  all  day  long.  Her  missus  found  out  he  was 
from  de  Norf  and  was  sorry  'fore  he  died  he  had 
been  a  Kebel,  and  she  told  Susan  Matildar  she 
wouldn't  hab  buried  him  dere.  But  Hannar  Aman 
der  said  dat  if  all  de  Kebels  got  into  glory  so  nice 
dey'd  do  well ;  and  de  sooner  dey  are  dere  de  better 
for  us  all,  dis  ole  man  say." 

This  last  brought  a  smile  to  the  crowd,  and  a  col 
lection  was  taken  up  for  the  old  man. 

"  Bress  you,  gemmen  !  bress  you  I  Served  my 
Master  forty -five  years  and  hab  nuffin  to  show  for  it. 
Our  little  patch  Hannar  Amander  got,  but  I  tries  to 
sarve  de  Lor  at  de  same  time,  and  dere  is  a  better 
'count  kept  ob  dat  in  a  place  where  old  Master  dead 
and  gone  now  pas'  twenty  years,  will  nebber  hab  a 
chance  ob  getting  at  de  books." 


168  RED-TAPE   AND 

The  old  man  bad  greatly  won  upon  his  hearers, 
when  the  bugle  called  them  to  their  posts. 

Our  corps  from  this  place  took  the  road  to  White 
Plains,  near  which  little  village  they  encamped  in  a 
wood  for  two  nights  and  a  day,  while  a  snow-storm 
whitened  the  fields.  *  * 

"  Let  the  hawk  stoop,  the  bird  has  flown," 

said  a  boyish-faced  officer  who  was  known  in  the 
Regiment  as  the  Poetical  Lieutenant,  to  the  Adjutant, 
as  he  pushed  aside  the  canvas  door  of  the - Office 
Tent  on  one  of  those  wintry  evenings.  The  caller 
had  left  the  studies  of  the  Sophomoric  year,— or  rather 
his  Scott,  Byron,  Burns,  and  the  popular  novelists  of 
the  day, — for  the  recruiting  service  in  his  native  coun 
ty.  The  day-dreams  of  the  boy  -as  to  the  gilded 
glory  of  the  soldier  had  been  roughly  broken  in  upon 
by  severe  practical  lessons,  in  tedious  out-post  duty 
and  wearisome  marches.  He  could  remember,  as 
could  many  others,  how  he  had  admired  the  noble 
and  commanding  air  with  which  Washington  stands 
in  the  bow  of  the  well  loaded  boat  as  represented  on 
the  historic  canvas,  and  the  stern  determination  de 
picted  upon  the  countenances  of  the  rest  of  his  Ro- 
man-nosed  comrades — (why  is  it  that  our  historic 
artists  make  all  our  Revolutionary  Fathers  Roman- 
nosed?  If  their  pictures  are  faithful,  where  in  the 
world  do  our  swarms  of  pugs  and  aquilines  come 
from  worn  by  those  claiming  Revolutionary  descent  ? 
Is  it  beyond  their  skill  to  make  a  pug  or  an  aquiline 
an  index  to  nobility  of  soul  or  heroic  resolve?) — as 
they  keep  the  frozen  masses  borne  by  that  angry  tide 
at  safe  distance  from  the  frail  bark — but  he  then  felt 
nothing  of  the  ice  grating  the  sides  of  the  vessel  in 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  169 

which  he  hoped  to  make  the  voyage  of  life,  nor  shud 
dered  at  the  wintry  midnight  blast  that  swept  down 
the  valley  of  the  Delaware.  His  dreams  had  de 
parted,  but  poetical  quotations  remained  for  use  at 
every  opportunity. 

"  What's  the  matter  now  ? "  says  the  Adju 
tant. 

"  One  of  the  Aids  just  told  me,"  rejoined  the  Lieu 
tenant,  "that  the  Rebels  were  in  force  in  our  front, 
and  would  contest  the  Rappahannock,  while  the  pos 
session  of  the  Gap  we  have  just  left  lets  them  in  upon 
our  rear," 

"The  old  game  played  out  again,"  says  the  Adju 
tant.  "Another  string  loose  in  the  bag.  Strategy  in 
one  respect  resembles  mesmerism — the  object  operated 
upon  must  remain  perfectly  quiet.  Are  we  never  to 
suppose  that  the  Rebels  have  plans,  and  that  their 
vigilance  increases,  and  will  increase,  in  proportion  to 
the  extremity  of  their  case?  Our  theorists  and  rou 
tine  men  move  armies  as  a  student  practises  at  chess, 
as  if  the  whole  field  was  under  their  control,  and  both 
armies  at  their  disposal.  With  our  immense  resour 
ces,  vigorous  fighting  and  practical  common  sense 
would  speedily  suppress  the  Rebellion.  Where  are 
our  old  fighting  stock  of  Generals?  our  Hookers, 
Heintzelmans,  Hancocks,  and  men  of  like  kidney  ? 
Why  must  their  fiery  energies  succumb  to  a  cold 
blooded  strategy,  that  wastes  the  materiel  of  war,  and 
what  is  worse,  fills  our  hospitals  to  no  purpose? 
Those  men  have  learned  how  to  command  from  ac 
tual  contact  with  men.  The  art  of  being  practical, 
adapting  one's  self  to  emergencies,  is  not  taught  in 
schools.  With  some  it  is  doubtless  innate ;  with  the 
great  mass,  it  is  a  matter  of  education,  such  as  is 
acquired  from  moving  among  men." 

8 


170  BED-TAPE   AND 

"We  hare  the  Pyrrhic  dance  as  yet; 

Where  is  our  Pyrrhic  phalanx  gone  ? 
Of  two  such  lessons  why  forget 
The  nobler  and  the  manlier  one  ? " 

broke  in  our  Poetical  Lieutenant. 

"  D n  your  Pyrrhics,"  retorted  the  Adjutant, 

snappishly.  "  For  the  Pyrrhics  of  past  days  we  have 
Empirics  now.  Our  phalanxes  of  old  have  been  led 
to  victory  by  militia  Colonels,  who  sprang  from  th»; 
thinking  head  of  the  people,  glowing  with  the  sacred 
lire  of  their  cause.  Do  you  not  believe,"  continued 
he  enthusiastically.  (;  that  the  loyal  masses  who  sprang 
into  ranks  at  the  insult  upon  Sumter  would  have 
found  a  leader  long  ere  this  worthy  of  their  cause, 
whose  rapid  and  decisive  blows  would  have  saved  us 
disgraceful  campaigns,  had  the  nation  been  unencum 
bered  by  this  ruin  of  a  Regular  Army,  that  has  given 
us  little  else  than  a  tremendous  array  of  officers,  many 
of  them  of  the  Pigeon-hole  and  Paper  order, — beggarly 
lists  of  Privates, — Routine  that  must  be  carried  out  at 
any  cost  of  success, — and  Red  Tape  that  everywhere 
represses  patriotism  ?  And  then  to  think,  too,  of  the 
half- hearted  ness  and  disaffection.  How  long  must 
these  sneaking  Catilines  in  high  places  abuse  our  pa 
tience?  But  what  can  be  expected  from  officers  who 
are  not  in  the  service  from  patriotic  motives,  but 
rather  from  prospects  of  pay  and  position  ?  End  the 
war,  and  you  will  have  men  who  are  now  unworthy 
Major  and  Brigadier  Generals,  subsiding  into  Cap 
tains  and  Lieutenants.  Their  movements  indicate 
that  they  realize  their  position  fully ;  but  when 
will  the  country  realize  that  *  strategy '  is  played 
out?" 

"  The  whiskey  at  Division  Head-quarters  is  played 
out,  any  way,"  said  a  Sergeant  on  duty  in  the  Com- 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  171 

missary  Department,  who  had  entered  the  tent  while 
the  Adjutant  was  speaking. 

"  'And  not  a  drop  to  drink,' " 

rejoined  the  Lieutenant. 

"  Then,  by  Heaven,  we  are  lost,"  continued  the 
Adjutant.  "  Strategy  played  out  and  our  General  of 
Division  out  of  whiskey.  Yes,  sir!  those  mishaps 
end  all  further  movement  of  this  Grand  Army  of  the 
Potomac.  But  when  did  you  hear  that  ?  " 

"  I  was  in  the  marquee  of  the  Brigade  Commissary 
when  a  Sergeant  and  a  couple  of  privates  on  duty 
about  Pigey's  Head-quarters  came  in  with  a  demi 
john  and  a  note  to  the  Commissary,  presenting  the 
compliments  of  the  General  commanding  Division, 
and  at  the  same  time  the  cash  for  four  gallons  of 
whiskey.  The  Captain  read  it  carefully  and  told  the 
Sergeant  to  tell  the  General  that  he  didn't  keep  a  dram 
shop.  I  expected  that  this  reply  would  make  sport, 
and  I  concluded  to  wait  awhile  and  see  the  thing  out. 
In  a  few  minutes  the  Sergeant  returned,  stating  that 
he  had  not  given  that  reply  to  the  General,  through 
fear,  I  suppose,  but  had  stated  that  the  Captain  had 
made  some  excuse.  He  said  further  that  Pigey  said  he 
was  entirely  out,  and  must  have  some." 

u  '  Tell  him  what  I  told  you,'  said  the  Captain,  de 
terminedly.  Off  the  Sergeant  started.  I  waited  for 
his  return  outside,  and  asked  him  how  Pigey  took  the 
answer.  ( Took  it  ?  '  said  he,  '  I  didn't  tell  him  about 
the  dram-shop,  but  when  he  found  I  had  none,  he 
raved  like  mad — swore  he  was  entirely  out — had 
been  since  morning,  and  must  and  would  have  some. 

He  d d  the  Captain  for  being  a  temperance  fanatic, 

and  for  bringing  his  fanatical  notions  into  the  army  ; 
and  all  the  while  he  paced  up  and  down  his  marquee 


172  BED-TAPE   AND 

like  a  tiger  at  a  menagerie.  At  last  he  told  me  that  I 
must  return  again  and  tell  the  Captain  that  it  was  a 
case  of  absolute  necessity,  and  that  he  knew  that  there 
was  a  barrel  of  it  among  the  Commissary  stores,  and 
that  he  must  have  his  four  gallons.' 

"I  followed  the  Sergeant  in,  but  he  could  not  make 
it.  The  Captain  had  just  turned  it  over  to  the  Hos 
pital. 

"  So  the  Sergeant  went  back  again  with  the  empty 
demijohn.  He  told  me  afterwards  that  the  General 
was  so  taken  aback  by  his  not  getting  any,  that  he 
sat  quietly  down  on  his  camp  stool,  ran  his  fingers 
through  his  hair,  pulled  at  his  moustache,  and  then  I 
knew,'  said  the  Sergeant,  '  that  a  storm  was  brewing, 
and  that  the  General  was  studying  how  to  do  justice 
to  the  subject.  At  length  he  rose  slowly,  kicked  his 
hat  that  had  fallen  at  his  feet  to  one  corner  of  the 

marquee,  d git  at  the  same  time ;  d d  me  for 

not  getting  it  any  how,  and  clenching  his  fists  and 

walking  rapidly  up  and  down,  d d  the  Captain, 

his  Brigadier,  and  everything  belonging  to  the  Bri 
gade,  until  I  thought  it  a  little  too  hard  for  a  man 
who  had  had  a  Sunday  School  education  in  his  young 
days  to  listen  to,  and  I  left  him  still  cursing.' 

"  He  will  court-martial  the  Captain,"  said  the  Colo 
nel,  who  had  entered  the  tent,  "  for  signal  contempt  of 
the  Kegular  Service*  I  recollect  a  charge  of  that  kind 
preferred  by  a  Regular  Lieutenant  against  an  Adju 
tant  of  the Maine,  down  in  the  Peninsula.  In  one 

of  our  marches  the  Adjutant  had  occasion  to  ride 
rapidly  by  the  Regiment  to  which  the  Lieutenant  be 
longed.  The  Lieutenant  hailed  him — told  him  to 
stop.  The  Adjutant  knowing  his  duty,  and  that  he 
had  no  authority  to  halt  him,  continued  his  pace,  but 
found  himself  for  nearly  a  month  afterward  in  arrest 


PIGEOX-HOLE     GENERALS.  173 

under  a  charge  of  *  Signal  contempt  for  the  Regular 

O  5  55 

oervice. 

Sigel's  hardy  Teutons  lined  the  road  in  the  vicinity 
of  New  Baltimore,  through  which  village  the  route 
lay  on  the  following  day.  Part  of  his  corps  had  some 
days  previously  occupied  the  mountain  gaps  in  the 
Bull  Run  range  on  the  left.  Other  troops,  led  by  a 
Commander  whose  strategy  was  singularly  efficacious 
to  keep  him  out  of  fights,  were  passing  to  the  front, 
leaving  a  fighting  General  of  undoubted  prowess  in 
European  and  American  history,  in  the  rear.  Ineffi 
cient  himself,  and  perhaps  designedly  so,  his  policy 
could  not,  with  safety  to  his  own  reputation,  allow 
of  efficiency  elsewhere. 

That  night  our  Regiment  encamped  in  one  of  the 
old  pine  fields  common  in  Virginia.  The  softness  of 
the  decaying  foliage  of  the  pine  which  covered  the 
ground  as  a  cushion  was  admirably  adapted  to  repose, 
and  upon  it  the  men  rested,  while  the  gentle  evening 
breeze  sighed  among  the  boughs  above  them,  as  if  in 
sympathy  with  disappointed  hopes  and  sacrifices  made 
in  vain. 

"  Stragglers  and  marauders,  sir,"  said  a  Sergeant  of 
the  Provost  Guard,  saluting  the  Colonel,  who  was  one 
of  the  circle  lying  cozily  about  the  fire,  pointing  as 
he  spoke  to  a  squad  of  way-worn,  wo-begone  men 
under  guard  in  his  rear.  "  Here  is  a  list  of  their 
offences.  I  -yas  ordered  to  report  them  for  punish 
ment." 

"A  new  wrinkle,  that,"  said  the  Colonel,  as  the 
Sergeant  left.  "  Our  Brigadier  must  be  acting  upon 
his  own  responsibility.  Our  General  of  Division 
would  certainly  never  have  permitted  such  an  oppor 
tunity  slip  for  employing  the  time  of  officers  in  Courts- 
martial.  That  list  would  have  kept  one  of  our 


174  BED-TAPE    AND 

Division  Courts  in  session  at  least  three  weeks,  and 
have  given  the  General  himself  an  infinite  amount  of 
satisfaction  in  examining  his  French  authorities,  and 
in  strictures  upon  the  Records.  What  have  we  here, 
any  how?  " 

No.  1.  "Straggling  to  a  persimmon  tree  on  the 
road-side." 

"That  man,"  said  a  Lieutenant,  "  when  he  saw  our 
Brigadier  coming  up,  presented  him  with  a  couple  of 
persimmons  very  politely.  But  it  was  no  go ;  the 
General  ordered  him  under  guard  and  eat  the  persim 
mons  as  part  of  the  punishment." 

"Well,"  rejoined  the  Colonel,  "we'll  let  you  off 
with  guard  duty  for  the  night." 

No.  2.  "  Killing  a  shoat  while  the  Regiment  halted 
at  noon." 

The  man  charged  was  a  fine  looking  young  fellow 
whose  only  preparation  for  the  musket,  when  he  en 
listed,  was  previous  practice  with  the  yard  stick  in  a 
dry  goods  establishment.  Intelligent  and  good-na 
tured,  he  was  popular  in  the  command,  and  was  never 
known  to  let  his  larder  suffer. 

"  Was  it  a  Rebel  pig?"  inquired  a  bystander. 

"  A  most  rebellious  pig,"  replied  he,  bowing  to  the 
Colonel.  "  He  gave  us  a  great  amount  of  trouble, 
and  rebelled  to  the  last."  A  laugh  followed,  inter 
rupted  by  the  Colonel,  who  desired  to  hear  the  cir 
cumstances  of  the  case. 

"  Right  after  we  had  halted  on  the  other  side  of 
New  Baltimore,"  continued  the  man,  "  I  saw  the 
pig  rooting  about  a  corn  shock,  and  as  my  haversack 
was  empty,  and  myself  hungry,  I  thought  I  could 
dispose  of  part  of  him  to  advantage,  and  before  I  had 
time  to  reflect  about  the  order,  I  commenced  running 
after  him.  Several  others  followed,  and  some  officers 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  175 

near  by  stood  looking  at  us.  After  skinning  my 
hands  and  knees  in  trying  to  catch  him  by  throwing 
myself  upon  him,  I  finally  caught  him.  When  I 
had  him  skinned,  I  gave  a  piece  to  all  the  officers  who 
saw  me,  saving  only  a  ham  for  myself,  and  I  was 
dressing  it  when  up  came  a  Lieutenant  of  the  Provost 
Guard  and  demanded  it.  I  debated  the  matter  as  well 
as  a  keen  appetite  would  allow,  and  finally  coming  to 
the  conclusion  that  I  could  not  serve  my  country  as 
I  should,  if  half  starved,  I  resolved  to  keep  it,  and  re 
fused  him,  and  he  reported  me,  and  here  I  am  with  it 
at  your  service,"  clapping  his  hand  on  a  well  filled 
haversack. 

One-half  of  the  meat  was  confiscated,  but  the  no 
velty  of  the  sergeant's  patriotic  plea  saved  him  fur 
ther  penalty. 

No.  3.  Caught  in  a  negro  shanty,  in  company  with 
an  old  wench. 

The  crowd  laughed;  while  the  subject,  a  tall  cada 
verous-looking  fellow,  protested  earnestly  that  he  was 
only  \vaiting  while  the  wench  baked  him  a  hoe-cake. 

u  Guard  duty  for  the  night,"  said  the  Colonel. 

"  Poor  devil !  He  will  have  to  keep  awake,  and 
can't  sing  — *  Sleeping  I  dream,  love,  dream,  love,  of 
thee '  " — said  the  poetical  Lieutenant,  who  chanced  to 
be  one  of  the  group. 

No.  4.  Caught  by  the  General  Commanding  Divi 
sion,  twenty  feet  high  on  a  persimmon  tree,  and  Nos. 
5,  6,  7,  8,  9,  and  10  on  the  ground  below ;  also 
"  Lying  " 

*'  Another  persimmon  crowd.  Every  night  we  are 
troubled  with  the  persimmon  business,"  said  the  Colo 
nel  ;  "  but  what  does  the  '  also  Lying '  mean  ?" 

"Why,"  said  a  frank  fellow  of  the  crowd,  "you 
see  when  the  old  General  came  up,  I  said  it  was  a 


KED-TAPE   AND 


picket  station,  and  that  the  man  up  the  tree  was  look- 
ing  out  for  the  enemy.  It  was  a  big  thing,  I  thought, 
but  the  General  didn't  see  it,  and  he  swore  he  would 


persimmon  us." 


"  Which  meant,"  said  the  Colonel,  "  that  you  would 
lose  your  persimmons,  and  go  on  extra  police  duty  for 
forty-eight  hours  each." 

The  crowd  were  lectured  upon  straggling,  that  too 
frequent  offence  of  Volunteers,  and  after  a  severe 
reprimand  dismissed. 

The  country  abounded  in  persimmon  trees,  and 
their  golden  fruit  was  a  sore  temptation  to  teeth 
sharpened  on  army  crackers.  As  the  season  advanced, 
and  persimmons  became  more  palatable,  crowds  would 
thus  be  brought  up  nightly  for  punishment.  This 
summary  procedure  was  an  innovation  by  the  Briga 
dier  upon  the  Red-Tape  formulary  of  Courts-martial, 
so  rigidly  adhered  to,  and  fondly  indulged  in,  by  the 
General  of  Division.  The  Brigadier  would  frequently 
himself  dispose  of  delinquencies  of  the  kind,  telling 
the  boys  in  a  manner  that  made  them  feel  that  he 
cared  for  their  welfare,  that  they  had  been  entrusted 
to  him  by  the  country  for  its  service,  and  that  he  con 
sidered  himself  under  obligations  to  their  relatives 
and  friends  to  see  that  while  under  his  command  their 
characters  received  no  detriment,  and  while  becoming 
good  soldiers  they  would  not  grow  to  be  bad  citizens, 
lie  made  them  realize,  that  although  soldiers  they 
were  still  citizens ;  and  many  a  man  has  left  him  all 
the  better  for  a  reprimand  which  reminded  him  of 
duties  to  relatives  and  society  at  large.  How  much 
nobility  of  soul  might  be  spared  to  the  country  with 
care  of  this  kind,  on  the  part  of  commanders.  Punish 
ment  is  necessary — but  how  many  to  whom  it  is  in 
trusted  forget  that  in  giving  it  a  moral  effect  upon 

.*  • 


PIGEON-HOLE    GEXE11ALS.  177 

society,  care  should  be  taken  that  it  may  operate  bene 
ficially  upon  the  individual.  The  General  who 
crashes  the  soul  out  of  his  command  by  exacting 
infamous  punishments  for  trivial  offences,  is  but  a 
short  remove  from  the  commander  who  would  basely 
surrender  it  to  the  enemy  on  the  barest  pretext. 
Punishment  has  too  often  been  connected  with  preju 
dice  against  Volunteers  in  the  Army  of  the  Potomac, 
controlled  as  it  has  been  too  much  by  martinets. 
That  a  nation  of  freemen  could  have  endured  so  long 
the  contumely  of  a  proud  military  leader  when  his 
incapacity  was  so  apparent,  will  be  a  matter  of  won 
der  for  the  historian.  The  inconsistency  that  would 
follow  the  great  Napoleon  in  modelling  an  army  and 
neglect  his  example  in  giving  it  mobility,  with  emi 
nent  propriety  leaves  the  record  of  its  exploits  to 
depend  upon  the  pen  of  a  scion  of  the  unrnilitary 
House  of  Orleans. 

But  the  decree  "  thus  far  shalt  thou  come,"  forced 
upon  an  honest  but  blindly  indulgent  President  by 
the  People,  who  will  not  forget  that  power  is  derived 
from  them,  had  already  gone  forth,  although  not  yet 
officially  announced  to  the  Army;  and  it  was  during 
the  week  at  Warrenton,  our  halting-place  on  the 
morrow,  that  the  army,  with  the  citizens  at  home, 
rejoiced  that  the  work  of  staying  the  proud  waves  of 
imbecility,  as  well  as  insult,  to  our  Administration, 
had  commenced.  The  history  of  reforms  is  one  of 
the  sacrifice  of  blood,  money,  and  time.  Frightful  bills 
of  mortality,  shattered  finances,  nineteen  months  of 
valuable  time,  do  not  in  this  case  admit  of  an  excep 
tion. 

8* 


178  BED-TAPE    AND 


CHAPTER    XIII 

Camp  near  Warrenton — Stability  of  the  Republic — Measures, 
not  Men,  regarded  by  the  Public — Removal  of  McClellan — Di 
vision  Head-  Quarters  a  House  of  Mourning — A  Pigeon-Hole 
General  and  his  West  Point  Patent- Leather  Cartridge-Sox — 
Head- Quarter  Murmurings  and  Mutterings — Departure  of 
Little  Mac  and  the  Prince —  Cheering  by  Word  of  Command — 
The  Southern  Saratoga — Rebel  Regret  at  McClellans  Depar 
ture. 

WRITERS  prone  to  treat  of  the  instability  of  Re 
publics,  will  find  serious  matter  to  combat  in 
the  array  of  events  that  culminated  at  Warrenton. 
Without  the  blood  that  has  usually  characterized 
similar  events  in  the  history  of  Monarchies,  in  fact 
with  scarcely  a  ripple  upon  the  surface  of  our  national 
affairs,  a  great  military  .chieftain,  or  to  speak  truly,  a 
commander  who  had  endeavored,  and  who  had  the 
grandest  of  opportunities  to  become  such,  passed  from 
his  proud  position  as  the  leader  of  the  chief  army  of 
the  Republic,  to  the  obscurity  of  private  life.  Prof 
fered  to  a  public,  pliant,  because  anxious  that  its 
representatives  in  the  field  should  have  a  worthy  Com 
mander,  by  an  Administration  eager  to  repair  the  dis 
aster  of  Bull  Run, — puffed  into  favor  by  almost  the 
entire  press  of  the  country,  the  day  had  been  when 
the  loyalty  of  the  citizen  was  measured  by  his  admi 
ration  of  General  McClellan. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GEXERALS.  179 

Never  did  a  military  leader  assume  command  so 
auspiciously.  The  resources  of  a  mighty  nation  were 
lavishly  contributed  to  the  materiel  of  his  army.  Its 
best  blood  stood  in  his  ranks.  Indulged  to  an  almost 
criminal  extent  by  an  Administration  that  in  accor 
dance  with  the  wishes  of  the  masses  it  represented, 
bowed  at  his  beck  and  was  overly  solicitous  to  do  his 
bidding,  no  wonder  that  this  ordinary  mind  became 
unduly  inflated.  lie  could  model  his  army  upon  the 
precedents  set  by  the  great  Napoleon ;  he  could  sur 
round  himself  by  an  immense  Staff — the  talent  of 
which,  however,  but  poorly  represented  the  vigor  of 
his  army, — for  nepotism  and  favoritism  interfered  to 
prevent  that,  as  they  will  with  common  men ;  drill 
and  discipline  could  make  his  army  efficient, — for  his 
subordinates  were  thorough  and  competent,  and  his 
men  were  apt  pupils ;  but  he  himself  could  not  add 
to  all  these  the  crowning  glories  of  the  field.  Every 
thing  was  there  but  genius,  that  God-given  gift;  and 
that  he  did  not  prove  to  be  a  Napoleon  resulted  alone 
from  a  lack  of  brains. 

Now  that  the  glare  of  the  rocket  has  passed  from 
our  sky,  and  its  stick  has  fallen  quietly  enough  among 
the  pines  of  New  Jersey,  citizens  have  opportunity 
for  calm  reflection.  We  are  not  justified,  perhaps,  in 
attributing  to  McClellan  all  the  evils  and  errors  that 
disfigure  his  tenure  of  office.  Intellect  equal  to  the  po 
sition  he  could  not  create  for  himself,  and  ninety-nine 
out  of  one  hundred  men  of  average  ability  would  not 
have  descended  from  his  balloon-like  elevation  with 
any  better  grace.  It  is  in  the  last  degree  unjust  to 
brand  with  disloyalty,  conduct  that  seems  to  be  a  re 
sult  natural  enough  to  incompetency.  That  upon 
certain  occasions  he  may  have  been  used  for  disloyal 
purposes  by  designing  men,  may  be  the  consequence 


160  RED-TAPE   AND 

of  lack  of  discrimination  rather  than  of  patriot 
ism. 

Whatever  might  have  induced  his  conduct  of  the 
war,  the  nation  has  learned  a  lesson  for  all  time. 
Generals  who  had  grown  grey  in  honorable  service 
were  rudely  set  aside  for  a  Commander  whose  principal 
merit  consisted  in  his  having  published  moderately 
well  compiled  military  books.  Their  acquiescence 
redounds  to  their  credit ;  but  their  continued  and  com 
paratively  calm  submission  in  after  times,  when  that 
General,  regardless  of  soldierly  merit,  placed  in  high 
and  honorable  positions  relatives  and  intimate  friends, 
who  could  be  but  mere  place-men,  dependent  entirely 
upon  him  for  their  honors,  and  committed  to  his  inter 
ests,  is  strong  proof  of  devoted  patriotism.  Slight 
hold  had  these  neophytes  upon  the  stern  matter-of- 
fact  fighting  Generals,  or  the  equally  devoted  and 
patriotic  masses  in  ranks.  In  their  vain  glory  they 
murmured  and  muttered  during  and  subsequent  to 
this  week  at  Warrenton,  as  they  had  threatened  pre 
viously,  in  regard  to  the  removal  of  McClellan.  They 
knew  not  the  Power  that  backed  the  Bayonet.  In 
the  eye  of  the  unreserved  and  determined  loyalty  of 
the  masses,  success  was  the  test  of  popularity  with 
any  Commander.  Not  the  shadow  of  an  excuse 
existed  for  any  other  issue.  Our  resources  of  the 
materiel  of  war  were  well  nigh  infinite.  Men  could 
be  had  almost  without  number,  at  least  equal  to  the 
Kebels  in  courage.  There  was,  then,  no  excuse  for 
inaction,  and  none  knew  it  better  than  our  reflecting 
rank  and  file. 

The  effort  to  inspire  popularity  for  McClellan  had 
been  untiring  by  his  devotees  in  position  in  the  army. 
In  the  outset  it  was  successful.  Like  their  friends  at 
home,  the  men  in  ranks,  during  the  dark  days  that 


PIGEOX-HOLE    GENERALS.  1  81 

succeeded  Bull  Kun,  eagerly  caught  at  a  name  that 
received  such  honorable  mention.  That  this  flush  of 
popularity  did  not  increase  until  it  became  a  steady 
flame  like  that  which  burned  within  the  breasts  of 
the  veterans  of  the  old  French  Empire,  is  because  its 
subject  lacked  the  commanding  ability,  decision  of 
character,  and  fiery  energy,  that  made  statesmen  do 
reverence,  turned  the  tide  of  battle  to  advantage,  and 
swept  with  resistless  force  over  the  plains  of  Italy 
and  the  mountains  of  Tyrol. 

It  was  with  mingled  feelings  of  pleasure  and  un 
certainty,  caused  by  the  change,  that  the  Regiment 
broke  to  the  front  in  column  of  company,  and  en 
camped  on  a  beautifully  wooded  ridge  about  two 
miles  north  of  Warrenton.  Pleasure  upon  account  of 
the  change — as  any  change  must  be  for  the  better, — 
"uncertainty,  as  to  its  character  and  extent.  In  their 
doubtful  future,  Generals  shifted  position,  and  suc 
ceeded  each  other,  very  much,  as  dark  specks  appear 
and  pass  before  unsteady  vision.  Who  would  be  the 
successor  ?  Would  the  change  be  radical  ?  were  ques 
tions  that  were  discussed  in  all  possible  bearings 
around  cheerful  camp  fires. 

Whatever  the  satisfaction  among  subordinate  offi 
cers  and  the  ranks,  Division  Head-quarters  was  a 
house  of  mourning.  To  the  General  removed  solely 
it  owed  its  existence.  Connected  with  his  choice 
Corps,  it  had  basked  in  the  sunshine  of  his  favor. 
With  the  removal  already  ordered,  "the  dread  of 
something  worse  " — a  removal  nearer  home  was  ap 
prehended.  As  a  Field  Commander,  the  officer  upon 
whose  shoulders  rested  the  responsibilities  of  the  Di 
vision,  was  entirely  unknown  previously  to  his  as 
suming  command.  His  life  hitherto  had  been  of 
such  a  nature  as  not  to  add  to  his  capacity  as  a  Com- 


182  BED-TAPE    AND 

mander.  Years  of  quiet  clerkly  duty  in  the  Topo 
graphical  Department  may,  and  doubtless  did  in  his 
case,  make  an  excellent  engineer  or  draughtsman,  but 
they  afford  few  men  opportunities  for  improvement 
in  generalship.  During  the  McClellan  regime  this 
source  furnished  a  heavy  proportion  of  our  superior 
officers.  Why,  would  be  difficult  to  say  on  any  other 
hypothesis  than  that  of  favoritism.  Their  educational 
influences  tend  to  a  defensive  policy,  which  history 
proves  Generals  of  ability  to  have  indulged  in  only 
upon  the  severest  necessity.  To  inability  to  rise 
above  these  strictures  of  the  school,  may  be  traced  the 
policy  which  has  portrayed  upon  the  historic  page,  to 
our  lasting  disgrace  as  a  nation,  the  humiliating  spec 
tacle  of  a  mighty  and  brave  people,  with  resources 
almost  unlimited,  compelled  for  nearly  two  years  to 
defend  their  Capital  against  armies  greatly  inferior  to 
their  own  in  men  and  means. 

Independently  of  these  educational  defects,  as  they 
must  be  called,  there  was  nothing  in  either  the  cha 
racter  or  person  of  the  Division  Commander  to  com 
mand  respect  or  inspire  fear.  Eccentric  to  a  most 
whimsical  degree,  his  oddities  were  the  jest  of  the  Di 
vision,  while  they  were  not  in  the  least  relieved  by 
his  extreme  nervousness  and  fidgety  habits  of  body. 
That  there  was  nothing  to  inspire  fear  is,  however, 
subject  to  exception,  as  his  whims  kept  subordinates 
in  a  continual  fever.  The  art  of  being  practical — 
adapting  himself  to  circumstances — he  had  never 
learned.  It  belongs  to  the  department  of  Common 
Sense,  in  which,  unfortunately,  there  has  never  been 
a  professor  at  West  Point.  His  after  life  does  not 
seem  to  have  been  favorable  to  its  acquirement. 
Withal,  the  hauteur  characteristic  to  Cadets  clung  to 
him,  and  on  many  occasions  rendered  him  unfortunate 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  183 

in  his  intercourse  with  volunteer  officers.  Politeness 
with  him,  assumed  the  airs  and  grimaces  of  a  French 
dancing-master,  which  personage  he  was  not  unfre- 
quently  and  not  inaptly  said  to  resemble.  Displeasure 
he  would  manifest  by  the  oddest  of  gestures  and  vol 
leys  of  the  latest  oaths,  uttered  in  a  nervous,  half  stut 
tering  manner.  Socially,  his  extensive  educational 
acquirements  made  him  a  pleasant  companion,  and 
with  a  friend  it  was  said  he  would  drink  as  deep  and 
long  as  any  man  in  the  Army  of  the  Potomac.  Once 
crossed,  however,  his  malignity  would  be  manifested 
by  the  most  intolerable  and  petty  persecution. 

"  He  has  no  judgment,"  said  a  Field-Officer  of  a 
Regiment  of  his  command ;  a  remark  which,  by  the 
way,  was  a  good  summary  of  his  character. 

"  Why?"  replied  the  officer  to  whom  he  was  speaking. 

"  I  was  out  on  picket  duty,"  rejoined  the  other, 
"  yesterday.  We  had  an  unnecessarily  heavy  Ee- 
serve,  and  one  half  of  the  men  in  it  were  allowed  to 
rest  without  their  belts  and  boxes.  The  General  in 
the  afternoon  paid  us  a  visit,  and  seeing  this  found 
fault,  that  the  men  were  not  kept  equipped ;  observ 
ing  at  the  same  time  that  they  could  rest  equally  well 
with  their  cartridge  boxes  on ;  that  when  he  was  a 
Cadet  at  West  Point  he  had  ascertained  by  actual 
practice  that  it  could  be  done." 

"Do  you  recollect,  General,"  I  remarked,  "  whether 
you  had  forty  rounds  of  ball  cartridge  in  your  box 
then?" 

"  He  said  he  did  not  know  that  that  made  any  dif 
ference." 

"  Now  considering  that  the  fact  of  the  boxes  being 
filled  makes  all  the  difference,  I  say,"  continued  the 
officer,  "that  the  man  who  makes  a  remark  such  as 
the  General  made,  is  devoid  of  judgment." 


184  BED-TAPE    AND 

But  he  was  connected  both  by  ties  of  friendship 
and  consanguinity  with  the  hitherto  Commander  of 
the  Army  of  the  Potomac.  His  Adjutant-General 
was  related  to  the  same  personage.  The  position  of 
the  latter,  for  which  he  was  totally  unfitted  by  his 
habits,  was  perhaps  a  condition  precedent  to  the  ap 
pointment  of  the  General  of  Division. 

The  fifth  of  November,  a  day  destined  to  become 
celebrated  hereafter  in  American  as  in  English  history, 
dawned  not  less  inauspiciously  upon  the  Head-quar 
ters  of  the  Corps.  They  too  could  not  appreciate  the 
dry  humor  of  the  order  that  commanded  Little  Mac 
to  report  at  Trenton.  They  thought  alone  of  the  un 
welcome  reality — that  it  was  but  an  American  way  of 
sending  him  to  Coventry,  The  Commander  of  the 
Corps  had  been  a  great  favorite  at  the  Head -quarters 
of  the  army — perhaps  because  in  this  old  West  Point 
instructor  the  haughty  dignity  and  prejudice  against 
volunteers  which  characterized  too  many  Regular 
officers,  had  its  fullest  personification.  His  Corps 
embraced  the  largest  number  of  Regular  officers.  In 
some  Regiments  they  were  ridiculously,  and  for  Uncle 
Sam  expensively,  plentiful, — some  Companies  having 
two  or  three  Captains,  two  or  three  First  or  Second 
Lieutenants, — while  perhaps  the  enlisted  men  in  the 
Regiment  did  not  number  two  hundred.  But  these 
supernumeraries  were  Fitz  John's  favorites,  and 
whether  they  performed  any  other  labor  than  sporting 
shoulder  straps,  regularly  visiting  the  Paymasters, 
adjusting  paper  collars  and  cultivating  moustaches, 
was  a  matter  of  seemingly  small  consequence,  though 
during  depressed  national  finances. 

The  little  patriotism  that  animated  many  of  the 
officers  attached  to  both  of  these  Head -quarters,  did 
not  restrain  curses  deep  if  not  loud.  Pay  and  posi- 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  185 

tion  kept  them  in  the  army  at  the  outbreak  of  the 
Rebellion  ;  and  pay  and  position  alone  prevented  their 
taking  the  same  train  from  Warrenton  that  carried 
away  their  favorite  Commander.  A  telegram  of  the 
Associated  Press  stated  a  few  days  later  that  a  list  of 
eighty  had  been  prepared  for  dismissal.  What  evil 
genius  averted  this  benefit  to  the  C9untry,  the  War 
Department  best  knows.  It  required  no  vision  of  the 
night,  nor  gift  of  soothsaying,  to  foretell  the  trouble 
that  would  result  from  allowing  officers  in  important 
positions  to  remain  in  the  army,  who  were  under  the 
strongest  obligations  to  the  General  removed,  devo 
tedly  attached  to  him,  and  completely  identified  with, 
and  subservient  to,  his  interests.  It  might  at  least  be 
supposed  that  his  policy  would  be  persevered  in,  and 
that  his  interests  would  not  suffer.  So  far  the  reform 
was  not  radical. 

"  Colonel,"  said  one  of  these  martinets  who  occu 
pied  a  prominent  position  upon  the  Staff  of  Prince 
Fitz  John,  as  with  a  look  of  mingled  contempt  and 
astonishment  he  pointed  to  a  Lieutenant  who  stood  a 
few  rods  distant  engaged  in  conversation  with  two 
privates  of  his  command,  "  do  you  allow  commissioned 
officers  to  converse  with  privates?  " 

"  Why  not,  sir  ?  Those  three  men  were  intimate 
acquaintances  at  home.  In  fact,  the  Lieutenant  was  a 
clerk  in  a  dry-goods  establishment  in  which  one  of 
the  privates  was  a  junior  partner." 

"  All  wrong,  sir,"  replied  the  martinet.  "  They 
should  approach  a  commissioned  otlicer  through  a 
Sergeant.  The  Inspecting  Officer  will  report  you  for 
laxity  of  discipline  in  case  it  continues,  and  place  you 
under  arrest." 

The  Brigadier,  when  he  heard  of  this  conversation, 
intimated  that  should  the  Inspecting  Officer  attempt 


186  RED-TAPE   AND 

it,  he  would  leave  the  Brigade  limits  under  guard ; 
and  it  was  not  attempted. 

Nonsense  such  as  this  is  not  only  contemptible  but 
criminal,  when  contrasted  with  the  kind  fellowship  of 
Washington  for  his  men, — his  solicitude  for  their 
sufferings  at  Valley  Forge, — Putnam  sharing  his 
scanty  meals  witji  privates  of  his  command, — Napoleon 
learning  the  wants  of  his  veterans  from  their  own 
lips,  and  tapping  a  Grenadier  familiarly  upon  the 
shoulder  to  ask  the  favor  of  a  pinch  from  his  snuff 
box.  Those  worthies  may  rest  assured  that  marquees 
pitched  at  Regulation  distance,  and  access  through 
non-comrnissioned  officers,  will  not,  if  natural  dignity 
be  wanting,  create  respect.  How  greatly  would  the 
efficiency  of  the  army  have  been  increased,  had  the 
true  gentility  that  characterized  the  noble  soul  of  Colo 
nel  Simmons,  who  fell  at  Games'  Mills,  and  that  will 
always  command  reverence,  been  more  general  among 
his  brother  officers  of  the  Regular  Army. 

These  evil  results  should  not,  however,  lead  to  a 
wholesome  condemnation  of  West  Point.  The  ad 
vantages  of  the  Institution  have  been  abused,  or 
rather  neglected,  by  the  great  masses  of  the  Loyal 
States.  In  our  moral  matter-of-fact  business  commu 
nities  it  has  been  too  generally  the  case,  that .  cadets 
have  been  the  appointees  of  political  favoritism, 
regardless  of  merit ;  and  that  the  wild  and  often  worth 
less  son  of  influential  and  wealthy  parents,  who  had 
grown  beyond  home  restraint,  and  who  gave  little 
indication  of  a  life  of  honor  or  usefulness,  would 
be  turned  into  the  public  inclosure  at  West-Point  to 
square  his  morals  and  his  toes  at  the  same  time  at 
public  expense,  and  the  act  rejoiced  at  as  a  good 
family  riddance.  Thus  in  the  Loyal  States,  the  pro 
fession  of  arms  had  fallen  greatly  into  disrepute  pre- 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  187 

viously  to  the  outbreak  of  the  Rebellion,  and  instead 
of  being  known  as  a  respectable  vocation,  was  consi 
dered  as  none  at  all.  Had  military  training  to  some 
extent  been  connected  with  the  common  school  edu 
cation  of  the  land,  we  would  have  gained  in  health, 
and  would  have  been  provided  with  an  able  array  of 
officers  for  our  noble  army  of  Volunteers.  Among 
other  preparations  for  their  infamous  revolt,  the 
Rebels  did  not  fail  to  give  this  especial  prominence. 
The  Northern  States  have  been  great  in  peace ;  the 
material  is  being  rapidly  educated  that  will  make 
them  correspondingly  great  in  war. 

"  November's  surly  blasts"  were  baring  the  forests 
of  foliage,  when  the  order  for  the  last  Review  by 
McClellan  was  read  to  the  Troops.  Mutinies  and 
rumors  of  mutinies  "  from  the  most  reliable  sources  " 
had  been  suspended  above  the  Administration,  like 
the  threatening  sword  of  Damocles;  but  Abraham's 
foot  was  down  at  last,  and  beyond  murmurings  and 
mutterings  at  disaffected  Head-Quarters  no  unsol- 
dierly  conduct  marked  the  reception  of  the  order.  So 
far  from  the  "  heavens  being  hung  with  black,"  as  a 
few  man-worshippers  in  their  mad  devotion  would 
have  wished,  nature  smiled  beautifully  fair.  Such  a 
sight  could  only  be  realized  in  Republican  America. 
A  military  Commander  of  the  greatest  army  upon 
the  Continent,  elevated  in  the  vain-glorj'  of  dependent 
subordinates  into  a  quasi-Dictatorship,  was  suddenly 
lowered  from  his  high  position,  and  his  late  Troop? 
march  to  this  last  Review  with  the  quiet  formality  of 
a  dress  parade.  What  cared  those  stern,  self-sacrific 
ing  men  in  ranks,  from  whose  bayonets  that  brilliant 
sun  glistened  in  diamond  splendor,  for  the  magic  of  a 
name — the  majesty  of  a  Staff,  gorgeous,  although  not 
clothed  in  the  uniform  desired  by  its  late  Chief.  The 


188  KED-TAPE   AND 

measure  of  payment  for  toil  and  sacrifice  with  them, 
was  progress  in  the  prosecution  of  their  holy  cause. 
The  thunders  of  the  artillery  that  welcomed  him  with 
the  honor  due  to  his  rank,  reminded  them  to  how 
little  purpose,  through  short-comings  upon  his  part, 
those  same  pieces  had  thundered  upon  the  Peninsula 
and  at  Antietam. 

Massed  in  close  columns  by  division  along  the 
main  road  leading  to  Warrenton,  the  troops  awaited 
the  last  of  the  grand  pageants  that  had  made  the 
Army  of  the  Potomac  famous  for  reviews.  Its  late 
Commander,  as  he  gracefully  sat  his  bay,  had  not  the 
nonchalance  of  manner  that  he  manifested  while 
reading  a  note  and  accompanying  our  earnest  Presi 
dent  in  a  former  review  at  Sharpsburg ;  nor  was  the 
quiet  dignity  that  he  usually  exhibited  when  at  the 
head  of  his  Staff,  apparent.  His  manner  seemed 
nervous,  his  look  doubly  anxious ;  troubled  in  the 
present,  and  solicitous  as  to  the  future.  Conscious, 
too,  doubtless,  as  he  faced  a  nation's  Eepresentatives 
in  arms,  how  he  had  "  kept  the  word  of  promise  to 
the  ear,"  and  how  "  he  had  broken  it  to  the  hope ;" 
how  while  his  reviews  had  revealed  a  mighty  army 
of  undoubted  ability  and  eagerness  for  the  fight,  his 
indecision  or  proneness  to  delay  had  made  its  cam 
paigns  the  laughing-stock  of  the  world.  His  brilliant 
Staff  clattered  at  his  heels ;  but  glittering  surroundings 
were  powerless  to  avert  the  memories  of  a  winter's 
inactivity  at  Manassas,  the  delay  at  Yorktown,  the 
blunders  on  the  Chickahominy,  or  the  disgrace  of  the 
day  after  Antietam.  How  closely  such  memories 
thronged  upon  this  thinking  soldiery,  and  how  little 
men  who  leave  families  and  business  for  the  field, 
from  the  necessity  of  the  case,  care  for  men  if  their 
measures  are  unsuccessful,  may  be  imagined,  when 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  189 

the  fact  is  known  that  this  same  Little  Mac,  once  so 
great  a  favorite  through  efforts  of  the  Press  and  offi 
cers  with  whom  he  had  peopled  the  places  in  his  gift, 
received  his  last  cheers  from  some  Divisions  of  that 
same  Army  by  word  of  command. 

"  A  long  farewell  to  all  his  greatness." 

Imbecile  in  politics  as  in  war,  he  cannot  retrieve  it  by 
cringing  to  party  purposes.  The  desire  that  actuates 
our  masses  and  demands  able  and  earnest  leaders  has 
long  since  dissolved  party  lines. 

This  leave-taking  was  followed  a  few  days  later  by 
that  of  the  Corps  Commander.  Troubled  looks,  sha 
dows  that  preceded  his  dark  future,  were  plainly  visi- 
ble  as  the  Prince  passed  up  and  down  the  lines  of  his 
late  command. 

Another  day  passed,  and  with  light  hearts  the  men 
brightened  their  muskets  for  a  Review  by  their  new 
Commander,  Major-General  Burnside,  or  "Burney,"  as 
they  popularly  called  the  Hero  of  Carolina  celebrity, 

But  the  day  did  not  seem  to  be  at  hand  that  should 
have  completed  the  reform  by  sweeping  and  garnish 
ing  disaffected,  not  to  say  dislo^yal  Head-Quarters — 
removing  from  command  men  who  were  merely  mar* 
tinets,  and  who  were  in  addition  committed  body  and 
soul  to  the  interests  of  their  late  Commander,  and  who, 
had  they  been  in  receipt  of  compensation  from  Rich- 
mond,  could  not  have  more  completely  labored  by 
their  halfhearted,  inefficient,  and  tyrannizing  course, 
to  crush  the  spirit  of  our  soldiery. 

"  What's  the  matter  with  Old  Pigey  ?"  inquired  a 
Sergeant,  detailed  on  guard  duty  at  Division  Head- 
Quarters,  as  he  saluted  his  Captain,  on  one  of  these 
evenings  at  Warrenton. 

"  Why?"  rejoined  the  Captain. 


190  RED-TAPE   AND 

"  The  General,"  continued  the  Sergeant,  "  was  walk 
ing  up  and  down  in  front  of  his  marquee  almost  all 
of  last  night,  talking  to  himself,  muttering,  and  at 
almost  every  other  step  stamping  and  swearing.  He 
had  a  bully  old  mad  on,  I  tell  you,  Captain.  He  went 
it  in  something  of  this  style." 

And  the  sergeant  himself  strode  up  and  down,  mut 
tering  and  stamping  and  swearing,  to  the  great  amuse 
ment  of  the  Captain  and  some  bystanders. 

The  unwillingness  to  bow  to  the  dictation  of  the 
President  as  Commander-in-Chief  in  his  most  right 
eous  removal  of  their  favorite,  caused  much  heart 
burning,  and  gave  rise  to  much  disloyal  conduct. 
That  it  was  tolerated  at  all  was  owing  to  the  unappre 
ciated  indulgence  or  hesitation  of  the  Administration, 
lest  it  should  undertake  too  much.  The  operation,  to 
have  been  skilful  and  complete,  required  nerve.  That 
article  so  necessary  for  this  crisis  is  in  the  ranks,  and 
let  us  trust  that  for  the  future  it  will  be  found  in 
greater  abundance  at  Washington. 

The  Southern  Saratoga,  as  Warrenton  has  been 
styled  among  the  fashionables  of  the  South,  has  much 
to  commend  it  in  situation  and  scenery,  as  a  place  of 
residence.  The  town  itself  is  an  odd  jumble  of  old 
and  new  buildings,  and  is  badly  laid  out,  or  rather 
not  laid  out  at  all,  as  the  streets  make  all  possible 
angles  with  each  other.  Yankee  enterprise  appears 
to  have  had  something  to  do  with  the  erection  of  the 
later  buildings.  Like  other  towns  of  that  neighbor 
hood  its  cemetery  is  heavily  peopled  with  Kebel  dead. 
At  the  time  of  our  occupancy  many  of  its  larger  build 
ings  were  still  occupied  as  hospitals. 

On  the  day  of  McClellan's  departure  the  streets 
were  crowded  with  officers  and  men,  and  the  sympa 
thies  of  the  Rebel  residents  seemed  strangely  in  unison 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  191 

with  those  of  the  chieftain's  favorites.  The  representa- 
tives  of  the  clannish  attachments  which  made  McClel- 
lanism  a  species  of  Masonry  in  the  army,  were  there 
in  force.  In  these  banded  interests  brotherly  love 
took  the  place  of  patriotism.  Little  wonder !  look 
ing  at  the  record  of  the  McClellan  campaigns,  that 
the  Rebels  present  fraternized  with  these  devotees  in 
their  grief. 

"  You  have  thrown  away  your  ablest  commander," 
said  an  elderly  man,  of  intelligent  and  gentlemanly 
appearance,  clad  in  the  uniform  of  a  surgeon  of  the 
Rebel  army,  who  stood  conversing  with  one  of  our 
own  surgeons,  on  the  sidewalk  of  the  main  street  of 
the  place,  while  the  crowd  gathered  to  witness  the 
departure  of  the  General. 

"Do  you.  really  think  so?"  rejoined  the  Union 
Surgeon,  as  he  earnestly  eyed  the  speaker. 

kt  Yes,  sir,"  said  the  Rebel,  emphatically.  "  It  is 
not  only  my  opinion  but  the  opinion  of  our  Gene 
rals  of  ability,  that  in  parting  with  McClellan  you 
lose  the  only  General  you  have  who  has  shown  any 
strategic  ability." 

"  If  that  be  your  opinion,  sir,"  was  the  decided 
reply,  "  the  sooner  we  are  rid  of  him  the  better." 

And  to  this  reply  the  country  says,  Amen  ! 

u  But  what  a  shame  it  is  that  military  genius  is  so 
little  appreciated  by  the  Administration,  and  that  he 
is  removed  just  at  this  time !  Why,  I  heard  our 
Colonel  say  that  he  had  heard  the  General  say,  that 
in  a  few  days  more,  he  would  have  won  a  decisive 
victory,"  remarked  a  young  officer,  in  a  jaunty  blue 
jacket,  to  a  companion,  gesticulating  as  he  spoke, 
with  a  cigar  between  the  first  and  second  fingers  of 
his  right  hand. 

An  older  officer,  who  overheard  the  remark,  ob- 


192  RED-TAPE   AND 

served,  drily : — "  He  was  not  removed  for  what  he 
would  do,  but  for  what  he  had  done." 

"  And  for  what  he  had  not  done,"  truthfully  added 
another. 

Never  had  General,  burdened  with  so  many  sins  of 
omission  and  commission,  as  the  conversation  indi 
cated,  been  so  leniently  dealt  with,  now  that  the 
Eebels  in  their  favorite,  and  with  him  successful  game 
of  hide  and  seek>  had  again  given  him  the  slip,  and 
were  only  in  his  front  to  annoy.  As  they  had  it  com 
pletely  in  their  power  to  prevent  a  general  engage 
ment  at  that  point)  his  remark  as  to  what  would  have 
been  done  was  a  very  rotten  twigj  caught  at  in  the 
vain  hope  of  breaking  his  falL 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  193 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

A.  Skulker  and  the  Dutch  Doctor — A  Review  of  the  Corps  by  Old 
Joe — A  Change,  of  Base;  what  it  means  to  the  Soldier,  and 
what  to  the  Public — Our  Quarter- Master  and  General  Hooker 
— The  Movement  by  the  Left  Flank — A  Division  General  and 
Dog-driving — The  Desolation  of  Virginia — A  Rebel  Land- 
Owner  and  the  Quarter-Master — "  No  IToss,  Sir  I " — The 
Poetical  Lieutenant  unappreciated — Mutton  or  Dog? — Desk 
Drudgery  and  Senseless  Routine, 

^  1  TT'S  about  time,  Bill,  for  you  to  have  another 
I  sick  on,"  said  a  lively  lad,  somewhat  jocosely, 
as  he  rubbed  away  at  his  musket-barrel,  on  one  of  our 
last  mornings  at  the  Camp,  near  Warrenton.  "  Fight 
ing  old  Joe  has  the  Corps  now,  and  he  will  review  us 
to-day,  the  Captain  says,  and  after  that  look  out  for  a 
move." 

"  Don't  say,"  drawled  out  the  man  addressed ;  a 
big,  lubberly  fellow,  famous  in  the  Kegiment  for 
shirking  duty — who,  when  picket  details  were  ex 
pected,-  or  a  march  in  prospect,  would  set  a  good 
example  of  punctuality  in  promptly  reporting  at  Sur 
geon's  call,  or  as  the  Camp  phrase  had  it,  "  stepping 
up  for  his  quinine."  "  Wei],"  continued  he,  "  Lord 
knows  what  I'll  do.  I've  had  the  rheumatics  awful 
bad,"  clapping  at  the  same  time  one  hand  on  his  hip, 
and  the  other  on  his  right  shoulder,  "  the  last  day  or 
two,  and  then  the  chronical  diarrhoear." 

9 


194  BED-TAPE   A1O> 

"  You  had  better  go  in  on  rheumatism,  Bill,"  broke 
in  the  first  speaker.  "  The  Doctor  will  let  you  off 
best  on  that." 

"  That's  played  out,  isn't  it,  Bill,"  chimed  in 
another  ;  and  to  Bill's  disgust,  as  he  continued, 
"  It  don't  go  with  the  little  Dutch  Doctor  since 
Sharpsburg.  Every  time  his  Company's  turn  would 
come  for  picket,  while  we  were  at  that  Camp,  Bill 
would  be  a  front-rank  man  at  the  Hospital,  with  a 
face  as  long  as  a  rail,  and  twisted  as  if  he  had  just 
had  all  his  back  teeth  pulled.  The  little  Dutch 
man  would  yell  out  whenever  he  would  see  him — 
'What  for  you  come?  Eh?  You  tarn  shneak. 
Rheumatism,  eh  ?  In  hip  ?'  And  the  Doctor  would 
punch  his'  shoulder  and  hip,  and  pinch  his  arms  and 
legs  until  Bill  would  squirm  like  an  eel  under  a  gig. 
1  Here,  Shteward,'  said  the  Doctor  the  last  time,  as 
he  scribbled  a  few  words  on  a  small  piece  of  paper, 
1  Take  this ;  make  application  under  left  ear,  and  see 
if  dis  tarn  rheumatism  come  not  out.'  Bill  followed 
the  Steward,  and  in  a  few  minutes  came  back  to 
.quarters  ornamented  with  a  fly-blister  as  big  as  a 
dollar  under  his  left  ear.  Next  morning  Bill  didn't 
report,  but  he's  been  going  it  since  on  diarrhoea." 

"  He  wasn't  smart,  there,"  observed  another.  "  He 
ought  to  have  done  as  little  Burky  of  our  mess  did. 
He'd  hurry  to  quarters,  take  the  blister  off,  clap  it  on 
again  next  morning  when  he'd  report,  and  he'd  have 
the  little  Dutchman  swearing  at  the  blister  for  not 
being  '  wors  a  tarn.'  " 

Bill  took -the  sallies  of  the  crowd  with  the  quiet 
remark  that  their  turn  for  the  sick  list  would  come 
some  day. 

The  Review  on  that  day  was  a  grand  affair.  The 
fine-looking  manly  form  of  Old  Joe,  as,  in  spite  of  a 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  195 

bandaged  left  ancle  not  j-et  recovered  from  the  wound 
at  Antietam,  and  that  kept  the  foot  out  of  the  stirrup, 
he  rode  down  the  line  at  a  gait  that  tested  the  horse 
manship  of  his  followers,  was  the  admiration  of  the 
men.  In  his  honest  and  independent  looking  counte 
nance  they  read,  or  thought  they  could,  character  too 
purely  republican  to  allow  of  invidious  distinctions 
between  men,  who,  in  their  country's  hour  of  need, 
had  left  civil  pursuits  at  heavy  sacrifices,  and  those 
who  served  simply  because  the  service  was  to  them 
the  business  of  life.  With  hearts  that  kept  lively 
beat  with  the  regimental  music  as  they  marched  past 
their  new  Commander,  they  rejoiced  at  this  mark  of 
attention  to  the  necessities  of  the  country,  which  re 
moved  an  Officer,  notorious  as  a  leader  of  reserves, 
and  placed  them  under  the  care  of  a  man  high  on  the 
list  of  fighting  Generals.  "  Waterloo,"  says  the  his 
toric  or  rather  philosophic  novelist  of  France,  "  was  a 
change  of  front  of  the  universe."  The  results  of  that 
contest  are  matter  of  record,  and  justify  the  remark. 
At  Warrenton  a  great  Kepublic  changed  front,  and 
henceforth  the  milk  and  water  policy  of  conciliating 
"  our  Southern  Brethren  "  ranked  as  they  are  behind 
bristling  bayonets,  or  of  intimidating  them  by  a  mere 
show  of  force,  must  give  way  to  active  campaigning 
and  heavy  blows. 

A  rainy,  misty  morning  a  day  or  two  after  the 
review,  saw  the  Corps  pass  through  Warrenton,  en 
route  for  the  Railroad  Junction,  commencing  the 
change  of  direction  by  the  left  flank,  ordered  by  the 
new  Commander  of  the  Army.  The  halt  for  the 
night  was  made  in  a  low  piece  of  woodland  lying 
south  of  the  railroad.  In  column  of  Regiments  the 
Division  encamped,  and  in  a  space  of  time  incredible 
to  those  not  familiar  with  such  scenes,  knapsacks  were 


196  BED-TAPE   AND 

unslung  and  the  smoke  of  a  thousand  camp-fires 
slowly  struggled  upwards  through  the  falling  rain. 
Its 'pelting  was  not  needed  to  lull  the  soldiers,  weary 
from  the  wet  march  and  slippery  roads,  to  slumber. 

At  early  dawn  they,  left  the  Junction  and  its  busy 
scenes — its  lengthy  freight-trains,  and  almost  acres  of 
baggage- wagons,  to  the  rear,  and  struck  the  route 
assigned  the  Grand  Division,  of  which  they  were  part, 
for  Fredericksburg.  "  A  change  of  base"  our  friends 
will  read  in  the  leaded  headings  of  the  dailies,  and 
pass  it  by  as  if  it  were  a  transfer  of  an  article  of  fur 
niture  from  one  side  of  the  room  to  the  other.  Little 
know  they  how  much  individual  suffering  from  heavy 
knapsacks  and  blistered  feet,  confusion  of  wagon- 
trains,  wrangling  and  swearing  of  teamsters,  and  vexa 
tion  in  almost  infinite  variety,  are  comprised  in  these 
few  words.  It  is  the  army  that  moves,  however,  and 
the  host  of  perplexities  move  with  it,  all  unknown  to 
the  great  public,  and  transient  with  the  actors  them 
selves  as  bubbles  made  by  falling  rain  upon  the  lake. 
The  delays  incident  to  a  wagon-train  are  legion.  Oc 
curring  among  the  foremost  wagons,  they  increase  so 
rapidly  that  notwithstanding  proper  precaution  and 
slowness  in  front,  a  rear-guard  will  often  be  kept  run 
ning.  The  profanity  produced  by  a  single  chuck 
hole  in  a  narrow  road  appears  to  increase  in  arithmeti 
cal  proportion  as  the  wagons  successively  approach, 
and  teamsters  in  the  rear  find  their  ingenuity  taxed  to 
preserve  their  reputation  for  the  vice  with  their  fellows. 

Why  negroes  are  not  more  generally  employed  as 
teamsters  is  a  mystery.  They  are  proverbially  patient 
and  enduring.  Both  the  interests  of  humanity  and 
horseflesh  would  be  best  subserved  by  such  employ 
ment,  and  the  ranks  would  not  be  reduced  by  the  con 
stant  and  heav}^  details  of  able-bodied  men  for  that 


PIGEON-HOLE    GEXEHALS.  197 

duty.  Capita]  and  careful  horsemen  are  to  be  found 
among  the  contrabands  of  Virginia,  and  many  a  poor 
beast,  bad  in  harness  because  badly  treated,  would  re 
joice  at  the  change. 

Quarter-masters,  Wagon-masters,  Commissaries,  et 
id  genus  omne,  have  their  peculiar  troubles.  Our 
Regiment  was  particularly  favored  in  a  Quarter-mas 
ter  of  accomplished  business  tact,  whose  personal  su 
pervision  over  the  teams  during  a  march  was  untiring, 
and  whose  tongue  was  equally  tireless  in  rehearsing  to 
camp  crowds,  after  the  march  was  over,  the  troubles 
of  the  day,  and  how  gloriously  he  surmounted  them. 
In  his  department  he  held  no  divided  command. 

"  Get  out  of  my  train  with  that  ambulance.  You 
can't  cut  me  off  in  that  style,"  he  roared  in  an  authori 
tative  manner  to  an  ambulance  driver,  who  had  slipped 
in  between  two  of  his  wagons  on  the  second  day  of 
our  march. 

"  My  ambulance  was  ordered  here,  sir  I  I  have 
General "  The  driver's  reply  was  here  inter 
rupted  by  the  abrupt  exclamation  of  the  Quarter-mas 
ter— 

"  I  don't  care  a  d -n  if  you  have  Old  Joe  him 
self  inside.  I  command  this  train  and  you  must  get 
out."  And  get  out  the  driver  did,  at  the  intimation 
of  his  passenger,  who,  to  the  surprise  of  the  Quarter 
master,  notwithstanding  his  assertion,  turned  out  to 
be  no  less  a  personage  than  General  Hooker  himself. 

"  It  is  the  law"of  the  road,"  said  the  General,  good- 
humoredly — candid  to  his  own  inconvenience— "  and 
we  must  obey  it." 

This  ready  obedience  upon  the  part  of  the  General 
was  better  in  effect  than  any  order  couched  in  the 
strongest  terms  for  the  enforcemjent  of  discipline. 
The  incident  was  long  a  frequent  subject  of  co river- 


198  RED-TAPE   AND 

sation,  and  added  greatly  to  his  popularity  as  a  com 
mander.  The  men  were  fond  of  contrasting  it  with 
the  conduct  of  the  General  of  Division,  who  but  a 
few  days  Jater  cursed  a  poor  teamster  with  all  manner 
of  profanely  qualifying  adjectives  because  he  could 
not  give  to  the  General  and  his  Staff  the  best  part  of 
a  difficult  road. 

But  perhaps  the  men  held  their  General  of  Division 
to  too  strict  an  accountability.  He  was  still  laboring 
under  the  spell  of  Warrenton.  His  nervous  system 
had  doubtless  been  deranged  by  the  removal  of  his- 
favorite  Chief,  or  rather  Dictator,  as  he  had  hoped  he 
might  be.  "  No  one  could  command  the  army  but 
McClellan,"  the  General  had  said  in  his  disgust — a 
disgust  that  would  have  driven  him  from  the  service, 
but  that,  fortunately  for  himself  and  unfortunately  for 
his"  country,  it  was  balanced  by  the  pay  and  emolu 
ments  of  a  Brigadiership.  Reluctant  to  allow  Burn- 
side  quietly,  a  Caesar's  opportunity  to  "cover  his  bald 
ness  with  laurels,"  his  whimsical  movements,  now- 
galloping  furiously  and  purposeless  from  front  to 
rear,  and  from  rear  to  front  of  his  command,  cursing 
the  officers, — and  that  for  fancied  neglect  of  duty, — 
poorly  concealed  the  workings  of  his  mind. 

In  one  of  these  rapid  rides,  his  eye  caught  sight 
of  a  brace  of  young  hounds  following  one  of  the 
Sergeants. 

"  Where  did  those  dogs  come  from.?  " 

"  They  have  followed  me  from  the  last  wood,  sir." 

"  Let  them  go,  sir,  this  instant.     Send  them  ba*k, 

sir.     D n  you,  sir,  I'll  teach  you  to  respect  private 

property,"  replied  the  General,  deploying  his  staff  at 
the  same  time  to  assist  in  driving  the  dogs  back,  as 
notwithstanding  the  efforts  of  the  Sergeant  to  send 
them  to  the  rear,  they  crouched  at  a  respectful  distance 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  199 

and  eyed  him  wistfully.  "  D n  you,  sir,  I  am  the 

General  commanding  the  Division,  sir,  and  by  G — d, 
sir,  I  command  you,  as  such,  to  send  those  dogs  back, 
sir!"  nervously  stammered  the  General  as  he  rode 
excitedly  from  one  side  of  the  ro£d  to  the  other  in 
front  of  the  Sergeant. 

The  affair  speedily  became  ridiculous.  Driving 
dogs  was  evidently  with  the  General  a  more  congenial 
employment  than  manoeuvring  men.  But  his  effort£ 
in  the  one  proved  as  unsuccessful  as  in  the  other,  as 
notwithstanding  the  aid  afforded  by  his  followers,  the 
dogs  would  turn  tail  but  for  a  short  distance.  After 
swearing  most  dogmatically,  as  an  officer  remarked,  he 
turned  to  resume  his  ride  to  the  head  of  the  column, 
but  had  not  gone  ten  yards  before  there  was  a  whistle 
for  the  dogs.  Squab  was  sent  back  to  ferret  out  the 
offender.  The  whistling  increased,  and  shortly  the 
whole  Staff  and  the  Regimental  officers  were  engaged 
in  an  attempt  at  its  suppression.  But  in  vain.  Whis 
tling  in  Company  A,  found  echoes  in  Company  B ; 
and  after  some  minutes  of  fruitless  riding  hither  and 
thither  the  General  was  forced  to  retire  under  a  storm 
of  all  kinds  of  dog-calls,  swelled  in  volume  by  the 
adjacent  Regiments. 

That  authority  should  be  thus  abused  by  the  Gene 
ral  in  endeavoring  to  enforce  his  ridiculous  order, 
and  set  at  naught  by  the  men  in  thus  mocking  at 
obedience,  is  to  be  deprecated.  The  men  took  that 
method  of  rebuking  the  inconsistency,  which  would 
permit  Regular  and  many  Volunteer  Regiments  to  be 
followed  by  all  manner  of  dogs, 

"  Both  mongrel,  puppy,  whelp  and  hound, 
And  cur  of  low  degree," 

and  yet  refuse  them  the  accidental  company  of  but  a 
brace  of  canines.  A  simple  report  of  the  offender, 


200  BED-TAPE   AND 

supposing  the  Sergeant  to  have  been  one,  would  have 
been  the  proper  course,  and  would  have  saved  a  Gene 
ral  of  Division  the  disgrace  of  being  made  a  laughing 
stock  for  his  command. 

"Talent  is  something:  but  tact  is  everything," 
said  an  eminent  man,  and  nowhere  has  the  remark  a 
more  truthful  application  than  in  the  army. 

A  favorite  employment  after  the  evening  halt, 
during  this  three  days'  march,  was  the  gathering  of 
mushrooms.  The  old  fields  frequent  along  the  route 
abounded  with  them,  and  many  a  royal  meal  they 
furnished.  To  farmers'  sons  accustomed  to  the  sight 
of  close  cultivation,  these  old  fields,  half  covered  with 
stunted  pines,  sassafras,  varieties  of  spice  wood,  and 
the  never-failing  persimmon  tree,  were  objects  of  cu 
riosity.  It  was  hard  to  realize  that  we  were  marching 
through  a  country  once  considered  the  Garden  of 
America,  whose  bountiful  supplies  and  large  planta 
tions  had  become  classic  through  the  pen  of  an  Irving 
and  other  famous  writers.  Fields  princely  in  size, 
but  barren  as  Sahara ;  buildings,  once  comfortable 
residences,  but  now  tottering  into  ruin,  are  still  there, 
but  uall  else  how  changed."  The  country  is  desola 
tion  itself.  Game  abounds,  but  whatever  required, 
the  industry  of  man  for  its  continuance  has  disap 
peared. 

Civilization,  which  in  younger  States  has  felled  for 
ests,  erected  school-houses,  given  the  fertility  of  a  gar 
den  to  the  barren  coast  of  the  northern  Atlantic  and 
the  wild-wood  of  the  West,  could  not  coalesce  with 
the  curse  of  slavery,  and  Virginia  has  been  passed  by 
in  her  onward  march.  This  field  of  pines  that  you 
see  on  our  right,  whose  tops  are  so  dense  and  even  as 
to  resemble  at  a  distance  growing  grain,  may  have 
been  an  open  spot  over  which  Washington  followed 


PIGEON-ROLE   GENERALS.  201 

• 

his  hounds  in  ante-revolutionary  days.  The  land 
abounds  in  memories.  The  very  names  of  the  degene 
rate  families  who  eke  out  a  scanty  subsistence  on 
some  corner  of  what  was  once  an  extensive  family 
seat,  remind  one  of  the  old  Colonial  aristocracy. 
Reclamation  of  the  soil,  as  well  as  deliverance  of 
the  enslaved,  must  result  from  this  civil  war.  Both 
worth  fighting  for.  So  "Forward,  men,  ""Guide 
right,"  as  in  very  truth  we  are  in  Divine  Providence 
guided. 

The  long-haired,  furtive-looking  Withers  and  sons, 
representatives  of  all  this  ancient  nobility,  after  having 
given  over  their  old  homesteads  to  their  female  or 
helpless  male  slaves,  and  massed  their  daughters  and 
wives  apparently  in  every  tenth  house,  were  keeping 
parallel  pace  with  us  on  the  lower  bank  of  the  Kap- 
pahannock.  It  was  the  inevitable  logic  of  the  law  of 
human  progress,  declaring  America  to  be  in  reality 
the  land  of  the  free,  that  compelled  these  misguided, 
miserable  remnants  of  an  aristocracy,  to  shiver  in 
rags  around  November  camp-fires.  "  They  are  joined 
to  their  idols" — but  now  that  after  years  of  legislative 
encroachment  upon  the  rights  of  suffering  humanity, 
they  engage  in  a  rebellious  outbreak  against  a  God- 
given  Government,  we  will  not  let  them  alone  in  an 
idolatry  that  desolates  the  fair  face  of  nature  and 
causes  such  shameful  degeneracy  of  the  human  race. 
Justice!  slow,  but  still  sure  and  retributive  justice! 
How  sublimely  grand  in  her  manifestations !  After 
years  of  patient  endurance  of  the  proud  contumely 
of  South  Carolina,  New  England  granite  blocks  up 
the  harbor  of  Charleston — Massachusetts  volunteers 
cook  their  coffee  in  the  fireplaces  of  the  aristocratic 
homesteads  of  Beaufort,  and  negroes  rally  to  a  roll- 
call  at  Bunker  Hill,  but  as  volunteers  in  a  war  which 

9* 


202  RED-TAPE   AND 

insures  them  liberty,  and  not  as  slaves,  as  was  once 
vainly  prophesied. 

"  Who  commands  you  ?  "  inquired  a  long,  lean, 
slightly  stooped,  sallow-faced  man  of  about  fifty,  with 
eyes  that  rolled  in  all  directions  but  towards  the  offi 
cer  he  addressed,  and  long  hair  thrown  back  of  his 
ears  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  up  an  appearance  that 
would  readily  attract  the  attention  of  a  police  officer. 

"  I  command  this  Regiment,  sir,"  replied  the  Colo 
nel,  who,  at  the  end  of  the  day's  march,  was  busied  in 
directing  a  detail  where  to  pitch  the  Head-quarter  tents. 

"  Goin'  to  stay  yer — right  in  this  meadow  ?  "  con 
tinued  the  man,  in  the  half  negro  dialect  common  with 
the  whites  of  the  South. 

"  That  is  what  we  purpose  doing,  sir.  Are  you  the 
owner?  " 

"  Y-a-a-s,"  drawled  out  the  man,  pulling  his  slouch 
felt  still  further  over  his  eyes.  "  This  meadow  is  the 
best  part  of  my  hull  farm." 

"  Great  country,  this,"  broke  in  the  Quarter-master. 
"  Why  a  kill-deer  couldn't  fly  over  it  without  car 
rying  a  knapsack.  You  don't  think  that  camping 
upon  this  meadow  will  injure  it  any,  do  you?  " 

"Right  smart  it  will,  I  reckon,"  rejoined  the  man, 
his  eyes  kindling  somewhat,  "right  smart,  it  will. 
$1500  at  least." 

"  What !     What  did  the  land  cost  you  ?  " 

"Wall,  I  paid  at  the  rate  of  $15  the  acre  for  118 
acres,  and  the  buildings  and  12  acres  on  it  are  in  this 
meadow,  and  the  best  bit  of  it,  too." 

"  Then  you  want  to  make  us  pay  nearly  what  the 
whole  farm  cost  you  for  using  the  meadow  a  single 
night?" 

"  Wall,  I  reckon  as  how  the  rails  will  all  be  gone, 
and  the  sod  all  cut  up,  and -" 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  203 

"Well,  I  reckon,"  interrupted  the  Quarter-master, 
"  that  you  ought  to  prove  your  loyalty  before  you  talk 
about  claiming  damages  from  Uncle  Sam." 

"Oh!  I'm  on  nary  side,  on  nary  side;"  and  he 
looked  half  suspiciously  about  the  crowd,  now  some 
what  increased.  "  I'm  too  old;  besides,  my  left  knee 
is  crippled  up  bad,"  limping  as  he  said  so,  to  sustain 
his  assertion. 

"  Where  are  your  children  ?" 

"  My  two  boys  and  son-in-law  are  off  with  the 
South,  but  I'm  not  'countable  for  them." 

"  Well,  sir,  you'll  have  to  prove  your  loyalty  before 
you  get  a  receipt  from  me  for  any  amount." 

"  Prove  my  loyalty  ?  "  he  muttered,  at  the  same 
time  looking  blank.  "What  sort  of  swearin'  have 
you  for  that  ?  " 

"  Don't  swear  him  at  all,  at  all,"  broke  in  the  little 
Irish  Corporal.  "Swearing  is  no  substitute  for 
swinging.  Faith !  he's  up  to  that  business.  It's  mate 
and  drink  to  him.  Make  him  whistle  Yankee  Doodle 
or  sing  Hail  Columbia.  Be  jabers,  it  is  not  in  his 
looks  to  do  it  without  choking." 

Terence's  suggestion  met  with  a  general  laugh  of 
approval.  The  old  fellow,  finding  himself  in  a  crowd 
slow  to  appreciate  his  claim  for  damages  when  his 
loyalty  was  at  a  discount,  made  off  towards  his  house, 
a  dingy,  two-story  frame  near  by,  reminded  by  the 
Colonel  as  he  left  that  he  would  be  expected  to  keep 
closely  within  doors  while  the  troops  were  in  that 
vicinity. 

This  sovereign  of  the  soil  was  a  fair  specimen  of  the 
landed  gentry  of  Virginia."  "  On  nary  side,"  as  he 
expressed  it,  when  the  Federal  troops  were  in  his  neigh 
borhood,  and  yet  malignant  and  dastardly  enough 
to  maltreat  any  sick  or  wounded  Union  soldier  that 


204  KED-TAPE    AND 

chance  might  throw  into  his  hands.  The  less  reserved 
tongues  of  his  daughters  told  plainly  enough  where 
the  family  stood  on  the  great  question  of  the  day. 
But  while  they  recounted  to  some  of  the  junior  offi 
cers  who  were  always  on  the  alert  in  making  female 
acquaintances,  their  long  lists  of  famous  relatives, 
they  had  all  the  eagerness  of  the  Yankee,  so  much 
despised  in  the  Eichmond  prints,  in  disposing  of  half- 
starved  chickens  and  heavy  hoe-cakes  at  extor 
tionate  prices.  With  their  dickering  propensities 
there  was'  an  amount  of  dirt  on  their  persons  and 
about  the  premises,  and  roughness  in  their  man 
ners,  that  did  great  discredit  to  the  memory  of  Poca- 
hontas. 

"  You  have  the  old  horse  tied  up  close,"  casually 
remarked  a  spruce  young  Sergeant  who,  in  obedience 
to  orders  from  Division  Head-quarters,  had  just  sta 
tioned  a  guard  in  the  yard  of  the  premises,  alluding 
to  an  old,  worn-out  specimen  of  horseflesh  tied  up  so 
closely  to  the  house  that  his  head  and  neck  were  almost 
a  straight  line. 

"  Yon's  no  hoss,  sir.  It's  a  mare,"  quickly  retorted 
one  of  those  black-ej^ed  beauties. 

The  polite  Sergeant,  who  had  dressed  himself  with 
more  than  usual  care,  in  the  expectation  of  meeting 
the  ladies,  colored  somewhat,  but  the  young  lady,  in 
a  matter-of-course  strain,  went  on  to  say, 

"  She's  the  only  one  left  us,  too.  Preston  and  Mon- 
cuTe  took  the  rest  with  them,  and  they  say  they've 
nearly  used  'em  up  chasing  you  Yanks." 

Her  unlady-like  demeanor  and  exulting  allusion  to 
the  Eebel  cavalry  tested  to  the  utmost  the  Sergeant's 
qualities  as  a  gentleman.  A  dicker  for  a  pair  of 
chickens,  accomplished  by  his  substituting  a  little 
ground  coffee,  for  a  great  sum  in  green-backs,  soon 


PIGEOX-HOLE    GENERALS.  205 

brought  about  a  better  understanding,  however,  on 
the  part  of  the  damsel. 

A  few  hours  later  saw  the  Adjutant  and  our  poeti 
cal  Lieutenant  snugly  seated  on  split-bottomed 
chairs  in  a  dirty  kitchen.  Random  conversation,  in 
which  the  women  let  slip  no  opportunity  of  reminding 
their  visitors  of  the  soldierly  qualities  of  the  Eebels, 
interrupted  by  the  occasional  bleating  of  sheep  and 
bawling  of  calves  in  the  cellar,  made  the  evening's 
entertainment  novel  and  interesting.  So  much  so 
that  at  a  late  hour  the  Lieutenant,  who  had  invested 
closely  the  younger  of  the  two,  said,  half  sighing,  as 
he  gave  her  a  fond  look, 

"  With  thee  conversing.  I  forget  all  time, 
All " 

"Wall,  I  reckon  I  don't,"  broke  in  the  matter-of- 
fact  young  lady.  "  Sal,  just  kick  yon  door  around." 
As  Sal  did  her  bidding,  and  the  full  moon  on  the  face 
of  an  old  fashioned  corner  clock  was  disclosed,  she 
continued,  "It's  just  ten  minutes  after  eleven,  and 
you  Yanks  had  better  be  off." 

Although  the  Adjutant  was 

"  Like  steel  amid  the  din  of  arms  ; 
Like  wax  when  with  the  fair," 

this  lack  of  appreciation  of  poetic  sentiment  so  ab 
ruptly  shown,  brought  him  out  in  a  roar,  and -com 
pletely  disconcerted  the  Lieutenant.  They  both 
retired  speedily,  and  long  after,  the  circumstance  was 
one  of 'the  standing  jokes  of  the  camp. 

One  of  the  most  prominent  and  eagerly  wished-for 
occurrences  in  camp,  is  the  arrival  of  the  mail.  The 
well  rilled  bag,  looking  much  like  one  of  the  bags  of 
documents  forwarded  by  Congressmen  for  private  pur 
poses  at  Uncle  Sam's  expense,  was  emptied  out  on 
the  sod  that  evening  in  front  of  the  Colonel's  marquee, 


206  RED-TAPE   AND 

and  bundles  contain  ing  boots,  tobacco,  bread,  clothing 
of  all  kinds,  eatables,  and  what-not, — for  at  that  time 
Uncle  Sam's  army  mails  did  a  heavy  express  busi 
ness, — were  eyed  curiously,  by  the  crowd  impatient  for 
distribution.  Most  singular  of  all  in  shape  and  feeling 
was  a  package,  heavily  postmarked,  and  addressed  to 
the  Colonel.  It  contained  what  was  a  God-send  to 
the  larder  of  the  mess, — a  quarter  of  fine  tender  meat. 
But  what  kind  of  animal,  was  the  query.  The  Major, 
who  was  a  Nimrod  in  his  own  locality,  after  the  most 
thorough  inspection,  and  the  discovery  of  a  short 
straight  hair  upon  it,  pronounced  it  venison,  or  young 
kid,  arid  confirmed  the  Colonel  in  the  belief  that  he 
had  been  remembered  by  one  of  his  Western  friends. 
But  deer  or  dog  was  a  matter  of  indifference  to  hun 
gry  campaigners.  A  hearty  meal  was  made  of  it, 
and  speculation  continued  until  the  Brigadier,  who 
had  perpetrated  the  joke  upon  the  Colonel,  saw  fit, 
long  after,  to  reveal  that  it  was  mutton  that  had 
been  taken  from  some  marauders  during  the  day's 
march. 

During  the  first  and  second  days  of  the  march,  can 
nonading  had  been  heard  at  intervals  on  the  right 
flank.  This  day,  however,  the  silence  was  ominous ; 
and  now  at  its  close,  with  our  army  in  close  proximity 
to  Frcdericksburg,  it  indicated  peaceable,  unopposed 
possession,  or  delay  of  our  own  forces.  But  of  the 
delay  and  its  cause,  provoking  as  it  was,  and  costly 
as  it  has  proved,  enough  has  probably  been  written. 
An  Investigating  Committee  has  given  the  public  full 
records.  If  we  do  not  learn  that  delinquents  have 
been  punished,  let  us  hope  that  the  warning  has  been 
sufficient  to  avoid  like  difficulties  in  the  future. 

Our  army  quietly  turned  into  carnp  among  the 
wooded  heights  of  Stafford,  opposite  the  town  of 


PIGEOX-HOLE    GEXERALS.  207 

Fredericksburg.  The  Rebels  as  quietly  collected  their 
forces  and  encamped  on  the  heights  upon  the  opposite 
side  of  the  river.  Day  by  day  we  could  see  them 
busily  at  work  upon  their  fortifications.  Each  morn 
ing  fresh  mounds  of  earth  appeared  at  different 
points  in  the  semi-circular  range  of  hills  bounding 
Fredericksburg  upon,  the  South  and  West.  This 
valuable  time  was  made  use  of  by  the  pontoon  train 
at  the  rate  of  four  miles  per  day. 

The  three  Grand  Divisions,  now  that  their  stately 
march  by  the  flank  was  over,  had  settled  comfortably 
down  among  the  hills  of  Stafford.  Wood  and  water, 
essentials  for  camp  comfort,  were  to  be  found  in  abun 
dance.  While  the  little  parleying  between  the  Com 
mander  of  the  Right  Grand  Division  and  the  civil 
authorities  of  Fredericksburg  continued,  matters  were 
somewhat  in  suspense.  But  a  gradual  quiet  crept 
over  the  army,  and  in  a  few  short  weeks  that  heavily 
timbered  country  was  one  vast»field  of  stumps,  with 
here  and  there  clusters  of  pine  trees  left  standing  for 
the  comfort  of  different  Head-quarters.  As  the  tim 
ber  disappeared,  the  tents  and  huts  of  the  army  before 
concealed  in  the  forests  were  disclosed,  and  the  whole 
country  in  the  vicinity  of  the  railroad  was  a  contin 
uous  camp.  The  few  open  fields  or  barrens  afforded 
fine  review  and  drill  grounds,  and  the  toils  of  the 
inarch  were  scarcely  over  before  in  all  directions  could 
be  heard  the  steady  tramp  of  solid  columns  engaged 
in  the  evolutions  of  the  field. 

Those  who  think  that  duties  are  light  in  camp, 
know  nothing  of  the  legions  of  reports,  statements  in 
duplicate  and  triplicate,  required  by  the  too  often 
senseless  formalities  of  red  tape.  These  duties  vary 
greatly  in  different  divisions.  With  a  place-man, 
mechanical  in  his  movements,  and  withal  not  disposed 


208  BED-TAPE    AXD 

to  lighten  labor,  they  multiply  to  a  surprising  extent, 
and  subs  intrusted  with  their  execution  often  find 
that  the  most  laborious  part  of  the  service  is  drudgery 
at  the  desk.  Night  after  night  would  repose  at  Regi- 
rnental  Head-quarters  be  interrupted  by  repetitious 
and  in  many  cases  inconsistent  orders,  the  only  pur 
pose  of  which  appeared  to^be,  to  remind  drowsy 
Adjutants  and  swearing  Sergeant- Majors  that  the 
Commanding  General  of  Division  still  ruled  at  Divi 
sion  Head-quarters,  and  that*  he  was  most  alive 
between  the  hours  of  nine  and  twelve  at  night.  Inde 
pendently  of  the  fact  that  in  most  cases  in  ordinary 
camp-life  there  was  no  reason  why  these  orders  should 
not  have  issued  in  business  hours,  their  multiplicity 
was  a  nuisance.  The  pen  may  be  mightier  than  the 
sword,  but  in  all  conscience  when  the  pen  has  been 
through  necessity  ignored,  and  the  sword  is  uplifted 
for  rapid  and  earnest  blows,  and  the  heart  of  a  nation 
hangs  in  heavy  suspense  upon  its  movements,  these 
travelling  Bureaux  *had  better  be  abolished.  Su- 
peradded  to  all  this,  was  the  labor  resulting  from  the 
mania  for  Court-Martialing  that  raged  at  Division 
Head-quarters.  Mechanical  in  its  movements,  not  un- 
frequently  malignant  in  its  designs,  officer  after 
officer,  earnest  in  purpose,  but  in  some  instances  per 
haps  deficient  in  detail,  had  been  sacrificed  to  an  ab 
solutism  that  could  order  the  charges,  detail  the  Court, 
play  the  part  of  principal  witness  for  the  prosecution, 
and  confirm  the  proceedings. 

"  Our  volunteer  force  will  never  amount  to  much, 
until  we  attain  the  exact  discipline  of  the  French  ser 
vice,"  was  the  frequent  remark  of  a  General  of  Divi 
sion.  Probably  not.  But  how  much  would  its 
efficiency  be  increased,  had  the  policy  of  the  great 
Napoleon,  from  whose  genius  the  French  arms  derive 


PIGEOX-HOLE   GENERALS.  209 

their  lustre,  prevailed,  in  detailing  for  desk  duty  in 
quiet  departments  the  mechanical  minds  of  paper 
Generals.  His  master  tact  in  assigning  to  comman 
ders  legitimate  spheres  of  work,  and  with  it  the  un 
tiring  zeal  of  a  Cromwell  that  would  run  like  a 
purifying  fire  through  the  army,  imparting  to  it  its 
own  impetuosity,  and  ridding  it  of  jealousy  and  disaf 
fection,  were  greatly  needed  in  this  Grand  Army  of 
the  Potomac.  Nobler  men  never  stood  in  ranks ! 
Holier  banners  never  flaunted  in  the  sunlight  of 
Heaven  !  God  grant  its  directing  minds  correspond 
ing  energy  and  wisdom. 


210  BED-TAPE  AND 


CHAPTER    XV. 

Red  Tape  and  the  Soldier's  Widow — Pigeon-holing  at  Head' 
Quarters  and  Weeping  at  the  Family  Fireside — A  Pigeon-hole 
General  Outwitted — Fishing  for  a  Discharge — The  Little  Irish 
Corporal  on  Topographical  Engineers —  Cruard  Duty  over  a 
Whiskey  Barrel. 


Penna,,  Nov.  — ,  1862. 


MY  DEAR  GEORGE  : — This  is  the  first  spare  time 
that  I  have  been  able. to  get  during  the  last  week  for 
a  letter  to  my,  dear  husband.  And  now  that  there  is 
quiet  in  the  house,  and  our  dear  little  boys  are  sound 
asleep,  and  the  covers  nicely  tucked  about  them  in 
their  little  trundle,  I  feel  that  I  can  scarcely  write. 
There  is  such  a  heaviness  upon  my  heart.  When  I 
saw  the  crowd  at  the  telegraph  office  this  morning 
while  on  my  way  to  church,  and  heard  that  they 
were  expecting  news  of  a  great  battle  on  the  Rappa- 
hannock,  such  a  feeling  of  helplessness,  sinking  of 
the  heart,  and  dizziness  came  oyer  me,  that  I  almost 
fell  upon  the  pavement.  The  great  battle  that  all 
expect  so  eagerly,  may  mean  our  dear  little  children 
fatherless  and  myself  a  widow.  Oh,  George,  I  feel 
so  sad  and  lonely,  and  then  every  footstep  I  hear  at 
the  door  I  am  afraid  some  one  is  coming  with  bad 
news/  Your  last  letter,  too,  I  do  not  like.  I  am 
afraid  that  more  is  the  matter  with  you  than  you  are 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  211 

willing  to  admit.  You  promised  me,  too,  that  you 

would  apply  for  a  furlough.  Lieut.  H has  been 

twice  at  home  since  he  went  out.  You  know  he  is 
in  Sickles'  Division. 

Our  precious  little  boys  keep  asking  continually 
when  papa  will  come  home.  Little  Georgie  says  he 
is  a  "du-du,"  you  know  that  is  what  he  calls  a  soldier, 
and  he  gets  the  old  sword  you  had  in  the  three  months' 
service,  and  struts  up  and  down  at  a  great  rate. 
They  can  both  say  the  Lord's  prayer  now,  and  every 
night  when  they  get  through  with  it,  they  ask  God  to 
bless  papa  and  mamma,  and  all  the  Union  u  du-dus."  I 
do  wish  that  you  could  see  them  in  their  little  uGadi- 

baldis,"  as  Harry  calls  them.  When  I  see  Mr.  B 

and  others  take  their  evening  walks  with  their  chil 
dren,  just  as  you  used  to  do  with  Georgie,  it  takes  all 
the  grace  and  all  the  patriotism  I  can  muster  to  keep 
from  murmuring. 

Mr.  G says  that  we  need  not  trouble  about  the 

rent  this  quarter,  that  he  will  wait  until  you  are  paid. 
The  neighbors,  too,  are  very  kind  to  me,  and  I  have 
been  kept  so  busy  with  work  from  the  shops,  that  I 
have  made  enough  to  pay  all  our  little  expenses.  But 
for  all,  George,  I  cannot  help  wishing  every  minute 
of  the  day  that  "  this  cruel  war  was  over"  and  you 
safe  back.  At  a  little  sewing  party  that  we  had  the 

other  day,  Em  D sang  that  old  song  "  When 

wild  war's  deadly  blast  was  blown,"  that  you  used  to 
read  to  me  so  often,  and  when  I  heard  of  "sweet 
babes  being  fatherless,"  and  "  widows  mourning,"  I 
burst  into  tears.  I  do  not  know  why  it  is,  but  1  feel 
as  if  expecting  bad  news  continually.  Our  little  boys 
say  "  don't  cry,  mamma,"  in  such  a  way  when  I  put 
them  to  bed  at  night,  and  tell  them  that  I  kiss  them 
for  you  too,  that  it  makes  me  feel  all  the  worse.  I 


212  BED-TAPE   AXD 

know  it  is  wrong.  I  know  our  Heavenly  Father 
knows  what  is  best  for  us.  I  hope  by  this  time  you 
have  learned  to  put  your  trust  in  him.  That  is  the 
best  preparation  for  the  battle-field. 

Do  not  fail  to  come  home  if  you  can.  God  bless 
you,  George,  and  protect  you,  is  the  prayer  of 

Your  loving  wife, 
MARY, 

On  a  low  cot  in  the  corner  of  a  hospital  tent,  near 
Potomac  Creek,  propped  up  by  some  extra  blankets 
kindly  loaned  him  by  his  comrades,  toward  the  close 
of  a  December  afternoon,  lay  a  slightly-built,  rather 
handsome  man  of  about  thirty,  holding  with  trem 
bling  hand  the  above  letter,  and  hurriedly  gathering 
its  contents  with  an  eager  but  unsteady  eye.  The 
Surgeon  noticing  the  growing  flush  upon  his  already 
fevered  cheek,  suggested  that  he  had  better  have  the 
letter  read  to  him.  So  intent  was  the  reader,  that  the 
suggestion  was  twice  repeated  before  heeded,  and  then 
only  drew  the  remark  "  Mary  and  the  boys."  A 
sudden  fit  of  coughing  that  appeared  to  tear  the  very 
life  strings  came  upon  him,  and  at  its  close  he  fell  back 
exhausted  upon  his  pillow. 

"What  luck,  Adjutant?"  inquired  the  Surgeon 
in  a  low  tone,  as  he  went  forward,  cautiously  treacling 
among  the  sick,  to  admit  that  officer  into  the  tent. 

The  Adjutant  with  a  shake  of  the  head  remarked 
that  the  application  had  gone  up  two  •  weeks  previ 
ously  from  Brigade  Head-quarters,  and  that  nothing 
had  been  heard  of  it  since.  "  As  usual,"  he  added, 
"  pigeon-holed  at  Division  Head-quarters." 

"  Poor  Wilson  has  been  inquiring  about  it  all  day, 
and  I  very  much  fear  that  should  it  come  now,  it  will 
be  too  late.  He  has  failed  rapidly  to-day." 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  213 

"  So  bad  as  that  ?  I  will'  send  up  to  Division  Head 
quarters  immediately." 

The  Lieutenant,  a  week  previously,  had  been  brought 
into  the  hospital  suffering  from  a  heavy  cold  and  fever 
in  connexion  with  it.  For  some  weeks  he  had  been 
in  delicate  health ;  so  much  so,  in  fact,  that  the  Sur 
geon  had  urged  him  to  apply  for  a  furlough,  and  had 
stated  in  his  certificate  to  the  same,  that  it  was  abso 
lutely  necessary  for  the  preservation  of  his  life. 
As  the  Surgeon  stated,  a  furlough,  that  might  then 
have  been  beneficial,  promised  now  to  be  of  little 
avail.  The  disease  had  assumed  the  form  .of  conges 
tion  of  the  lungs,  and  the  Lieutenant  seemed  rapidly 
sinking. 

When  the  Adjutant  left  the  hospital  tent  he  sought 
out  a  Captain,  an  intimate  acquaintance  of  the  Lieu 
tenant's,  and  charged  him  with  a  special  inquiry  at 
Head-quarters,  as  to  the  success  of  the  application  for 
a  furlough.  Thither  the  Captain  repaired,  through 
the  well  trodden  mud  and  slush  of  the  camp  ground. 
The  party  of  young  officers  within  the  tent  of  the 
Adjutant-General  appeared  to  be  in  a  high  state  of 
enjoyment,  and  that  functionary  himself  retained  just 
presence  of  mind  sufficient  to  assure  the  Captain,  after 
hearing  his  statement  and  urgent  inquiry — "that  there 

was  no  time  now  to  look — that  there  were  so  d u 

many  papers  he  could  not  keep  the  run  of  them.  These 
things  must  take  their  regular  course,  Captain, — regu 
lar  course,  you  know.  That's  the  difficult}*-  with  the 
volunteer  officers,"  continued  hex  turning  half  to  the 
crowd,  "  to.  understand  regular  military  channels, — 
channels."  As  he  continued  stammering  and  stutter 
ing,  the  crowd  inside  suspended  the  pipe  to  ejaculate 
assent,  while  the  Captain,  understanding  red-tape  to 
his  sorrow,  and  too  much  disgusted  to  make  further 


214  BED-TAPE  AND 

effort  to  understand  the  Captain,  retraced  his  steps. 
Finding  the  Adjutant  he  told  him  of  his  lack  of  suc 
cess,  and  together  they  repaired  to  the  hospital  tent  to 
break  the  unwelcome  news. 

At  the  time  of  his  entry  into  the  Hospital  the 
Lieutenant  was  impressed  with  the  belief  that  the 
illness  would  be  his  last,  and  he  daily  grew  more  soli 
citous  as  to  the  success  of  his  application  for  a  furlough. 
Another  coughing  fit  had,  during  their  absence,  inter 
vened,  and  as  the  two  cautiously  untied  the  flaps  and 
entered  the  stifling  atmosphere  of  the  crowded  tent,  the 
Surgeon  and  a  friend  or  two  were  bending  anxiously 
about  the  cot.  Their  entry  attracted  the  attention  of  the 
dying  Lieutenant ;  for  that  condition  his  faint  hurried 
breathing,  interrupted  by  occasional  gasps,  and  the 
rolling,  fast  glazing  eye,  too  plainly  denoted.  A  look 
of  anxious  inquiry, — a  faint  shake  of  the  head  from 
the  Captain — for  strong-voiced  as  he  was,  his  tongue 
refused  the  duty  of  informing  the  dying  man  of  what 
had  become  daily,  unwelcome  news. 

"Oh,  iny  God  I  must  I, — must  I  die  without  again 
seeing  Mary  and  the  babies  !  "  with  clasped  hands  he 
gasped,  hal'f  rising,  and  casting  at  the  same  time  an 
imploring  look  at  the  Surgeon. 

But  the  effort  was  too  much.  His  head  fell  back 
upon  the  blankets.  A  gurgling  sound  was  heard  in 
his  throat.  With  bowed  heads  to  catch  the  latest 
whisper,  his  friends  raised  him  up ;  and  muttering 
indistinctly  amid  his  efforts  to  hold  the  rapidly  failing 

breath,  "  Mary  and  the  babies.  The  babies, — Ma- " 

the  Lieutenant  left  the  Grand  Army  of  the  Potomac 
on  an  everlasting  furlough. 

Mary  was  busily  engaged  with  the  duties  of  her 
little  household  a  week  later,  enjoying,  as  best  she 
might,  the  lively  prattle  of  the  boj^s,  when  there  was 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  215 

the  noise  of  a  wagon  at  the  door,  and  closely  follow 
ing  it  a  knock.  "  Papa  I  papa  I  "  exclaimed  the  chil 
dren,  as  with  eager  haste  they  preceded  the  mother. 
With  scarcely  less  eagerness,  Mary  opened  the  door. 
Merciful  God  1  "  Temper  the  wind  to  the  shorn 
lambs."  Earthly  consolation  is  of  little  avail  at  a 
time  like  this.  It  was  "  Papa ;  " — but  Mary  was  a 
widow,  and  the  babies  fatherless* 

By  some  unfortunate  accident  the  telegram  had 
been  delayed,  and  the  sight  of  the  black  pine  coffin 
was  Mary's  first  intimation  of  her  loss.  Her  worst 
anticipations  thus  roughly  realized,  she  sank  at  the 
door,  a  worthy  subject  for  the  kind  offices  of  her 
neighbors. 

A  fortnight  passed,  and  the  Adjutant  was  disturbed 
in  his  slumbers,  almost  at  the  solemn  hour  of  mid 
night,  to  receive  from  an  Orderly  some  papers  from 
Division  Head-Quarters.  Among  them,  was  the  ap 
plication  of  the  Lieutenant,  returned  "  approved." 

Measured  by  poor  Mary's  loss,  how  insignificant 
the  sigh  of  the  monied  man  over  increased  taxes  I 
how  beggarly  the  boast  of  patriotic  investments ! 
how  contemptibly  cruel,  in  her  by  no  means  unusual 
case,  the  workings  of  Bed  Tape  J  *  *  *  * 

*  *  *  Occurrences  such  as  these,  may  sad 
den  for  the  moment  the  soldier,  but  they  produce  no 
lasting  depression. 

"  Don't  you  think  I  had  oughter 
Be  a  going  down  to  "Washington 
To  fight  for  Abraham's  Daughter  ?  " 

sang  our  ex-newsboy  Birdy,  on  one  of  those  cold 
damp  evenings  in  early  December,  when  the  smoke 
of  the  fires  hung  like  a  pall  over  the  camp  ground, 
and  the  eyes  suffered  terribly  if  their  owner  made 
any  attempt  at  standing  erect. 


216  BED-TAPE    AND 

"  And  who  is  Abraham's  Daughter  ?  "  queried  one 
of  a  prostrate  group  around  a  camp  fire. 

"Columbia,  the  Gem  of  the  Ocean,"  continued 
Birdy,  to  another  popular  air,  until  he  was  joined  by 
a  manly  swell  of  voices  in  the  closing  line — 

"  Three  cheers  for  the  Red,  White,  and  Blue  I  " 

"Not  much  life  here,"  continued  Birdy,  seating 
himself.  "  I  have  just  left  the  2 — th.  There  is  a 
high  old  time  over  there.  They  have  got  the  dead 
wood  on  old  Pi  gey  nice." 

"  In  what  way  ?  "  inquired  the  crowd. 

"  You  know  that  long,  slim  fellow  of  Co.  E,  in  that 
Regiment,  who  is  always  lounging  about  the  Hospi 
tal,  and  never  on  duty." 

"  What !  The  fellow  that  has  been  going  along 
nearly  double,  with  both  hands  over  the  pit  of  his 
stomach,  for  a  week  past  ?  " 

"  The  same,"  resumed  Birdy.  "  He  has  been 
going  it  on  diarrhoea  lately  ;  before  that  he  was  run 
ning  on  rheumatism.  Well,  you  know  he  has  been 
figuring  for  a  discharge  ever  since  he  heard  the  can 
nonading  at  the  second  Bull  Eun,  but  couldn't  make 
it  before  yesterday." 

"  How  did  he  make  it  ? "  inquired  several,  ear 
nestly. 

"Fished  for  it,"  quietly  remarked  Birdy. 

"  Come,  Birdy,  this  is  too  old  a  crowd  for  any 
jpkes  of  yours.  Whose  canteen  have  you  been  suck 
ing  Commissary  out  of?  "  broke  in  one  of  his  hearers. 

"  Nary  time  ;  I'm  honest,  fellows.  He  fished  for 
it,  and  I'll  tell  you  how,"  resumed  Birdy,  adjusting 
the  rubber  blanket  upon  which  he  had  seated  him 
self. 

"  You  see  old  Pigey  was  riding  along  the  path 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  217 

that  winds  around  the  hill  to  Corps  Head-Quarters, 
when  he  spied  this  fellow,  Long  Tom,  as  they  call 
him,  sitting  on  a  stump,  and  alongside  of  the  big 
sink,  that  some  of  our  mess  helped  to  dig  when  on 
police  duty  last.  Tom  held  in  both  hands  a  long 
pole,  over  the  sink,  with  a  twine  string  hanging  from, 
it — for  all  the  world  as  if  he  was  fishing.  On  came  old 
Pigey  ;  but  Tom  never  budged. 

"  *  What  are  you  doing  there,  sir  ?  '  said  the  General. 

"  *  Fishing,'  said  Tom,  without  turning  his  head. 

"  '  Fishing  !  h 1  and  d n !     Must  be  crazy  ; 

no  fish  there.5 

"  *  I've  caught  them  in  smaller  streams  than  this/ 
drawled  out  Tom,  turning  at  the  same  time  his  eyes  upon 
the  General,  with  a  vacant  stare.  *  But  then  I  had  bet 
ter  bait.  The  ground  about  here  is  too  mean  for  good 
red  worms.  Just  look,'  and  Tom  lifted  up  an  old  sar 
dine  box,  half  full  of  grubs,  for  the  General  to  look  at. 

"  *  Crazy,  by  G — d,  sir,'  said  the  General,  turning 
to  his  Aid,  *  Demented  !  Demented  !  Might  be  a  dan 
gerous  man  in  camp  ;  must  be  attended  to,'  continued 
the  General ;  striking,  as  he  spoke,  vigorous  blows 
across  his  saddle-bow,  with  his  gauntlet ;  Tom  all  the 
while  waiting  for  a  bite,  with  the  patience  of  an  old 
fisherman. 

"  It  was  after  three  in  the  afternoon,  and  the  Gene 
ral  took  the  bait. 

"  *  Must  be  attended  to.  Dangerous  man  !  danger 
ous  man  ! '  said  he,  adjusting  his  spectacles. 

"  '  Your  name  and  Regiment,  sir  ? ' 

"  Tom  drawled  them  out,  and  the  General  directed 
his  Aid  to  take  them  down. 

"  '  Go  to  your  Quarters,  sir,'  said  the  General. 

"  *  Havn't  caught  anything  yet,  and  hard  tack  is 
played  out,'  replied  Tom. 

10 


218  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  At  this  the  General  put  spurs  to  his  horse,  and 
left.  Half  an  hour  afterward,  a  Corporal's  Guard  came 
after  Tom.  They  took  him  up  to  the  marquee  of  the 
Surgeon  of  the  Division.  Tom  played  it  just  as  well 
there,  and  yesterday  his  discharge  came  down,  all 
O.K.,  and  they've  got  the  Commissary  on  the  strength 
of  it,  and  are  having  a  high  old  time  generally." 

u  Bully  boy  with  a  glass  e}7e !  How  are  you,  dis 
charge  !"  and  like  slang  exclamations  broke  rapidly 
and  rapturously  from  the  crowd. 

"  But,"  said  one  of  the  more  thoughtful  of  the  crowd, 
as  the  condition  of  a  brother  then  lying  hopelessly 
ill,  with  no  prospect  of  a  discharge, — although  it  had 
been  promised  repeatedly  for  months  past, — pressed  it 
self  upon  his  attention,  "  how  shameful  that  this  able- 
bodied  coward  and  idler  should  get  off  in  this  way, 
when  so  many  better  men  are  dying  by  inches  in  the 
hospitals.  A  General  who  understood  his  command 
and  had  more  knowledge  of  human  nature,  could  not 
be  deceived  in  that  way." 

"  Tom  had  lounged  about  Division-  Head-Quarters 
so  much,  that  he  knew  old  Pigey  thoroughly,  and 
just  when  to  take  him,"  said  a  comrade. 

u  All  the  greater  shame  that  our  Generals  can  be 
taken  off  their  guard  at  any  time,"  retorted  the 
other. 

"  Oh,  well,"  continued  he,  "  about  what  might  be 
expected  of  one  educated  exclusively  as  a  Topogra 
phical  Engineer,  and  having  no  acquaintance  with 
active  field  service,  and  with  no  talent  for  com 
mand  ;  for  it  is  a  talent  that  West  Point  may  educate*, 
but  cannot  create." 

"And  what  is  a  Tippo,  Typo,  or  Toppographical 
Engineer,  Sergeant?  "  broke  in  the  little  Irish  Corpo 
ral,  who  chanced  to  be  one  of  the  group,  rather  seri- 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  219 

ously.  "  Isn't  it  something  like  a  land  surveyor ;  and 
be  Jabers,  wasn't  the  great  Washington  himself  a 
land  surveyor?  Eh?  Maybe  that's  the  rayson 
these  Tippos,  Typos,  or  Toppographical  Engineers 
ride  such  high  horses." 

"  Not  badly  thought  of,  Corporal,"  replied  the 
Sergeant,  amid  laughter  at  Terence's  discovery,  and 
his  attempt  at  pronunciation  ;  "  but  Washington  was 
a  man  of  earnestness  and  ability,  and  not  a  guzzler 
of  whiskey,  and  a  mouther  of  indecent  profanity. 
There  are  good  officers  in  that  Corps.  There  is 
Meade,  the  fighter  of  the  noble  Pennsylvania  Re 
serves;  Warren,  a  gentleman  as  well  as  a  soldier. 
Others  might  be  named.  Meritorious  men,  but  kept 
in  the  background  while  the  place-men,  cumberers 
of  the  service,  refused  by  Jeff.  Davis  when  making 
his  selections  from  among  our  regular  officers,  as  too 
cheap  an  article,  are  kept  in  position  at  such  enor 
mous  sacrifices  of  men,  money,  and  time.  I  have 
heard  it  said,  upon  good  authority,  that  there  is  a  nest 
of  these  old  place-men  in  Washington,  who  keep  their 
heads  above  water  in  the  service,  through  the  studied 
intimacy  of  their  families  with  families  of  Members 
of  the  Cabinet — a  toadyism  that  often  elevates  them 
to  the  depression  of  more  meritorious  men,  and  always 
at  the  expense  of  the  country, — but — 

"  Dark  shall  be  light." 

Keep  up  your  spirits,  boys." 

"  Keep  up  your  spirits,"  echoed  Birdy ;  "  that  is 
what  they  are  doing  all  the  time  at  Division  Head- 
Quarters, — by  pouring  spirits  down,  Jim,"  continued 
he,  turning  suddenly  to  a  comrade,  who  lounged  lazily 
alongside  of  him,  holding,  at  the  same  time,  at  the 
end  of  a  stick,  a  tin  cup  with  a  wire  handle,  over 


220  KED-TAPE   AND 

the  fire.  "  tell    the  crowd   about   that   whisky  bar 
rel." 

Some  of  the  crowd  had  heard  the  story,  from  the 
manner  in  which  they  welcomed  the  suggestion,  and 
insisted  upon  its  reproduction. 

"  Can't,  till  I  cook  my  coffee,"  retorted  Jim,  point 
ing  to  the  black,  greasy  liquid  in  the  cup,  simmering 
slowly  over  the  half-smothered  fire.  Jim's  cup  had 
evidently  been  upon  duty  but  a  short  time  previously 
ris  a  soup-kettle.  "  But  it  is  about  done,"  said  he, 
lifting  it  carefully  off,  u  and  I  might  as  well  tell  it 
while  it  cools." 

"-  About  one  week  ago  I  happened  to  be  detailed 
as  a  Head-Quarter  guard,  and  about  four  o'clock  in 
the  afternoon  was  pacing  up  and  down  the  beat  in 
front  of  the  General's  Head-Quarters.  It  was  a  plea 
sant  sun-shiny  spring  day, — when  gadflies  like  to 
try  their  wings,  and  the  ground  seems  to  smoke  in  all 
directions, — and  the  General  sat  back  composedly  in 
the  corner  of  his  tent  on  a  camp  stool,  with  his  elbow 
on  his  knee  and  his  head  hanging  rather  heavily 
upon  his  hand.  The  flaps  were  tied  aside  to  the  fly- 
ropes.  I  had  a  fair  view  of  him  as  I  walked  up  and 
down,  and  I  came  to  the  conclusion  from  his  looks 
Vthat  Pigey  had  either  a  good  load  on,  or  was  in  a 
"brown  study.  While  I  was  thinking  about  it  up 
comes  a  fellow  of  the  2 — th,  that  I  used  to  meet  often 
while  we  were  upon  picket.  He  is  usually  trim,  tidy- 
looking,  and  is  an  intelligent  fellow,  but  on  that  day 
everything  about  him  appeared  out  of  gear.  His  old 
grey" slouch  hat  had  only  half  a  rim,  and  that  hung 
over  his  eyes — hair  uncombed,  face  unwashed,  hands 
looking  as  if  he  had  been  scratching  gravel  with  them, 
his  blouse  dirty  and  stuffed  out  above  the  belt,  mak 
ing  him  as  full-breasted  as  a  Hottentot  woman  pan- 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  221 

taloons  greasy,  torn,  and  unevenly  suspended  ;  and 
to  foot  up  his  appearance  shoes  innocent  of  blacking, 
and  out  at  the  toes.  When  I  saw  him,  I  laughed  oat- 
right.  He  winked,  and  asked  in  an  undertone  if  the 
General  was  in,  stating  at  the  same  time  that  he  was 
there  in  obedience  to  an  order  detailing  one  man 
for  special  duty  at  the  General's  Head  Quarters, 
'and  you  know,'  said  he,  'that  the  order  always  is 
for  intelligent  soldierly-looking  men.  Well,  all 
our  men  that  have  been  sent  up  of  that  stripe 
have  been  detained  as  orderlies,  to  keep  his  darkies 
in  wood  and  water,  and  hold  his  horses,  and  we 
are  getting  tired  of  it.  /  don't  intend  running  any 
risk.' 

"  '  Don't  think  you  Will,'  said  I,  laughing  at  his 
make-up. 

"  Just  then  I  noticed  a  movement  of  the  General's 
head,  and  resumed  the  step.  A  moment  after,  the 
General's  eye  caught  sight  of  the  Detail.  He  eyed 
him  a  moment  in  a  doubtful  way,  and  then  rubbing 
his  eyes,  as  if  to  confirm  the  sight,  and  straightening 
up,  shouted — 

"  '  Sergeant  of  the  guard  !    Sergeant  of  the  guard  I' 

"  The  sergeant  was  forthcoming  at  something  more 
than  a  double-quick ;  and  with  a  salute,  and  • '  Here, 
sir,'  stood  before  the  General. 

"  Old  Pigey's  right  hand  extended  slowly,  pointing 
towards  the  Detail,  who  stood  with  his  piece  at  a 
rest,  wondering  what  was  to  come  next. 

"  '  Take  away  that  musket,  sergeant !  and  that  G — • 
d looking  thing  alongside  of  it.  What  is  it,  any 
how  ?'  said  the  General,  with  a  significant  emphasis 
on  the  word  '  thing.' 

"  And  off  the  sergeant  went,  followed  by  the  man, 
who  gave  a  sly  look  as  he  left." 


222  RED-TAPE    AND 

"  Pretty  well  played,"  said  one  of  the  crowd ;  "  but 
what  has  that  to  do  with  a  whisky  barrel  ?" 

"  Hold  on,  and  you  will  see ;  I  am  not  through  yet. 

"  About  half  an  hour  afterward  another  man  from 
the  same  regiment  presented  himself,  and  asked  per 
mission  to  cross  my  beat,  saying  that  he  had  been  de 
tailed  on  special  duty,  and  was  to  report  to  the  Gene 
ral  in  person.  This  one  looked  trim  enough  to  pass 
muster.  He  presented  himself  at  the  door  of  the 
tent  and  saluted ;  but  the  General  had  taken  two  or 
three  plugs  in  the  interim,  and  was  slightly  oblivious. 
Anxious  to  see  some  sport,  I  suggested  that  he  should 
call  the.  General. 

"  *  General,'  said  he,  lowly,  then  louder,  all  the 
while  saluting,  until  the  General  awoke  with  a  start. 

"  *  Who  the  h— 11  are  you,  sir?' 

"  '  I  was  ordered  to  report  to  you  in  person,  sir,  for 
special  duty.' 

"* Special  duty,  sir!  Has  it  come  to  this?  Must 
I  assign  the  duty  to  be  performed  by  each  individual 
man,  sir,  in  the  Division,  sir !' 

"The  disheveled  hair,  flashing  eyes,  and  fierce  look 
of  the  General,  startled  this  new  Detail,  and  he  com 
menced  explaining.  The  General  broke  in  abruptly, 
however,  as  if  suddenly  recollecting ;  and  rubbing  his 
hands,  while  his  countenance  assumed  a  bland  smile  : 

"  '  Oh,  yes ;  you  are  right,  sir,  right ;  special  duty, 
sir :  yes,  sir ;  follow  me,  sir.' 

"  And  the  General  arose  and  with  somewhat  uncer 
tain  strides  left  his  marquee,  and,  followed  by  the 
man,  entered  a  Sibley  partly  in  its  rear. 

a  <  There,  sir,'  said  the  General,  pointing,  with  rather 
a  pleased  countenance;  '  do  you  see  that  barrel,  sir?' 

u  '  Yes,  sir,'  replied  the  Detail,  saluting. 

That  barrel  holds  whisky,  sir — whisky;' — rising 


U  ( 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  223 

upon  his  toes  and  emphasizing  the  word ;  { and  I 

want  you  to  guard  it  G —  d d  well.  Don't  let  a 

d n  man  have  a  drop,  sir.  Do  you  understand, 

sir?' 

"  *  Yes,  sir,'  rejoined  the  Detail,  saluting,  and  com 
mencing  his  beat  around  the  barrel. 

"  The  General  was  about  leaving  the  Sibley,  when 
he  turned  suddenly ; 

"  '  Do  you  drink,  sir  ?' 

"  '  Once  and  a  while,  sir,7  replied  the  Detail,  salut 
ing. 

44  *  Have  3rou  had  any  lately  ?' 

"'No,  sir.' 

"  '  By  G — d,  sir,  I'll  give  you  some,  sir ;'  and  he 
strides  into  his  marquee  and  returns  with  a  tin  cup 
full  of  liquor,  which  he  placed  upon  the  barrel,  and 
told  the  man  to  help  himself.  After  the  General  had 
gone,  the  Detail  did  help  himself,.until  his  musket  lay 
on  one  side  of  the  Sibley  and  himself  on  the  other." 

"  The  General  knows  how  to  sympathize  with  a 
big  dry,"  said  one,  as  the  crowd  laughed  over  the 
story. 

Pen  cannot  do  justice  to  the  stories  abounding  in 
wit  and  humor  wherewith  soldiers  relieve  the  tedium 
of  the  camp.  To  an  old  campaigner,  their  appear 
ance  in  print  must  seem  like  a  faded  photograph,  in 
the  sight  of  one  who  has  seen  the  living  original. 
Characters  sparkling  with  humor,  such  as  was  never 
attributed  to  any  storied  Joe  Miller,  abound  in  every 
camp.  The  brave  Wolfe,  previously  to  the  victory 
which  cost  him  his  life,  is  reported  to  have  sung, 
while  floating  down  the  St.  Lawrence : 

"  Why,  soldiers,  why, 
Should  we  be  melancholy, 
Whose  business  'tis  to  die  ?" 


224 


EED-TAPE   AND 


Whether  induced  in  his  case  by  an  effort  to  bolster 
up  the  courage  of  his  comrades  or  not,  the  sentiment 
has  at  all  times  been  largely  practised  upon  in  the 
army  of  the  Potomac. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  225 


CHAPTER   XVI. 

The  Battle  of  Fredericksburg — Screiving  Courage  up  to  the  Stick 
ing  Point — Consolations  of  a  Flask — Pigeon-Hole  Nervousness 
— Abandonment  of  Knapsaclcs — Incidents  before,  during,  and 
after  the  Fight. 

IN"  this  wintry  weather,  striking  tents  meant  strip 
ping  the  log  huts  of  the  bits  of  canvas  that 
ordinarily  served  as  the  shelter-tents  of  the  soldiers. 
The  long  rows  of  huts  thus  dismantled, — soldiers  at 
rest  in  ranks,  with  full  knapsacks  and  haversacks, — 
groups  of  horses  saddled  and  bridled,  ready  for  the 
ride", — on  one  of  these  clear,  cold  December  mornings, 
indicated  that  the  arrny  was  again  upon  the  move. 
Civilians  had  been  sent  back  freighted  with  letters 
from  those  soon  to  see  the  serious  struggle  of  the 
field  ;  the  sick  had  been  gathered  to  hospitals  nearer 
home;  the  musicians  had  reported  to  the  surgeons, 
and  the  men  were  left,  to  the  sharp  notes  of  sixty 
rounds  of  ball  cartridge  carried  in  their  boxes  and 
knapsacks, — in  the  plight  of  the  Massachusetts  regi 
ment  that  marched  through  the  mobs  of  Baltimore, 
to  the  music  of  the  cartridge-box,  in  the  first  April 
of  the  Rebellion. 

The  time  intervening  between  the  removal  of 
McClellan  and  the  battle  of  Fredericksburg,  was  a 
period  of  uneasy  suspense  to  the  nation  at  large  and 

10* 


226  RED-TAPE   AND 

its  representatives  in  the  field.  Dear  as  the  devoted 
patriotism,  the  earnest  conduct  of  the  Rhode  Island 
Colonel — the  hero  of  the  Carolinas  and  now  the 
leader  of  the  Grand  Army  of  the  Potomac — were  to 
the  patriotic  masses  of  the  nation,  the  fact  of  his  being 
an  untried  man,  gave  room  for  gloom  and  foreboding. 
With  the  army  at  large,  the  suspense  was  accompanied 
by  no  lack  ^f  confidence.  The  devotion  of  the  Ninth 
Army  Corps  for  its  old  commander  appeared  to  have 
spread  throughout  the  army  ;  and  his  open,  manly 
countenance,  bald  head,  and  unmistakable  whiskers, 
were  always  greeted  with  rounds  for  "Burny."  The 
jealousy  of  a  few  ambitious  wearers  of  stars  may 
have  been  ill  concealed  upon  that  morning,  only  to 
be  disclosed  shortly  to  his  detriment ;  but  the  earnest 
citizen-soldiery  were  eager,  under  his  guidance,  to  do 
battle  for  their  country.  Time  has  shown,  how  much 
of  the  misfortune  of  the  subsequent  week  was  attri 
butable  to  imperfect  weeding  of  McClellanism  at 
Warrenton. 

Like  a  lion  at  bay,  restless  in  easy  view  of  the 
hosts  of  the  Rebellious,  the  army  had  remained  in  its 
camp  upon  the  heights  of  Stafford  until  the  arrival 
of  the  pontoons.  For  miles  along  the  Rappahannock, 
the  picket  of  blue  had  his  counterpart  in  the  picket 
of  grey  upon  the  opposite  shore.  Unremitting  labor 
upon  fortifications  and  earthworks,  had  greatly  in 
creased  the  natural  strength  of  the  amphitheatre  of 
hills  in  the  rear  of  Fredericksburg.  Countless  sur 
mises  spread  in  the  ranks  as  to  the  character  and 
direction  of  the  attack ;  though  the  whims  of  those 
who  uttered  them  were  variant  as  the  reflections 
of  a  kaleidoscope.  But  the  sun,  that  through  the 
pines  that  morning,  shone  upon  burnished  barrels, 
polished  breast-plates,  and  countenances  of  brave  men, 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  227 

radiant,  as  if  reflecting  their  holy  purpose,  has  never, 
since  the  shining  hosts  of  Heaven  were  marshalled  for 
the  suppression  of  the  great  prototype  of  this  Rebel- 
lion,  seen  more  earnest  ranks,  or  a  holier  cause. 

The  bugles  call  "  Attention/'  then  "  Forward." 
Horses  are  rapidly  mounted  ;  and  speedily  coming  to 
the  shoulder,  and  facing  to  the  right,  the  army  is  in 
motion  by  the  flank  towards  the  river.  Far  as  the 
eye  could  see,  in  all  directions,  there  were  moving 
masses  of  troops.  Cowardly  beneath  contempt  is  the 
craven,  who  in  such  a  cause,  and  at  such  a  time,  would 
not  feel  inspirited  by  the  firm  tread  of  the  martial 
columns. 

"  Hear  'em!  Oh,  Hear  'em  !  "  exclaimed  an  earnest- 
looking  country  boy,  hastily  closing  a  daguerreotype 
case,  into  which  he  had  been  intently  gazing,  and 
replacing  it  in  his  pocket,  as  the  booming  of  a  heavy 
siege  gun  upon  the  Washington  Farm,  followed  in 
stantly  by  the  reports  of  several  batteries  to  the  right, 
broke  upon  the  ear  like  volleyed  thunder.  A  clap  of 
thunder  from  a  clear  sky  could  not  have  startled  him 
more,  had  he  been  at  work  upon  his  father's  farm. 
His  earnest  simplicity  afforded  great  amusement  to 
his  comrades,  and  for  a  while  made  him  the  butt  of  a 
New  York  Regiment  that  then  chanced  to  be  march 
ing  abreast.  Eaw  recruit  as  he  was,  cowardice  was 
no  part  of  his  nature,  and  he  indignantly  repelled 
the  taunts  of  his  comrades.  Gloom  deep  settled  was 
visible  upon  his  countenance,  however,  although  firm 
his  step  and  compressed  his  lip. 

"  Terence,"  said  he,  to  the  little  Irish  Corporal 
who  marched  by  his  side,  as  another  suggestive  artil 
lery  fire  that  appeared  to  move  along  the  entire 
front,  made  itself  heard,  "  may  I  ask  a  favor  of 
you  ?" 


228  BED-TAPE   AND 

"  Indade  ye  may,  John,  and  a  thousand  ov  them  if 
ye  plaze,  to  the  last  dhrop  in  my  canteen." 

One  of  those  jams  so  constant  and  annoying  in  the 
movements  of  large  masses  of  men,  here  gave  the  op 
portunity  for  John  to  unbosom  himself,  which  he  did, 
while  both  leaned  upon  the  muzzles  of  their  pieces. 

"  Terence,  I  do  not  believe  that  I  will  be  alongside 
of  you  many  days,"  said  John,  with  an  effort. 

"  Why,  what's  the  matter  wid  ye,  boy  ?  if  I  didn't 
know  ye  iver  since  you  thrashed  that  bully  in  the 
Zouaves,  I  wud  think  ye  cowardly." 

"  It  is  not  fear,  Corporal,"  continued  John,  more 
determinedly.  "  I'm  looking  the  danger  squarely  in 
the  face,  and  am  ready  to  meet  it,  and  I  want  to  be 
prepared  for  it." 

"  Be  jabers,  John,"  retorted  Terence,  "  ye  should 
have  prepared  for  it  before  you  left  home.  I  saw 
Father  Mahan  just  before  I  left,  and  he  tould  me  to 
do  my  duty  like  a  thrue  Irishman ;  and  that  if  I  was 
kilt  in  such  a  cause  I  wud  go  straight  through,  and 
be  hardly  asked  to  stay  over  night  in  Purgatory. 
There's  my  poor  brother,  peace  to  his  soul ; — and  did 
ye  hear " 

{;  But,  Terence,"  interrupted  John,  "  I  am  not  afraid 
of  death  ;  and  for  the  judgment  after  death  I  have 
made  all  the  preparation  I  could  in  rny  poor  way,  and 

I  can  trust  that  to  my  Maker ;  but "- and  here 

John  clapped  his  hand  over  his  left  breast. 

"  Oh,  I  see,"  said  Terence.  "  It's  a  case  of  disease 
of  the  heart." 

"  I  want  you,  in  case  I  fall,  to  take  the  daguerreo 
type  that  you  will  find  in  the  inside  pocket  on  the 
left  side  of  my  blouse,  and  a  sealed  letter,  and  see 
that  both  are  sent  to  the  address  upon  the  letter," 
continued  John. 


PIGEOX-IIOLE    GENERALS.  229 

"  Faith,  will  I,  John.  But  who  tould  you  that  you 
wud  be  kilt,  and  meself  that's  alone  and  friendless 
escape  ?  Well,  I'll  take  them,  John,  if  I  have  to  go 
meself;  and  it's  Terence  McCarty  that  will  not  see 
her  suffer ;  and  maybe — but  it's  hard  seeing  how  a 
girl  could  take  a  fancy  to  a  short  curly-headed  Irish 
man,  like  meself,  after  having  loved  a  sthrapping, 
straight-haired  man  like  you." 

How  John  relished  the  winding-up  of  the  corpo 
ral's  offer  could  not  well  be  seen,  as  an  order  to 
resume  the  step  interrupted  the  conversation. 

Progress  was  slow,  necessarily,  from  the  caution 
required  in  the  approach  to  the  river.  Over  the 
rolling  ground,  to  an  artillery  accompaniment  un 
equalled  in  grandeur,  the  troops  trudged  slowly 
along.  Here  and  there  was  a  countenance  of  serious 
determination,  but  the  great  mass  were  gay  and  reck 
less,  as  soldiers  proverbially  are,  of  the  risks  the 
future  might  hold  in  reserve. 

After  a  succession  of  short  marches  and  halts,  the 
forward  movement  appeared  to  cease  about  four 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  and  the  men  quietly  rested 
on  their  arms,  as  well  as  the  damp,  and  in  many 
places  muddy  ground  would  allow.  Towards  evening 
countless  fires,  fed  by  the  dry  bushes  found  in  abun 
dance  upon  the  old  fields  of  Virginia,  showed  that 
amidst  war's  alarms  the  men  were  not  unmindful  of 
coffee. 

Throughout  the  day,  with 'but  brief  cessation,  artil 
lery  firing  had  continued.  The  booming  of  the  siege 
guns,  mingled  with  the  sharp  rattle  of  the  light,  and 
the  louder  roar  of  the  heavy  batteries,  all  causing 
countless  echoes  among  the  neighboring  hills,  com 
pleted  the"  carnival  of  sound. 

Night  crept  gradually   on,  the  fires  were  extin- 


230  BED-TAPE   AND 

guished,  the  cannonading  slackened  gradually,  then 
ceased,  and  the  vast  army,  save  those  whom  duty  kept 
awake,  silently  slept  under  frosted  blankets. 

Cannonading  was  resumed  at  early  dawn  of  the 
next  day,  and  the  slow  progress  of  the  troops  towards 
the  river  continued.  Before  night  our  advance  had 
crossed  upon  the  pontoon  bridges,  notwithstanding  a 
galling  fire  of  the  Kebel  sharpshooters  under  cover 
of  the  buildings  along  the  river,  and  was  firmly  esta 
blished  in  the  town.  Late  in  the  day  our  Division 
turned  into  a  grove  of  young  pines,  a  short  distance 
in  the  rear  of  the  Phillips  Plouse.  Upon  beds  of 
the  dead  foliage,  soft  as  carpets  of  velvet,  after  the 
fatigues  of  the  day,  slumber  was  sound. 

The  reveille  sounded  at  early  morn  of  the  next 
day,— Saturday,  the  memorable  thirteenth  of  Decem 
ber, — by  over  three  hundred  pieces  of  artillery,  again 
aroused  the  sleeping  camps  to  arms,  and  in  the  grey 
fog,  the  groves  and  valleys  for  some  miles  along  the 
river  appeared  alive  with  moving  masses.  As  soon 
as  the  fog  lifted  sufficiently,  a  large  balloon  between 
us  and  the  river  arose,  upon  a  tour  of  observation. 
It  was  a  fine  mark  for  a  rifled  battery  of  the  Rebels, 
and  some  shells  passed  close  to  it,  and  exploded  in 
dangerous  proximity  to  our  camp. 

Under  an  incessant  artillerjr  fire  the  main  movement 
of  the  troops  across  the  river  commenced.  Leaving 
our  camp  and  passing  to  the  right  of  the  Phillips 
mansion,  we  found  our  Division,  one  of  a  number  of 
columns  moving  in  almost  parallel  lines  to  the  river. 
On  the  western  slope  of  the  hill  or  ridge  upon  which 
the  house  stood,  we  came  to  another  halt,  until  our 
turn  to  cross  should  come. 

Whatever  modern  armies  may  have  lost  in  dazzling 
appearance,  when  contrasted  with  the  armies  of  old 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  231 

that  moved  in  glittering  armor  and  under  "  banner, 
shield,  and  spear,"  they  certainly  have  lost  nothing  in 
the  enginery  of  death,  and  in  the  sights  and  sounds 
of  the  fight*  itself.  A  twelve-pound  battery  under 
stern  old  Cato's  control,  would  have  sent  Caesar  and 
his  legions  howling  from  the  gates  of  Rome,  and 
have  saved  the  dignity  of  her  Senate.  The  shock 
of  battle  was  then  a  medley  of  human  voices, 
confused  with  the  rattle  of  the  spear  upon  the  shield  ; 
now  a  hell  of  thunder  volumed  from  successive  batter 
ies, — and  relieved  by  screaming  and  bursting  shell  and 
rattling  musketry.  The  proper  use  of  a  single  shell 
\vould  have  cleared  the  plains  of  Marathon.  More 
appropriately  can  we  come  down  to  later  times,  when 

"  The  old  Continentals, 
In  their  ragged  regimentals, 
Faltered  not," 

for  the  ground  upon  which  our  army  stood  had  re 
peatedly  been  used  as  a  rallying  point  for  troops,  and 
a  depot  for  military  stores  in  Continental  and  Revo 
lutionary  times.  How  great  the  contrast  between  the 
armies  now  upon  either  side  of  the  Rappahannock, 
arid  the  numbers,  arms,  and  equipage  then  raised  with 
difficulty  from  the  country  at  large.  Our  forefathers 
in  some  measure  foresaw  our  greatness  ;  but  they  did 
not  foresee  the  magnitude  of  the  sin  of  slavery,  tole 
rated  by  them  against  their  better  judgment,  and 
now  crowding  these  banks  with  immense  and  hostile 
armies.  Since  that  day  the  country  has  grown,  and 
with  it  as  part  of  its  growth,  the  iniquity,  but  the 
purposes  of  the  God  of  battles  prevail  nevertheless. 
The  explosion  that  rends  the  rock  and  releases  the 
toad  confined  and  dormant  for  centuries,  may  not 
have  been  intended  for  that  end  by  the  unwitting 


232  EED-TAPE    AND 

miner,  nor  the  civil  convulsion  that  shatters  a  mighty 
nation  to  relieve  an  oppressed  people  -  and  bestow 
upon  it  the  blessings  of  civilization,  may  not  have 
been  started  with  that  view  by  foul  conspirators. 

But  while  we  are  digressing,  a  cavalcade  of  mounted 
men  have  left  the  area  in  front  of  the  PhillipvS 
mansion,  and  are  approaching  us  upon  the  road  at  a 
full  gallop.  The  boys  recognize  the  foremost  figure, 
clad  in  a  black  pilot  frock,  his  head  covered  with 
a  regulation  felt,  the  brim  of  which  is  over  his  eyes 
and  the  top  rounded  to  its  utmost  capacity,  and  cheer 
upon  cheer  for  "  Burney"  run  along  the  column. 
With  a  firm  seat,  as  his  horse  clears  the  railroad 
track  and  dashes  through  the  small  stream  near  by, 
he  directs  his  course  to  the  Lacy  House  on  the  bank 
of  the  river. 

It  was  near  noon  when  we  passed  over  the  same 
ground,  and  taking  a  road  to  the  right  of  the  once 
tasteful  grounds  of  that  mansion,  debouched  by  a 
narrow  pass  cut  through  the  bank  to  the  water's 
edge.  As  we  did  so,  some  shells  thrown  at  the 
mounted  officers  of  the  Regiment  passed  close  to 
their  heads  and  exploded  with  a  dull  sound  in  the 
soft  ground  of  the  bank.  With  a  steady  tramp  the 
troops  crossed,  scarcely  the  slightest  motion  being 
perceptible  upon  the  firm  double  pontoon  bridge. 
Another  column  was  moving  across  upon  the  bridge 
below.  Gaining  the  opposite  bank,  the  column  filed 
to  the  left,  in  what  appeared  to  be  a  principal  street 
of  the  town.  Here  knapsacks  were  unslung  and  piled 
in  tjie  store  rooms  upon  either  side. 

The  few  citizens  who  remained  had  sought  pro 
tection  from  the  shells  in  the  cellars,  and  not  an 
inhabitant  of  the  place  was  to  be  seen  Notwith 
standing  the  heavy  concentrated  artillery  fire, — 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENEKALS.  233 

beyond  some  few  buildings  burned  down, — nothing 
like  the  destruction  was  visible  that  would  be  ima 
gined.  Deserted  by  its  proper  inhabitants,  the  place 
had,  however,  a  heavy  population  in  the  troops  that 
crowded  the  streets  parallel  with  the  river.  The  day 
previous  the  Rebels  had  opened  fire  upon  the  town. 
It  was  continued  at  intervals,  but  with  little  effect. 
Z-i-i-s-s !  a  round  shot  sings  above  your  head,  and  with 
a  sharp  thud  strikes  the  second  story  of  the  brick 
house  opposite,  marking  its  passage  by  a  tolerably 
neat  hole  through  the  wall.  P-i-i-n-g!  screams  a  shell, 
exploding  in  a  room  with  noise  sufficient  to  justify 
the  total  destruction  of  a  block  of  buildings.  The 
smoke  clears  away,  ceilings  may  be  torn,  floors  and 
windows  shattered,  but  the  building,  to  an  outside 
observer,  little  damaged. 

From  an  early  hour  in  the  morning  the  musketry 
had  been  incessant, — now  in  volleys,  and  now  of  the 
sharp  rattling  nature  that  denotes  severe  skirmishing. 
On  the  left,  where  more  open  ground  permitted 
extended  offensive  movements,  the  firing  was  par 
ticularly  heavy.  But  above  it  all  was  the  continuous 
roar  of  artillery,  and  the  screaming  and  explosion  of 
shells.  To  this  music  the  troops  in  light  order  and 
ready  for  the  fray,  marched  up  a  cross  street,  and  in 
the  shelter  of  the  buildings  of  another  street  on  the 
outer  edge  of  the  place  and  parallel  with  the  river, 
stood  at  arms, — passing  on  their  way  out  hundreds 
of  wounded  men  of  different  regiments,  on  stretchers 
and  on  foot,  some  with  ghastly  wounds,  and  a  few 
taking  the  advantage  of  the  slightest  scratch  to  pass 
from  front  to  rear.  Legs  and  arms  carelessly  heaped 
together  alongside  of  one  of  the  amputating  tents 
in  the  rear  of  the  Phillips  House,  and  passed  in  the 
march  of  the  day  before,  had  prepared  the  nerves 


234  RED-TAPE   AND 

of  the  men  somewhat  for  this  most  terrible  ordeal 
for  fresh  troops.  Many  of  the  wounded  men  cheered 
lustily  as  the  men  marched  by,  and  were  loudly 
cheered  in  return,  while  here  and  there  an  occa 
sional  skulker  would  tell  how  his  regiment  was  cut 
to  pieces,  and  like  Job's  servant  he  alone  left. 

From  this  point  a  fine  view  could  be  had  of  the 
encircling  hills,  with  their  crowning  earthworks, 
commanding  the  narrow  plateau  in  our  immediate 
front.  On  the  right  and  centre  the  Rebel  line  was 
not  to  be  assailed,  but  by  advancing  over  ground 
that  could  be  swept  by  hundreds  of  pieces  of  artil 
lery,  while  to  protect  an  advancing  column  our 
batteries  from  their  position  must  be  powerless  for 
good.  A  stone  wall  following  somewhat  the  shape 
of  the  ridge  ran  along  its  base.  Properly  banked  in 
its  rear,  it  afforded  an  admirable  protection  for  their 
troops.  As  there  was  no  chance  for  success  in 
storming  these  works,  the  object  in  making  the 
attempt  was  doubtless  to  divert  the  Rebel  attention 
from  their  right. 

Column  after  column  of  the  flower  of  the  army, 
had  during  the  day  charged  successively  in  mad. 
desperation  upon  that  wall;  but  not  to  reach  it. 
Living  men  could  not  stand  before  that  heavy  and 
direct  musketry,  and  the  deadly  enfilading  can 
nonade  from  batteries  upon  the  right  and  left.  The 
thickly  strewn  plain  attested  at  once  the  heroic  cou 
rage  of  the  men,  and  the  hopelessness  of  the  contest. 

44  Boys,  we're  in  for  it,"  said  a  Lieutenant  on  his 
way  from  the  right.  u  Old  Pigey  has  just  had  three 
staving  swigs  from  his  flask,  and  they  are  all  getting 
ready.  There  goes  4 Tommy  Totten,'"  as  the  bugle 
call  for  "  forward"  is  familiarly  called  in  the  army. 

Our  course  was  continued  to  the  left — -two  regi- 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  235 

ments  marching  abreast — until  we  neared  a  main 
road  leading  westward  from  the  town.  In  the  mean 
time  the  movement  had  attracted  the  Rebel  fire,  and 
at  the  last  cross  street  a  poor  fellow  of  the  2 — th 
Regiment  was  almost  cut  in  two  by  a  shell  which 
passed  through  the  ranks  of  our  Regiment  and  ex 
ploded  upon  the  other  side  of  the  street,  but  without 
doing  further  damage.  At  the  main  road  we  filed 
to  the  right,  and  amid  clashing  Staff  officers  arid 
orderlies,  wounded  men  and  fragments  of  regiments 
broken  and  disorganized,  proceeded  on  our  way  to 
the  front.  There  was  a  slight  depression  in  the 
road,  enough  to  save  the  troops,  and  shot  and  shell 
sang  harmlessly  above  our  heads.  When  the  head 
of  the  column — really  its  rear — as  we  were  left  in 
front,  was  abreast  of  a  swampy  strip  of  meadow 
land,  at  the  further  end  of  which  was  a  tannery,  our 
Brigade  filed  again  to  the  right.  The  occupation  of 
this  meadow  appeared  to  be  criminally  purposeless, 
as  our  line  of  attack  was  upon  the  left  of  the  road  ; 
while  it  was  in  full  view  and  at  the  easy  range  of  a 
few  hundred  yards  from  a  three-gun  Rebel  battery. 
The  men  were  ordered  to  lie  down,  which  they  did 
as  best  they  could  from  the  nature  of  the  ground, 
while  the  mounted  officers  of  the  Division  and  Bri 
gade  gathered  under  the  shelter  of  the  brick  tannery 
building. 

The  movement  was  scarcely  over,  before  one  head 
and  then  another  appeared  peering  through  the  em 
brasures  of  the  earthwork,  then  a  mounted  officer 
upon  a  lively  sorrel  cantered  as  if  for  observation  a 
short  distance  to  the  left  of  the  work.  Some  sharp 
shooters  in  our  front,  protected  slightly  by  the 
ground  which  rose  gently  towards  the  west,  tried  their 
breech-loaders  upon  him.  At  450  yards  there  was 


236  RED-TAPE  AND 

certainty  enough  in  the  aim  to  make  the  music  of 
their  bullets  unpleasant,  and  he  again  sought  the 
cover  of  the  work.  An  upright  puff  of  smoke, — then 
a  large  volumed  puff  horizontally, — shrill  music 
in  its  short  flight, — a  dull,  heavy  sound  as  the 
shell  explodes  in  the  soft  earth  under  our  ranks, — 
and  one  man  thrown  ten  feet  into  the  air,  fell  upon 
his  back  in  the  ranks  behind  him,  while  his  two 
comrades  on  his  left  were  killed  outright,  his  Lieu 
tenant  near  by  mortally  wounded,  a  leg  of  his  com 
rade  on  the  right  cut  in  two,  and  a  dozen  in  the 
neighborhood  bespattered  with  the  soft  ground  and 
severely  contused.  Shells  that  exploded  in  the  air 
above  us,  or  screamed  over  our  heads ;  rifle  balls 
that  whizzed  spitefully  near,  were  now  out  of  con 
sideration.  The  motions  of  loading  and  firing,  and 
as  we  were  in  the  line  of  direction,  the  shell  itself, 
could  be  seen  with  terrible  distinctness.  There  was 
the  dread  certainty  of  death  at  eveiy  discharge. 
All  eyes  were  turned  toward  the  battery,  and  at 
each  puff,  the  "  bravest  held  his  breath"  until  the 
smothered  explosion  announced  that  the  danger 
was  over.  From  our  front  ranks,  who  had  gra 
dually  crept  up  the  side  of  the  hill,  an  incessant  lire 
was  kept  up ;  but  the  pieces  could  be  wrorked  with 
but  little  exposure,  and  it  was  harmless.  Fortunately 
the  shells  buried  themselves  deeply  before  exploding, 
and* were  mainly  destructive  in  their  direct  passage. 
Again  the  horseman  cantered  gaily  to  his  former 
place  of  observation  on  the  left ;  but  our  sharp 
shooters  had  the  range,  and  his  fine  sorrel  was 
turned  to  the  work  limping  very  discreditably.  This 
trifling  injury  was  all  that  we  could  inflict  in  return 
for  the  large  loss  of  life  and  limb. 

"  Well,  Lieutenant,  poor  John  is  gone  !  "  said  the 


PIGEON-DOLE   GENERALS.  237 

little  Irish  Corporal,  coming  to  the  side  of  that  offi 
cer. 

"What,  killed?" 

"  Ivery  bit  of  it.  I  have  just  turned  him  over, 
and  shure  he  is  as  dead  as  he  was  before  he  was 
born.  That  last  shot  murthered  the  boy.  It  is 
Terence  McCarthy  that  will  do  his  duty  by  him, 
and  may  be " 

"  Corporal !  to  your  post,"  broke  in  the  Lieutenant. 
"  Old  Pigey  is  taking  another  pull  at  the  flask,  and 
we  will  move  in  a  minute." 

The  surmise  of  the  Lieutenant  was  correct. 
"Tommy  Totten"  again  called  the  men  to  ranks, 
and  right  in  front,  the  head  of  the  column  took  the 
pike  on  another  advance.  The  .Rebels  seeing  the 
movement,  handled  their  battery  with  great  rapidity 
and  dexterity,  and  shells  in  rapid  succession  were 
thrown  into  the  closed  ranks,  but  without  creating 
confusion.  Among  others,  a  Major  of  the  last 
Regiment  upon  the  road,  an  old  Mexican  campaigner, 
and  a  most  valuable  officer,  fell  mortally  wounded 
just  as  he  was  about  leaving  the  field,  and  met  the 
i'ate,  that  by  one  of  those  singular  premonitions  before 
noticed  in  this  chapter, — so  indicative  by  their  fre 
quency  of  a  connexion  in  life  between  man's  mortal 
and  immortal  part, — he  had  already  anticipated. 

It  was  now  about  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon. 
The  day  was  somewhat  misty,  and  at  this  time  the 
field  of  battle  was  fast  becoming  shrouded  by  the 
commingled  mist  and  smoke. 

On  the  left  of  the  road  the  Brigade  formed  double 
line  of  battle  along  the  base  and  side  of  a  rather  steep 
elope  which  led  to  the  plateau  above.  The  ground 
was  muddy  and  well  trodden,  and  littered  with  dead 
bodies  in  spots  that  marked  the  localities  of  exploded 


238  BED-TAPE  AND 

shells.  Hungry  and  fatigued  with  the  toil  of  the 
day,  yet  expectant  of  a  conflict  which  must  prove 
the  death  scene  of  many,  the  men  sank  upon  their 
arms.  From  this  same  spot,  successive  lines  of  battle 
had  charged  during  the  day.  Brave  souls !  With 
rushing  memories  of  home  and  kindred  and  friends, 
they  shrank  not  because  the  path  of  duty  was  one 
of  danger. 

"We  were  there  as  a  forlorn  hope  for  the  final  effort 
of  the  field.  "With  great  exertion  and  consummate 
skill  upon  the  part  of  its  Commander,  a  battery  had 
been  placed  in  position  on  the  summit  of  the  slope. 
Officers  and  men  worked  nobly,  handling  the  pieces 
with  coolness  and  rapidity.  "What  they  accora- 

Elished,  could  not  be  seen.  "What  they  suffered,  was 
•ightfully  apparent.  Man  after  man  was  shot 
away,  until  in  some  instances  they  were  too  weak- 
handed  to  keep  the  pieces  from  following  their  own 
recoil  down  the  slope,  confusing  our  ranks  and 
bruising  the  men.  Volunteers  sprang  forward  to 
assist  in  working  the  guns.  The  gallant  Commander, 
almost  unaided,  kept  order  in  what  would  otherwise 
have  been  a  mingled  herd  of  confused  men  and 
frightened  horses.  JS"o  force  could  withstand  the 
hurricane  of  hurtling  shot  and  shell  that  swept  the 
summit. 

"  Lieutenant,  take  command  of  that  gun,"  was 
the  short,  sharp,  nervous  utterance  of  a  General  of 
Division,  as  in  one  of  his  tours  of  random  riding  he 
suddenly  stopped   his  horse  in  front   of  a  boy  of 
nineteen,  a  Lieutenant  of  infantry,  who  previously 
to  bringing  his  squad   of  men   into   service,  a  few 
brief  months  before,  had  never  seen  a  full  battery. 
"  Sir !  "  he  replied,  in  unfeigned  astonishment. 
"  By  G d  !  sir,  I  command  you  as  the  Com 


PIGEOX-IIOLE   GENEKALS.  239 

manding  General  of  this  Division,  sir,  to  take  com 
mand  of  that  piece  of  artillery." 

"  General,  I  am  entirely  unacquainted  with " 

"  Take  command  of  that  piece,  sir.  You  should 
be  ready  to  enter  any  arm  of  the  service,"  replied 
the  General,  flourishing  his  sword  in  a  threatening 
manner. 

"  General,  I  will  do  my  duty ;  but  I  can't  sight  a 
cannon,  sir.  I  will  hand  cartridge,  turn  the  screw, 
steady  the  wheel,  or  I'll  ram — --" 

"  Ram — ram  !" — echoed  the  General  with  an  oath, 
and  off  he  started  on  another  of  his  mad  rides. 

"  Fall  in,"  was  passed  rapidly  along  the  line,  and 
a  moment  after  our  Brigadier,  cool  as  if  exercising 
his  command  in  the  evolutions  of  a  peaceful  field, 
rode  along  the  ranks. 

"  Boys,  you  are  ordered  to  take  that  stone  wall, 
and  must  do  it  with  the  bayonet." 

Words  full  of  deadly  import  to  men  who  for  long 
hours  had  been  in  full  view  of  the  impregnable 
works,  and  the  field  of  blood  in  their  front.  Omi 
nous  as  was  the  command,  it  was  greeted  with 
cheers  ;  and  with  bayonets  at  a  charge,  up  that  diffi 
cult  slope, — preserving  their  line  as  best  they  could 
while  breaking  to  pass  the  guns,  wounded  and  strug 
gling  horses,  and  bodies  thickly  strewn  over  that 
most  perilous  of  positions  for  artillery, — the  troops 
passed  at  a  rapid  step.  The  ground  upon  the  summit 
had  been  laid  out  in  small  lots,  as  is  customary  in 
the  suburbs  of  towns.  Many  of  the  partition  fences 
were  still  remaining,  with  here  and  there  gaps,  or 
with  upper  rails  lowered  for  the  passage  of  troops. 
For  a  moment,  while  crossing  these  fallow  fields, 
there  was  a  lull  in  the  direct  musketry.  The  enfi 
lading  fire  from  batteries  right  and  left  still  con- 


240  BED-TAPE   AND 

tinned  ;  the  fierce  fitful  flashes  of  the  bursting  shells 
becoming  more  visible  with  the  approach  of  night. 
Onward  we  went,  picking  our  way  among  the  fallen 
dead  and  wounded  of  Brigades  who  had  preceded 
us  in  the  fight,  with  feet  fettered  with  mud,  strug 
gling  to  keep  place  in  the  line.  Several  regiments 
lying  upon  their  arms  were  passed  over  in  the 
charge. 

"  Captain,"  said  a  mounted  officer  when  we  had 
just  crossed  a  fence  bounding  what  appeared  to  be 
an  avenue  of  the  town,  "  close  up  on  the  right." 
The  Captain  partly  turned,  to  repeat  the  command 
to  his  men,  when  the  bullets  from  a  sudden  flash  of 
waving  fire  that  for  the  instant  lit  up  the  summit  of 
the  stone  wall  for  its  entire  length,  prostrated  him 
with  a  mortal  wound,  and  dismounted  his  superior. 
Pity  that  his  eye  should  close  in  what  seemed  to  be 
the  darkest  hour  of  the  cause  dearest  to  his  soul ! 

Volley  after  volley  of  sheeted  lead  was  poured 
into  our  ranks.  We  were  in  the  proper  position 
on  the  plain,  and  a  day's  full  practice  gave  them  ex 
act  range  and  terrible  execution.  In  the  increased 
darkness,  the  flashes  of  musketry  alone  were  visible 
ahead,  while  to  the  right  and  left  the  gloom  was  lit 
up  by  the  lurid  flashing  of  their  batteries.  This  very 
darkness,  in  concealing  the  danger,  and  the  loss, 
doubtless  did  its  share  in  permitting  the  men  to 
cross  the  lines  of  dead  that  marked  the  halting- 
place  of  previous  troops.  Still  onward  they  ad 
vanced, — the  thunder  of  artillery  above  them, — the 
groans  of  the  wounded  rising  from  below  ; — frightful 
gaps  are  made  in  their  ranks  by  exploding  shells, 
and  many  a  brave  boy  staggers  and  falls  to  rise  no 
more,  in  that  storm  of  spitefully  whizzing  lead. 

Eegularity  in  ranks  was  simply  impossible.    Many 


PIGEOX-HOLE   GENERALS.  241 

officers  and  men  gathered  about  a  brick  house  on 
the  right — a  narrow  lawn  leading  directly  to  the 
fatal  wall  was  crowded ;  indeed,  caps  bearing  the 
regimental  numbers  were  found,  as  has  since  been 
ascertained,  close  by  the  wall,  and  a  Lieutenant  who 
was  stunned  in  the  fight  and  fell  almost  at  its  base, 
was  taken  prisoner.  Nearly  every  officer  who  had 
entered  the  fight  mounted,  was  at  this,  time  upon 
foot.  In  the  tempest  of  bullets  that  everywhere 
prevailed  the  destruction  of  the  force  was  but  a 
question  of  brief  time,  and  to  prevent  further 
heroic  but  vain  sacrifices  the  order  to  retire  was 
given.  With  the  Brigade,  the  Regiment  fell  back, 
leaving  one-third  of  its  number  in  dead  and 
wounded  to  hallow  the  remembrance  of  that  fatal 
field. 

"  This  way,  Pap  !  This  is  the  way  to  get  out  safe," 
shouted  a  Captain  as  he  rose,  from  the  rear  of  a  pile  of 
rubbish,  amid  the  laughter  of  the  men  now  on  their 
backward  move.  The  burly  form  of  the  exhorting 
Colonel  was  seen  to  follow  the  no  less  burly  form  of 
the  Captain,  and  father  and  son  were  spared  for 
other  fields. 

An  effort  was  made  to  reform  after  the  firing  had 
slackened,  but  the  increased  darkness  prevented  the 
marshalling  of  the  thinned  ranks.  Out  of  range  of 
the  still  not  infrequent  bullets  and  occasional  shell, 
and  drowsy  from  fatigue,  the  men  again  lay  upon 
their  arms  at  the  foot  of  the  slope  ;  and  the  battle  of 
Fredericksburg  was  over. 

What  happened  upon  the  left,  where  the  main 
battle  should  have  been  fought,  and  why  Franklin 
was  upon  the  left  at  all,  are  problems  that  perhaps 
the  reader  can  pass  upon  to  better  advantage  than 
the  writer  of  these  pages.  His  "  corner  of  the 

11 


242  BED-TAPE   AND 

fight"  has  been  described,  truthfully  at  least,  what 
ever  the  other  failings  may  be. 

We  had  left  the  field ;  but  the  Kebels  had  not  as 
yet  gained  it.  Pickets  were  thrown  out  to  within 
eighty  yards  of  their  line,  and  details  scattered  over 
the  field  to  bear  off  the  wounded.  E"o  lights  were 
allowed^  arid  the  least  noise  was  sure  to  bring  a  shell 
or  a  shower  of  bullets.  In  consequence,  their  re 
moval  was  attended  with  difficulty.  The  evil  of 
the  practice  too  prevalent  among  company  com 
manders,  of  sending  skulkers  and  worthless  men  in 
obedience  to  a  detail  for  the  ambulance  corps,  was 
now  horribly  apparent.  Lajge  numbers  of  the  dead, 
and  even  the  dying,  were  found  with  their  pockets 
turned  inside  out,  rifled  of  their  contents  by  these 
harpies  in  uniform. 

But  little  rest  was  to  be  had  that  night.  At 
8  P.  M.  the  troops  were  marched  back  into  the  town, 
only  to  be  brought  out  again  at  midnight  and  re 
formed  in  line  of  battle  about  a  hundred  yards  dis 
tant  from  the  wall.  The  moon  had  now  risen,  and 
in  its  misty  light  the  upturned  faces  of  the  dead  lost 
nothing  of  ghastliness.  Horrible,  too,  beyond  de 
scription — ringing  in  the  ears  of  listeners  for  a  life 
time — were  the  shrieks  and  groans  of  the  wounded, 
— principally  Rebel, — from  a  strip  of  neutral  ground 
lying  between  the  pickets  of  the  two  armies.  What 
ever  the  object  of  reforming  line  of  battle  may 
have  been,  it  appears  to  have  been  abandoned,  as 
after  a  short  stay  we  were  returned  to  the  town  and 
aligned  quarters  in  the  street  in  front  of  the  Plan 
ters'  House. 

Fredericksburg  was  a  town  of  hospitals.  All  the 
churches  and  public  buildings,  very  many  private  re 
sidences,  and  evea  the  pavements  in  their  respective 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  243 

fronts,  were  crowded  with  wounded.  In  one  of  the 
principal  churches  on  a  lower  street,  throned  in  a 
pulpit  which  served  as  a  dispensary,  and  surrounded 
by  surgical  implements  and  appliances,  flourished 
our  little  Dutch  Doctor,  never  more  completely  in 
his  element.  Very  nice  operations,  as  he  termed 
them,  were  abundant. 

"'How  long  can  I  live  ? "  inquired  a  fine-looking, 
florid-faced  young  man  of  two-and-twenty,  with  a 
shattered  thigh,  who  had  just  been  brought  in  and 
had  learned  from  the  Doctor  that  amputation  could 
not  save  his  life. 

"  Shust  fifteen  minutes,"  was  the  reply,  as  the 
Doctor  opened  and  closed  his  watch  in  a  cold,  busi 
ness  way. 

"  Can  I  see  a  Chaplain  ? " 

"  Shaplain  !  Shaplain  !  eh  ?  Shust  one  tried  to 
cross,  and  he  fell  tead  on  bridge.  Not  any  follow 
him,  I  shure  you.  Too  goot  a  chance  to  die,  for 
Shaplains.  What  for  you  want  him?  Bray,  eh  ?  " 

The  dying  man,  folding  his  hands  upon  his  breast, 
nodded  assent. 

"  Ver  well,  I  bray,"  and  at  the  side  of  the  stretcher 
the  Doctor  kneeled,  and  with  fervid  utterance,  and 
in  the  solemn  gutturals  of  the  German,  repeated  the 
Lord's  prayer.  When  he  arose  to  resume  his  labor, 
the  soldier  was  beyond  the  reach  of  earthly  suppli 
cation  ;  but  a  smile  was  upon  his  countenance. 

The  Sabbath,  with  the  main  body  of  our  troops, 
was  a  day  of  rest.  fChance  shots  from  Rebel  sharp 
shooters,  who  had  crept  to  within  long  range  of  the 
cross  streets,  were  from  time  to  time  heard,  and 
shell  occasionally  screamed  over  the  town.  To  ears 
accustomed  to  the  uproar  of  the  preceding  days, 
however,  they  were  not  in  the  least  annoying.  Over 


244  BED-TAPE   AND 

one-half  of  the  army  were  comfortably  housed, 
bringing  into  requisition  for  their  convenience  the 
belongings  and  surroundings  of  the  abandoned 
dwellings.  Notwithstanding  our  slow  approach, 
the  evidences  of  hasty  exit  on  the  part  of  the  in 
habitants  were  abundant  on  all  sides.  Warehouses 
filled  with  flour  and  tobacco  were  duly  appreciated 
by  the  men,  while  parlors  floored  in  Brussels,  and 
elegantly  ornamented,  were  in  many  instances  wan 
tonly  destroyed. 

"  Torn,"  said  a  non-commissioned  officer,  address 
ing  a  private  whom  we  have  before  met  in  these 
pages,  u  where  did  you  get  that  box  ? " 

"  Get  it  ?  Why  I  confiscated  it.  Just  look  at 
the  beauties,"  and  opening  a  fine  mahogany  case, 
Tom  disclosed  a  pair  of  highly  finished  duelling 
pistols. 

"  What  right  have  you  to  confiscate  it  ?  "  retorted 
the  Sergeant. 

'•  It  is  contraband  of  war,  and  Rebel  property. 
Record  evidence  of  that.  Just  look  at  this  letter 
found  with  it,"  and  Tom  pulled  out  of  an  inside 
pocket  of  his  blouse  a  letter  written  in  a  most  misera 
ble  scrawl,  assuring  some  "  Dear  Capting"  of 

"Here's  my  heart  and  here's  my  hand, 
for  the  man  who  fit  for  Dixy  land." 

Monday  passed  in  much  the  same  manner,  About 
9  P.  M.  of  "that  day  the  Regiment,  with  others,  was 
employed  in  throwing  up  breastworks,  and  digging 
rifle-pits  on  the  west  of  the  town.  Expecting  to 
hold  it  on  the  morrow  against  what  they  knew 
would  be  a  terrible  artillery  fire,  the  men  worked 
faithfully,  and  by  midnight,  works  strong  as  the 
ground  would  admit  of,  were  prepared.  It  was  a 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  245 

perilous  work ;  performed  in  the  very  face  of  the 
enemy's  pickets; — but  w.as  only  an  extensive  ruse,  as 
at  1  A.  M.  we  were  quietly  withdrawn  and  assigned 
a  position  in  the 'left  of  the  town.  The  sidewalks 
were  muddy,  and  disengaging  shutters  from  the 
windows,  loose  boards  from  fences, — anything  to 
keep  them  above  the  mud, — the  men  composed 
themselves  for  slumber.  Before  2  o'clock  an  excited 
Staff  officer  had  the  Brigade  again  in  line,  and  after 
moving  and  halting  until  4  A.  M.,  we  crossed  the 
lower  bridge  in  much  lighter  order  than  when  we 
entered  the  place  ;  for  notwithstanding  urgent  solici 
tations  of  officers,  from  Brigadier  down,  permission 
was  refused  the  men  to  obtain  their  knapsacks. 
Besides  the  loss  of  several  thousand  dollars  to  the 
Government  in  blankets  and  overcoats,  hundreds  of 
valuable  knapsacks,  and  even  money  in  considerable 
sums,  were  lost  to  the  men.  The  matter  is  all  the 
more  disgraceful  when  we  consider  the  abundance 
of  time,  and  the  fact,  that  details  had  been  sent  by 
the  Colonels  to  arrange  the  knapsacks  upon  the  side 
walk,  in  order  that  they  could  be  taken  up  while 
the  command  would  pass.  It  was  marched  by 
another  route,  however,  and  in  the  cold,  pelting 
rain,  the  men,  while  marching  up  the  opposite  slopes 
of  the  Rappahannock,  had  ample  reason  to  reflect 
upon  the  cold  forethought  that  could  crowd  a  Head 
quarters'  train,  and  deprive  them  of  their  proper 
allowance  of  clothing.  Six  hours  later,  our  Division 
had  the  credit  of  furnishing  about  the  only  booty 
left  by  the  army  that  the  Rebels  found  upon  their 
reoccupation  of  the  town. 

Sadly  and  quietly,  the  troops  retrod  the  familiar 
mud  of  their  old  camp  grounds.  The  movement 
had  been  a  failure — a  costly  one  in  private  and  na- 


246  BED-TAPE 

tional  sacrifices, — and  no  one  felt  it  more  keenly  than 
the  broad-shouldered,  independent,  and  much  in 
jured  Burnside.  Strange  that  this  costly  sacrifice 
should  have  been  offered  up  on  ground  hallowed  in 
our  early  struggle  for  freedom — that  the  bodies  of 
our  brave  volunteers,  stripped  by  traitor  hands, 
should  lie  naked  on  the  plain  that  bears  a  monument 
to  that  woman  of  many  virtues,  "  Mary,  the 
mother  of  Washington" — that  ground  familiar  to 
the  early  boyhood  of  the  Great  Patriot,  should  have 
been  the  scene  of  one  of  the  noblest,  although  un 
successful,  contests  of  the  war.  Fit  altar  for  such  a 
sacrifice  !  A  shrine  for  all  time  of  devout  patriots, 
who  will  here  renew  their  vows, — of  fidelity  to  this 
God-given  Government, — of  eternal  enmity  to  trai 
tors, — and  thus  consecrate  to  posterity  the  heavy 
population  we  have  left  in  the  valley. 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  247 


CHAPTER    XVII. 

The  Sorrows  of  the  Sutler— The  Sutler's  Tent— Generals  manu 
factured  by  the  Dailies — Fighting  and  Writing — A  Glandered 
Horse — Courts-martial — Mania  of  a  Pigeon-hole  General 
on  the  Subject — Colonel  and  Lieutenant- Colonel  in  Strait- 
Jackets. 

IF  the  reader  can  imagine  the  contents  of  his 
nearest  corner  grocery  thrown  confusedly  to 
gether  under  a  canvas  covering,  he  will  have  a 
tolerably  correct  idea  of  the  interior  of  a  Sutler's 
tent.  Probably,  to  make  the  likeness  more  truth 
ful,  sardines,  red  herring,  and  cheese,  should  be 
more  largely  represented  than  is  customary  in  a 
corner  grocery. 

Our  Sutler,  although  upon  his  first  campaign, 
was  no  novice  in  the  craft.  He  could  be  hail-fellow- 
well-met  with  the  roughest  of  crowds  thronging  the 
outside  of  his  rude  counter,  and  at  the  same  time 
keep  an  eye  upon  the  cash  drawer.  And  he  was 
behind  no  one  in  "  casting  his  bread  upon  the  wa 
ters,"  in  the  shape  of  trifling  presents  and  hospitable 
welcomes,  in  order  that  it  might  return  at  the  next 
pay-day.  .Notwithstanding  all  his  tact,  however, 
Tom  Green  was  in  many  respects  an  awkward,  hap- 
nazard  fellow,  continually  in  difficulty,  although 
as  continually  fortunate  in  overcoming  it.  His 


248  BED-TAPE    AND 

troubles  were  known  to  the  Regiment,  as  the  Sut 
ler's  interests  were  individualized  to  a  great  extent, 
and  while  all  might  be  amused,  he  was  never  be 
yond  the  pale  of  sympathy.  During  the  long  winter 
evenings,  the*barrels  and  boxes  in  his  tent  seated  a 
jovial  crowd  of  officers,  who  in  games  and  with 
thrice-told  stories,  >would  while  away  what  would 
otherwise  be  tedious  hours.  Not  unfrequently  was 
the  Chaplain,  who  quartered  close  by,  disturbed 
with  a  "  sound  of  revelry  by  night,"  to  have  his 
good-humor  restored  in  the  morning  by  a  can  of 
pickled  lobster  or  brandied  cherries. 

On  one  of  the  merriest  of  the  merry  nights  of 
the  holidays,  our  Western  Virginia  Captain  was  the 
centre  of  a  group  of  officers  engaged  in  gazing  in 
tently  upon  a  double  page  wood-cut,  in  one  of  the 
prominent  illustrated  weeklies,  that  at  one  time  might 
have  represented  the  storming  of  Fort  Donelson,  but 
then  did  duty  by  way  of  illustrating  a  ''Gallant 
Charge  at  Fredericksburg." 

"There  it  is  again,"  said  the  Captain.  "  Not  one 
half  of  our  Generals  are  made  by  honest  efforts. 
Their  fighting  is  nothing  like  the  writing  that  is 
done  for  them.  They  don't  rely  so  much  upon  their 
own  genius  as  upon  that  of  the  reporter  who  rides 
with  their  Stairs.  By  George,  if  old  Rosey  in 
"Western  Virginia " 

"  Dry  up  on  that,  Captain,"  interrupted  a  brother 
officer.  "  Old  Pigey  is  the  hero  of  the  day.  He 
understands  himself.  Didn't  you  notice  how  concert- 
edly  all  the  dailies  after  the  fight  talked  about  the 
cool,  courageous  man  of  science  ;  and  just  look  at 
this  how  it  backs  it  all  up.  Old  Rosey,  as  you  call 
him,  never  had  half  as  many  horses  shot  under  him 
at  one  time.  Just  see  them  kicking  and  floundering 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  249 

about  him,  and  the  General  away  ahead  on  foot,  be 
tween  our  fire  and  the  Rebels,  as  cool  as  when  he 
took  the  long  pull  at  his  flask  in  the  hollow." 

"  And  half  the  men  will  testify  that  that  was  the 
only  cool  moment  he  saw  during  the  whole  light." 

"  No  matter,"  continued  the  other,  "  he  has  the 
inside  track  of  the  reporters,  and  he  is  all  right  with 
all  who  '  smell  the  battle  from  afar.' ': 

"  Well,  there's  no  denying  old  Pigey  was  brave, 
but  he  was  as  crazy  as  a  boy  with  a  bee  in  his 
breeches,"  said  the  Captain,  holding  up  the  carica 
ture  to  the  admiration  of  the  crowded  tent.  "  Our 
Division  gets  the  credit  of  it  at  any  rate.  Bully  for 
our  Division  !  " 

"  Not  one  word,"  breaks  in  the  Poetical  Lieu 
tenant,  "  of  Butterfield,  with  his  cool,  Napoleonic 
look,  as  he  rode  along  our  line  preparatory  to  the 
charge;  or  of  Fighting  Old  Joe,  unwilling  to  give 
up  the  field  ;  or  of  our  difficulty  in  clambering  up 
the  slope,  getting  by  the  artillery,  which  made 
ranks  confused,  and  so  forth,  but 

'  On  we  move,  though  to  self-slaughter, 
Regular  as  rolling  water.' 

Never  tnind  criticizing,  boys.  It  will  sound  well 
at  home.  We  did  our  duty,  at  any  rate,  if  we  did 
not  do  it  exactly  as  represented  in  the  picture.  The 
reporter  was  not  there  to  see  for  himself,  and  he 
must  take  somebody's  word,  and  it  is  a  feather  in 
our  cap  that  he  has  taken  Pigey's." 

The  conversation  was  at  this  stage  interrupted  by 
the  sudden  entry  of  the  Adjutant,  with  a  loud  call 
for  the  Sutler.  That  individual,  notwithstanding 
the  unusual  excitement  of  the  night,  had  been  sin 
gularly  quiet.  Rising  from  his  buffalo  in  the  cor- 


250  RED-TAPE   AND 

ner,  he  approached  the  Adjutant  with  a  countenance 
so  full  of  apprehension  and  alarm  as  to  elicit  the 
inquiry  from  the  crowd  of  "  What's  the  matter  with 
the  Sutler?" 

"  He  hasn't  felt  well  since  I  told  him  a  few  hours 
ago,"  said  a  Lieutenant,  a  lawyer  by  profession, 
"  that  Sutlers  were  liable  to  be  court-martialed." 

"  And  he'll  feel  worse,"  adds  the  Adjutant,  "  when 
he  hears  this  letter  read." 

Amid  urgent  calls  for  the  letter,  the  Adjutant 
mounted  a  box,  and  by  the  light  of  a  dip  held  by 
the  Captain,  proceeded  to  read  a  letter  signed  by 
the  Commanding  General  of  the  Division,  and  con 
siderably  blurred,  which  ran  somewhat  in  this  wise  : 

"  COLONEL  : — 

"  Is  your  Sutler  sagacious  ? 

"  Has  he  ordinary  honesty  ? 

"Has .he  the  foresight  common  among  business 
men  ?  Is  he  likely  to  be  imposed  upon  I  • 

The  letter  was  greeted  with  roars  of  laughter  that 
were  not  diminished  by  the  dismay  of  the  Sutler. 
The  Adjutant  was  forthwith  requested  by  one  of  the 
crowd  to  suggest  to  the  Colonel  to  reply — 

"  That  our  Sutler  was  a  sagacious  animal.  That  he 
had  the  honesty  ordinary  among  Sutlers.  That  if  the 
General  was  disposed  to  deal  with  him,  he  would  find 
out  that  he  had  the  foresight  common  among  busi 
ness  men,  especially  in  the  way  of  calculating  his 
profits ;  and  that  as  far  as  making  change  was  con 
cerned,  he  was  not  at  all  likely  to  be  imposed  upon." 

Loud  calls  were  now  made  upon  the  Sutler  for  an 
explanation,  and  with  look  and  tones  that  indicated 
that  with  him  at  least  it  was  no  laughing  matter,  he 
commenced— 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  251 

"  On  the  forenoon  of  the  day  that  we  crossed  into 
Fredericksburg " 

"  We  crossed !"  roared  the  Captain.  "  Well,  that's 
cool  for  a  man  who  suddenly  recollected  when  that 
Quarter-Master  was  killed  by  a  shell  near  the  Lacy 
House,  just  before  our  brigade  crossed,  that  he  had 
business  in  Washington." 

"Well,  then,  that  you  crossed,"  continued  the 
Sutler,  correcting  himself  hastily,  to  allow  the  crowd 
to  make  as  little  capital  as  possible  out  of  his  blun 
der,  u  the  General  sent  for  me,  and  said  that  he  had 
been  informed  that  I  thought  of  going  to  Washing 
ton,  and  wanted  to  know  whether  I  would  take  a 
horse  with  me  ; — pointing  to  one  that  was  blanketed, 
and  that  one  of  his  orderlies  was  leading.  I  looked 
upon  it  as  an  order  to  take  the  horse,  and  thought 
that  I  might  as  well  put  a  good  face  on  the  matter. 
So  I  told  him  that  I  would  take  it  with  pleasure. 
Well,  I  mounted  the  horse,  thinking  that  I  might  as 
well  ride,  and  took  the  road  for  Aquia.  But  I^tbund 
out  after  half  an  hour's  travel,  that  the  horse  was 
very  weak, — in  fact  hardly  able  to  bear  me,  and  so 
I  took  the  halter  strap  in  hand  and  trudged  along 
by  his  side.  Presently  I  noticed  a  very  bad  srnell. 
Carrion  is  so  common  here  along  the  road  that  I 
didn't  pay  much  attention  to  it  at  first,  but  the 
smell  continued,  and  got  worse,  and  I  thought  it 
strange  that  the  carrion  should  keep  with  me.  By 
and  by  I  noticed  his  nostrils,  and  then  found  out  to 
my  rage  that  I,  a  Regimental  Sutler,  accustomed  to 
drive  good  nags,  was  leading  a  glandered  horse  in  a 
country  where  horse  flesh  was  cheap  as  dirt.  Well, 
at  Aquia  we  had  a  great  time  getting  the  horse  on 
the  boat, — indeed,  he  fell  off  the  gangway,  and  we 
had  to  fish  him  out  of  the  water.  The  passengers 


252  BED-TAPE  AND 

crowded  me,  with  the  horse,  into  a  little  corner  in 
the  stern  of  the  boat,  and  looked  at  me  as  if  I  de 
served  lynching  for  bringing  him  on  board.  But 
that  was  nothing  to  the  trouble  I  had  with  him  in 
Washington.  After  the  boat  landed,  I  led  that 
horse  around  from  one  stable  to  another  in  Wash 
ington  for  four  mortal  hours,  but  couldn't  get  him 
ill  anywhere ;  and  besides  they  threatened  to  prose 
cute  me  if  I  did  not  have  him  shot.  Finding  that  I 
could  do  nothing,  else,  I  gave  a  man  three  dollars  to 
have  hyii  taken  away  and  shot.  The  thing  bothered 
me  mightily.  I  did  not  want  to  write  to  old  Pigey, 
for  fear  that  he  might  take  some  course  to  prevent 
me  from  collecting  the  greenbacks  due  me  in  the 
Regiment,  and  I  did  not  like  to  tell  him  in  person. 
Well,  I  have  been  putting  it  off  and  off  for  nearly 
a  week  past  since  my  return — my  mind  made  up  to 
tell  him  all  about  it,  but  delaying  as  long  as  possi 
ble,  until  this  afternoon  he  happened  to  see  me,  and 
in  about  half  an  hour  afterward  sent  for  me.  It  was 
after  three  o'clock,  an  unsafe  time  with  the  Gene 
ral,  and  I  expected  there  would  be  the  d -1  to  pay. 

From  the  way  in  which  he  asked  me  to  be  seated, 
shook  hands  wTith  me,  and  went  on  inquiring  about 
my  stock  and  business,  and  so  forth,  I  saw  at  once 
that  he  knew  nothing  of  it.  All  the  while  I  was 
fairly  trembling  in  my  boots.  At  last  says  he  : 

" '  Well,  how  did  you  leave  the  horse  ?'  and  with 
out  waiting  for  an  answer,  went  on  to  say  that  he 
was  a  favorite  animal,  highly  recommended  by  the 
Ohio  Captain  he  had  purchased  him  from,  and  wound 
up  by  repeating  the  inquiry. 

"  There  was  no  chance  to  back  out  now,  and  gather 
ing  my  breath  for  the  effort,  said  I — 

u  '  General,  I  regret  to  say,  that  your  horse  is  dead.1 


PIGEON -HOLE    GENERALS.  253 

"*  Dead  !  did  von  say  ?'  echoed  the  General,  rising. 

"  '  Yes,  sir  ;  £  was  compelled  to  have  him  shot.' 

"  '  Shot !  did  yon  say,  sir  ?'  advancing  ;  '  shot ! 
compelled  to  have  him  shot,  sir!  By  G — d,  sir,  I 
would  like  to  know,  si]-,  who  would  compel  yon  to 
have  a  horse  of  mine  shot,  sir.1 

"  '  He  was  slandered,'  said  I  timidly. 

"  c  Sir  !  sir ! !  sir !  ! !  D — d  lie,  sir, — month  as  sweet 
as  sugar.  D — d  lie,  sir,'  retorted  the  General. 

"  The  General  was  furiously  mad,  his  eyes  flashing, 
and  all  the  while  he  took  quick  and  long  st^ps  up 
and  down  his  marquee. 

"I  atttempted  an  explanation,  but  he  would  listen 
to  none ;  and  kept  on  repeating  '  glandered !' 
i  shot !'  and  scowling  at  times  at  me  ; — saying,  too, 
i  By  G — d,  sir,  this  matter  must  be  investigated.' 

u  l  General,'  said  I,  at  length, ;  injustice  to  myself, 
I  would  like'— 

"  '  Justice  to  yourself!'  shouted  the  General,  look 
ing  at  me  as  if  he  believed  me  mean  enough  to  murder 
my  grandmother.  '  Who  the  h — 1  ever  heard  of  a 

sutler  being  entitled  to  any  justice  ?  • you. 

sir,  I'll  teach  you  justice.  Get  out  of  my  tent,  sir.' 

"  I  thought  it  best  not  to  wait  for  another  oppor 
tunity  to  get  away,  and  as  I  sloped  I  heard  the 
General  swearing  at  me  until  I  had  passed  the  Sur 
geon's  tent.  You  see  what  makes  the  matter  worse 
with  the  General  is,  that  he  has  been  told  several 
times  that  the  horse  was  unsound,  but  would  not 
admit  that  as  much  of  a  horseman  as  he  professed  to 
be,  had  been  taken  in  by  the  *  Buckeye  Officer/  ': 

The  recital  of  the  story  appeared  to  have  lightened 
the  load  upon  the  breast  of  the  sutler,  and  he  wound 
np  somewhat  humorously,  by  telling  the  crowd  that 
there  was  another  on  the  list  to  be  court-martialed, 


254  RED-TAPE   AND 

and  that  they  must  give  him  all  possible  aid  and 
comfort. 

"  Be  easy,  sutler !  there  are  too  many  ahead  of  you 
on  that  list,"  observed  an  officer.  "  Your  case  can't 
be  reached  for  some  time  yet.  It  is  admitted  on  all 
sides  that  our  material,  officers  and  men,  are  as  good 
as  any  in  the  army ;  and,  for  all  that,  although  one  of 
the  smallest  divisions,  we  have  more  courts-martial 
than  any  other  division.  Why,  just  look  at  it.  A 
day  or  two  before  the  battle  of  Fredericksburg, 
twenty-three  officers  were  released  from  arrest. 
Thirtee'n  of  them, Lieutenants  undercharges  for  lying, 
as  old  Pigey  termed  it,  when,  in  fact,  it  was  nothing 
more  than  a  simple  misunderstanding  of  one  of  his 
night  orders,  such  as  any  men  might  make.  Poor 
fellows  !  over  one-half  of  them  are  out  of  his  power 
now ;  but  I  wouldn't  wonder  if  the  General  would 
be  presumptuous  and  malignant  enough  to  respect 
fully  refer  their  cases  to  the  Chancery  of  Heaven, 
with  endorsements  to  suit  himself!" 

"Well,  that  brave  Lieutenant,"  said  the  Captain, 
"  who  asked  permission  of  the  Colonel  to  charge 
with  our  regiment  when  himself  and  squad  had 
become  separated  from  his  own,  has  been  reinstated. 
You  know  that  at  the  time  old  Pigey  gave  permis 
sion  to  the  Colonels  to  send  Volunteer  Officers  before 
the  board  for  examination,  the  Lieutenant-Colonel  of 
his  regiment,  instead  of  sending  him  a  wrjtten  order, 
as  was  customary,  sought  him  out  when  engaged  in 
conversation  with  some  non-commissioned  officers 
of  his  command,  and  in  an  insulting  manner  gave 
him  a  verbal  order  to  report.  They  had  some  hot 
talk  about  it,  and  in  the  course  of  it  the  Lieutenant 
said  that  '  he'd  be  d — d  if  he  came  into  the  army  to 
study  tactics ;  he  came  to  fight,"  and  cm  the  strength 


PIGEON-HOLE,  GENERALS.  255 

of  that,  the  General  had  him  tried  and  dismissed. 
Our  Colonel  and  Lieutenant-Colonel  sent  up  a  state 
ment  to  '  Bnrney,'  giving  a  glowing  account  of  his 
gallant  conduct  in  the  fight;  and  the  General  seeing 
how  dead  in  earnest  he  was  when  he  said  he  came 
to  fight,  restored  him  to  his  position." 

"  I  am  very  much  afraid,"  said  the  Lieutenant, 
slowly,  interrupted  by  frequent  whiffs  at  a  well- 
colored  meerschaum,  "  that  the  Colonel  and  Lieute 
nant-Colonel  will  have  difficulty  to  save  themselves." 

u  Save  themselves !"  echoed  several,  from  different 
parts  of  the  tent,  their  faces  hardly  visible  through 
the  increasing  smoke.  "  Why,  what's  in  the  wind 
now  ? " 

"  A  good  deal  more  than  a  great  many  of  you 
think,"  continued  the  Adjutant.  "  I  think  I  see  the 
dawning  of  considerable  difficulty.  The  Colonel, 
you  recollect,  was  compelled  to  correct  our  Division- 
General  in  some  of  his  commands,  to  prevent  con 
fusion  ;  and  the  General,  although  clearly  in  the 
wrong,  submitted  with  a  bad  grace  ;  and  then  at  the 
last  review  you  all  remember  how  a  whiffet  chanced 
to  yelp  at  the  heels  of  the  Staff  horses,  and  how  the 

General — it  was  after  three,  you  recollect, — d d 

the  puppy  and  its  ancestry,  particularly  its  mother, 
until  his  Staff  tittered  behind  him,  and  the  Regiments 
of  his  command,  officers  and  men,  particularly  ours, 
fairly  roared.  And  then,  too,  when  General  Burn- 
side  saluted  the  colors,  and  requested  Pi  gey  to  ride 
along,  how  he  started  off  with  his  Staff,  leaving  us 
all  at  a  '  Present  Arms  ;'  and  how  the  quick  eye  of 
Old  Joe  saw  the  blunder ;  and  how  he  called  the 
General's  attention  to  it,  without  effect,  until  '  Bur- 
ney'  sharply  yelled  out,  '  General,  you  had  better 
bring  your  men  to  a  shoulder,  sir;'  and  then,  how 


256  KED-XAPE  AND 

the  Genera],  amid  increased  tittering  and  laughter, 
rode  back,  and  with  a  face  like  scarlet  squeaked  out 
—'Division!  Shoulder  arms  !'  Now  I  have  heard  that 
the  General  blames  the  Field  Officers  of  our  Regi 
ment  with  a  good  deal  of  that  laughter  ;  and  that  and 
this  Sutler  matter  will  make  him  provide  a  pretext 
for  another  Court-martial  at  an  early  day." 

"Double,  double,  toil  and  trouble," 


said  the  poetical  Lieutenant.  "  Wh}^  the  Adjutant 
talks  as  if  he  could  see  the  witches  over  the  pot  ; 
certainly— 

'  No  lateness  of  life  gives  him  mystical  lore." 

"  No,  but— 

'  Coming  events  cast  their  shadows  before  " 

continued  the  Adjutant,  finishing  the  couplet.  "  I 
do  not  know  that  any  gift  of  prophecy  is  given  unto 
me,  but  I  will  venture  to  predict  that  the  pretext 
will  be  that  very  order,  —  outrageous  and  unreason 
able  as  it  is,-  —  that  our  Brigadier  not  only  flatly  and 
positively  refused  to  obey  before  he  left,  but  told  his 
command  that  it  was  unlawful  and  unreasonable, 
and  should  not  be  obeyed." 

u  What  !  that  dress-coat  order,"  cried  the  Western 
Virginia  Captain,  springing  to  his  feet  ;  "  compel  a 
man  who  has  two  new  blouses,  and  who  belongs  to 
a  regiment  that  came  out  with  blouses  and  never 
had  dress:coats,  to  put  a  dress-coat  in  his  knapsack 
besides,  when  his  clothing  account  is  almost  ex 
hausted,  and  the  campaign  only  half  through.  Is 
that  the  order  you  mean  ?  By  George,  you  must 
think  that  old  Pigey  is  only  going  to  live  and  do 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  257 

business  after  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  if  you 
think  that  he  will  insist  upon  that  order.  Our  Bri 
gadier  did  right  to  disobey  it.  Old  Rosey  would 
have  put  any  officer  in  irons,  who " 

"But,  Captain,"  resumed  the  Adjutant,  "  unfortu 
nately  we  are  not  in  Western  Virginia,  and  not 
under  old  Rosey,  as  you  call  him,  but  in  the  Army 
of  the  Potomac,  where  Red  Tape  clogs  progress 
more  than  Virginia  mud  ever  did,  and  where  posi 
tion  is  attained,  not  so  much  by  the  merit  of  the 
officer,  as  by  the  hold  he  may  be  able  to  get  upon 
the  favoritism  of  the  War  Department." 

"Is  it  possible,"  continued  the  Captain,  thrusting 
his  hands  into  the  lowest  depths  of  his  breeches 
pockets,  and  casting  upon  the  Adjutant  a  half  inquir 
ing,  half  reflecting  look,  "  that  this  Regiment,  which 
the  General  himself  admits  is  one  of  the  best  disci 
plined  in  his  Division,  and  which  has  been  one  of 
the  most  harmonious  and  orderly,  is  to  be  imposed 
upon  in  this  way  by  a  whimsical  superior  officer, 
who,  whatever  his  reputation  for  science  may  be, 
has  shown  himself  over  and  over  again  to  have  no 
sense  !  I  tell  you,  our  men  can't  stand  it.  Just  look 
at  my  own  Company,  for  instance,  nearly  all  mar 
ried  men,  families  dependent  upon  them  for  support, 
and  now  when  they  have  each  two  lined  blouses,  as 
good  as  new,  and  their  clothing  account  about 
square,  they  are  to  take  seven  dollars  and  a  half  of 
their  hard  earned  pay — more  than  half  a  month's 
wages— and  buy  a  coat  that  can  be  of  no  service, 
and  that  must  be  thrown  away  the  first  march.  I 
do  not  believe  that  the  Government  designs  that  our 
-Volunteer  Regiments  should  be  compelled  to  take 
both  blouses  and  dress  coats.  The  General  had  bet 
ter  enter  into  partnership  with  some  shoddy  con- 


258  BED-TAPE   AND 

tractor,  if  he  intends  giving  orders  of  this  kind.  I 
tell  you,  the  men  will  not  take  them." 

"  Come,  Captain,  no  '  murmuring  or  muttering ' 
against  the  powers  that  be,"  said  the  Adjutant. 
u  The  men  will  either  take  them,  in  case  the  order  is 
made,  or  go  to  the  Rip-raps.  I  am  inclined  to  think 
that  the  Field  Officers  will  not  see  the  men  imposed 
upon.  And  at  the  same  time  they  will  not.bear  the 
brunt  of  disobeying  the  order  themselves,  and  not 
let  the  men  run  any  risk.  It  is  hard  to  tell,"  conti 
nued  the  Adjutant,  in  a  measured  tone,  refilling  his 
pipe  as  he  spoke,  "  what  it  will  result  in  ;  but  Pigey 
is  in  power,  and  like  all  in  authority,  has  his  toadies 
about  him,  and  you  may  make  up  your  minds  that 
he  will  not  be  sparing  in  his  charges,  or  in  the  testi 
mony  to  support  them.  Our  Colonel  and  Lieut.-Col- 
onel,  I  know,  feel  outraged  at  the  bare  idea  of  being 
subjected  to  such  an  order.  They  are  both  earnest 
men,  have  both  made  heavy  sacrifices  to  enter  the 
service,  and  have  never  failed  in  duty,  although,  like 
most  volunteer  officers  of  spirit,  they  are  somewhat 
restiff  under  authority.  The  Colonel,  being  an  old 
soldier,  and  thoroughly  acquainted  with  his  work,  is 
especially  restiff  under  the  authority  of  an  officer  so 
poorly  fitted  for  his  position  as  our  Division  Gener 
al.  But  our  turn  must  come.  Every  Regiment  in 
the  Division  has  suffered  from  his  Court-tnartialling 
and  studied  interference,  and  so  far  we  have  been 
fortunate  enough  to  escape.  And  with  the  insight 
I  now  have,  I  believe  the  glandered  horse  and  the 
little  whiffet  that  yelped  and  disturbed  the  Gene 
ral's  ideas  of  a  proper  Review,  will  prove  to  be  at 
the  bottom  of  the  whole  matter. 

"  Tom."  interrupted  the  Captain,  "  you  will  have 
to  put  your  record  in  better  shape." 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  259 

"  How  can  I  do  it?  "  said  the  Sutler. 

"  Bj  sending  Pigey  a  bill  for  the  three  dollars 
yon  paid  to  have  the  horse  shot." 

The  crowd  boisterously  applauded  the  proposition, 
and  insisted  upon  its  execution.  Desultory  conver 
sation  followed  until  "  Taps"  dispersed  them  to  their 
quarters. 

Grumbling  is  claimed  as  a  soldier's  privilege,  and 
the  Sutler's  tent  being  a  lounging  place  when  off 
duty,  becomes  a  place  of  grumbling,  much  like  the 
place  of  wailing  that  the  Jews  have  on  the  outskirts 
of  Jerusalem. 

A  fortnight  later  saw  the  crowd  in  their  old  posi 
tion,  but  whh  countenances  in  which  it  was  difficult 
to  say  whether  anxiety  or  anger  predominated. 

"Fellows,  it  is  terminating  just  as  the  Adjutant 
prophesied  a  short  time  ago  in  this  very  place,"  said 
a  Captain  slightly  past  the  prime  of  life,  but  of 
vigorous  build.  "  In  trying  to  keep  the  men  out  of 
dress  coats,  the  Colonel  and  Lieutenant  Colonel 
have  got  themselves  into  all  manner  of  trouble,  and 
there  is  no  let-up  with  old  Pigey.  I  saw  them  this 
morning  both  as  cheerful  as  crickets,  and  determined 
to  have  the  matter  thoroughly  investigated." 

"  Did  they  intimate  any  opinion  as  to  what  we 
ought  to  do?"  inquired  the  Adjutant. 

"  Not  a  word.  In  that  respect  they  say  just  as 
they  did  before  they  were  placed  in  close  confine 
ment,  that  it  is  a  case  in  which  each  man  must  act 
for  himself.  They  are  willing  to  shoulder  the  re 
sponsibility  of  their  own  acts,  and  were  very  indig 
nant  when  they  heard  that  Pigey  had  ordered  the 
other  Brigade  underarms,  and  two  pieces  of  artillery 
to  be  trained  upon  our  camp,  as  if  the  whole  Regi 
ment  was  guilty  of  mutiny,  when  there  was  not  at 


260  BED-TAPE   AND 

the  same  time  a  more  quiet  or  orderly  Kegirnent  in 
camp." 

"They  understand,"  remarked  the  Adjutant, 
"however,  why  that  was  done.  The  General  must 
have  something  to  justify  this  unusually  harsh  treat 
ment.  A  charge  of  simple  disobedience  of  orders 
would  not  do  it,  so  he  charges  them  with  mutiny, 
and  trumps  up  this  apprehension  and  parade  to  ap 
pear  consistent.  The  Lieutenant-Colonel  anticipated 
it,  I  know.  I  heard  him  say,  while  under  simple 
arrest,  that  he  believed  that  after  three  o'clock  they 
would  be  placed  in  close  confinement,  and  on  the 
strength  of  it  some  letters  were  sent  by  a  civilian 
giving  full  details.  Well,  I  am  glad  that  they  are 
in  good  spirits." 

"  In  the  very  best,"  replied  the  Captain,  "although 
the  General  starts  as  if  he  intended  giving  them  a 
tough  through.  The  Sibley  that  they  were  turned 
into  late  last  night,  was  put  up  over  ground  so  wet 
that  you  couldn't  make  a  track  upon  it  without  it 
would  fill  with  water,  and  the  Lieutenant-Colonel 
had  to  sleep  upon  this  ground  with  a  single  blanket, 
as  it  wa&  late  when  his  servant  Charlie  came  to  the 
guard  with  his  roil  of  blankets,  and  the  General 
would  not  permit  him  to  pass.  In  consequence  he 
awoke  this  morning  chilled,  wet  through,  and  with  a 
fair  start  for  a  high  fever.  And  then  they  are  denied 
writing  material,  books,  even  a  copy  of  the  Regu 
lations.  The  General  relented  sufficiently,  to  tell 
an  aid  to  inform  them,  that  they  might  correspond 
with  their  families  if  they  would  submit  the  corres 
pondence  first  to  inspection  at  Division  Head-quar 
ters  ;  to  which  they  replied — that  i  the  General 
might  insult  them,  but  could  not  compel  them  to 
humiliate  their  families.'  No  one  is  permitted  to 


PIGEON-HOLE    GE3TERALS.  261 

sec  thorn  unless  by  special  permission  of  the  Gene 
ral." 

"  And  when  I  saw  those  three  guards  to-day  pa 
cing  about  that  Sibley,"  excitedly  spoke  the  Vir 
ginia  Captain,  "  I  felt  like  mounting  a  cracker-box 
in  camp  and  asking  the  men  to  follow  me,  and  tind 
out  on  what  grounds,  this  puss-in-boots  outraged  in 
this  way  men  more  well-meaning  and  determined 
than  himself  in  the  suppression  of  this  rebellion. 
But  it  will  all  come  right.  They  are  not  to  be 
crowded  clear  out  of  sight  in  a  single  day.  One  of 
my  men  told  me  that  he  was  present  on  duty  when 
that  wharf-rat  of  an  Adjutant,  that  the  exhorting 
Colonel  is  trying  to  make  an  Adjutant-General  of, 
came  into  the  General's  tent  with  the  Lieutenant- 
Colonel,  and  he  said  that  the  General  asked  the 
Colonel  whether  he  was  still  determined  to  disobey 
the  lawful  order  of  his  superior  officer,  the  Com 
manding  General  of  the  Division? 

"'The  legality  of  the  order  is  WThat  I  question,' 
said  the  Colonel.  '  An  order  to  be  lawful  should  at 
least  be  reasonable.  That  order  is  unreasonable, 
unjust  to  the  men,  and  I  cannot  conscientiously 
obey  it.' 

"  '  This  money  for  the  coats  does  not  come  out  of 
your  pocket,'  said  the  General,  blandly.  'Why 
need  you  concern  yourself  about  it  ? ' 

"  '  It  comes  out  of  the  pockets  of  my  men,  Gene 
ral,'  said  the  Colonel,  '  and  I  consider  it  my  duty  to 
concern  myself  sufficiently  to  prevent  imposition 
upon  them.' 

"  «  Tut,'  paid  the  General.  <  You  wouldn't  hear  a 
Regular  officer  say  that.' 

u  '  The  greater  shame  for  them,'  said  the  Colonel. 
1  My  men  are  my  neighbors  and  friends.  They  look 


262  BED-TAPE  AND 

to  me  to  protect  their  interests.  As  a  general  thing 
the  Regulars  are  recruited  from  the  purlieus  .of 
great  cities,  and  are  men  of  no  character.' 

"'Colonel,'  said  the  General,  sternly,  'listen  to 
this  definition  of  '  Mutiny,'  and  then,  as  you  are  a 
lawyer,  think  of  your  present  position.' 

"The  Colonel  heard  it  read  and  replied  that  '  it 
had  nothing  whatever  to  do  with  the  case,  as  there 
was  no  mutiny,  nor  even  an  approach  to  it.'  Con 
sidering  the  time  of  day-,  the  General,  so  far,  had 
been  un usually  cool,  but  he  could  keep  in  no  longer. 

" '  Colonel,'  said  he,  in  a  loud,  angry  tone,  aa  he 
advanced  towards  him, '  by  G d,  sir,  you  are  mu 
tinous,  sir  ! ' 

" ;  General,'  replied  the  Colonel,  coolly,  and  look 
ing  him  full  in  the  eye,  '  with  all  due  deference  to 
your  superior  rank,  permit  me  to  say,  that  if  you 
say  I  am  guilty  of  mutiny  you  overstep  the  bounds 
of  truth.' 

"  The  Colonel's  confident  manner  rather  staggered 
the  General,  and  he  turned  to  the  Adjutant,  who 
has  been  his  runner  throughout  this  matter,  and 
called  upon  him  to  substantiate  his  assertion ;  which 
he  did. 

"  With  the  remark  that  he  would  not  dare  to  make 
such  false  assertions  away  from  the  General's  head 
quarters,  the  Colonel  turned  upon  him  indignantly, 
and  the  General  called  for  the  Provost  Guard  to 
conduct  him  to  the  Sibley.  Now  I  tell  you,  fel 
lows,"  continued  the  Captain,  "  the  General  will 
make  nothing  out  of  this  matter." 

"  He  has  his  malice  gratified  by  the  present 
punishment  he  is  subjecting  them  to,  as  if  fearful 
that  they  might  come  unharmed  from  a  Court-inar- 
tial.  But  I  don't  believe  that  he  will  be  able  to 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  x  263 

get  the  Regiment  into  dress  coats,"  remarked  the 
Adjutant. 

the  Adjutant  was  right.  The  Regiment  did  not 
get  into  dress  coats ;  although  its  Colonel  and  Lieu 
tenant-Colonel  slipped  into  strait-jackets. 


264  RED-TAPE   AND 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

Dress  Coats  Versus  Blouses — Military  Law — BiU  the  Cook — 
Courts  Martial — Important  Decision  in  Military  Law — '  A  Man 
with  Two  Blouses  on1  can  be  compelled  to  put  a  Drfss  Coat  on  top — 
A  Colored  French  Cook  and  a  Beefy-browed  Judge-Advocate — 
The  Mild  March — Aro  Pigeon-holing  on  a  Whiskey  Scent — Old 
Joe  in  Command — Dissolution  of  Partnership  between  th'e 
Dutch  Doctor  and  Chaplain. 

^VTECESSITY  knows  no  law.  Military  law  springs 
JL  i  from  the  necessity  of  the  case,  and  may  be  said, 
therefore,  to  be  equivalent  to  no  law.  However 
plausible  the  principles  embodied  in  the  compact 
periods  of  Benet  and  De  Hart  may  appear^  in  actual 
practice  they  dwindle  to  little  else  than  the  will  of 
the  officer  who  details  the  court.  General  Officers, 
tried  at  easy  intervals,  before  pains-taking  courts,  in 
large  cities,  may  have  opportunity  for  equal  and 
exact  justice;  but  Heaven  help  their  inferiors  who 
have  their  cases  put  through  at  lightning  speed,  before 
a  court  under  marching  orders,  and  expecting  mo 
mentarily  to  move. 

The  Act  of  Congress,  with  a  wise  prescience  of  the 
jealousies  and  bickerings  always  arising  between 
Regulars  and  Volunteers,  provides  that  Regulars 
shall  be  tried  by  Regular,  and  Volunteers  by  V olun- 
teer  Officers.  In  practice,  the  spirit  of  the  law  is 


PIGECfN-IIOLE   GENERALS.  265 

evaded  by  the  subterfuge,  that  a  Regular  Officer,  tem 
porarily  in  command  of  Volunteers,  is  pro  temporea, 
Volunteer  Officer.  In  the  Mexican  War,  where  the 
number  of  Volunteer  Officers  was  comparatively 
small,  there  may  have  been  a  necessity  for  this. 
With  our  present  immense  Volunteer  force  there  can 
be  none  whatever ;  and  the  practice  is  the  more 
inexcusable,  when  we  consider  the  great  amount  of 
legal  as  well  as  military  ability  among  the  officers 
of  this  force.  The  gross  injustice  of  this  violation  of 
the  act,  must  be  apparent  to  any  one  upon  a  moment's 
reflection.  Officers,  whgse  only  offence  may  be  their 
belonging  to  the  Volunteer  Service,  are  too  frequently 
subjected  to  the  tender  mercy  of  a  Board  of  Mar 
tinets  ; — men  of  long  service  and  tried  ability, 
degraded  by  the  fiat  of  a  court  composed  of  officers 
as  tender  in  intellect  as  in  years,  and  whose  only 
recommendation  to  be  members  of  the  court,  is  their 
recent  transfer  from  lessons  in  gunnery  and  drills; — 
with  patent  leather  knapsacks,  to  field  or  higher 
positions  in  the  Volunteer  Service.  Thus,  the  officer 
whose  earnestness  in  the  cause  and  heavy  sacrifice 
of  family  ties  and  business  affairs,  first  raised  the  com 
mand, — who  grew  with  its  growth  during  months, 
perhaps  years,  of  hard  service, — saw  through  his  un 
tiring  efforts  the  awkwardness  of  his  men  change 
gradually  for  the  precision  of  the  veteran, — not  unfre- 
quently  by  the  snap  judgment  of  men  whose  only 
service  has  been  in  Pay,  Quartermaster,  Com 
missary  Departments, — anywhere  but  in  a  Fighting 
Department, — finds  himself  dishonored,  his  service 
thrown  aside  for  naught,  and  his  worst  enemy 
the  misuse  of  the  laws  he  had  taken  arms  to  vindicate. 
Not  an  officer  or  soldier  but  must  recollect  a  case 
in  point.  Now,  this  mainly  arises  from  the  undue 

12 


266  BED-TAPE   AND  * 

and  nnjnst  deference  paid  by  the  "War  Department 
to  Regular  Officers,  and  the  curse  that  attends  them 
and  upholds  them — Red  Tape.  Undue  and  unjust 
deference.  Does  not  the  history  of  the  Army  of  the 
Potomac  prove  it?  Its  heroic  fighting,  but  ill-starred 
generalship  ! 

"Halloa,  Bill!  what  news  from  the  Sibley?" 
shouted  one  of  a  group  of  officers  who  sat  and  lay 
upon  the  ground,  cheerfully  discussing  hard  tack 
and  coffee  in  the  camp  of  a  grand  picket  reserve, 
near  the  Rappahannock.  Tbe  man  addressed  would, 
in  build,  have  made  a  good  recruit  for  the  armies  of 
New  Amsterdam  in  their  warfare  against  the 
Swedes,  so  graphically  described  by  Irving.  Short 
and  thickly  set,  with  a  face  radiant  as  a  brass  kettle 
in  a  preserving  season,  trousers  thrust  in  a  pair  of 
cast-away  top  boots,  the  legs  of  which  fell  in  ungainly 
folds  about  his  ancles,  a  greasy  blouse,  tucked  in  at 
the  waist-band,  and  a  cap  ripped  behind  in  the  vain 
effort  to*accommodate  it  to  a  head  of  Websterian 
dimensions.  With  all  his  shortcomings,  and  they 
were  legion,  Bill's  education,  unfailing  humor  and 
kindness  of  heart  made  him  a  favorite  at  regimental 
Head-quarters,  where  he  had  long  been  employed  as 
an  attendant.  When  the  sickness  of  the  Lieutenant- 
Colonel  grew  serious  in  the  Sibley,  Bill  took  his  post 
by  the  side  of  his  blankets,  and  in  well-meaning  atten 
tion  made  up  what  he  lacked  in  tenderness  as  a  nurse. 

"  Nothing  new  since  the  trial,"  drawled  out  Bill, 
seating  himself  meanwhile,  and  mopping  with  his 
coat  sleeve  the  perspiration  that  stood  in  beads  upon 
his  forehead. 

"  Since  the  trial !"  echoed  the  officer.  "  Why, 
they  have  not  had  notice  yet,  and  the  General  said 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  267 

he  would  give  them  ample  opportunity  for  prepara 
tion  for  trial." 

"  So  he  did,"  continued  Bill.  "  They  were  put 
into  the  Sibley  on  Monday  night,  and  on  Thursday 
night  following,  about  half-past  ten,  when  it  was 
raining  in  torrents,  and  storming  so  that  the  guards 
and  myself  could  scarcely  keep  the  old  tent  up,  that 
sucker-mouthed  Aid  of  old  Pigey's  popped  his  head 
inside  the  flaps  and  handed  the  Colonel  and  Lieut. - 
Colonel  each  a  letter.  Both  letters  went  on  to  say, 
that  their  trial  would  take  place  the  next  day,  at 
ten  o'clock,  at  Pigey's  Head-quarters,  and  that  each 
letter  contained  a  copy  of  the  charges  and  specifica 
tions,  and  that,  in  the  meanwhile,  they  could  prepare 
for  trial,  provide  counsel,  and  so  forth.  The  best  part 
of  two  sheets  of  large-sized  letter  paper  was  filled  with 
the  charges  against  each,  all  in  Pigey's  hand-writing. 

1  Disrespectful  language  towards  the  -General 
Commanding  Division  ;' 'Conduct  tending  to  Muti 
ny  ;'  *  Disobedience  of  Orders,'  and  '  Violation  of  at 
least  half  a  dozen  different  articles  of  war.' 

The  ink  was.  green  yet,  as  if  it  had  all  been 
done  after  three  o'clock.  The  Lieutenant-Colonel, 
you  know,  told  that  wharf  rat  of  an  Adjutant 
before  the  General,  that  he  wrould  not  dare  to 
make  such  mis-statements  away  from  Division  Head 
quarters.  Well,  on  the  strength  of  that,  he  had  him 
charged  with  sending  a  challenge  to  fight  a  duel, 
and  telling  his  superior  officer  that  he  lied.  Lord  ! 
when  I  heard  them  read,  I  thought  they  ought  to  be 
thankful  that  one  of  the  darkies  about  Division  Head 
quarters  hadn't  died  in  the  meanwhile,  or  there  would 
have  been  a  charge  of  murder.  It  might  just  as 
well,  at  any  rate,  have  been  murder  as  mutiny,  that 
we  all  know.  Time  for  trial ! — lots  of  time !  Just 


268  RED-TAPE    AND 

the  time  to  hunt  a  lawyer,  consult  law  books,  and 
drum  up  testimony." 

"  Timed  purposely,  of  course,"  broke  in  the  offi 
cer,  indignantly,  "  and  the  Court,  no  doubt,  packed 
to  suit.  But,"  his  face  brightening,  "  there  is  an 
appeal  to  Father  Abraham. 

"  It  is  all  very  well  to  talk  about  Father  Abra 
ham,"  continued  Bill,  in  the  same  drawling  tone  ; 
"  but  if  you  have  to  hunt  up  Honest  Old  Abe 
through  the  regular  military  channels,  as  they  say 
you  have  to,  he  il  seem  about  as  far  off  as  the  first 
old  Father  Abraham  did  to  that  rich  old  Cockey 
that  had  a  big  dry  on  in  a  hot  place." 

"  Bill,"  said  the  officer,  as  he  saw  the  crowd  in 
clined  to  laugh  at  the  remark,  "  this  is  by  far  too 
serious  a  matter  to  jest  about.  Here  are  two  men 
of  character  and  position,  devoted  to  the  cause 
body  and  soul,  completely  at  the  mercy  of  an  officer 
whose  conduct  is  a  reproach  to  his  command,  and 
who  is  malicious  alike  in  deeds  and  words." 

"  Especially  the  latter,"  interrupted  Bill,  more 
hurriedly  than  before.  "  The  Colonel  says  he  was 
chief  witness,  and  swore  the  charges  right  straight 
through,  without  wincing.  The  Judge  Advocate, 
they  said,  was  a  right  clever  gentlemanly  fellow,  but 
ignorant  of  law,  and  completely  at  the  disposal  of  the 
General.  I  saw  him  several  times  when  I  was  pass 
ing  backwards  and  forwards,  and  he  looked  to  me  as 
if  the  beef  was  a  little  too  thick  on  the  outside  of  his 
-forehead,  for  the  brains  to  be  active  inside.  Still,  the 
Colonels  have  no  fault  to  find  with  him,  except  that 
between  times  he  would  talk  about  drinking  to  Little 
Mac,  and  brag  about  the  prospect,  as  the  papers 
seem  to  say,  of  Fitz  John  JPorter's  being  cleared. 
But  then  most  of  the  Court  did  as  much  at  that  as 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  269 

he  did.  He  did  his  duty  in  the  trial,  I  guess,  as 
well  as  his  knowledge  and  old  Pigey's  will  would 
allow." 

"  Well,  Bill,  give  us  some  particulars  of  the  trials, 
if  you  know  them,"  suggested  an  officer  of  a  neigh 
boring  regiment — the  party  during  the  conversation 
being  increased  by  additions  of  officers  and  privates. 

"  I  only  know  what  I  saw  passing  back  and  forth, 
and  what  I  heard  from  the  Colonels  themselves. 
They  wouldn't  allow  any  one  to  go  within  three 
yards  of  the  tent  in  which  they  held  Court ;  but  I'll 
give  you  what  I  have,  although  to  do  it  I  must  go 
back  a  little : — Before  it  was  light  on  the  day  of 
trial  the  Major  posted  off  to  our  Corps  Commander 
with  an  application  fora  continuance,  on  the  ground 
of  want  of  time  for  preparation.  About  daylight 
the  General  came  out,  rubbing  his  eyes,  wanting  to 
know  who  that  early  bird  was  ? 

"  '  Playing  Orderly,  sir,'  said  he,  as  his  eye  lit 
upon  the  letter  in  the  Major's  hand.  i  Fine  occupa 
tion  for  a  man  of  six  feet  two,  with  a  Major's  straps 
upon  his  shoulders.' 

"  The  MSjor  wilted  till  he  felt  about  two  feet  six, 
but  mustered  presence  of  mind  sufficient  to  tell  the 
General  his  errand,  and  how  his  personal  solicitude 
had  prompted  him  to  perform  it  himself.  The  Gen 
eral  heard  him  kindly ;  stated  that  he  had  no  doubt 
but  that  the  Court  would  act  favorably  upon  the 
application,  and  that  it  should  be  referred  to  them. 
The  Court,  when  it  met,  acted  favorably,  so  far  as  to 
give  the  Colonel,  who  was  tried  first,  fifteen  minutes 
to  hunt  a  lawyer.  But  they  wouldn't  let  the.  Lieut.- 
Colonel  act,  as  he  was  a  party,  and  several,  others 
were  excluded  on  the  ground  of  being  witnesses, 
although  they  took  good  care  not  to  call  them.  Both 


270  RED-TAPE   AND 

pleaded  guilty  to  the  '  simple  disobedience  of  orders,' 
and  the  Court  was  ashamed  to  try  them  upon  anything 
besides  but  the  i  disrespectful  conduct ; '  in  regard 
to  which  old  Pigey's  assertions  were  taken,  instead 
of  the  circumstances  being  proved.  The  Colonel 
was  too  indignant  at  the  treatment  to  set  up  any  de 
fence,  but  the  Lieutenant-Colonel  cross-examined 
old  Pigey  until  his  testimony  looked  like  a  box  of 
fish -bait.  The  General  swore  that  he  had  given  him 
'the  lie,'  but  upon  being  questioned  by  the  Colonel, 
stated  that  '  he  did  not  believe  the  Colonel  intended 
to  call  his  personal  veracity  into  question.'  In  the 
same  manner  he  had  to  explain  away  that  duelling 
charge.  At  last  he  got  so  confused  that  he  would 
ram  wood  into  the  stove  to  gain  time,  bite  the  ends 
of  his  moustache,  play  with  the  rim  of  his  hat,  and 
when  cornered  as  to  the  Lieutenant-Colonel's  cha 
racter  as  an  officer,  to  relieve  himself,  stated  ; — that 
he  must  say  that  the  Colonel  had  hitherto  obeyed 
every  order  with  cheerfulness,  promptitude,  great 
zeal  and  intelligence,  and  that  his  intercourse  with 
the  Commanding  General  had  been  marked  by  great 
courtesy  at  all  times." 

The  Colonel  also  stated  further,  that  he  had  tes 
timony  to  contradict  that  Adjutant,  or  Wharf-Rat, 
as  you  know  him  best  by.  He  had  told  me 
before  the  trial  to  tell  that  young  law  student,  Tom, 
a  private  of  Co.  C,  who  heard  the  conversation 
that  the  Adjutant  had  testified  to,  to  be  within  call 
ing  distance  during  the  trial,  with  his  belt  on,  hair 
combed,  and  looking  as  neat  as  possible.  Well,  in 
Tom  came,  his  face  and  eyes  swelled  up  from  a  bad 
cold,  a,  stocking  that  had  been  a  stranger  to  soap  and 
water  for  one  long  march  at  least,  tied  about  his 
neck  to  cure  a  sore  throat,  his  belt  on  properly,  but 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  271 

his  blouse  pockets  stuffed  out  beyond  it  with  six 
months'  correspondence,  and  his  matted  and  bleached 
head  of  hair,  through  the  vain  effort  to  comb  it,  re 
sembling  the  heads  of  Feejee  Islanders,  in  Sunday- 
school  books.  A  smile  played  around  the  lips  of  the 
gentlemanly  old  Massachusetts  Colonel,  who  pre 
sided  over  the  Court,  as  he  surveyed  him  upon 
entering,  and  a  titter  ran  around  the  Board,  especi 
ally  among  some  of  the  young  West-Pointers.  The 
Colonel's  face  colored,  and  the  Judge  Advocate's 
eyes  glowed  as  if  he  had  a  soft  block.  But  Tom 
was  a  singed  cat ;  he  always  was  a  slovenly  fellow, 
you  know,  and  he  turned  out  to  be  a  file  for  the  viper. 

"  '  Colonel,'  said  the  Judge  Advocate  haughtily, 
'  have  you  any  officers  who  are  prepared  to  vouch 
for  the  character  and  credibility  of  this  witness,  as  I 
see  he  is  but  a  private  ? ' 

"  l  Yes,  sir,  if  the  Court  please,'  retorted  the  Colo 
nel  indignantly, — then  remembering  how  this  same 
Judge  Advocate  had  upon  former  occasions  affected 
to  despise  privates,  he  added :  '  His  character  and 
credibility  are  quite  as  good  as  those  of  half  the 
shoulder-strapped  gentry  of  the  Corps.' 

'.' '  Colonel,'  said  the  President,  blandly,  l  there  is 
an  old  rule  requiring  privates  to  be  vouched  for, 
rarely  insisted  upon,  at  this  day,  however,'  casting,  as 
he  said  this,  a  half  reproachful  look  upon  the  Judge 
Advocate ;  '  but  we  desire  you  to  understand  that 
your  word  is  as  good  as  that  of  any  officer  before 
this  Court.' 

"  The  Colonel  vouched  for  him,  and  Tom  was 
examined,  and  contradicted  still  further  than  his 
own  cross-examination  had  done,  the  statement  of 
the  Adjutant,  besides  snubbing  the  Judge  Advocate 
handsomely.  A  string  of  witnesses,  from  our  Briga- 


272  EED-TAPE   AND 

dier  down  to  all  the  line  officers  of  the  command, 
•was  then  offered  to  prove  character,  but  the  Court 
very  formally  told  the  Colonel  that  a  superior  offi 
cer,  the  Commanding  General  of  the  Division,  had 
already  testified  to  this,  and  that  this  rendered  the 
testimony  of  officers  inferior  in  rank  quite  superflu 
ous.  So  you  see  from  this  and  Tom's  case,  Justice 
don't  go  it  blind  in  Courts-Martial,  but  keeps  one 
eye  open  to  see  whether  the  witness  has  shoulder- 
straps  on  or  not." 

"  But,  Bill,"  inquired  a  lawyer  in  the  crowd, 
"  did  not  the  Colonel  offer  to  prove  that  the  Regi 
ment  was  amply  supplied  with  clothing,  and  that 
the  order  was  unreasonable,  and  that  it  was  not 
therefore  a  lawful  order,  as  the  law  is  supposed  to 
be  founded  upon  reason  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  both  did ;  but  the  Lieutenant-Colonel 
was  told  by  the  President,  that  if  General  Burnside 
were  to  order  the  President  to  make  a  requisition  in 
dog-days  for  old  Spartan  metal  helmets  for  his  Regi 
ment,  he  would  make  the  requisition.' 

"  Said  the  Colonel,  c  the  President  of  the  United 
States  is  by  the  Regulations  empowered  to  prescribe 
the  uniform.' 

"  '  That,'  said  the  President,  '  General  Burnside 
must  judge  of.  I  must  execute  the  order,  however 
unreasonable  it  may  seem,  first,  and  question  it 
afterwards.' 

"  '  Suppose  the  General  would  order  you  to  black 
his  boots ;  or,'  said  the  Colonel,  thinking  that  a  little 
too  strongly  put ;  '  suppose  that  you  were  second  in 
command  of  a  battery  lying  near  a  peaceful  and 
loyal  town,  and  your  superior,  drunk  or  otherwise, 
would  order  you  to  shell  it,  would  you  obey  the 
order,  and  question  it  after  having  murdered  half 


PIGEOX-IIOLE   GENERALS.  273 

the  women  and  children  of  the  place  ? '  To  which 
questions,  however,  the  Court  gave  the  go-by, 
remarking  simply,  that  they  did  not  suppose  that  the 
Colonel  had  any  criminal  intentions  in  disobeying 
the  order.  So,  really,  it  is  narrowed  down  to  the  dis 
obedience  of,  to  say  the  least,  a  most  uncalled  for 
order." 

"  And  faithful,  well  intentioned  officers  are,  for 
what  is  at  most  but  an  honest  blunder,  treated  like 
felons,"  said  one. 

"  From  their  lively  and  confident  manner,"  said 
Bill,  "I  believe  that  they  have  assurances  from 
Washington  that  all.  will  be  right.  There  is  no  telling 
how  long  the  Lieutenant-Colonel  will  last  under  this 
confinement,  however.  He  has  failed  greatly,  and 
although  so  weak  as  to  be  unable  to  walk  alone,  the 
General  insists  upon  the  guards  being  upon  either 
side  whenever  he  has  occasion  to  leave  the  tent. 
Even  the  sinks  were  dug  at  over  one  hundred  yards 
distance  from  the  Sibley.  And  the  tent  itself  is 
located  in  such  a  manner  that  old  Pigey  can  at  all 
times  have  his  vengeance  gratified  by  a  full  view  of 
it,  the  three  guards  about  it,  and  my  assisting  the 
Lieutenant-Colonel  from  time  to  time.  But  the 
guards  esteem,  and  we  all  esteem  the  officers  inside 
the  Sibley  more  than  the  General,  who  abuses  his 
power  in  his  marquee.  Letters  and  newspapers 
come  crawling  under  the  canvas.  Roast  partridges, 
squirrels,  apples,  and  delicacies  that  officers  and 
men  deny  themselves  of,  find  their  way  inside,  and 
while  my  name  is  Bill  Gladdon  they  shan't  suffer 
through  any  lack  upon  my  part,  and  I  know  that  this 
is  the  opinion  of  all  of  us." 

"  You  all  recollect  the  Sibley,"  said  a  Lieutenant, 
"  that  stands  in  the  rear  of  old  Pigey 's  marquee,  in 


274  BED-TAPE   AND 

which  he  gave  the  collation  after  the  last  corps  re 
view,  and  welcomed  our  officers  as  he  steadied  him 
self  at  the  table,  with  '  Here  comes  my  gallant 
'210th.'  The  Court  met  in  that." 

"  Yes,"  resumed  Bill,  "  the  same.  It  stands  near 
his  cook  tent,  and  while  his  darkies  were  serving  np 
French  cookery,  the  Judge  Advocate  did  the  work 
allotted  him  in  endeavoring  to  justify  by  the  trial,  in 
some  slight  manner,  the  General's  outrageous  con 
duct.  I  heard  that  Tom  said,  that  after  the  Judge 
Advocate  had  asked  that  he  be  vouched  for,  and  the 
Colonel  became  indignant,  the  Judge  Advocate 
said  somewhat  blandly, 

" '  You  must  remember,  Colonel,  that  this  is  not 
one  of  your  ordinary  Courts  of  Justice.' 

"  '  That  it  is  not  a  Court  of  Justice,5  retorted  the 
Colonel,  '  is  very  apparent.' 

"  Both  were  put  through  in  a  hurry,  at  any  rate. 
The  different  members  of  the  Court  said  that  they 
all  had  inarching  orders,  and  they  had  no  sooner 
left  the  Sibley  than  they  were  upon  horseback  and 
on  the  gallop  towards  their  different  commands. 
Our  Doctor  had  detailed  an  ambulance  to  take  the 
Colonels  in  the  rear  of  the  Division.  Old  Pigey,  in 
his  usual  morning  survey  of  the  premises,  saw  it  in 
front  of  the  Sibley,  and  sent  an  Orderly  to  take  the 
rather  lively,  good-looking  bays  that  were  in  it  and 
exchange  them  for  the  old  rips  that  haul  the  ambu 
lance  his  cooks  ride  in.  But  we  did  not  move  then, 
although  they  say  we  will  certainly  to-morrow." 

That  inevitable  "  they  say,"  the  common  prefix  to 
rumors  in  camp  as  well  as  civil  life,  had  given  Bill 
correct  information.  For  next  morning,  in  spite  of 
the  lowering  sky,  the  camps  were  all  astir  with  busy 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  275 

life,  and  during  the  course  of  the  forenoon  column 
after  column  trudged  along  over  the  already  soft 
roads  in  a  south- westerly  direction.  The  movement 
was  the  mad  desperation  of  a  Commander  of  un 
daunted  energy.  A  vain  effort  to  appease  that  most 
capricious  of  masters,  popular  clamor.  The  rains 
descended,  and  that  grand  army  of  the  Potomac 
literally  floundered  in  the  mud. 

In  an  old  field,  thickly  grown  with  young  pines, 
very  near  the  farthest  point  reached  in  the  march, 
our  Ilegiment  rested  towards  the  close  of  the  last 
day  of  the  advance,  or  to  speak  more  truly,  attempted 
advance.  Fatigued  with  the  double  duty  of  strug 
gling  with  the  mud  and  corduroying  the  roads,  the 
repose  was  heartily  welcome. 

"  It  does  a  fellow  good  to  feel  a  little  frisky," 

sang,  or  rather  shouted,  a  little  Corporal,  whom  we 
have  met  before  in  these  pages,  as  he  made  ridicu 
lous  efforts  to  infuse  life  into  heels  clodded  with  mud. 

"Talk  as  you  please  about  old  Pigey,  boys,  he's  a 
regular  trump  on  the  whiskey  question.  He'll  cut 
red-tape  any  day  on  that.  Don't  you  see  the  boys  ?" 
continued  the  Corporal,  addressing  a  crowd  reposing 
at  full  length  upon  the  freshly  cut  pine  boughs,  con 
spicuous  among  whom  was  the  Adjutant ; — pointing 
as  he  spoke  to  several  men  in  uniform,  but  boys  in 
years,  who  were  being  forced  and  dragged  along  by 
successive  groups  of  their  comrades. 

"  Couldn't  stand  the  Commissary — stomachs  too 
tender.  Ha !  ha  !  Pigey  and  myself  are  in  on  that." 

"  What  is  up  now,  Corporal  ?  "  queried  the  Adj  u- 
tant. 

"  Nothing  is  up ;  it's  all  down,"  retorted  the  Cor- 


276  BED-TAPE    AXD 

poral,  in  a  half  serious  air,  as  he  saluted  the  Colonel 
respectfully.  "You  see,  Adjutant,  they  are  bits  of 
boys  at  any  rate,  just  from  school,  and  the  Commis 
sary  was  too  much  for  their  empty  stomachs.  I 
was  sent  back  to  hurry  up  the  stragglers,  and  while 
we  were  catching  up  as  rapidly  as  possible,  old 
Pigey  came  ploughing  up  the  mud  alongside  of  us, 
followed  by  that  sucker-mouthed  Aid.  I  saw  at 
once  that  Division  Head-quarters  had  a  good  load 
on.  With  a  patronizing  grin,  said  the  General  stop 
ping  short  alongside  of  a  wagon  belonging  to  another 
corps,  and  that  was  fast  almost  up  to  the  wagon-bed, 
while  the  mules  were  fairly  floating, '  What's  in  that 
wagon  ?'  and  without  waiting  for  answer,  '  whiskey, 
by  G — d,'  he  broke  out,  snuffing  at  the  same  time 
towards  the  wagon.  '  Boys,  unload  a  couple  of 
barrels,'  he  continued,  good-humoredly,  as  if  trying 
to  make  up  for  the  outrage  he  has  just  committed 
upon  the  Regiment.  The  driver  protested,  and  the 
wagon  guards  said  that  it  could  not  be  taken  without 
an  order  ;  but  it  was  after  three,  and  old  Pigey 
ripped  and  swore  that  his  order  was  as  good  as  any 
body's,  and  the  guards  were  frightened  enough  to 
let  our  boys  roll  out  two  barrels.  No  pigeon-holing 
on  a  whiskey  scent !  One  barrel  he  ordered  up  to 
his  head-quarters,  and  the  head  of  the  other  was 
knocked  in,  and  he  told  us  to  drink  our  fill,  and  at 
it  the  boys  went.  Tin  cups,  canteens,  cap-covers, 
anything  that  would  hold  the  article,  were  made  use 
of,  and  they  are  a  blue  old  crowd,  from  the  General 
down.  The  boys  had  had  nothing  but  a  few  hard 
tack  during  the  day,  and  it  was  about  the  first  drink 
to  some,  and  from  the  way  it  tastes  it  must  have 
been  made  out  of  rotten  corn  and  not  two  months  old, 
and  altogether  straggling  increased  considerably." 


PIGEON-HOLE     GENERALS.  277 

gling !  why  they  are  wallowing  like  hogs 
in  the  mud,  Adjutant !  It  is  a  shame,  and  if  some 
one  of  my  superiors  will  not  prefer  charges  against 
the  General  and  his  Adjutant,  I  will.  Men  of  mine 
are  drunk  that  I  never  knew  to  taste  a  drop  before," 
indignantly  exclaimed  the  Western  Virginia  Captain, 
as,  with  hat  off,  face  aglow  with  perspiration,  eyes 
flashing,  and  boots  that  indicated  service  in  taking 
the  soundings  of  the  mud  on  the  inarch,  he  came 
panting  up  with  rapid  strides.  "  Now,  sir,  fourteen 
of  my  best  men  are  drunk — the  first  drunken  man  I 
have  had  during  the  campaign — and  I'll  be  shot  to 
death  with  musketry ,  sooner  than  punish  a  single 
man  of  them." 

"  But  discipline  must  be  kept  up,"  said  the  Adju 
tant. 

"  Discipline  !  do  you  say,  Adjutant?  "  retorted  the 
Captain.  "If  you  want  to  se.e  discipline  go  to  Divi 
sion  Head-quarters.  Why  old  Pi  gey  is  prancing 
around  like  a  steed  at  a  muster, — crazy  !  absolutely 
crazy!  His  cocked  hat  is  more  crooked  than  ever, 
and  the  knot  of  his  muffler  is  at  the  back  of  his 
neck,  and  the  ends  flying  like  wings.  Just  a  few 
minutes  ago  he  stopped  suddenly  while  on  a  can 
ter,  right  by  one  of  my  men,  lying  along  the  road 
side,  that  he  had  made  drunk,  and  chuckled  and 
laughed,  and  lolled  from  side  to  side  in  his  saddle, 
and  then  at  a  canter  again  rode  to  another  one  and 
went  through  the  same  performance.  And  his  Ad 
jutant-General — why  one  of  my  men  not  ten  minutes 
ago  led  his  horse  to  Head-quarters.  He  was  so 
drunk,  actually,  that  his  eyes  looked  like  those  of  a 
shad  out  of  water  a  day, — his  feet  out  of  the  stirrups, 
the  reins  loose  about  his  horse's  neck,  his  hands 
hanging  listlessly  down,  and  the  liquor  oozing  out 


278  RED-TAPE    AND 

of  the  corners  of  his  sucker  mouth.  And  there  he 
was,  his  horse  carrying  him  about  at  random  among 
the  stumps,  and  officers  and  men  laughing  at  him, 
expecting  to  see  him  go  over  on  the  one  side  or  the 
other  every  moment.  Now,  it  is  a  burning  shame. 
And  I,  for  one,  will  expose  them,  if  it  takes  the  hide 
oft'.  Here  are  our  Colonels  confined  just  for  no 
offence  at  all, — for  doing  their  duty,  in  fact, — and 
this  man,  after  having  Court-martialed  all  that  he 
could  of  his  command,  trying  to  demoralize  the  rest 
by  whiskey.  Now,  sir,  the  higher  the  rank  the 
more  severe  the  punishment  should  be.  Just  before 
we  started  Burney  had  an  order  read  that  we  were 
about  to  meet  the  enemy,  and  that  every  man  must 
do  his  duty.  And  here  is  a  General  of  Division,  in 
command  of  nine  thousand  men,  as  drunk  as  a  fool." 

"  Let  Pigey  alone  on  the  whiskey  question,  Cap 
tain,"  interrupted  the  Corporal,  who  had  in  the 
meantime  been  refreshing  his  inner  man  by  a  pull 
at  his  canteen.  "  He's  a  regular  trump — yes,"  slap 
ping  his  canteen  as  he  spoke,  "  a  full  hand  of  trumps 
any  time  on  that  topic.  Like  other  men,  he  drinks 
to  drown  his  grief  at  our  poor  prospect  of  a  fight." 

"A  fine  condition  he  is  in  to  lead  men  into  a 
fight ; — but  not  much  worse  than  at  Fredericksburg," 
slowly  observed  the  Preacher  Lieutenant,  who,  as 
one  of  the  crowd,  had  been  a  listener  to  the  story  of 
the  Captain.  "  Drunkenness  has  cursed  our  army 
too  much.  But  we  cannot  consistently  be  silent 
in  sight  of  conduct  like  this  on  the  part  of  Com 
manders.  The  interests  of  our  men" 

"  Have  a  care,  Lieutenant,"  quietly  observed  the 
Adj  utant,  "  how  you  talk.  '  The  interests  of  the  men' 
have  placed  our  Colonels  under  guard  in  the  Sibley." 

"Not  bolts,  nor  bars  a  prison   make,"  resumed 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  279 

the  Preacher  more  spiritedly,  "and  I  would  sooner 
have  a  quiet  conscience  in  confinement,  than  the 
reproach  of  disgraceful  conduct  and  command  a 
Division." 

Corduroying  the  entire  route  had  not  been  pro 
posed,  when  the  army  commenced  its  movement; 
but  it  became  apparent  to  all  that  progress  was  only 
tolerable  with  it,  and  without  it,  impossible.  On  the 
day  after  the  above  conversation,  the  army  com 
menced  to  retrace  its  steps.  Some  days,  however, 
intervened  before  the  smoke  ascended  from  their  old 
huts,  and  the  men  in  lazy  circles  about  the  camp 
fires  rehashed  their  recollections  of  the  "  mud  march." 

Like  our  repulse  at  Fredericksburg,  it  was,  as  far 
as  our  Commander-in-Chief  was  concerned,  a  mis 
fortune  and  not  a  fault.  A  change  in  command 
\ras  evident,  however,  and  the  substitution  of  the 
whole-hearted,  dashing  Hooker  /or  the  equally 
earnest  but  more  steady  Burnside,  that  took  place 
in  the  latter  part  of  January,  occasioned  no  surprise 
in  the  army.  The  new  Commander  went  much 
farther,  than  old  attachments  had  probably  permit 
ted  his  predecessor  in  going,  in  removing  McClel- 
lanism.  Grand  Divisions  were  abolished ;  rigid 
inquiries  into  the  comforts  and  conveniences  of  the 
men  were  frequent,  and  senseless  reviews  less  fre 
quent.  Bakeries  were  established  in  every  Brigade, 
and  fresh  bread  and  hot  rolls  furnished  in  whole 
some  abundance,  to  the  great  benefit  of  the  Govern 
ment,  for  hospital  rolls  were  thereby  depleted,  and 
reports  for  duty  increased.  Kigid  discipline  and 
daily  drills  too  were  kept  up,  as  "  Old  Joe"  was  a 
frequent  visitor,  when  least  expected.  His  constant 
solicitude  for  the  welfare  of  the  men,  manifested 


280  RED-TAPE    A1STD 

by  close  personal  attention,  which  the  men  them 
selves  were  witness  to,  rather  than  by  concocted 
newspaper  reports,  by  which  the  friends  of  the 
soldier  in  their  loyal  homes  might  be  imposed  upon, 
and  the  soldier  himself  not  benefited,  endeared  him 
to  his  entire  command.  • 

One  clear,  cold  morning,  during  these  palmy 
days  of  the  army,  the  men  of  the  regiment  nearest 
the  Surgeon's  Quarters  were  greatly  surprised  by 
the  sudden  exit  of  a  small-sized  sheet  iron  stove  from 
the  tent  occupied  by  the  Surgeon  and  Chaplain, 
closely  followed  up  by  the  little  Dutch  Doctor  iu 
his  shirt  sleeves,  sputtering  hurriedly — 

"  Tarn  schmoke  pox !"  and  at  every  ejaculation 
bestowing  a  vigorous  kick.  At  a  reasonably  safe 
distance  in  his  rear  was  the  Chaplain,  in  half  undress 
also,  remonstrating  as  coolly  as  possible, — consider 
ing  that  the  stov£  was  his  property-  The  Doctor  did 
not  refrain,  however,  until  its  badly  battered  frag 
ments  lay  at  intervals  upon  the  ground. 

"  Efry  morn,  and  efry  morn,  schmoke  sluist  as  the 
Tuyfel."  I  no  need  prepare  for  next  world  py  that 
tain  shmoke  pox.  Eh  ?"  continued  the  Doctor,  facing 
the  Chaplain. 

"  Come,  Doctor,"  said  the  Chaplain,  soothingly, 
"  we  ought  to  get  along  better  than  this  in  our  de 
partment." 

"  Shaplain's  department !  Eh  !  By  G— t !  One 
Horse-Doctor  and  one  Shaplain  enough  for  a  whole 
Division  !" 

The  sudden  appearance  of  Bill,  the  attendant 
upon  the  Colonels  in  the  Sibley,  at  the  Adjutant's 
quarters,  had  the  effect  of  transferring  hither  the 
crowd,  who  were  enjoying  what  proved  to  be  a 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  281 

final  dissolution  of  partnership  between  the  Chap 
lain  and  the  Doctor. 

"I  know  your  errand,  Bill,"  remarked  the  Ad 
jutant,  looking  him  full  in  the  face.  "An  orderly 
has  just  handed  me  the  General  Order.  But  what 
is  to  become  of  the  Lieutenant-Colonel  ?" 

"You  only  have  the  order-dismissing  the  Colonel, 
then.  There  was  a  message  sent  about  ten  o'clock 
last  night, 'a  little  after  the  General  Order  was 
received  at  the  Sibley,  stating  that  at  day-break  this 
morning  the  Colonel  should  be  e'scorted  to  Aquia 
under  guard,  and  that  before  leaving  he  should  have 
no  intercourse  whatever  with  any  of  his  command. 
Old  Pigey  also  tried  further  to  add  insult  to  injury, 
by  stating  that  the  Lieutenant-Colonel,  who  cannot, 
from  weakness,  walk  twenty  steps,  even  though  it 
would  save  his  life,  would  be  released  from  close 
confinement,  and  might  have  the  benefit  of  Brigade 
limits  in  our  new  camp  ground  for  exercise.  You 
know  that  is  so  full  of  stumps  and  undergrowth  that 
a  well  man  can  hardly  get  along  in  it." 

"  So  an  officer  of  the  Colonel's  merit  and  services," 
remarked  the  Adjutant,  "  was  dragged  off  before 
daylight,  and  disgraced  for  what  was  in  its  very 
worst  light  but  a  simple  blunder,  made  under  the 
most  extenuating  of  circumstances.  Boys,  if  there 
be  faith  in  Stanton's  pledged  word,  matters  will  be 
set  right  as  soon  as  the  record  of  the  case  reaches 
the  War  Department.  I  am  informed  that  he 
denounced  the  whole  proceeding  as  an  outrage,  and 
telegraphed  the  General ;  and  we  all  know  that 
the  General  has  been  spending  a  good  portion  ofthfl 
time  since  the  trial  in  Washington." 

"  And  he  came  back,"  observed  Bill,  "  yesterday 
morning,  in  a  mood  unusual  with  him  before  three 


282  BED-TAPE   AND 

o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  He  had  his  whole  staff, 
all  his  orderlies  and  the  Provost  Guard  out  to  stop  a 
Maine  Regiment  from  walking  by  the  side  of  the 
road,  when  the  mud  was  over  shoe  top  in  the  road 
itself, — and  he  flourished  that  thin  sword  of  his,  and 
raved  and  swore  and  danced  about  until  one  of  the 
Maine  boys  wanted  to  know  who  '  that  little  old 
Cockey  was  with  a  ramrod  in  his  hand, — 'and  that  set 
the  laugh  so  much  against  him  that  his  Aids  returned 
their  pistols  and  he  his  sword,  and  he  sneaked  back 
to  his  marquee,  and  issued  an  order  requiring  his 
whole  command  to  stand  at  arms  along  the  road 
side  upon  the  approach  of  troops  from  either  direc 
tion." 

"  Which,"  remarked  the  Adjutant,  "  if  obeyed, 
would  keep  them  under  arms  well  nigh  all  the  time, 
and  would  provoke  a  collision,  as  it  would  be  an 
insult  to  the  troops  of  other  commands,  to  whom  the 
road  should  be  equally  free.  But  it  is  a  fair  sample 
of  the  judgment  of  Pigey." 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  283 


CHAPTEE  XIX. 

Tlie  Presentation  Mania — The  Western.  Virginia  Captain  in  the 
War  Department — Politeness  and  Mr.  Secretary  Stanton — 
Capture  of  the  Dutch  Doctor — A  Genuine  Newspaper  Sell. 

PRESENTATIONS  by  men  to  officers  should  be 
prevented  by  positive  orders  ;  not  that  the 
recipients  are  not  usually  meritorious,  but  the  prac 
tice  by  its  pre valency  is  an  unjust  tax  upon  a  class 
little  able  to  bear  it.  A  costly  sword  must  be 
presented  to  our  Captain, — intimates  a  man  perhaps 
warmly  in  the  Captain's  confidence.  Forthwith  the 
list  is  started,  and  with  extra  guard  and  fatigue  duty 
before  the  eyes  of  the  men,  it  makes  a  unanimous 
circuit  of  the  command.  Active  newspaper  reporters, 
from  the  sheer  merit  of  the  officer,  may  be,  and  may 
be  from  the  additional  inducement  of  a  little  com 
pensation,  give  an  account  of  the  presentation  in 
one  of  the  dailies  that  fills  the  breasts  of  the  officer's 
friends  with  pride,  while  the  decreased  remittance 
of  the  private  may  keep  back  some  creature  comfort 
from  his  wife  and  little  ones.  Statistics  showing 
how  far  these  presentations  are  spontaneous  offer 
ings,  and  to  what  extent  results  of  wire-working 
at  Head-quarters,  would  prove  more  curious  than 
creditable. 

Our   Brigade   did  not    escape    the   Presentation 


284  RED-TAPE    AND 

Mania.  Never  did  it  develop  itself  in  a  command, 
however,  more  spontaneously.  The  plain,  practical 
sense  of  our  Brigadier  was  the  more  noticeable  to 
the  men,  on  account  of  its  marked  contrast  to  the 
quibbles  and  conceit  of  the  General  of  Division. 
The  officers  and  men  of  the  Brigade  had  with  great 
care  and  cost  selected  a  noble  horse  of  celebrated 
stock  upon  which  to  mount  their  Brigadier,  and,  on 
a  pleasant  evening  in  March,  a  crowd  informally, 
assembled  was  busied  in  arranging  for  the  morrow 
the  programme  of  presentation.  The  General  of 
Division,  so  far  in  the  cold  in  the  matter,  was  just 
then  making  himself  sensibly  felt. 

"  Colonel,"  said  an  officer,  who  from  the  direction 
of  Brigade  Head-quarters  neared  the  crowd,  address 
ing  a  central  figure,  "  you  might  as  well  take  the 
General's  horse  out  to  grass  awhile." 

"  Explain  yourself,"  say  several. 

"  Pigey  has  his  foot  in  the  whole  matter  nicely. 
The  General,  you  know,  just  returned  this  evening 
from  sick  leave.  Well,  he  and  his  friends,  who 
came  with  him  to  see  the  presentation  cereindnies, 
had  not  been  at  Head-quarters  an  hour  before  that 
sucker-mouthed  Aid  made  his  appearance,  and  said 
that  he  was  directed  by  the  General  Commanding 
the  Division  to  place  him  under  arrest.  The  fellow 
was  drunk,  and  the  General  hardly  deigned  to  notice 
him.  As  he  staggered  away,  he  muttered  that  there 
were  fifteen  charges  against  him,  and  that  he  would 
find  the  General's  grip  a  tight  one." 

u  Amid  exclamations,  indicating  that  the  per 
plexity  of  the  matter  could  not  prevent  a  sly  smile 
at  the  ludicrous  position  in  which  the  Brigadier  and 
his  friends  from  abroad  were  placed,  the  officer 
continued — 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  285 

"  But  the  General  brings  good  news  from  Wash 
ington.  The  Colonel  and  Lieutenant-Colonel  of  the 
210rh  return  at  an  early  day." 

"  Yes,  sir,  that  is  so,"  broke  in  our  Western  Vir 
ginia  Captain,  who  had  just  returned  from  enjoying 
one  of  the  furloughs  at  that  time  so  freely  dis- 
tributod.  "  At  last  the  War  Department,  or  rather 
Mr.  Secretary  Stanton,  for  all  the  balance  of  the 
department,  as  far  as  I  could  learn,  thought  the 
delay  outrageous,  fulfils  its  promise.  After  the 
Lieutenant-Colonel  had  been  at  home  on  a  sick 
leave  for  some  time,  and  we  all  thought  the* 
matter  about  dropped ;  what  should  I  see  one  day 
but  his  name,  with  thirty-two  others,  in  a  daily, 
under  the  head  of  c  Dismissals  from  the  Army.' 
There  it  was,  dismissed  for  doing  his  duty,  and 
published  right  among  the  names  of  scoundrels  who 
had  skulked  five  times  from  the  battle-field ;  men 
charged  with  drunkenness,  and  every  offence  known 
to  the  Military  Decalogue.  My  furlcrugh  had  just 
come,  and  I  started  for  Washington  by  the  next 
boat,  bound  to  see  how  the  matter  stood.  The 
morning  after  I  got  there,  I  posted  up  bright  and 
early  to  the  War  Department,  but  a  sergeant  near 
the  door,  with  more  polish  on  his  boots  than  in  his 
manners,  told  me  that  I  had  better  keep  shady  until 
ten  o'clock,  as  business  hours  commenced  then.  I 
sat  down  on  a  pile  of  old  lumber  near  by,  and  passed 
very  nearly  three  hours  in  wondering  why  so  many 
broad-shouldered  fellows,  who  could  make  a  sabre 
fall  as  heavy  as  the  blow  of  a  broad-axe,  were 
lounging  about  or  going  backward  and  forward  upon 
errands  that  sickly  boys  might  do  as  well.  As  it 
grew  nearer  ten,  able-bodied,  bright-looking  officers, 
Regulars,  as  I  was  told,  educated  at  Uncle  Sam's 


286  KED-TAPE   AND 

expense  to  fight,  elegantly  shoulder-strapped,  passed 
in  to  drive  quills  in  a  quiet  department,  '  remote 
from  death's  alarms,'  and  I  wondered  if  some  spirited 
clerks  and  schoolmasters  that  I  knew,  who  would 
have  been  willing  to  have  gone  bent  double  under 
knapsacks,  if  the  Surgeon  would  have  accepted 
them,  would  not  have  performed  the  duty  better, 
and  have  permitted  the  country  to  have  the  benefit 
of  the  military  education  of  these  gentlemen." 

"  I  see,  Captain,  that  you  don't  understand  it," 
interrupted  an  officer.  "  Our  Regular  Officers  are 
not  all  alike  patriotic  up  to  the  fighting  point  ;  and 
it  is  a  charitable  provision  that  permits  one,  say, — 
who  is  married  to  a  plantation  of  niggers,  or  who 
has  other  Southern  sympathies  or  affinities,  or  who 
may  have  conscientious  scruples  about  fighting 
against  our  4  Southern  brethren,' — to  take  a  snug 
salary  in  some  peaceful  department,  or  to  go  on 
recruiting  service  in  quiet  towns,  where  grass 
hoppers  can  be  heard  singing  for  squares,  and  where 
he  is  under  the  necessity  of  killing  nothing  but  time, 
and  wounding  nothing  but  his  country's  honor  and 
his  own,  if  a  man  of  that  description  can  be  said  to 
possess  any.  In  their  offices,  these  half-hearted 
Lieutenants,  Captains,  and  Colonels,  are  like  satraps 
in  their  halls,  unapproachable,  except  by  passing 
bayonets  that  should  be  turned  towards  Richmond." 

"  "Well,  if  1  don't  understand  it,"  resumed  the 
Captain,  "  it  is  high  time  that  Uncle  Sam  under 
stood  it.  If  these  men  are  half-hearted,  they  will 
write  no  better  than  they  fight,  and  I  guess  if  the 
truth  could  be  got  at,  they  are  responsible  for  most 
of  the  clogging  in  the  Commissary  and  Quarter 
master  Departments.  But  you've  got  me  off  my 
story.  At  ten  o'clock  I  staved  in,  just  as  I  was, 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  287 

my  uniform  shabby,  and  my  boots  with  a  tolerably 
fair  representation  of  Aquia  mud  upon  them.  Pass 
ing  from  one  orderly  to  another,  I  brought  up  at  the 
Adjutant-General's  office,  and  there  I  was  referred 
to  the  head  clerk's  office,  and  there  a  pleasant-look 
ing,  gentlemanly  Major  told  me  that  the  matter 
would  be  certainly  set  straight  as  soon  as  the  court- 
martial  records  were  forwarded ;  that  they  had 
telegraphed  for  them  again  and  again  ;  and  that 
at  one  time  they  were  reported  lost,  and  at  another 
carried  off  by  one  of  General  Burnside's  Staft 
Officers.  As  I  had  heard  of  records  of  the  kind 
being  delayed  before,  I  intimated  rather  plainly 
what  I  thought  of  the  matter,  and  told  him  that  I 
wanted  to  see  the  Secretary  himself.  He  smiled, 
and  told  me  to  take  my  place  in  the  rear  of  an  odd- 
looking  mixed  assemblage  of  persons  in  the  hall, 
who  were  crowding  towards  an  open  door.  It  was 
after  two  o'clock  and  after  I  had  stood  until  I  felt 
devotional  about  the  knees,  when  my  turn  brought 
me  before  the  door,  and  showed  me  Mr.  Secretary 
himself,  standing  behind  a  desk,  tossing  his  head, 
now  on  this  side  and  now  on  that,  with  quick  jerks, 
like  a  short-horned  bull  in  fly  time,  despatching 
business  and  the  hopes  of  the  parties  who  had  it  from 
their  looks,  about  the  same  time.  Right  manfully 
did  he  stand  up  to  his  work ;  better  than  to  his 
word  perhaps,  if  reports  that  I  have  heard  be 
true." 

"  A  pretty-faced,  middle-aged  lady  approached  his 
desk,  and  I  thought  that  I  could  see  a  rather  awk 
ward  effort  at  a  smile  hang  around  the  upper  corners 
of  his  huge,  black  beard,  as  his  eye  caught  her  fea 
tures  through  his  spectacles,  and  he  received  her 
papers.  But  the  gruff  manner  in  which  he  told  her 


268  BED-TAPE    AND 

the  next  moment  that  he  would  not  grant  it,  showed 
I  was  mistaken. 

"  '  But  I  was  told,  Mr.  Secretary,'  said  the  woman, 
in  tremulous  tones,  '  that  my  papers  were  all  right, 
and  that  your  assent  was  a  mere  formality.  I  have 
three  other  sons  in  the  service,  and  this  boy  is 
not' 

"  '  I  don't  care  what  you  have  been  told,'  retorted 
the  Secretary,  in  a  manner  that  made  me  so  far  for 
get  my  reverence  that  my  toes  suddenly  felt  as  if 
disposed  to  propel  something  that,  strange  to  say,  had 
the  semblance  of  humanity,  and  was  not  distant  at 
the  time.  '  You  had  better  leave  the  room,  madam  !' 
continued  the  same  voice,  somewhat  gruffer  and 
sterner,  as  the  poor  woman  burst  into  tears  at  the  sud 
den  disappointment.  '  You  only  interrupt  and  annoy. 
"We  are  accustomed  to  this  sort  of  thing  here.' 

"  I  looked  at  him  as  he  took  the  papers  of  another 
for  examination,  and  wondered  whether  we  were 
really  American  citizens — sovereigns  as  our  politi 
cians  tell  us  when  on  the  stump,  and  whether  he 
was  really  a  public  servant.  But  1  couldn't  see  it. 

"  Now,  civility  is  a  cheap  commodity,  and,  in  my 
humble  opinion,  the  least  that  can  be  expected  of 
men  filling  public  positions  is  that  they  should  pos 
sess  it  in  an  ordinary  degree. 

"  Three  o'clock  came,  but  it  was  not  my  turn  yet. 
In  fact,  the  treatment  of  the  lady  had  so  disgusted 
me,  that  I  was  quite  ready  to  leave  when  a  servant 
announced  that  business  hours  were  over.  That 
evening,  I  found  out  to  my  great  satisfaction  that 
men  considerably  more  influential  than  myself  had 
held  the  Secretary  to  the  promises  he  had  made 
them,  and  that  notwithstanding  all  his  backing  and 
filling  the  order  for  their  return  would  be  issued." 


PIGEON-HOLE   GEXERALS.  289 

The  disappointment  of  the  morrow  was  a  standing 
topic  in  camp  and  on  the  picket  line  for  the  ensuing 
three  weeks.  The  only  doubt  that  existed  with  the 
Court  convened  for  the  trial  of  the  Brigadier  ap 
peared  to  be  whether  the  numerous  charges  excelled 
most  in  frivolity  or  malicej  as  a  slight  reprimand 
for  writing  an  unofficial  account  of  an  engagement, — 
an  oftence  of  which  several  members  of  the  Court  had, 
by  their  own  confession,  repeatedly  been  guilty, — 
was  the  sole  result  of  its  labor.  His  restoration  to 
command,  the  presentation,  and  the  return  of  the 
Colonels  followed  in  rapid  succession  amid  the  re 
joicings  of  officers  and  men. 

— Amid  the  waste  of  meadow  and  woodland  that 
characterized  the  face  of  that  country,  the  houses  of 
the  farmers,  or  rather,  to  use  the  grandiloquent 
language  of  the  inhabitants,  "  the  mansions  of  the 
planters,"  were  objects  of  peculiar  interest.  In  their 
quaint  appearance  and  general  air  of  dilapidation, 
they  stood  as  relics  of  the  civilization  of  another 
age.  Centuries,  seemingly,  of  important  events  in 
the  law  of  progress  are  crowded  into  years  of  our 
campaigning.  The  social  status  of  a  large  country 
semi-civilized — whether  you  regard  the  intelligence 
of  its  people  or  the  condition  of  its  society — is  being 
suddenly  altered.  The"  war  accomplishes  what 
well-designing  men  lacked  nerve  and  ability  to 
execute — emancipation.  The  blessings  of  a  purer 
civilization  will  follow  as  naturally  as  sunshine  fol 
lows  storm. 

And  yet  here  and  there  these  old  buildings  would 
be  varied  by  one  evidently  framed  upon  a  Yankee 
model.  Such  was  what  was  widely  known  in  the 
army  as  "  the  Moncure  House."  On  a  commanding 
site  at  the  edge  of  a  meadow  several  miles  in  length, 

13 


290  EED-TArE   AND 

and  that  seemed  from  the  abrupt  bluffs  that  bordered 
it  to  have  been  once  the  bottom  of  a  lake,  this  two- 
story  weather-board  frame  was  readily  discernible. 
Its  location  made  it  a  prominent  point,  too,  upon  the 
picket  line,  and  it  was  favored  above  its  fellows  by 
daily  and  nightly  occupancy  by  officers  of  the  com 
mand.  At  this  period  the  Regiment  almost  lived 
upon  the  picket  line.  An  old  wench,  with  several 
chalky  complexioned  children,  whose  paternal  an 
cestor  was  understood  to  be  under  a  musket  of  Eng 
lish  manufacture  perhaps,  somewhere  on  the  south 
side  of  the  Rappahannock,  occupied  the  kitchen  of 
the  premises.  She  was  unceasing  in  reminding  her 
military  co-lodgers  that  the  room  used  by  them  as 
head-quarters, — from  the  window  of  which  you  could 
take  in  at  a  glance  the  tine  expanse  of  valley, 
threaded  by  a  sparkling  tributary  of  the  Potomac, — 
was  massa's  study,  and  that  massa  was  a  preacher 
and  had  written  a  "right  smart"  lot  of  sermons  in 
that  very  place.  In  the  eyes  of  Dinah  the  room  was 
invested  with  a  peculiar  sanctity.  Not  so  with  its 
present  occupants,  who  could  not  learn  that  the 
minister,  who  was  a  large  slaveholder,  had  remem 
bered  "those  in  bonds  as  bound,  with  them,"  and 
who  were  quite  content  that  artillery  proclaiming 
"  liberty  throughout  the  land"  in  tones  of  thunder 
had  driven  away  this  vender  of  the  divinity  of  the 
institution  of  slavery. 

In  this  room,  on  seats  rudely  improvised,  for  its 
proper  furniture  had  long  since  disappeared,  some 
officers  not  on  duty  were  passing  a  pleasant  April 
afternoon,  when  their  reveries  of  other  days  and 
rehashes  of  old  camp  yarns  were  interrupted  by  the 
sudden  ad  vent  of  an  officer  who  a  week  previously  had 
been  detailed  in  charge  of  a  number  of  men  to  form 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  291 

part  of  an  outer  picket  station  some  distance  up  the 
river.  His  face  indicated  news,  and  lie  was  at  once 
the  centre  of  attraction. 

"  Colonel  1"  exclaimed  he,  without  waiting  to  be 
questioned,  "  two  of  our  best  men  have  been  taken 
prisoners,  and  the  little  Dutch  Doctor " 

"  What  has  happened  to  him  ?"  from  several  at  once. 

"  Was  taken  prisoner  and  released,  but  had  his 
horse  stolen." 

His  hearers  breathed  freer  when  they  heard  of  the 
personal  safety  of  the  Doctor,  and  the  officer  con 
tinued — 

"  And  the  loss  of  our  men  and  his  horse  has  all 
happened  through  the  carelessness, — to  treat  it 
mildly, — of  the  exhorting  Colonel.  He  is  in  com 
mand  of  the  station,  and  yesterday  afternoon  the 
Doctor  was  on  duty  at  his  head-quarters.  In  came 
one  of  the  black-eyed  beauties  that  live  in  a  house 
near  the  ford,  about  half  a  mile  from  the  station, 
boo-hooing  at  a  terrible  rate — that  the  youngest  rebel 
of  her  family  was  dying  with  the  croup — and  that  no 
doctor  was  near— and  all  that  old  story.  The  Colo 
nel  was  fool  enough  to  order  the  Doctor  to  mount 
his  horse  and  go  with  the  woman.  Well,  the  Doctor 
had  got  near  the  house,  when  out  sprang  two  Missis 
sippi  Riflemen  from  the  pines  on  either  side  of  the 
road  and  levelled  their  pieces  at  him.  The  Doctor 
had  to  dismount,  and  they  sent  him  back  on  foot. 
Luckily  the  Colonel,  who,  as  black  Charley  says, 
has  been  praying  for  a  star  for  some  time  past,  had 
borrowed  the  Doctor's  dress  sword  on  the  pretence 
that  it  was  lighter  to  carry,  but  on  the  ground, 
really,  that  it  looked  more  Brigadier-like,  or  he 
would  have  lost  that  too.  I  was  on  duty  down  by 
the  river  hardly  two  hours  after  it  happened,  and  as 


292  BED-TAPE   AND 

there  is  no  firing  now  along  the  picket  line  the.  sol 
diers  were  free-and-easy  on  both  sides.  All  at  once 
I  heard  laughter  on  the  other  side,  and  looking  over, 
I  saw  a  short,  thick-set  Grey-back  riding  the  stolen 
horse  near  the  water's  edge.  Presently  two  other 
Grey-backs  sprang  on  either  side  of  the  horse's  head, 
and  with  pieces  levelled,  in  tones  loud  enough  for 
us  to  hear,  demanded  his  surrender. 

" '  Why,  shentlemen  Rebels,  mein  Gott,  you  no 
take  non  compatants,  me  surgeon,'  said  the  Grey- 
back  on  the  horse,  in  equally  loud  voice. 

"  '  No,  d — n  you  !  Dismount !  We  don't  want 
you.  You  can  be  of  more  service  to  the  Confede 
rate  cause  where  you  are.  But  we  must  have  the 
nag.' 

"  '  Mine  private  property,'  he  replied,  as  he  dis 
mounted. 

"  4  In  a  horn, ''said  one  of  the  Grey-backs,  pointing 
to  the  U.  S.  on  the  shoulder  of  the  beast.  'That 
your  private  mark,  eh  ? ' 

"  'You  no  shentlemen.  By  G — t,  no  honor,'  re 
torted  the  Grey -back  who  personated  the  Doctor,  as 
lie -swelled  himself  and  strutted  about  on  the  sand 
in  such  a  high  style  of  indignation  as  to  draw  roars 
of  laughter  from  both  sides  of  the.  river. 

"That  rather  paid  us  with  interest  for  the  way 
we  sold  them  the  day  before.  You  know  they  Have 
been  crazy  after  our  dailies  ever  since  the  strict 
general  order  preventing  the  exchange  of  the  daily 
papers  between  pickets.  Well,  that  dare-devil  of  a 
law  student,  Tom,  determined  to  have  some  fun 
with  them.  So  when  they  again,  as  they  often  had 
before,  came  to  the  river  with  hands  full  of  Rich 
mond  papers,  proposing  exchange,  Tom  flourished  a 
paper  also.  That  was  the  old  signal,  and  forthwith 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  293 

a  raw-boned  Alabamian  stripped  and  commenced 
wading  toward  a  rock  that  jutted  up  in  the  middle 
of  the  river.  Tom  stripped  also,  and  met  him  at 
the  rock.  Mum  was  the  word  between  them,  and 
each  turned  for  his  own  shore,  the  Grey-back  with 
Tom's  paper,  and  Tom  with  several  of  the  latest 
Richmond  prints.  A  crowd  of  Rebel  officers  met 
their  messenger  at  the  water's  edge  and  received  the 
paper.  The  one  who  opened  it,  bent  nearly  double 
with  laughter,  and  the  rest  rapidly  followed  as  their 
eyes  lit  on  the  stars  and  stripes  printed  in  glowing 
colors  on  the  first  page  of  the  little  religious  paper 
that  our  Chaplains  distribute  so  freely  in  camp, 
called  c  The  Christian  Banner.'  One  old  officer, 
apparently  of  higher  rank  than  the  rest,  cursed  it  as 
he  went  up  the  bank  as  a  'd — — d  Yankee  sell,; — 
which  did  not  in  the  least  lessen  our  enjoyment  of 
Tom's  success. 

"  But  with  our  two  men  and  the  Doctor's  horse 
they  have  squared  accounts  with  us  since,  and  all 
through  the  fault  of  the  Colonel." 

In  response  to  inquiries  as  to  how,  when,  and 
where,  the  officer  continued — 

"  There  was  a  narrow  strip  of  open  land  between 
a  belt  of  woods  and  the  river.  The  Colonel  posted 
our  two  men  on  the  inside  of  the  woods,  where  they 
had  no  open  view  towards  the  enemy  at  all.  That 
rainy  night  this  week  the  Rebs  came  over  in  boats 
and  gobbled  them  up.  The  Colonel  attributed  their 
loss  to  their  own  neglect,  .and  next  morning  their 
place  was  supplied  by  four  old  soldiers,  as  he  called 
them,  from  his  own  Regiment.  That  same  day  at 
noon,  in  broad  day-light,  they  were  taken." 

"  And  if  he   were   not   a   firm   friend    at    Divi 
sion  Head-quarters  there  would  be  a  dismissal  from 


294  BED-TAPE   AND 

the    service    for    cause,"    said    an    officer    of   the 
crowd. 

"  Our  Corps  Commander  is  too  much  of  a  soldier 
to  let  it  go  by,"  resumed  the  officer,  "  if  our  Briga 
dier  can  force  it   through  Division  Head-quarters,  4 
and  bring  it  to  his  notice." 

The  order  that  introduced  into  the  service  the 
novelty  of  carrying  eight  days'  rations  on  a  march, 
had  been  discussed  for  some  time  in  the  Regiment. 
That  night  the  Hegiment  was  withdrawn  from  the 
picket  line,  and  preparations  were  forthwith  made 
for  a  practical  illustration  of  the  order  on  the  mor 
row. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  295 


CHAPTER    XX. 

The  Army  again  on  the  Move — Pack  Males  and  Wagon  Trains — 
A.  Negro  Prophetess — The  Wilderness — Hooped  Skirts  and 
Black  Jack — The  Five  Days'  Fight  at  C hancellorsville — Terrible 
Death  of  an  Aged  Slave — A  Pigeon-hole,  Generals  "  Power  in 
Reserve." 

IT  was  some  weeks  after  a  Rebel  Picket,  opposite 
Falmouth,  had  surprised  one  of  our  own,  who 
had  not  as  yet  heard  of  the  change  in  the  usual  three 
days'  provender  for  a  march,  by  asking  him  across 
the  river  *'  whether  his  eight  days'  rations  were 
mouldy  yet  ?"  that  the  army  actually  commenced 
its  movement.  While  awaiting  the  word  to  fall  in, 
this  mass  of  humanity  literally  loaded  with  army 
bread  and  ammunition  resembled,  save  in  unifor 
mity,  those  unfortunate  beings  burdened  with 
bundles  of  woe,  so  strikingly  portrayed  in  the 
Vision  of  Mjrza.  To  the  credit  of  the  men,  it  must 
be  stated,  however,  that  the  greatest  good-humor 
prevailed  in  this  effort  to  render  the  army  self-sus 
taining  in  a  country  that  could  not  sustain  itself. 

Another  novel  feature  in  the  movement  was  the 
long  strings  of  pack  mules,  heavily  freighted  with 
ammunition,  which  were  led  in  the  rear  of  the  differ 
ent  Brigades.  Wagon  trains  were  thereby  dispensed 
with,  and  the  mobility  of  the  army  greatly  increased. 


296  BED-TAPE  AXD 

Stringent  orders  were  issued  also  as  to  the  reduction 
of  baggage,  and  dispensing  with  camp  equipage  and 
cooking  utensils. 

In  lively  ranks,  although  each  man  was  freighted 
with  the  prescribed  eight  clays'  provender  and  "sixty 
rounds  of  ball  cartridge,  our  Division,  of  almost 
9,000  men,  moved,  followed  by  two  ambulances  to 
pick  up  those  who  might  fall  by  the  way,  in  the  rear 
of  which  were  five  additional  ambulances  for  the 
especial  use  of  Division  Head-quarters.  For  a 
General  of  whom  reporters  had  said  that  "  he  was 
most  at  home  in  the  field,"  the  supply  of  ambulances, 
full  of  creature  comforts,  was  unusually  heavy.  On 
we  moved  over  the  familiar  ground  of  the  Warren- 
ton  Pike,  in  common  with  several  other  Army 
Corps  in  a 'grand  march;  our  Division,  with  its 
two  ambulances ;  our  General  with  his  five, — and 
our  proportionate  number  of  pack  horses  and  mules. 
The  obstinacy  of  the  latter  animal  was  sorely 
punished  by  the  apparent  effort  during -that  march 
to  teach  it  perpetual  motion.  Halt  the  Division 
did  statedly,  but  there  was  no  rest  for  the  poor 
mule.  Experience  had  taught  its  driver  that  the 
beast  would  take  advantage  of  the  halt  to  lie  down, 
and  when  once  down  no  amount  of  tugging  and 
swearing  and  clubbing  could  induce  it  to  rise. 
Hence,  while  the  command  would  enjoy  their  stated 
halts  by  the  wayside,  these  strings  of  mules  would 
be  led  or  driven  in  continuous  circles  of  steady  toil. 
Despite  the  vigilance  of  their  drivers,  a  mule  would 
occasionally  drop,  and  his  companions  speedily  follow, 
to  stand  a  siege  of  kicks,  cuffs,  and  bayonet  pricks, 
and  to  be  reduced,  or  what  would  be  more  appropriate 
in  their  case,  raised  at  length  by  the  application  of 
a  mud  plaster  to  the  nostrils,  which  would  bring 


PIGEON-HOLE   GEXEEALS.  297 

the  beast  up  in  an  effort  to  breathe  freely ;  from 
which  may  arise  the  slang  phrase  of"  bringing  itnp 


a  snorting." 


Onward  they  marched,  those  wearers  of  the  cross, 
the  square,  the  circle,  the  crescent,  the  star,  the  lo 
zenge,  and  the  tripod  ;  emblemed  representatives  of 
the  interests  of  a  common  humanity  in  the  triumphal 
march  that  the  world  is  witness  to,  of  the  progress  of 
Universal  Emancipation.  Landed  aristocracies  of  the 
Old  World  may  avow  their  affinity  to  the  aristocracy 
of  human  flesh  and  blood  that  has  so  long  cursed  the 
New  ;  but  now  that  the  suicidal  hand  of.  the  latter 
has  caused  the  forfeit  of  its  existence,  we  are  the 
centre  of  the  hopes,  fears,  and  prayers  of  the  univer 
sal  brotherhood  of  man  in  the  effort  to  blot  out  for 
ever  the  only  foul  spot  upon  our  national  escutcheon. 

"  De  Lor  bress  ye.  I  know  yez  all.  Yez,  Uncle 
Samuel's  children.  Lon«^  looked  for  come  at  las," 
said  an  old  wench  on  the  second  day  of  our  march, 
enthusiastically  to  the  advanced  ranks  of  our 
Division,  as  they  wound  around  the  hill  in  sight  of 
Mt.  Holly  Church,  on  the  main  road  to  Kelly's 
Ford,  curtesying  and  gesturing  all  the  while  with 
her  right  hand,  as  if  offering  welcome,  while  with 
her  left  she  steadied  on  her  head  the  cast-away 
cover  of  a  Dutch  oven.  A  pair  of  half- worn  army 
shoes  covered  her  feet,  and  the  folds  of  her  tow 
gown  were  compressed  about  the  waist,  beneath  a 
black  leathern  belt,  the  brass  plate  of  which  bearing 
the  letters  "  U.  S.,"  wore  a  conspicuous  polish. 

"  Massa  over  yonder,"  continued  she,  in  response 
to  a  query  from  the  ranks,  pointing  as  she  spoke 
across  the  river.  "  Hope  you  cotch  him.  Golly 
he'um  slyer  than  a  possum  in  a  hen-roost." 


298  REP-TAPE   AND 

The  anxiety  of  the  wench  for  the  capture  of  her 
master,  and  her  statement  of  a  pre-knowledge  of 
the  visit  of  the  troops,  were  by  no  means  excep 
tional.  Rarely  indeed,  in  the  history  of  the  Rebel 
lion,  has  devotion  on  the  part  of  the  slave  to  the 
interest  of  the  master  been  discovered.  The  vaunted 
fealty  that  would  make  his  cause  their  own,  lacks 
practical  illustration.  An  attempt  to  arm  them  will 
save  recruits  and  arms  to  Uncle  Sam.  Nat  Turner's 
insurrection  developed  their  strong  faith  in  a  day  of 
freedom.  Their  wildest  dreams  of  fancy  could  not 
have  pictured  a  more  auspicious  prelude  to  the 
realization  of  that  faith  than  the  outbreak  of  the 
Rebellion.  Well  might 

"  Massa  tink  it  day  ob  doom, 
But  we  ob  Jubilee." 


The  face  of  the  country ^,t  this  point  was  adorned 
by  the  most  beautiful  variety  of  hill  and  dale.  Com 
pared  with  the  region  about  Aquia,  it  had  been  but 
little  touched  by  the  ravages  of  war.  When  it  shall 
have  been  wholly  reclaimed  under  a  banner,  then  to 
be  emphatically  "  the  Banner  of  the  Free, "an  inviting 
door  will  open  to  enterprising  business. 

A  few  miles  further  on  we  rested  on  our  arms 
upon  the  summit  of  a  ridge  overlooking  that  por 
tion  of  the  Upper  Rappahannock  known  as  Kelly's 
Ford.  The  brilliant  cavalry  engagement  of  a  few 
weeks  previously,  that  occurred  upon  the  level 
ground  in  full  view  above  the  Ford,  invested  it 
with  peculiar  interest.  Who  ever  saw  a  dead 
cavalryman  ?  was  a  question  that  had  been  for  a 
long  time  uttered  as  a  standing  joke.  Hooker's 
advent  to  command  was  attended  by  a  sharp  and 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  209 

stirring  order  that  speedily  brought  this  arm  of  the 
service  to  a  proper  sense  of  duty.  Among  the 
first  fruits  of  the  order  was  this  creditable  fight. 
While  no  excuse  can  be  given  for  the  slovenly 
and  ungainly  riding,  rusty  sabres,  and  dirty  ac 
coutrements,  raw-boned  and  unearned  horses  that 
had  too  often  made  many  of  our  cavalry  regi 
ments  appear  like  a  body  of  Sancho  Panzas  thrown 
loosely  together  ;  it  would  still  be  exceedingly  unfair 
to  have  required  as  much  of  them  as  of  the  educated 
horsemen  and  superior  horse-flesh  that  gave  the 
Hebel  cavalry  their  efficiency  in  the  early  stages  of 
the  war.  Since  then  the  scales  have  turned.  Fre 
quent  successful  raids  and  resistless  charges  have 
given  the  courage,  skill,  and  dash  of  our  Gregg, 
Buford,  Kilpatrick,  Grierson,  and  others  that  might 
be  named,  honorable  mention  at  every  loyal  fireside. 

While  on  the  top  of  this  ridge,  Rush's  regiment 
of  lancers,  with  lances  in  rest  and  pennons  gaily 
fluttering  beneath  the  spear  heads,  cantered  past  the 
regiment.  Their  strange  equipment  gave  an  orien 
tal  appearance  to  the  columns  moving  toward  the 
ford.  With  straining  eyes  we  followed  their  move 
ment  up  the  river  and  junction  with  the  cavalry 
then  crossing  at  a  ford  above  the  pontoons.  The 
Regiment  had  been  almost  continually  broken  up 
for  detached  service,  at  different  head-quarters,  or 
for  the  purpose  of  halting  stragglers.  With  many 
of  the  men,  their  service  appeared  like  their  equip 
ment,  ornamental  rather  than  useful,  and  in  con 
nexion  with  their  foraging  reputation,  won  for  them 
the  expressive  designation  of  "Pig  Stickers." 

Darkness  was  just  setting  in  when  our  turn  came 
upon  the  pontoon  bridge,  and  it  was  quite  dark 
when  we  prepared  ourselves,  in  a  pelting  rain,  for 


.300  RED-TAPE    AND 

rest  for  the  night,  as  we  thought,  in  a  meadow  half 
a  mile  distant  from  the  road.  At  midnight,  in  mud 
and  rain,  we  resumed  the  march,  in  convoy  of  a 
pontoon  train,  and  over  a  by-road  which  from  the 
manner  its  primitive  rock  was  revealed,  must  have 
been  unused  for  years.  The  streams  forded  during 
that  night  of  sleepless  toil,  the  enjoined  silence, 
broken  only  by  the  sloppy  shuffle  of  shoes  half  filled 
with  water,  and  the  creaking  wagons,  the  provoking 
halts  that  would  tempt  the  eyes  to  a  slumber  that 
would  be  broken  immediately  by  the  resumption  of 
the  forward  movement,  have  left  ineifaceable  memo 
ries.  A  somewhat  pedantic  order  of  "  Accelerate 
the  speed  of  your  command.  Colonel,"  given  by  our 
General  of  Division,  as  the  head  of  the  Regiment 
neared  his  presence  towards  morning,  reminded  ns 
of  the  "  long  and  rapid  march"  that  the  Commander- 
in-Chief  intended  the  army  to  make. 

On  the  last  day  of  April  we  crossed  the  Rapidan, 
fording  its  breast-deep  current,  considered  too  strong 
for  the  pontoons,  and  wondering,  especially  as  the 
cannonading  of  the  evening  previous  indicated  re 
sistance  ahead,  that  our  advance  was  not  at  this 
point  impeded.  Artillery  planted  upon  the  circling 
hills  of  the  opposite  shore  would  have  made  the 
passage,  if  even  practicable,  perilous  to  the  last  de 
gree.  As  it  was,  however,  in  puris  naturalibus, 
with  cartridge-box  on  the  musket  barrel,  and  the 
musket  on  the  shoulder,  clothing  in  many  instances 
bundled  upon  the  head,  the  troops  made  the  passage. 
The  whys  and  the  wherefores  of  no  opposition — the 
confidence  of  Old  Joe  having  stolen  a  march  upon 
Johnny  Reb — and  the  u^-ual  surmises  of  the  morrow 
— increased  in  this  instance  by  our  having  surprised 
and  captured  some  Jlebel  pickets  when  just  about 


PKiEOX-IIOLE     GENERALS.  301 

halting,  constituted  ample  capital  for  conversation 
during  our  night's  rest  in  a  pine  grove  two  miles 
south  of  the  ford. 

With  the  Army  of  the  Potomac  the  merry  month 
of  May  had  a  lively  opening.  After  a  march  from 
early  dawn,  we  found  our  Division,  about  the  middle 
of  the  forenoon,  massed  in  a  thick  wood  in  the  rear 
of  a  large  and  imposing  brick  building,  which,  with 
one  or  two  buildings  of  minor  importance,  consti 
tuted  what  was  designated  upon  our  pocket  maps 
as  the  town  of  Chancellorsville.  The  region  of 
country  was  most  appropriately  styled  "The  Wil 
derness."  A  wilderness  indeed,  of  tall  oaks,  and  a 
dense  undergrowth  known  as  "black-jack."  There 
were  but  few  open  places  or  improved  spots.  In 
one  of  the  largest  of  these,  at  a  point  where  two 
prominent  roads  forked,  stood  the  large  building 
above  mentioned.  The  day  previous  General  Lee 
and  his  staff  had  been  hospitably  entertained  within 
its  walls.  E"ow  our  line-looking  Commander  and 
his  gay  and  gallant  staff  were  busily  engaged  in  its 
lower  rooms,  while  the  ladies  of  the  house  of  Secesh 
sympathies  kept  themselves  closely  in  the  upper 
story ,-=~their  curiosity  tempting  them  however,  to 
occasional  peeps  from  half-opened  shutters  at  the 
blue  coats  below. 

At  twelve,  precisely,  just  as  we  had  taken  a  posi 
tion  in  the  open  ground  abreast  of  the  house,  the 
sharp  report  of  a  rifled  piece,  followed  quickly  by 
the  fainter  explosion  of  a  shell,  was  heard  upon  our 
left.  Another  and  another  succeeded, — indicating 
that  the  wood  was  being  shellecl  preparatory  to  an 
advance  in  that  direction.  Slowly  we  tiled  to  the 
left,  proceeding  by  a  narrow  winding  wood- road  until, 
the  head  of  our  column  had  almost  reached  the 


302  BED-TAPE   AND 

x. 

river.  A  sudden  order  at  this  stage  for  the  right 
about  created  considerable  surprise,  which  ceased 
shortly  after,  as  the  sharp  rattle  of  musketry,  now 
as  if  picket  firing,  and  now  swelling  into  a  volleyed 
roar,  told  us  of  a  Rebel  movement  upon  our  flank. 
That  our  advance  upon  them  in  that  direction  had 
been  quite  unexpected,  was  apparent  from  their 
hastily  abandoned  camp  grounds  ;  rows  of  tents  left 
standing,  but  slit  from  ridge-pole  to  pins ;  abandoned 
caissons  and  ammunition ;  and  the  tubs  in  which 
their  rations  of  flour  were  kneaded,  with  nndried 
dough  in  the  corners.  That  they  had  rallied  to  re 
gain  their  lost  ground,  was  also  apparent. 

"  What's  the  matter,  Dinah  ? "  shouted  one  of  our 
boys  to  an  active  young'  wench,  who  was  wending 
her  way  from  the  direction  of  the  firing  as  rapidly 
as  the  frequent  contact  of  an  extensive  hooped  skirt, 
with  the  undergrowth  would  allow. 

"  Dunno  zackly,  massa  !  Don't  like  de  racket  at  all 
down  yonder,"  she  replied,  making  at  the  same  time 
vigorous  efforts  to  release  the  hold  some  bushes  ap 
peared  to  have  upon  her,  upon  either  side.  A  sudden 
roar  of  artillery,  apparently  nearer  by,  brought  mat 
ters  to  a  crisis,  and  screaming  "Oh,  Lor,"  she  loosened 
her  clothing,  and  sprang  out. of  the  skirt  with  a 
celerity  that  showed  the  perfection  of  muscular  deve 
lopment,  and  won  shouts  of  applause  from  the  ranks. 

A  sharp  engagement  was  in  progress  upon  a 
lower  and  almost  parallel  road.  The  roar  of  cannon, 
the  explosion  of  shells,  the  rattle  of  musketry, — now 
ragged  as  if  from  detached  squads, — and  now  volley 
ed  as  from  full  ranks,  mingled  with  the  shrill  cheers  or 
rather  demoniac  yells  of  the  Rebels,  pealing  their  ban 
ner  cry  of  "  Hell,"  in  their  successive  charges,  and 


PIGEON-IIOLE   GENERALS.  303 

the  gruff  hoarse  shouts  of  our  troops,  as  they  duly 
repulsed  them,  formed  a  most  martial  accompani 
ment  to  our  march.  The  unity  of  sound  of  well 
executed  volleys,  told  us  how  Sykes's  Regulars  at 
tacked,  whilst  marching  by  the  flank,  halted  at  the 
word,  faced  to  the  left  with  the  precision  of  an 
ordinary  drill,  and  delivered  their  fire  with  murder 
ous  exactness. 

A  few  stray  bullets  flying  in  the  direction  of  a 
temporized  corral  of  pack-horses  in  a  corner  of  the 
wood  in  the  rear  of  the  brick  house,  frightened 
their  cowardly  drivers,  who  commenced  a  stampede 
to  the  rear ;  and  as  we  emerged  from  the  road  to  our 
old  position,  the  beasts  were  rapidly  divesting  them 
selves  of  their  packs,  in  their  progress  through  the 
undergrowth.  In  conjunction  with  this  the  frequent 
and  fierce  charges  of  the  Rebel  massed  columns, 
favored  by  the  smoke  of  the  burning  woods,  made  a 
panic  imminent  among  the  troops  upon  the  lower 
road.  The  quick  eye  of  old  Joe  saw  the  danger  in 
a  moment,  and  rushing  from  the  house  and  spring 
ing  upon  his  horse,  he  dashed  down  that  road  unat 
tended,  his  manly  form  the  mark  of  many  a  rebel 
rifle.  Shouts  of  applause  greeted  him,  and  the  con 
tinuous  rattle  of  our  musketry  told  us  of  the  regained 
confidence  of  the  men,  and  the  renewed  steadiness 
of  our  line. 

It  was  now  four  in  the  afternoon — the  usual  time 
with  the  Rebels  for  the  execution  of  their  favorite 
movement — charging  in  massed  columns.  On  they 
came  in  their  successive  charges,  howling  like  fiends, 
and  with  a  courage  that  would  have  adorned  an 
honorable  cause.  The  steady  musketry,  but  above  all 
the  terrific  showers  of  canister  from  cannon  that 
thundered  in  doublets  from  right  to  left  along  the 


304  BED-TAPE   AND 

line  of  our  batteries,  could  not  be  withstood,  and  they 
fell  back  in  confusion.  The  nature  of  the  ground 
did  not  permit  an  advance  of  our  forces,  and  we 
were  compelled  to  rest  content  with  their  repulse. 
An  hour  later  our  Division  moved  by  still  another 
road  to  the  left,  to  a  ridge  in  the  neighborhood  of 
Banks's  Ford.  Upon  its  wooded  summit,  with  no 
sound  to  break  in  upon  us  save  the  screaming  of 
whip-poor-wills,  which  the  boys  with  ready  augury 
construed  to  mean  "  whip-'em-well,"  and  picket 
firing,  that  would  occasionally  appear  to  run  along 
the  line,  we  passed  a  comfortable  night. 

Breastworks  were  the  order  of  the  day  following, 
and  at  noon  we  were  enjoying  our  coffee  in  a  cleared 
space,  behind  a  ridge  of  logs  and  limbs  that  fronted 
our  entire  Division," and  which  we  would  have  been 
content  to  hold  against  any  attacking  force.  Can 
nonading  continued  at  intervals,  with  occasional 
musketry  firing.  As  it  was  considerably  to  our 
right,  we  were  not  disturbed  in  our  enjoyment  of 
supplies  of  provisions  obtained  from  vacated  Rebel 
houses  in  the  neighborhood.  Our  amusement  was 
greatly  contributed  to,  by  the  sight  of  some  of  the 
men  dressed  in  odd  clothing  of  a  by-gone  fashion 
able  age.  But  perhaps  the  most  interesting  object 
was  a  Text-book  upon  the  Divinity  of  Slavery,  writ 
ten  by  a  Reverend  Doctor  Smith,  for  the  use  of 
schools  ;  its  marked  lessons  and  dirty  dog-ears  shew 
ing  that  it  had  troubled  the  brains  and  thumbs  of 
youthful  Rebels.  Instilled  into  infant  minds,  and 
preached  from  their  pulpits,  we  need  not  wonder 
that  they,  with  the  heartless  metaphysics  of  northern 
sympathy,  should  consider  slavery  "  an  incalculable 
blessing,"  and  should  now  be  in  arms  to  vindicate 
their  treason,  its  legitimate  offspring. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  305 

Cannonading  had  been  frequent  during  the  day  ;  its 
heavy  booming  at  times  varied  by  the  light  rattle  of 
the  rifle.  From  four  until  eleven  P.M.  it  was  a  conti 
nuous  roar,  save  about  an  hour's  intermission  between 
five  and  six.  At  first  sounding  sullenly  away  to  the 
right,  then  gradually  n earing,  until  at  nightfall  mus 
ketry  and  artillery  appeared  to  volley  spitefully  al 
most  upon  our  Division  limits.  It  was  apparent  that 
our  line  had  been  broken,  and  apprehending  the  worst 
we  anxiously  stood  at  arms  and  awaited  the  onward. 
Nearer  and  nearer  the  howling  devils  came  ;  louder 
and  louder  grew7  the  sounds  of  conflict.  The  fiercest 
of  fights  was  raging  evidently  in  the  very  centre  of 
the  ground  chosen  as  our  stronghold.  If  ever  the 
Army  of  the  Potomac  was  to  be  demoralized  by  the 
shock  of  battle,  that  was  the  time.  But  the  feeling 
was  not  one  of  fear  with  our  citizen  soldiery — the 
noblest  type  of  manhood — rather  of  eagerness  for 
the  troops  in  reserve  to  be  called  into  the  contest. 
Just  before  six  we  heard  an  -honest  shout,  as  the 
boys  would  call  the  cheers  of  their  comrades.  It 
grew  fainter ;  the  firing  became  more  distant — 
slackened  and  ceased  at  six,  to  be  resumed  again  at 
seven,  upon  another  and  more  remote  line  of  attack. 

The  terrible  distinctness  of  this  alternate  howling 
and  cheering.— as  perceptible  to  the  ear  during  the 
thunders  of  the  fight,  as  the  silver  lining  that  not 
nnfrequently  fringes  the  heavily-charged  cloud  is  to 
the  eye, — is  a  striking  illustration  of  the  power  of  the 
human  voice.  We  were  to  have  another,  however, 
and  that  of  but  a  single  voice,  which  from  the  agony 
of  soul  thrown  into  it,  and  its  almost  supernatural 
surroundings,  must  eternally  echo  in  memory. 

About  three  hundred  yards  distant  from  the  left 
of  our  Brigade  line,  in  an  open  field,  on  elevated 


306  RED-TAPE   AND 

ground,  stood  a  large  and  comfortable  looking  farm 
house.  In  the  morning  it  had  been  occupied  ;  but 
as  its  inmates  saw  our  skirmishers  prostrating  them 
selves  on  the  one  side  in  double  lines  that  ran  paral 
lel  to  our  breastworks,  and  the  Rebel  advance  at 
the  same  time  attain  the  edge  of  the  wood  upon  the 
opposite  side, — and  the  skirmishing  that  occasionally 
occurred  along  the  lines  giving  promise  of  a  light 
that  might  centre  upon  their  premises, — they  packed 
up  a  few  valuables  and  left  for  a  place  of  safety. 
But  not  all.  We  read  of  noble  Romans  offering 
their  lives  in  defence  of  faithful  slaves.  That  species 
of  self-sacrifice  is  a  stranger  to  our  Southern  chi- 
valiy.  In  the  garret  of  the  building,  upon  some 
rags,  lay  an  old  woman,  who  had  been  crippled  from 
injuries  received  by  being  scalded  some  months 
before,  and  had  thus  closed  a  term  of  faithful  service 
which  ran  over  fifty  years,  of  the  life  of  her  present 
master  and  of  that  of  his  father  before  him.  Worn 
out,  and  useless  for  further  toil,  she  had  been  placed 
in  the  garret  with  other  household  rubbish.  Her 
poor  body  crippled, — but  a  casket,  nevertheless,  of  an 
immortal  soul, — was  not  one  of  the  valuables  taken 
by  the  family  upo'n  their  departure.  As  the  thun- 
de>-s  of  the  thickening  fight  broke  in  upon  her  lone 
liness,  her  cries  upon  the  God  of  battles,  alone 
powerful  to  save,  could  be  heard  with  great  distinct 
ness.  Isolated  and  under  the  fire  of  either  line, 
there  was  no  room  for  human  relief.  Her  strength 
of  voice  appeared  to  grow  with  the  increasing  dark 
ness,  and  above  the  continuous  thunder  of  the  cannon 
were  the  cries — "  God  Almighty,  help  me  !  "  "  Lord, 
save  me !  "  "  Have  mercy  on  me !  "  shrieked  and 
groaned  in  all  the  varied  tones  of  mortal  agony.  Long 
after  the  firing  had  ceased,  in  fact  until  we  moved  at 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENEEALS.  30  "7 

early  dawn,  our  men  behind  the  works  and  in  the 
rifle  pits  in  front  could  hear  with  greater  or  less 
distinctness,  as  if  a  death  wail  coming  up  from  the 
carnage  of  the  field,  the  piteous  plaints  of  that  terror- 
stricken  soul.  Rumor  has  it,  that  before  the  build 
ing  was  fired  by  a  shell  in  the  middle  of  the  follow 
ing  forenoon,  her  spirit  had  taken  its  flight;  but 
whether  or  not,  it  could  not  mitigate  the  retributive 
justice  to  be  measured  out  by  that  God  over  us  all 
to  whom  vengeance  belongs,  upon  the  heads  of  the 
in  grates  who  had  left  her  to  her  fate. 

We  moved,  as  we  have  before  mentioned,  at  early 
dawn  on  one  of  those  fair,  bright  Sabbath  days  so  hap 
pily  spoken  of  by  "  good  old  George  Herbert ;"  march 
ing  \)y  the  right  flank  along  our  works,  with  a  hurried 
step.  It  was  between  five  and  six  when  we  neared  the 
front, —  passing  on  our  way  out,  hosts  of  stragglers  and 
disorganized  regiments  of  the  Eleventh  Corps.  They 
had  suffered  badly — some  said,  behaved  badly — and 
some  said,  posted  in  such  a  way  that  they  could  not 
but  behave  badly.  The  merits  of  the  case  must  remain 
for  decisive  history.  Conceding  equally  good  general 
ship  to  both,  it  is  not  amiss  to  say,  that  what  happened 
under  Howard  might  not  have  happened  under  Sigel. 
The  desultory  firing  along  our  changed  front  showed 
too  plainly  the  ground  we  had  lost  the  day  before. 
In  the  wood,  alongside  of  the  road  fronting  the  right 
centre  of  our  line,  our  Regiment  lay  at  arms, — listen 
ing  to  awfully  exaggerated  stories  from  stragglers, — 
watching  the  posting  of  artillery  in  our  immediate 
front,  the  entry  of  Brigades  into  the  wood  upon  our  left, 
and  their  exit  under  skilful  artillery  praciice, — and 
now  and  then  dodging  at  the  sound  of  the  stray  shells 
sent  as  return  compliments  from  Rebel  batteries. 

"  Good-bye,  Colonel ;  these  brass-bull  pups  will 


808  BED-TAPE   AND 

roar  bloody  murder  at  Johnny  Reb  to-day,"  said  a, 
fine  looking,  whole-souled  Lieutenant,  in  command 
of  an '  Ohio  battery,  pointing  to  his  pieces  with 
pride,  as  he  hurried  by  at  a  trot,  to  relieve  a  battery 
on  our  left  centre. 

Poor  fellow !  How  blind  we  are  to  futurity ! 
His  pieces  were  scarcely  in  position  before  a  shell 
struck  the  caisson  at  which  he  was  adjusting  fuses, 
and  his  head,  picked  up  at  the  distance  of  a  hundred 
yards,  was  all  that  remained  unshattered  of  his 
manly  figure,  after  the  explosion. 

Files  of  wounded  upon  foot,  full  ambulances,  and 
stretchers  laden  with  the  more  serious  cases,  passed 
us  here. 

"  I  am  done  for,  fellows,"  said  a  slightly  built, 
pale-faced  sergeant,  resting  upon  his  elbow,  and 
pointing  to  his  shattered  side,  as  he  was  carried  by 
on  a  stretcher ;  "  but  stick  to  the  old  flag ;  it  is 
bound  to  win." 

His  passage  along  the  line  was  greeted  with 
cheers,  that  must  have  sounded  gratefully  to  ears 
fast  closing  to  earthly  sounds. 

But  why  individualize  ?  The  heroism  that  may  be 
told  of  such  a  day,  is  but  a  drop  compared  with 
the  thousand  untold  currents  of  unselfish  patriot 
ism  and  high  resolve  that  well  up  in  the  bosoms  of 
our  Union  soldiers.  Not  that  daring  deeds  are 
not  performed  by  Rebel  ranks,  but — 

u  True  fortitude  is  seen  in  great  exploits, 
That  justice  warrants,  and  that  wisdom  guides; 
All  else  is  towering  frenzy  arid  distraction." 

About  nine  in  the  forenoon,  to  the  sound  of  lively 
musketry  on  our  left,  our  Brigade  left  in  front, 


PIGEOX-HOLE   GEXERALS.  309 

crossed  the  open  space  in  front  of  the  wood,  and  in 
the  rear  of  a  white  plastered  farm-house.  A  narrow 
wood-road  led  us  into  the  wood,  and  filing  to  the 
left  we  connected  with  troops  already  in  line  of 
battle.  The  position  was  hardly  taken  before  the 
zip  !  zip ! !  zip ! ! !  of  Minie  balls  informed  us  that 
we  were  objects  of  especial  interest  to  Rebel  sharp 
shooters.  In  another  minute  flashes  of  flame  and  puns 
of  smoke,  that  appeared  to  rise  from  among  the  dead 
foliage  of  the  wood — so  closely  did  their  Butternut 
clothing  resemble  leaves — revealed  a  strong,  well- 
formed,  but  prostrate  Rebel  line.  The  firing  now 
became  general  upon  both  sides.  Fortunately  our 
position  was  such  that  they  overshot  us.  Our  men 
continued  to  aim  low,  and  delivered  an  effective  fire. 
Three  times  they  tried  to  rise  preparatory  to  the 
charge,  and  were  as  often  thrown  into  confusion, 
and  forced  again  upon  the  ground.  For  nearly  two 
long  hours  the  rattling  of  musketry  was  incessant. 
Finally,  the  Rebels  made  the  discovery  that  the  sup 
ply  of  ammunition  was  exhausted  upon  the  right,  and 
the  right  itself  unsupported.  It,  of  course,  was  the 
point  to  mass  upon,  and  on  they  came  in  solid  columns 
to  the  charge,  completely  outflanking  our  right. 

To  hold  the  ground  with  our  formation  was  simply 
impossible.  The  order  to  retire  was  giv^en  ;  and 
facing  by  the  rear  rank — the  Regiments  preserving 
their  ranks  as  best  they  could  in  that  thicket  of 
black  jack,  and  carrying  their  wounded, — among 
them  our  Major,  shot  through  the  chest — made  their 
way  to  the  open  space  in  rear  of  the  wood.  The 
colors  of  our  regiment  were  seized, — but  the  first 
Rebel  hand  upon  them  relaxed  from  a  death  shot, 
— another  was  taken  with  the  Regiment, — and  the 
flag  brought  off  in  triumph.  So  completely  had 


310  BED-TAPE   AND 

tliej  gained  our  flank  that  our  ranks  became  mixed 
with  theirs,  and  nothing  but  the  opportune  fire  of 
our  batteries  prevented  their  taking  away  a  Field 
Officer,  who  twice  escaped  from  their  hands. 

As  our  Brigade  re-formed  in  the  rear  of  the  bat 
teries,  treble  charges  of  canister  swept  the  woods  of 
the  Rebel  ranks.  We  had  suffered  heavily,  but 
nothing  in  comparison  to  the  destruction  now  visited 
upon  the  Rebels.  To  complete  the  horrors  of  the 
day,  the  wood  was  suddenly  fired,  evidently  to 
cover  their  retreat,  and  the  fire  swept  to  the  open 
space,  enveloping  in  flame  and  smoke  the  dead  and 
wounded  of  both  sides ;  and  all  this  at  the  very 
time  when  throughout  the  length  and  breadth  of 
this  Christian  land,  thousands  of  churches  were  reso 
nant  with  the  words  of  the  Gospel  of  Peace.  But 
"  Woe  be  unto  those  by  whom  offences  come." 
"  They  have  taken  the  sword,  and  must  perish  by 
the  sword." 

So  completely  were  the  Rebels  masters  of  the 
only  available  fighting  ground  that  no  further  effort 
was  made  to  advance  our  lines,  and  the  army  stood 
strictly  upon  the  defensive.  The  open  space,  in 
which  stood  the  Chancellorsville  mansion,  at  this 
time  a  mass  of  smoking  ruins,  was  in  their  posses 
sion.  At  arms  behind  the  breastworks  we  awaited 
the  onset ;  but  although  there  was  occasional  firing, 
no  general  attack  was  made  during  the  remainder 
of  the  day.  With  the  thanks  of  our  Corps  Com 
mander  publicly  given  for  services  during  the  fight, 
our  Brigade  rested  at  night,  speculating  upon  which 
side  the  heavy  firing  told  then  heard  in  the  vicinity 
of  Fredericksburg. 

During  the  next  day  we  were  stationed  as  a 
Reserve  upon  the  right,  and  called  to  arms  fre- 


PIGEOX-HOLE    GENERALS.  311 

quently  during  the  day  and  night,  when  the  Rebels 
with  their  unearthly  yells  would  tempt  our  artillery 
by  charging  upon  the  works.  On  the  day  after  we 
were  moved  to  support  the  centre,  and  kept  continu 
ally  at  arms.  In  the  afternoon  a  violent  thunder 
storm  raged— the  dread  artillery  of  Heaven  teaching 
us  humility  by  its  striking  contrast  to  the  counter 
feit  thunder  of  our  cannon.  Rain  generally  follows 
heavy  cannonading.  All  that  afternoon  and  the 

freater  part  of  the  night  it  fell  in  torrents.  Cannona- 
ing  in  the  direction  of  Fredericksburg  had  ceased 
during  the  day.  Sedgwick's  disastrous  movement 
was  not  generally  known, — but  our  wounded  had  all 
been  sent  off ; — our  few  wagon  trains  and  our  pack- 
horses  had  crossed, — and  notwithstanding  the  show 
of  fight  kept  up  in  front,  enough  was  seen  to  indi 
cate  that  the  army  was  about  to  recross  the  Rap- 
pahannock. 

Favored  by  the  darkness,  battery  after  battery 
was  quietly  withdrawn,  their  respective  Army  Corps 
accompanying  in  Regiments  of  two  abreast. 

The  movement  was  in  painful  contrast  to  the  spi 
rited  order  that  gave  such  a  merry  May-day  to  our 
hope  upon  the  first  of  the  month.  In  blouses  that 
smoked  that  wet  night  around  camp  fires  kept  up 
for  the  purpose  of  misleading  the  enemy,  our  men 
stood  discussing  the  orders,  and  the  counter-orders, 
and  what  had  happened,  and  wThat  might  hap 
pen,  from  the  step.  Hooker  had  credit  for  the  suc 
cessful  execution  of  his  part  of  the  programme. 
"What  was  wrong  below,  was  conjecture  then,  and 
does  not  yet  appear  to  be  certainly  understood. 

"  Where  is  Old  Pigey  ? "  said  one  of  a  group  of 
officers,  suddenly  turning  to  a  comrade,  as  they 


312  BED-TAPE   AND 

stood  about  one  of  their  camp  fires.     "  He  has  not 
been  near  our  Brigade  during  the  day." 

"  !N"o !  nor  near  the  other,  except  to  damn  it  in 
such  a  style  as  to  draw  down  the  rebuke  of  a  supe 
rior  officer,"  replied  the  man  addressed.  "  Follow 
me,  if  you  desire  to  see  how  a  i  cool,  courageous 
man  of  science,'  one,  whose  face,  as  the  Reporters 
say  of  him, '  indicates  tremendous  power  in  reserve,' 
meets  this  crisis." 

The  two  retired,  and  on  a  camp  stool,  with  cloak 
wrapped  closely  about  him,  in  front  of  a  fire  whose, 
bright  blaze  gave  him  enormous  proportions  upon 
the  dark  background  of  pines,  surrounded  by  his 
Staff,  his  hat  more  pinched  up  and  askew  than  usual, 
and  receiving  frequent  consolation  from  along,  black 
bottle,  evidently  his  power  in  reserve  upon  this  occa 
sion,  the  General  was  discovered  in  a  pensive  mood. 

"  Do  you  know,"  continued  the  officer,  "  that  he 
reports,  as  a  reason  for  his  absence  to-day,  that  he 
did  not  consider  it  prudent  to  be  near  our  Brigade 
during  the  loading  and  firing  exercise." 

"  The  torturing  of  a  guilty  conscience,"  was  the 
reply.  "  Our  men,  as  true  soldiers,  know  but  one 
enemy  in  the  field."  '!.  u 

At  length,  at  two  in  the  morning  of  the  6th  of 
May,  wre  cautiously  commenced  our  movement  to 
the  river.  The  dawn  of  a  rainy  day  saw  us  formed 
in  line  of  battle,  supporting  artillery  planted  to  pro 
tect  the  crossing.  About  eight  our  turn  came  upon 
the  swollen  stream.  The  rain  pelted  piteously  as 
we  ascended  the  steep  slope  of  the  opposite  bank, 
and  after  a  day's  march  over  roads  resembling  rivers 
of  mud,  we  slept  away  our  sorrows  under  wet  blan 
kets,  in  the  comfortable  huts  of  our  old  camp  ground. 


PIGEON-HOLE   GENERALS.  313 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

The  Pigeon-Hole  General  and  his  Adjutant  under  Charges 
— The  Exhorting  Colonels  Adieu  to  the  Sunday  Fight  at 
Chancellorsvitte ;  Reasons  thereof — Speech  of  the  Dutch 
Doctor  in  Reply  to  a  Peace- Offering  from  the  Chaplain — The 
Irish  Corporal  stumping  for  Freedom — Black  Charlie's  Com 
pliments  to  his  Master —  Western  Virginia  at  the  Head  of  a 
Black  Regiment. 

"  HEAD- QUARTERS,  DIVISION. 

« ARMY  CORPS,  7th  May,  1863. 

"  GENERAL  ORDERS,  Ko.  22. 

6  £  rr^HE  term  of  service  of  six  of  the  eight  Regi- 
I  ments  forming  my  Division  is  about  to  ex 
pire.  In  the  midst  of  the  pressing  duties  of  an  active 
Campaign  there  is  but  little  time  for  leave-taking, 
yet  I  cannot  part  from  the  brave  officers  and  men 
of  my  command  without  expressing  to  them  the 
satisfaction  and  pride  I  have  felt  at  their  conduct, 
from  the  time  when  I  assumed  command,  as  they 
inarched  through  Washington,  in  September  last,  to 
join  the  Army  of  the  Potomac,  then  about  to  meet 
the  Enemy,  up  to  the  present  eventful  period. 

"The  cheerfulness  with  which  they  have  borne 
the  unaccustomed  fatigues  and  hardships  which  it  is 

14 


314  BED-TAPE  AND 

the  lot  of  the  soldier  to  endure  ;  their  zealons  efforts 
to  learn  the  multifarious  duties  of  the  soldier ;  the 
high  spirit  they  have  exhibited  when  called  on  to 
make  long  and  painful  marches  to  meet  the  enemy, 
and  their  bravery  in  the  field  of  battle  have  won  my 
regard  and  affection.  I  shall  part  from  them  with 
deep  regret,  and  wish  them,  as  the -time  of  each 
regiment  expires,  a  happy  return  to  their  families 
and  friends. 


"  Brig.  Gen'l  Com'g  Division." 

However  profound  the  regret  of  the  General  at 
parting,  he  must,  from  the  phraseology  of  the  above 
Order,  have  been  conscious,  that  in  his  own  conduct 
was  to  be  found  the  reason  that  such  regret  was  not 
in  the  least  reciprocated  by  his  command.  So  com 
pletely  had  he  aliened  the  affections  of  officers  and 
men  that  the  ordinary  salute  in  recognition  of  his 
rank  was  given  grudgingly,  if  at  all.  When  there 
is  no  gold  in  the  character,  men  are  not  backward  iu 
proclaiming  that  they  consider 

"  The  rank  is  but  the  guinea's  stamp." 

As  their  campaign  approached  its  close,  he  added 
studied  insult  to  long  continued  injury.  His  incon 
sistency,  and  willingness  to  make  use  of  a  quibble 
for  the  accomplishment  of  tyrannical  purposes  were 
shown  by  his  non-approval  of  the  requisition  for  dress 
coats,  when  it  was  handed  in  by  the  officer  in  com 
mand  of  the  .Regiment,  a  short  time  after  the  re 
moval  of  the  Colonel  and  Lieutenant-Colonel  for 
refusing  to  obey  the  order  requiring  it.  Charges 
had  been  preferred  against  his  Adjutant-General  for 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  315 

repeated  instances  of  "  Drunkenness  upon  Duty," 
"  Disgraceful  Conduct,"  and  "  Conduct  unbecoming 
an  Officer  and  a  Gentleman."  They  were  returned 
to  the  Brigadier,  through  whom  they  had  been  sub 
mitted,  with  an  insulting  note,  in  which  the  General 
took  occasion  to  state,  by  way  of  prc-judgment,  that 
the  charges  were  malicious  and  false,  notwithstand 
ing  the  scores  of  names  appended  as  witnesses ; — 
and  that  no  Volunteer  Captain  had  a  right  to  prefer 
charges  against  one  of  his  Staff;  and  that  it  was  the 
duty  of  the  Brigadier  to  discountenance  any  charges 
of  the  kind.  They  were  again  forwarded,  with  the 
statement  of  the  Brigadier,  that  the  charges  were 
eminently  proper,  and  that  he  himself  would  pre 
fer  them,  should  objection  be  taken  to  the  rank  of  the 
officer  whose  signature  was  attached.  But  pigeon 
holing  was  a  favorite  smothering  process  at  Division. 
Head  Quarters,  and  the  drunken  and  disgraceful 
conduct  of  the  Adjutant-General  remains  un 
punished. 

Charges  supported  by  a  large  array  of  reputable 
witnesses,  ranking  from  Brigadier  to  Privates,  were 
preferred  against  the  General  himself,  for  "Drunken 
ness,"  "  LTn-officerlike  conduct,"  "  Conduct  tending 
to' mutiny,"  and  the  utterance  of  the  following  trea 
sonable  and  disloyal  sentiments  : — 

"  That  he  wished  some  one  would  ask  the  army  to 
follow  General  McClellan  to  Washington,  and  hurl 

the  whole  d d  pack  into  the  Potomac,  and  place 

General  McClellan  at  the  head  of  the  Government, 
— that  the  removal  of  the  said  General  McClellan 
was  a  political  move  to  kill  the  said  General ;  and 
that  the  army  had  better  be  taken  to  Washington, 
and  turned  over  to  Lincoln." 


316  BED-TAPE   AND 

The  charges  and  specifications,  of  one  of  the  latter 
of  which  the  above  is  an  extract,  alleged  that  the 
offence  was  committed  at  Camp  near  Warrenton, 
about  the  time  of  McClellan's  removal.  Whether 
they  too  have  been  pigeon-holed  at  Division  Head- 
Quarters  is  not  known.  Attention  to  their  merit 
was  promised  by  superior  officers.  The  patriotic 
sacrifices  of  our  citizen  soldiery  are  surely  worthy 
of  an  unceasing  and  unsparing  effort  "to  procure 
loyal,  temperate,  and  capable  commanders.  A 
timely  trial,  besides  affording  a  salutary  example, 
might  have  done  much  in  preventing  the  disgrace 
ful  Rebel  escape  at  Williamsport,  which  alone  dims 
the  glory  of  Gettysburg.  ******* 

The  last  that  was  seen  of  the  exhorting  Colonel 
and  his  Adjutant,  was  their  sudden  exit  from  the 
wood  at  Chancellorsville,  in  an  early  stage  of  Sun 
day's  fight,  —  the  one  with  a  slight  wound,  and  the 
other  with  a  headache  caused  by  the  cannonading, 
as  alleged.  A  performance  which  has  not,  thus 
far,  brought  the  coveted  star.  ****** 


"I  propose  the  health  of  the  Assistant  Surgeon," 
said  the  Chaplain,  at  a  supper  given  by  the  Sutler 
on  the  day  of  our  muster  out,  and  the  occasion  of 
the  presentation  of  a  costly  sword  to  our  worthy 
Colonel,  —  proposing  thereby  to  make  an  advance 
towards  healing  their  differences.  The  Doctor  could 
not  escape  ;  and  winking,  as  usual  with  him  during 
excitement,  he  rose  to  his  feet. 

"  My  ver  goot  kind  friend,  the  English  language 
he  am  a  shtranger  to  me,  IsTo  shpeak  so  goot  aa 
Shaplain,  but  py  tarn,"  and  the  Doctor  struck  the 


PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS.  317 

table  until  the  plates  rattled — "  was  py  the  Shaplain 
over  six  month,  and  my  opinion  is,  Shaplains,  wo 
men,  and  whiskey  not  goot  for  soldiers." 

The  Doctor's  look  and  tones  were  irresistibly  ludi 
crous,  and  a  roar  of  laughter  at  the  expense  of  the 
Chaplain  ran  round  the  board.  ****** 

The  Regiment  returned  with  ranks  sadly  thinned. 
Many  of  the  survivors  ;  among  them,  most  of  the 
Field  and  Staff,  the  poetical  and  the  preacher  Lieu 
tenants,  and  privates  Tom  and  Harry, — have  re-en 
tered  service.  The  two  latter  now  carry  swords. 


Bill  the  cook  is  the  presiding  genius  of  a  restaurant ; 
his  face,  in  the  way  of  reminding  one  of  hot  stews 
and  pepper-pot,  his  best  sign.  Charlie,  his  assistant, 
was, last  noticed  in  a  photographic  establishment  in 
Philadelphia,  inclosing  a  full  length  card  portrait 
of  himself  in  uniform,  as  a  Corporal  in  a  Black 
Regiment,  for  the  benefit  of  his  master's  family  in 
Dixie.  ************* 

The  little  Irish  Corporal  was  heard  to  tell  a  brawl 
ing  peace  man, — as  he  menaced  with  the  stump  of  an 
arm, — lost  at  Chancellorsville — in  a  saloon  a  short 
time  after  his  return,  to  "  hould  his  tongue  ;  that  the 
boys  who  had  lost  limbs  in  defence  of  the  country 
were  the  chappies  to  stump  for  freedom,  and  that 
they  would  keep  down  all  fires  in  the  rear,  while 
our  brave  boys  are  fighting  in  front."  *  *  *  * 

A  late  mail  brings  the  news  that  our  Western  Vir 
ginia  Captain  is  soon  to  take  the  field  at  the  head  of 
a  Black  Regiment,  and  that  the  happiest  results  are 


318  BED-TAPE   AND   PIGEON-HOLE    GENERALS. 

anticipated  from  his  enforcement  of  military  law  and 
tactics,  as  learned  by  him  under  "  Old  Rosy,"  in 
Western  Virginia.  ********* 

Thus  we  go  on.  Necessity  hastens  the  progress 
of  civilization  and  freedom.  Desolating  war — pro 
tracted  by  mistaken  leniency — has  educated  the 
nation  to  a  proper  sense  of  the  treason,  and  nerved  it 
to  the  determination  to  crush  it  by  all  possible  means 
and  at  every  hazard.  The  man  who  has  hereto 
fore  objected  to  Negro  enlistments,  acquiesces  when 
his  own  name  appears  upon  the  list  of  the  Enrolling 
Officer.  The  day  that  saw  the  change  in  the  miser 
able,  not  to  say  treasonable,  policy  of  alienating 
the  only  real  friends  we  have  had  in  the  South, 
and  their  successful  employment  as  soldiers,  stands 
first  in  the  decline  of  the  Rebellion.  Its  suppression 
is  fixed,  and  is  to  be  measured  by  the  vigor. with 
which  we  press  the  war. 

"  Vengeance  is  secure  to  him 
"Who  doth  arm  himself  with  right." 


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